Something happened recently. I was playing with a person I’d played with on numerous occasions when while using a strap or belt, I went a little high. By way of explanation, it was in a dark corner of Paddles and I misjudged the distance — it happens. What surprised me was that the person I was playing with felt the need later on to apologize for saying “Red” as if there was something wrong with that. It could not be further from the truth.
Safe words exist for a reason. Period. They are there for the safety of the person on the receiving end of things and because there may be no other way for the Top to realize the other person is in some state of distress. The fact is that I don’t consider safe words an insult to me — as if the person I’m playing with is telling me that I’m not good at what I’m doing. I may kind of know what I’m doing most of the time but there are slip-ups like the one mentioned above. Again, it happens. It also happens that at any particular moment, I may be out of sync with the person I’m playing with even though each of us may know the other person’s style and approach to play. Safe words work in this regard because they help me step back a bit and perhaps rework what we’re doing before carrying-on.
Unless it’s a completely headspace destroying moment, I can often pick up where I left off without much of a problem. It’s sort of like a director saying “Cut” before moving the cameras for the next shot. You keep the moment alive in your head and wait for the word “Action”.
Radspace 
