Date - Saturday, October 24, 2015
Timing - 8:19 PM
Needed a space to write down my thoughts so here i am back again at this neglected space of mine. Doubt anyone remembers the existence of this blog .
I did something this morning which was uncharacteristic of me. Out of nowhere, i confessed to her about how i feel. It was met with shockness from her side as it came too sudden. The response was not favorable and i could sense an immediate awkwardness that is gonna be surrounding us the next time we meet as a group.
Hours after the morning incident, i look back and asked if i could do it any better. Would it be better if those words did not get sent thru to her. Various thoughts running through my mind throughout the entire day. Tried to sleep it off but to no avail. This is one of those days where the urge to just get out of the house was incredibly strong but yet i stayed home still. I didn't know who i could talk to, who i could meet and what i could do. I resisted the idea to just tell someone what happened. Never had i been wishing that its Monday again when i wake up, at least i'll be surrounded by people in the office and the travelling to and fro work which would make time pass faster.
4 more months to go!
Date - Monday, April 21, 2014
Timing - 11:07 PM
Time flies as I'm approaching the last 4 months at my current company. Can't wait for the day that I can finally tender my resignation and leave this job which I never fancy right from the start. The fact that I'm able to stay for 1 and a half year amazes me as well. But well perhaps that's what growing up has done to me, it taught me to hold on when things gets tough. Things dont get easier, you just get tougher.
Okay enough of work, nothing good to post about.
Recently been having a lot of free time and have been doing some thinking. Thinking about what kind of job I'm gonna find in general. It sucks to know that I have no experience and that I have to start afresh in a new line of work. But well I made a choice to pursue my studies in IT so i guess I can't really whine about it.
It takes effort to maintain a friendship. Whether is it taking time out of your busy schedule to have dinner or catch a movie together. It requires all parties to make some form of compromise in order to make things work. But then again I think that's part of growing up I guess. Friends become too busy with their own life and start to drift apart. Perhaps I should start joining my other friends for activities. Realized I've been neglecting them for so long. Maybe it's time to make a change in life instead of waiting for one to happen. Maybe it's time to make your own plans instead of waiting for others.
Choice
Date - Sunday, December 29, 2013
Timing - 9:14 PM
Everyday we are required to make choices, whether is it what to eat, what to wear or what to do etc. And its human nature to think of all the possible scenarios if we were to make a different choice. Like what would happen if i chose to do these, what would happen if i chose to do that. We all have this perfect plan in our mind and we all hope that the choices we made would make those plans happen. But 9 out of 10 times, tHings dont go according to plans and perhaps thats the interesting thing about life. You never know what will happen next and what you can do is just sit back and embrace the surprises that life brings you.
I always believed in what goes around comes around. If you do not want your friends to judge you then dont judge them in the first place. Its a vicious cycle and it will only jeopardise your friendship. We cant determine whether the choices they made is right or wrong as everyone has their own pov on certain issues.
Recovery
Date - Monday, December 23, 2013
Timing - 10:56 AM
(Verse)
I don’t wanna play this game no more
I don’t wanna play it
I don’t wanna stay round here no more
I don’t wanna stay here
Like rain on a Monday morning
Like pain that just keeps on going on
(Verse)
Look at all the hate they keep on showin
I don’t wanna see that
Look at all the stones they keep on throwin
I don’t wanna feel that
Like sun that will keep on burning
And I used to be so discerning oh
(Pre-Chorus)
In my recovery
I’m a soldier at war
I have broken down walls I defined, I designed
My recovery
In the salt of the sea
In the oceans of me
I defined, I designed
My recovery
(Chorus)
(Falling, I fall right in
Falling, I fall right in
Recovery, recovery
Recovery, recovery)
My recovery
(Falling, I fall right in
Falling, I fall right in
Recovery, recovery
Recovery, recovery)
(Verse)
And I can hear the choirs keep on singing
Tell me what they’re saying
I can hear the phone, it keeps on ringing
I don’t wanna answer
I know what I used to listen
And I know I’ve become dismissive
(Pre-Chorus)
In my recovery
I’m a soldier at war
I have broken down walls
I defined, I designed
My recovery
In the salt of the sea
In the oceans of me
I defined, I designed
My recovery
(Chorus)
(Falling, I fall right in
Falling, I fall right in
Recovery, recovery
Recovery, recovery)
My recovery
(Falling, I fall right in
Falling, I fall right in
Recovery, recovery
Recovery, recovery)
(Pre-Chorus)
In my recovery
I’m a soldier at war
I have broken down walls
I defined, I designed
My recovery
In the salt of the sea
In the oceans of me
I defined, I designed
My recovery
(Chorus)
(Falling, I fall right in
Falling, I fall right in
Recovery, recovery
Recovery, recovery)
My recovery
(Falling, I fall right in
Falling, I fall right in
Recovery, recovery
Recovery, recovery)
Soaring, keep so… right in
Ended prematurely.
Expectations
Date - Friday, November 29, 2013
Timing - 1:14 PM
Are we expecting too much from life, family, friends. And ourselves? Expectations is a double edge sword. It brings you hope but at the same time, it brings you disappointment as well. Nts: don't expect too much from anybody including yourself..
New Year , New Resolution
Date - Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Timing - 1:13 PM
2013 is ending in a little more than a month's time. Its the time of the year where you would review what you have done/achieved in this past year. My biggest achievement or rather change would be the transition from a student to a working adult. To me, its quite a big change. Before NS, i'll never have thought that i be stepping into this working society as soon as i complete NS. But well here i am, going into the 10th month at my current job. This job seriously sucks except for the flexibility of the working hours. I do know every job have their pros and cons but seriously my patience is wearing thin as each day passes. I tend to see the good in people but the people i faced everyday whether is it tenants or contractors, they made me become a person i never thought i would be. Okay enough of work, its getting demoralizing.
Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. How true can this sentence be. Read this in some random article posted on Facebook. Expectations is often the culprit for your disappointment. Life is full of surprises, full of false dawn and 9 out of 10 times, it would not go according to what you expect it to be. So why not embrace the surprises that it brings and stop expecting.
When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale
I want to hide the truth
I want to shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
When the curtain's call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made
Don't want to let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't want to hide the truth
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I want to save their light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
There's a demon in every one of us. If you find someone who can accept the demon inside you, hold on to him/her and don't let her/him go!
Time to set my 2014 Resolutions!
1) I don't expect honors for my degree but at least i must finish it within the planned time frame
2) Need to change my temper and also attitude
3) Need to get my lazy bum off the couch and start working out again
4) A new job i guess
5) Try to expand my social circle
I guess that's all for now. Will add in as and when i think of something new. SO TILL THEN!!