It’s not easy being green (and pink)

I can’t believe I was so foolish as to think that getting our DA approved (over two weeks ago now!) would signal the start of the actual building phase of our renovation project. In fact, we are really no closer to starting the work than we were before.

The builder came to see us a week or so ago. He wants clarification on the conditions of the DA before he will give us a final price and take out a homeowner’s warranty certificate.

We cannot collect the DA until we have a homeowner’s warranty certificate. Anyone spot a problem here?

Basically, the builder is convinced that council will require a 100mm step-up to the living room slab. Apparently in new buildings, the slab is raised 10cm above ground level to ensure the bases of the walls are not soaked in water in case of flood.

Well, the council has not said they require this. They’ve inspected the site and were satisfied with the level of waterproofing (there is drainage EVERYWHERE on our block – it was previously owned by plumbers – and the house is at the top of a hill, so the likelihood of a flood is somewhere around one in 400 gillion.

I mentioned this to the builder. He said he wants the council to put it in writing that the step up is not required. I told him I thought it would be reasonable to assume that if it wasn’t listed as a condition, then it was not a condition. He didn’t seem to understand this. So, no progress till we get confirmation from council.

And of course they’re not going to give it to us. It’s ridiculous to ask them to confirm that something not listed on the DA is not a requirement. It would be just as stupid if I called and said, “The DA doesn’t say we need to install one of those wind direction thingies with the rooster on top. Can you please write a letter confirming we don’t need one?”

So anyway, I figured they’d never agree to waste time writing a letter to say that an unlisted condition was indeed not a condition. I decided to email them about my dilemma and hope that their response would count as a written confirmation. Alas, they have not replied and I suspect they won’t.

Meanwhile, the builder absolutely insists on an engineer’s report even though council didn’t think it was necessary and neither did the architect. And, to make me extra happy, he’s decided that he can’t simply increase the height of the existing walls. Nope, he says he has to knock down and rebuild.

He gave us a big spiel about how it’s not possible to just add height to an existing wall – would have been way more convincing if he hadn’t previously told us it WAS possible.

Meanwhile, it’s been two weeks since we contacted the mortgage broker and she’s yet to come back to us with any advice or options.

So I am doing absolutely nothing about anything for the moment. IF the mortgage broker gets back to say we can actually borrow the money we need, I might start chasing the council and the builder and the bloody engineer, but until that point I am just over wasting time and energy on this stupid project.

We are currently 19 weeks into this saga with nothing to show for it besides a depleted bank account.

So it’s been a week now since our development application was approved. The builder finally called back this morning but had nothing useful to offer.

Each time we talk to him he goes on about needing an engineer’s report but the plans are signed off and we do not need an engineer’s report. I am nervous about convincing the builder of this but I don’t want to throw yet another $500 away before we even start.

Meanwhile, I can’t even pick up the council paperwork because we need a homeowner’s warranty certificate. And we can’t get that till we sign the contract with the builder. And the builder can’t even meet with us till the end of the week.

And it hardly matters anyway because the mortgage broker has not called us back, and we won’t be entering into a contract with anyone if we don’t have any money!

Do not renovate your houses, people! Seriously, this is taking so much more effort – and money – than I ever expected. I hope it’s worth it.

We finally got council approval for our renovations – a mere three months too late. I’ve griped about it before but just to refresh your memories, I no longer have a permanent job. I make as much money as I did before, but banks do not like self-employed people.

Not only do they not like them, they don’t give them a fair go. Our bank – the one to which we’ve been dutifully paying our mortgage without a hitch for over three years – will not take into account the amount of contracting I am currently doing. Nope. They’ll only look at how much contracting I’ve done over the past two years. While I had another job. I wasn’t doing much contracting WHILE I HAD ANOTHER JOB. DUH.

Anyway, that’s the crux of it, again.

I’ve contacted a mortgage broker and she’s looking into it but she’s been upfront about the fact that we’ll have trouble getting finance. It sucks because if I was making this amount of money in a permanent position we’d be able to borrow at least twice the additional amount that we actually need.

And what really gets me is that if we’d borrowed that money before I left my last job (again, thanks council, for taking 11 weeks to rubber stamp our application) the bank wouldn’t even have KNOWN that I was now contracting. So what’s the difference?

Uggh.

Anyway I am feeling frazzled and stressed again. I wish I could look at my bank account and realise there was an extra zero on the balance. Then things would be easy. I want easy! waaah!

Okay, I am done whinging about that. I shall now whinge about something else reno-related.

I don’t know where we’re gonna fit all our stuff when we have to clear out the shed and the back three rooms! In fact, I don’t even know exactly where we’re going to fit ourselves, let alone all our stuff!

I’m hoping the kids might be able to share a bedroom but Hunter’s so unpredictable I couldn’t say for sure. If she’ll go to bed quietly after Hugo’s asleep it might work, at least on the nights where she doesn’t call out to us for random things or wet the bed (both of which she did last night).

If that works, then the computer can be set up in our room and I’ll have to work from there. If it doesn’t work, Hugo will be in Hunter’s room, Hunter will be in with us and the computer will be in the kitchen.

In any case, it’s going to be a squeeze, and that’s before we try to figure out what to do with the lawnmower and the elliptical cross-trainer and 10 billion toys and a TV and who-knows-what-else.

I am actually excited about this reno, truly. I just wish the reno fairy would solve all the associated problems.

Anyway, I’m hoping to pick up the paperwork tomorrow. It’ll cost me another thousand bucks for my trouble.

Reno cost tally so far = about $4k. Work completed so far = none.