I am writing these in the form of a list only because it is soothing to me as I am someone who has a very mild form of OCD when it comes to organization.
1. Biggest lesson learnt from trial and error is that repetition is the key to success ( and to failure). I try to be habitual, be repetitive in my actions, in my thinking in order to train my neurons to act the way I want them to act- for eg:
a. I want to be judgement free so I try and over ride thoughts of judgement by thinking of empathy and allegiance to the humanity in that person instead. This has resulted in me overcoming thoughts of judgement almost on a reflex. However, as all things usually are, this is work in progress too.
b. Waking up and going to work or waking up and getting on with the chores of the day helps me train my mind to dress up, show up and apply myself. This was the hardest to learn as I had free reign on sleeping and completing tasks during my undergrad years which pretty much destroyed any routine I could have cultivated for years after that. So kids, make sure you wake up early, eat your breakfast, get done with the shit that needs taken care of in the day and then relax as much as you can!
c. Taking time off for yourself and your sanity- I used to do this typically when I would be closer to a breakdown or during a breakdown and then it'd become a forced exercise instead of systematic time off taken by own volition. I am still learning & working on this but knowing that I need to take time off regularly, to help not reach breakdowns, is an achievement in itself. So I give kudos to myself. LOL.
d. Wake up, dress up, show up and apply yourself is the only consistent piece of advice I can give to anyone because I know for sure that this gives you results. If you don't screw this up, you wont screw up your present or future, as much as your self destructing brain forces you to. In fact, you will train that wild brain of yours to self preserve and achieve success( whatever the meaning of success you have defined for yourself, its another topic altogether and will deal with in another post, maybe) instead of being its own enemy!
2. Now, I am tired of writing this post already, so I am not sure if I can write 30 things. Hey, I am no buzzfeed and I don't have 100s of unpaid writers giving their best years to an organization which thrives on minimizing their experiences into listicles! But, I will try to write just a few more points and leave this post TBC because.... because I can! Because its my fucking page. Go screw yourself.
Oh also FYI, none of these points are in any particular order of importance or brilliance.
So, lets jump into friendships! Because why not! Best friendships are formed when you don't have much to lose and are usually formed when you are in school or college having been mass imprisoned together, asked to fend for ourselves. And so we end up finding people who have the most similar attitudes and thoughts on life as ours and become friends with them! And because it is so simple, we are able to make many friends and because it is so simple, we start dropping them as we move up the ladder of age, education, career, family etc. Simple! The only thing that is not simple is sustainability of good friendships and the art of keeping people close to you who are nice to you regardless of what a douche you are or can be at times.
a. My two cents are that we should pick up the phone and call our friends from time to time, message them and talk about something substantive other than the weather occasionally. Most friendships only require this and we, as colossal failure of a species that we are, cant even do this sometimes.
b. It is nice to have a lot of friends but it is not nice to have a lot of lousy ones. So pare down, unapologetically. As simple as that. We have only so much energy and so much time to deal with shenanigans so use it prudently to deal with other people's drama. Choose friends that add value to you and you add value to them and their life. As rude as this sounds, it helps to keep two hair strands worth of sanity in you. Preserve yours and theirs by keeping the circle small.
c. Cultivate friendship with your partners. Let it grow by giving them space. Try and not change them.This is one friendship that you will live day and night so handle with care. Jagged rocks don't help anything grow, smooth rocks also don't. So don't be a rock. Be earth. Wow! I love that metaphor! I will trademark that when I have money to pay the lawyers.
TBC (HAH!)
