Family Heirlooms

Here's Nana Kellogg's trusty old Hamilton Beach mixer. Mom had this in her pantry when we cleaned out the folks house, and I drew the right straw to inherit it. Somewhere I have the handmade embroidered cover for it, too. Makes me wonder how many batches of her famous molasses cookies were mixed up in this! Ya can almost smell the molasses in it, too. (Not sure if it's real, or my just wanting to smell her cookies). It sits up on top of one of our kitchen cabinets, to remind me daily of what a wonderful Nana I had(have!)

Installing a husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

———————

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter the command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, download Tears 6.2 and be sure to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, please remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

(…just a little marriage fun for ya!)

~Unknown Author

Family Heirlooms 'n Stuff

I want to get back to what I started posting on the 'net for in the first place, passing on family pix and info that I've gathered. So let's do some "heirlooms". I have some goodies that have been passed on to me from both sides of the family, some of it important, some of it not so much.

This was passed onto me from Grandpy Kellogg. It was one of his machinist tool boxes. I have alot of his old tools, too, many of which I use daily at work. This box is in too bad a condition to use anymore, so it sits in a Rubbermaid tote out in my shop. The little metal plate you see sitting on the drawer has engraving on it, which says "Made Jan 1941, Chas. R. Kellogg, Original made 1876". I do recall Grandpy saying it was an old sewing box. Don't know who's it was before he got it, though. It appears he replaced all the drawer bottoms with pieces of tin, probably so they'd hold the weight of his tools.

I'm Back

Think I'll post "stuff" here. I'll put a link on FaceBook, and let everyone decide if they want to wander over here and read my rubbish. If ya like it, great. If ya don't, then don't bother. I think I am just am too upfront for some folks. I mean what I say, I say what I mean. And I have a rather blunt obnoxous(sp?) sense of humour. Not everones cup of tea.