Save Me

Someone Please Save me

LOST

I'm not who you think i am ....if you follow me you might get lost, If you want to be lost then follow me,I cant be who you want me to be, Maybe its time to give up what i have because i cant be who you want ....

Hello ???????

i feel like a ghost where i go ....i wonder if its time to leave and see if i am missed , do i mean here? no I am meaning in my life, I feel so alone and confused at the moment. Does she really love me or are they just words so that i don't leave and provide for her and the kids? I wish i had a magic wand that can tell me what to do...Anyone

totally done !!

is ready to end it all soon ........I have no one .....

Saturday Blues

I am not sure if this is the right thing or not, I had my 15^th year anniversary this week. I am emotionally and physically starving for attention but there is no connection with my wife and there hasn’t been for yrs, do I want another affair? Not really but what I want is a connection of some kind and I have been looking for something and I know that when you look for something it makes it more difficult to come across or is that just me? I was not looking for a affair when it happened and now that she gave up on me and moved on I feel completely lost and depressed more than I have ever felt in my life and I can’t seem to find a way out of this depression, I seem to just continue to dwell on her life watching her facebook daily looking at pictures of the time when we were together and now my wife wants to go back into marriage counseling and I know that It can’t not hut but I think the problem is there is no trust in this relationship we just sit in our own little corners and let life pass us by. She lost her job and things feel like they did five yrs ago when she sat at home all day reading and not giving a shit about the house I come home from work after 12 hours and the house looks like a piece of shit hit it . Do I love her? Yes as a person I do, but I am not in love with her, there is no connection. So where do I go? I am feeling really antsy and wish I knew the right place to look. Looking for answers seems so dark and difficult. I wonder if what I have done to myself ruined my life…?

GRRRRR !!!!!!!

I really hate Head Games .....someone just shoot me please

Reunion time

I know that I sounds like a broken record but i am going through the motions this weekend that i really am at a lost as of to jump off a cliff or go and hide, my side of the family does a reunion every odd year in July and it happens to be that time of the month for it ....Over 100 people in the same area trying to get along for three day UGH...And my wife tells me at the last moment that she needs to work and that in order for her to keep her in home job they are giving her a transfer and that she needs to work all she can until the 9th of July. Not only do i feel ALONE at home with my kids i am really feeling alone now , the kids and i are heading to this reunion with out her and she gets to stay home for four days by her self ...I love my family don't get me wrong , its just the fact that they do all have amazing relationships with there spouses and there is nothing left inside of me for mine..I really dont know where i went wrong with my wife and losing T at the same time , I have decided that i wasnt going to text T anymore and that i was going to let it all go. The pain insde is too deep and i just need to let it all go and move on and if there is no Love after this then I guess that i will take it as that , but one day at a time ....Do i let the fact of my wife staying home slip by of make it a way of being the bad guy and blame her for not attending this ...UGH !!!! Good times