Disclaimer: This is a really long post. Most of you will probably not want to read it but I know there are a few of you who would like to read it. Those who do not, there are some pictures so just scroll through. Those of you who like a good labor story, press on. And P.S. I know I could have edited it down for the blog and all that but I have spent a few hours working on this story for his baby book and I just don't feel like editing it down.
Thursday, April 26th
Had contractions most of the night (Wednesday) so I had Ryan
stay home from work. We went for a walk to the park, by the time we got there
all contractions stopped. I had him go to work but stay near the phone.
Had contractions throughout the day but they seem to go away when I
walk around. Stupid false labor. I keep writing down the times but then they go
away so I now have a bunch of notes with times written on them all over the
house. I was sure that this baby was going to be here at least by his due
date...
Friday, April 27th - My Due Date
Went to my doctor’s appointment in the morning, doctor asked
if I wanted my membranes stripped, I hesitated but said no, I didn’t want more
false labor. Instead she did a vigorous exam which made me ask, “what are you
doing?” She said, “trying to get things started.” May I add that in the parking
lot a lady asked me if I had a cell phone because there was a dead duck in the
blockbuster parking lot and the companion duck was quacking and sad and morning
the loss of his loved one. Not sure why she chose the gigantic pregnant lady to
be the one to call animal control but I had a good excuse to get inside to my
appointment because I was almost late. I really don’t know what she expected me
to do at that moment. Glad there are people out there with really big animal
hearts.
After that appointment I went to Chick-Fil-A with the girls
and my mother in law. She was shocked when I said that restaurant but I can’t
help it, it’s good, and when you have a gluten free child it is nice to have a
restaurant where you can get them something they like and will eat (plus the
girls got to play at the play place). When we were leaving Dixie offered to
keep the girls for the afternoon so I could do whatever I wanted. Woo Hoo! That
was so nice and exactly what I needed. So, I went and got a pedicure. I have
had a gift certificate for many months and I had been planning on going but
just hadn’t made time for that yet so here was my chance.
The girl who did my pedicure and many others at the salon
asked when I was due. I loved this question and I really loved answering it.
TODAY! Today? TODAY! Today?!!! It was so hilarious. I had my mom come to the
appointment with me. It was during this time that my contractions started to
become a bit more regular. I had my mom time them and she started writing them
down too. They were a bit sporadic but they were about every 5 to 8 minutes. I
am pretty sure the nail lady was scared that my water was going to break on
her. When it came to the massage part I told her to work my pressure points
real good so that the baby would arrive soon.
On my way home from the pedicure I called Ryan at work and
told him that he should probably head home but that we weren’t in any
emergency. I really didn’t want to be along just in case something happened.
The girls were still with Dixie and she was fine keeping them for a while. Ryan
came home and I went downstairs with my paper to write down contractions and
watched a bit of TV.
Ryan got home and we just kind of strategized. It was nice
because the girls were already with people who knew them and loved them. I kept
having thoughts of me going into labor and having to drive myself to the
hospital with the girls so it was nice to have peace of mind about them. My mom
went and got them from Dixie’s so that my dad could watch them for the evening.
Ryan ate some dinner. I didn’t eat anything because I just
couldn’t think about food for the first time in, you know, 9 months. I showered
at about 6:30 all while having contractions and thinking that things were just
getting started. We left for the hospital at about 7:15 that night after me
going back and forth saying “Well, I guess I am in labor but not hard labor
yet, but maybe we should go just in case, maybe not, maybe we should, I guess
we could just get closer to the hospital in case this baby slides out, well?,
Should we? Am I? I don’t know... Let’s go!” Seriously, I was so indecisive, I
should have known that I wasn’t in true labor yet, I had totally psyched myself
for a 1 hour labor.
We stopped at King Soopers and picked up a few snacks for
the next few days and a treat for the girls for when they visited us in the
hospital. I kept having to stop in the store to have the contractions and I
would pretend like I was looking at random things around the store. Ryan kept
saying, you stay right here and I will go and get _____. I didn’t really want
him to leave me and I wanted to keep walking.
We arrived at the hospital at about 8:15, we had to walk all
around because I decided we didn’t need to take the tour. We finally figured
out where we were going and got checked in to the labor and delivery triage at
St. Joseph’s hospital. The triage nurse was really nice and was excited for me
trying to do the whole natural delivery thing. I was having fairly intense
contractions at this point but I knew I wasn’t yet in active labor. She checked
me and I was 3 cm dilated. She said they don’t check you in until you are at a
4 or you are in true active labor. She had me walk around a bit and wait in the
lounge area and said she would check me in 2 hours. We called both of our moms
and told them to head down to the hospital because we were going to have this
baby sometime that night. My mom ended up getting super confused and lost and frustrated
and panicked trying to find the hospital and get parked. I called her and told
her that it was going to be a while and that she could walk slowly. Both of our
moms got there at about the same time. Ryan talked to our moms while I walked
around the room and breathed and tried to jump in the conversation when
necessary.
Nurses changed and my mom and I went for a couple of loops
around the hospital waiting rooms and conference areas. I kept feeling like
this child was trying to break my water with one pointy finger so I would have
to stop and stretch things out. Our brisk walking seemed to slow down
contractions (once again). As we were walking back I knew that I hadn’t changed
any more and had a feeling they were going to send me home. The nurse checked
me and sure enough, I was one of those people who needs to be sent home because
I jumped the gun and went to the hospital. (Many people told me that the third
baby is kind of a mystery as to how the delivery will go. Don’t believe the
people who say the third one will just come right out real fast, I don’t
believe them now at least.) So they sent me home with a Percocet and an Ambien
(because how was I going to sleep with these contractions?!). I was scared that
with the Ambien I wouldn’t wake up from the contractions and would come too
close to having the baby in my sleep but the nurse assured me that nothing like
that had ever happened. I was also afraid that the Ambien would not allow me to
have a natural labor because I would just be way too tired and I would beg for
an epidural. I felt pretty lame for having our moms come down and getting all
worked up about things (I might have even cried a bit but I will blame the
tears on the hormones).
We left the hospital at a little after 11:00 and got home at
about 11:30. I went to bed almost immediately (after a few more tears, must
have been the Percocet). My contractions were getting harder and harder but I
just hoped that the medicine would give me a bit of relief. I woke up at about
3:00 am with horrible contractions and decided I would get in the bath to see
if that would relax me a bit. Our bath tub has a slow leak in it so I would
start out with lots of water in the tub and then I would fall asleep and wake
up to an empty tub. Then I would fill it up again. Then I would fall asleep,
wake up and get out. I repeated this process three times. I don’t know what I
did in between baths. I think I tried to get back in bed each time but I would
wake up soon after in too much pain to sleep.
Saturday, April 28th
At about 6:00 in the morning I lost my mucus plug and
decided that we should probably head to the hospital because I was definitely
going into active labor. I showered again (I don’t know what it was with me and
showers and baths this time) and got ready and we left at 6:37 am. We kind of
started a tradition with Addie to stop at Lamar’s to get donuts. Both times I
have had to exit the store because of a hard contraction and get into the car
to scream and breath by myself. I was sad when we were heading to the hospital
the night before because Lamar’s was closed so I wouldn’t have my delicious
after labor donut. Good thing I had false labor!
We got to the hospital at 7:10am and thankfully we had a dry
run the night before so we knew where to park and where to go and when to call
people. They checked me in the triage and I was dilated to a 5 and was
obviously in active labor so they sent me up to labor and delivery (thank
goodness!).
Some of the details get a little foggy at this point. Once
we got settled into our labor and delivery room we called our moms and told
them to head down to the hospital because it was happening this time.
I told the nurse that I wanted to have a natural
delivery and that I really needed her to be on my team and be one of my coaches
and she responded “Well, it’s up to you if you want to have a natural
delivery.” ALARM! Hmmm, we were going to have to see how this worked out but I
was optimistic. I had told many people that I would not be afraid to ask for a
new nurse if my nurse wasn’t measuring up because I know that the nurses are
very important in the success of my delivery. I decided that I needed to call
my friend Shelley and have her come up and be on my team if this silly nurse
was not going to be my advocate. I have done plenty of reading about natural
delivery and I know that studies show that the more women you are surrounded
by, the more successful a natural delivery can be. I had been at the birth of
her last child so I decided it would be great to have her along for the ride. I
called and woke her up and she headed right over (within 15 minutes or so).
I am pretty adamant about not laying down while going
through contractions because that is pretty much the worst position ever to get
any sort of relief from the pain so every time I was asked to lay down and be
checked or have the belt put on or put in the IV, I would immediately ask if I
could stand up again. I am sure that the nurse was annoyed with me from the get
go.
I have had many IV’s put in me in my life so I know what
they are supposed to feel like so when that silly nurse put in that IV I knew
that something wasn’t right. It’s a pretty large needle that they have to use
but golly, it was so uncomfortable. I ignored it and asked if I really needed
to be hooked up to the bag or if I could just have the catheter left in. She
insisted that I be hooked up to the bag so I obliged. I also had the belts on
me to monitor the baby's heart-rate. I tried to get out of that thing (why does
it have to be sooo tight?) but the nurse said that the baby's heart rate kept
going down during my contractions so I left it. Up to that point the baby had
looked amazing and strong and totally fine. (In the end my good nurse took out
the IV because it wouldn’t really have done any good had they needed it because
it was not put in correctly.)
During contractions my coping mechanism was to bend over and
lean on the bed which gradually turned into me leaning on a ball that was on
the bed and Ryan was holding. Since I would lean over the belt would move so it
was looking like the baby was experiencing some heart issues and distress
during my contractions even though he wasn’t, I was doing it with all of my
moving around. At one point in time the nurse was trying to get a read on the
heartbeat and I told her she was in the way wrong place so I moved it and found
his heartbeat right away (she was pushing hard on my bladder!). I am sure that
nurse just thought I was a huge pain in the neck at this point in time. So then
I asked her if I could get in the bath. She was not on board with that because
of the heart rate stuff but Shelley asked her if they had the water-proof
monitor and belt so that I could get in and still be watched (Thanks Shelley!).
It took the nurse a really long time to figure that belt out and had to have
quite a bit of assistance to get it figured out (the manager came in to help
and told her to just let me get in the water, the baby looked fine and the low
heart rate was because I was bending over). Ryan got the bath ready because the
nurse didn’t know what she was doing and I got in. Shelley held the monitor in
place and I relaxed in there for quite a while. All the while Shelley and Ryan
were trying to give me the back counter pressure that I really need and lean
over the tub and hold the belt on and give me words of comfort. Phew. They had
a hard job.
Once out of the tub I went back to the ball and bed routine.
The midwife and resident doctor came in and checked me out and offered to break
my water saying that sometimes that helps to get things going a little faster.
My water broke on it’s own with both girls so I didn’t really want to do that
at first but I felt like I had been in labor for a long time at this point.
That silly nurse hadn’t been back in the room to check on us for a while (at
least an hour) and I was kind of fed up in my mind so I asked the midwife if I
could have a new nurse. She said yes and five minutes later in walked my new
fantastic nurse.
At 10:45 they broke my water (they let me keep standing and
not lay down!) and I was dilated to a 7. Contractions continued getting
stronger and it felt like longer. My team of people was very busy at this
point. Shelley was directly behind me giving the counter pressure on my lower
back just how I like it. My mom and mother-in-law had their hands on my back
throughout most of it. Ryan was at my side rooting me on and being present with
me. I eventually got on the bed to lean over the back of it while on my knees.
I think they were afraid I was going to have the baby drop out onto the floor.
Shelley got on the bed on her knees behind me and kept me covered up (thanks
again!) but otherwise rolls and positions stayed the same. Shelley said that at
one point in time she was really worn out and muscles were getting a bit tired
and she thought about asking Ryan to take over but she just pushed right on
through. Ryan also said he thought about offering but he felt that his job was
to be right next to me. They were both so right. I don’t think that I would
have handled any sort of change very well at that time.
I am not sure what Ryan and my mom were doing at one point
in time but as I was going into a contraction (I would warn them with a “Here
comes another one!”) I didn’t feel the same number of hands on me so I said “I
need more HANDS!” and so many hands rushed over and were placed on me just the
way I needed. Another time I looked at the nurse in desperation and pleaded,
“Why isn’t he coming out????!!” The only time the epidural was mentioned by me
was during a contraction I said “Why didn’t I get an epidural???!!!” which some
of the people in the room don’t even remember me asking. As contractions would
come and go, I would do a deep moan type of thing that probably only sounds
natural in labor. I did this so much that after delivery I asked Dixie to bring
me some cough drops to the hospital to make my throat feel better. My eyes
stated closed almost the entire time too with the exception of my plea to the
nurse to “JUST GET HIM OUT!”
Many prayers were said by me (about two minute prayers) and
by others in the room I am sure. My mom and mother-in-law wondered many times
if they could just have the epidural instead. My moms knees went weak a few
times (good thing she wore her walking shoes!). When trying to go natural you really
have to go to a different land. I am not sure where I am but I know that other
people are present but conversations between them are a blur even while they
are happening. I would think, they are talking but I just can’t hear what they
are saying. One of the few things I remember people kept telling me and that
was making me so mad is “You are almost there! You are so close!” I wanted to
scream that I wasn’t almost there because I had already been doing it for hours
and I didn’t think anyone knew that I was close because I felt like I was so
far. I didn’t say anything to them until later because I knew that thought was
irrational, illogical and so rude.
Okay, back to the labor details. At 11:50 I was dilated to a
9, they decided to let me try and push to see if that would help that last
centimeter (this happened with Addie too). So onto my back I went. While
pushing they tried to get his head to come through that last centimeter. I pushed like
there was no tomorrow while the baby tried to get into position. He turned
quite a few different ways to try and come out the correct way and with the
proper 10 centimeters. It hurt my neck really bad to put it to my chest so I
had Ryan help with my neck because I knew I would be sore afterwards if I
didn’t get some relief from that (I was still super sore in my neck for a few
days).
Ryan and I hadn’t given him a name but decided to take a few
names to the hospital that we really liked knowing that this little boy would
not tell us what his name should be but that we would feel good with one of
them. Elliot had been my favorite name on the list but Ryan had a few that were
right up there with it. At 12:05 the midwife asked what the baby’s name was
going to be. I was in my special place and was thinking of telling the story I
had told for the past couple weeks of taking a few names to the hospital blah,
blah, blah when Ryan said, “Elliot”. There were a few reactions from the crowd
but I am not sure what was said. I thought to myself “YES!” I had teased Ryan
that I was just waiting to be in labor so that he would let me decide on the
name because he would feel awful for all the pain I had to endure. Ha! And I am
now finally at 10 cm.
After what felt like another 48 hours I remember my final
two pushes. I pushed and could tell he was crowning but then my contraction
ended (What?!) so I had a crowned baby and just had to wait a minute or two
until another contraction came. The midwife insisted I stop pushing but allowed
me to do little tiny pushes. Shelley said that she couldn’t believe what was
happening at that moment. She looked at me and I wasn’t screaming or moaning or
making faces, I was simply laying there - waiting. I knew in my head that he
was almost out and that he would come out and that I was almost done and I wanted
to save up that last bit of energy because HE WOULD COME OUT ON THIS NEXT PUSH!
And he did. 12:21pm. Five hours after arriving to the hospital. Twelve hours
after being sent home. Twenty-four hours after my doctor’s appointment.
As soon as he was out I felt a tremendous relief. HUGE
relief. GIGANTIC relief. I opened my eyes and said “Hello” to all the people in
the room. It was literally as if I had left the planet and arrived again
suddenly. Transported.
At the hospital they insist on mother skin-to-skin time for
the first hour or so of life so no one else held him for that first little
while. We just bonded and talked about how big he looked and admired him and
let him rest up from his journey. Who does he look like? Isabel kind of? It’s a
boy, right? He had so much hair! Such huge hands! Such squinty eyes! Such tiny
feet! Good ears! And those cheeks! Such chubby, chubby cheeks.
Ryan finally got to hold him for a bit and then they put him
on the scale. I heard a bit of commotion but I was pretty wrapped up in the
after labor stuff and talking on the phone to Isabel? I don’t remember who I
was talking to. The nurse came over to me and said “Teri, look at how much he
weighs.” 9 pounds 7.7 ounces. What?!? I didn’t think I was going to have a baby
THAT big. During delivery everyone put in a guess to how much he would weigh, I
think the highest was 8 lb. 4 oz. Boy, were we off. (I thought 8 lb. 1 oz. Ryan
guessed 8 lb. 3 oz.)
We released all of our help and got settled into our new
room and rested and loved on this little boy. The girls came to the hospital in
the afternoon and were absolutely so excited to meet him. Addie couldn’t stop
saying “Baby!” and Isabel beamed with pride. They are such good big sisters and
can’t stand being far from their brother and wanting to tend to his every need.
Ryan and I had played around with many middle names but in
the hospital decided Ryan’s favorite name would become his middle name (talk
about meeting in the middle!). Mercer has no real significance for our family
except that we liked how it looks and sounds with Elliot.
He has been in our family for two weeks now and it feels
like he has been with us forever (how does that happen?). We sleeps quite a bit
and doesn’t really have his days and nights all figured out quite yet. He had a
horrible smelling umbilical cord for which he needed a bit of treatment
(infection) but has since healed. He was back up and over birth weight at 11
days old and eats all the time. If he is not sleeping, he is eating. There is
not much awake time in between. We will take advantage while we can.
He still has the chubby cheeks and looks like a significant
little baby. People are shocked to find out how young he is because he looks so
filled in. We love our little guy a lot. I love this baby stage so much and I
feel like I am enjoying it in a different way this time.
We have been so well cared for and I am so grateful for
that. We are so lucky to have such amazing family and friends who care so much
about us and our little family. You are all very special people.
