SPROUT is 5 months old!!!

Everyday I look at this sweet baby boy and wonder if we will have the opportunity to make him a forever part of our family.  No matter what the outcome of his journey in foster care will be...he will ALWAYS be part of our family...even if he is not here.  His giggles is SO sweet and his smile is contagious.  I have given his situation over to God (many times) and I continue to pray God's best for Sprouts life.  God knows my hearts desire...to love this sweet boy FOREVER. 

At 5 months old he is now:

* wearing 6-12 month clothes (some 3-6 still)
* going to bed at 9pm and sleeping till around 6am
* still taking the pacifier
* wearing size 2 diaper
* sleeping on his belly :)
* holding his own bottle (or at least trying)
* LOVING his feet!! He discovered that he has these two things on the end of his legs and he LOVES that they go with him EVERYWHERE!
* ticklish and laughs out loud :)
* LOVING the jumper00
* still trying to talk and 'sing'.  His voice is so adorable!
* blowing raspberries
* teething...I think :) His hands are ALWAYS in his mouth!
* recognizing who he knows and gives HUGE smiles :)
* visiting with bio mom for 2 hours supervised and 3 hours UNsupervised a week.

Check out the other blog for some more news and updates! :)

Whirlwind of emotions.  Agency worker came to pick up Sprout for the one hour supervised visit and told me that mom was arrested and in jail for the weekend.  (Don't you get ONE phone call from jail?!?!?) Anyway, he also informed me that the county worker got wind of some news that bio mom was about a month along in her pregnancy.  Before you get your hopes up...she's not.  Well, she's not admitting to it if she is.  The agency worker that supervised the visit asked her and she said no.  I guess he believes her.  Not sure what to think.  He kids of felt that she was being honest...by her reaction. Things would be changing drastically if she is.  But to be honest...the weekend in jail was enough to put a smile on my face.  She is showing everyone that she cannot adequately parent Sprout.  I was told that her visit went well and Sprout did alot less crying because the agency worker asked me to send the type of bottle that I use and he (Sprout) actually let her (bio mom) feed him.  Check out the other blog later this weekend for some new pics and more info.  I also will update about my now 5 month old baby boy :) 

I probably should have written a bit sooner.  Alot has happened.  After the county worker told me that Sprout wasn't going home in June, she also mentioned that dropping visits down would probably be in the future.  Sprout SCREAMS during the entire visit and the agency worker who supervises doesn't think that it's right to make Sprout suffer because of his mother's inability to care for him.  So, last week, one of our visit days went from 2 hours UNsupervised at her home to one hour supervised.  The next day she had a psych eval.  Sprout was transported by the county worker and I was told that he screamed the ENTIRE time.  Bio mom didn't remember to bring a diaper bag so she had no diapers or bottles.  (Oh, to be a fly on that wall!!!!)  The Dr who performed the eval suggested that mom have MORE time with the baby in hopes (yeah right) of bonding better.  Funny how the next day for her visit...she didn't call to confirm (like she has religiously from day one) her visit time by 9am Friday morning.  I waited there for 15 minutes with the county worker then I was told I was free to go.  She did check her messages ONE last time before letting me leave.  I can't even begin to tell you how fast I left that parking lot.  I didn't want to chance bio mom coming in while I was leaving.  I thought it was a fluke thing and that we'd resume visits as normal but on Monday morning I got a call from the agency worker telling me that she (again) did NOT call to confirm by 9am and the visit was off.  So, two in  a row :)  I took Sprout up to D*S*S for a sibling visit yesterday.  While we played, Sprouts agency and county workers dropped in.  I was told I'll get an earful today about WHY bio mom missed those visits.  I can't wait to see what colorful excuse she has come up with.... 

I wanted to write this all down so I can remember.  I dropped Sprout off at his visit today and the county and agency workers were both in the parking lot.  I had 3 babies with me and they were peeking in on them all.  (Lil' Handsome leaves tomorrow)  The county worker came to me and said (in a very apologetic tone) "I'm really sorry if there was any confusion about Sprout leaving.  He was NEVER going home in June and everyone who is associated with this case has major concerns about his well-being when he is with his bio mom.  We are considering going back to supervised visits and dropping visits down (from 5 hours a week probably to 3) but we have to make sure we do it right so bio mom's defense can't argue.  Her parenting skills are lacking so we've asked her to have a cognitive evaluation done and she has agreed (even though it wasn't in the court order) and we feel that will tell us alot about her ability to adequately parent Sprout.  We do not take your concerns lightly because most of us here have the SAME concerns so rest assured that our recommendation to the judge is NOT reunification this early."   Wanna talk about a sigh of relief?!?!?  I was speechless.  I feel better now :)

Sprout was transported for a visit today.  I guess he was a bit fussy for the HOUR and mom said something like

"why does he have to freakin' cry the whole time he's here?" 

LoLoLoLoLoLoLoLoL

***As reported by the agency worker***

We have a sweet baby boy here for respite.  Handsome got here a few days ago.  He'll be here till next week.  This is the baby that came into care earlier this year.  He is placed with a friend of mine.  Loving every minute!!!  I can SO do twins!!! :)

P.S.- Went to buy a M0ther's D@y card for bio mom.  Do you know HOW HARD it is to find a card that is appropriate for her?!?!?! 
I might just have to find a blank one and fill in some jibberish... 

Oh, the JOY's of fostering.... :)  More soon!

I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone :/  But I STILL wanna shout is from the roof tops!!! 

SPROUT IS NOT GOING HOME IN JUNE!!!!!

The NEW agency worker came to transport for a visit yesterday and said he'd be a little late dropping Sprout off because he and the county worker were going to have a quick meeting with bio mom after the visit. [1st UNsupervised at HER house!]  I asked why and he said that the county does not feel that she's doing what is required of her and that they want her to understand that she needs to STOP jumping to conclusions and he is NOT coming home in June.   {HUGE smile}  She also agreed to a cognitive evaluation (which is NOT in the court order...but she agreed to it!)  and that alone will delay him going home OR go in our favor when it's proven that she is UNABLE to care for him adequately.  I can't believe this.  I just keep praying that EVERYTHING be brought to light to keep Sprout safe.  I keep handing him over to God...every chance I get.  HE IS FAITHFUL!!!!

Not sure how to feel these days.  Sometimes he cries and I don't know how to help him because I, myself, need consoling.  The though of him leaving in just 2 short months makes me sick.  I'm not sure how I should be praying.  Do I pray for the WISDOM and COURAGE to FIGHT for him??? Or the PEACE to LET HIM GO?  I truly felt that this {the issues I'm having with the county over sending him home} was a mountain I needed to pray away.  I have begun to really seek God in what He would have me do. Unfortunately, I have no clear answers.  June is just a few weeks away.  I look at this sweet boy and can't imagine my life without him yet I know that God loves him more than I EVER could.  I have read and re-read the story of Abraham and Isaac MANY times.  I am trying to understand why no one wrote about what Abraham's reaction to God's request.  Because I am struggling with this does that mean I have no faith!? Certainly not.  I have asked God WHY he would call us to walk this emotional journey of F0$ter C@re again...only to lose...again.   Many people have said something like "you've given him the best beginning" or "he'll always have the love you gave him in the first few months".  Well, reality check.  This can ALL be undone when she leaves him crying in his crib or doesn't meet his needs.   I don't have all the answers.  Heck, I don't have any answers.  But I know I have to pray.  Pray that God makes all of this clear to me and that even when I can't see his hand...I will trust His heart.