Sprout is 7 months old.  How quick time is going...  What a smart, strong, sweet boy I have.  I am truly blessed.  He is so amazing.  He is learning new things every day.  He can now:

* sing.  He LOVES to make noise!
* army crawl.  He pulls himself along with his arms.
* take his socks off.  He does NOT like his feet to be covered!!
* wearing size 3 diaper.
* still in 6-12 mo clothes.
* taking a pacifier.  Especially at night.
* taking the bottle. About 6 ounces every 4 hours
* eating baby food and cereal.  We've tried all stage 1 and 2                 fruits and veggies.  He LOVES them!
* loves puffs and will literally 'sing' for his food!
* still LOVES to jump in the jumper00 :)
* LOVES the pool or any type of water!!
* not sleeping through the night.
* LOVES nursery rhymes and songs
* loves to clap hands. but cannot do it on his own yet
* has the best smile :)

With every month that gets closer to our 12 month mark...I get more and more anxious.  My sweet baby boy turned 7 months old.  I did not forget to document it.  For some reason I am scared.  Scared that he could be with his paternal g-ma for next months update.  Scared that I could lose him.  To be honest, there IS a very small part of me that is completely at peace in knowing Sprout is OURS.  I just wish that small part would take over all the big parts :(  No new updates on the paternal g-ma. As far as I know, she has not filed her paperwork yet.  Many thoughts have run thru my head.  At court, hubby heard them say that she is getting a lawyer.  Then the craziness began in my head. 

But then I hear that strong, still voice saying...

"Trust me.  I've GOT this. This is NOT your battle to fight.  Leave it to me. I will carry you through." 

And then, I'm ok.  Just like that. 

Not to say there is no fear.  I'm human.  But I hold tight to the fact that these words are coming from His mouth and I'm at peace again. 

I trust Him.  If I've learned anything from this 6 year journey...I trust Him. 

Well, we FINALLY had our day in court :)  It began with a quick chat with the county worker when I pulled into the parking lot.  She informed me that bio mom has said that she has no problem with paternal g-ma adopting Sprout..um, WHAT!?!?!?!  Then she proceeded to tell me that my Lil Meatball might be coming into care but his aunt has been cleared to take him.  I was just so flustered that I had to get inside and SIT.  So, I get into the waiting room and I had to pick my poison.  Sit with paternal gma or bio mom.  I chose bio mom.  At least I'd get a laugh from the trash she talks...and I did.  She had some words on her shirt that were pretty offensive (which the judge later yelled at her for) and she she went on about how well Sprout is doing at the visit with her.  How he smiled at her (yes, moron, he's been smiling since JANUARY!!!).  She also told me how she 'read with him all the time when he was with her'.  Ok, chica.  Can we say delusional!?!?!?  He was with her for 4 DAYS in the hospital!!!!  She is a crazy one.  I told you I'd get a laugh from her.  Anyway, we got on the subject of kids and her 2 year olds adoption.  She went on to ask me if I'd adopt Sprout if I got the chance.  Again, I danced around the question because I was totally afraid of saying the wrong thing and she came right out and asked IF HE BECAME AVAILABLE FOR AD0PTI0N, WOULD WE AD0PT HIM so she knew he was in a good home?!?!  Well, when you put it that way, yes, I would.  And I told her so.  We were finally called into the court room and 'the donor' was present again.  

The highlights were as follows:

*county lawyer asked for an increase in visitation
*bio mom's lawyer called her missing visits since May 'a hiccup in visitation'
*Sprouts lawyer was offended at the 'hiccup' terminology because 'there should be NO REASON a mother is kept from her son'.
*'The donor' did NOT ask for visitation for Sprout because he felt that Sprout is too young to be subjected to the 5 hour drive and shouldn't see his 'donor' in jail.
*Sprout's lawyer asked to reconvene in 90 days instead of 60 days because this is bio mom's 3rd child she's represented and this shouldn't be prolonged. 

The judge agreed with Sprouts lawyer so we'll be back doing this (court) again in 3 months.  I am wondering why 'the donor' didn't ask to see the son he so desperately is claiming is his.  I wonder if paternal gma's doubts are settling in with him.  Or maybe (just maybe) he is a decent guy and really DOES want to spare his son from the stress of travel.  After court I met with the county worker again and she said I was 'cute' when I spoke about Sprout in court.  Not sure what that means.  She also said that she thinks bio mom will give up with visits and that in 3 months we'll be looking at either the beginning of TPR or a surrender.  She also said that paternal gma is the 'wild card ' right now.  Not sure what will happen there.  Hmm, too much to ponder.  Right now, I'm gonna just trust God that HE has this WHOLE situation in the palm of His hand.  I am also wondering if paternal gma risks losing the granddaughter she has custody of if her house does not clear certification (due to structural damage).  Much to think about.  I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on the info given.  What do YOU think will happen?!?!

I was kinda stressed about court yesterday.  I was also thankful that hubby was off and able to go with me.  Not sure he realizes how much of a calming effect he has on me. Anyway, as we were going through the metal detectors I glimpsed to my left and saw Felix.  A big 3 1/2 year old boy playing trains on the other side of a glass door.  I just stood and stared for a minute.  It's amazing how all of a sudden he is popping up everywhere.  It was just a blessing to see him.  I continued on to the waiting room and met up with Sprouts agency and county workers.  Because I knew that 'the donor' was there I didn't want to be anywhere he could see us so I went to the other side of the waiting room.  Imagine my surprise when there he was...my sweet Felix.  I didn't realize that the room I saw him playing in was the OTHER side of the waiting room.  I love how God has a way of making me smile even on the most stressful days :) :)

About court.  Well, I think it's all a crock.  They brought bio dad (which makes him sound like some super hero...so for here on out we'll call him donor!) from a prison 5 hours away.  We were in the court room all of 15 minutes till we were adjourned AGAIN till next week.  Apparently, the PUBLIC defender didn't realize he has previously defended bio mom (duh) so there was a conflict of interest and we got adjourned (did I mention it was for the SECOND TIME!?!?!?)  Anyway, paternal gma was there and asked me if I thought the donor looked like Sprout.  I said nope.  She started on a rant that (and I quote)

'that is why I was pushing for the DNA test to be done.  I think it would be horrible to move the baby from where he is striving (she meant THRIVING) and is so adjusted if we're not even sure it's the donor's son my grandson.  I would be taking in some stranger's baby and 'make him my grandson'.  What happens if there is a medical crisis 10 years down the road and we can't help him out!?!?  But I guess this is something you do out of obligation.   

Seriously!?!?!? 

Seriously!!!!!

Did I mention that the agency worker was standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!?!?!?  She had verb@l diarrhe@ and it just kept coming out.  Which ABSOLUTE KILLS me because 30 minutes earlier in the waiting room she was asking (in front of the county worker) what size clothes and what size diaper Sprout was in.  She also asked if she could buy him some stuff and send it home with me.  Can't begin to tell you how frustrated I was but I'm sure you can tell it by the 'tone' I'm typing in :)  And the best part is...we get to do it ALL AGAIN...next week :/  I'm too unhappy to post about the good and crazy things that happened today.  That'll have to wait till tomorrow!!!

Sorry for not being more diligent in keeping up here.  We took a WELL DESERVED family vacation (and brought Sprout with us!)  I'll update you here and for those who can access THIS...you can SEE what we've been doing :)

Paternal g-ma had another visit this week.  She has not yet filed papers to get Sprout.  While I am anxious to see how this will play out...I am at peace.  I truly feel that God is calling me to another WHOLE LEVEL of trusting HIM.  We go back to court this week and bio dad will be there.  Should be interesting.  Sprout had a wonderful time on vacation with us.  Meeting new people and seeing the ocean for the first time.  He has been eating solids (baby fruits, veggies and rice) for 2 weeks now.  He is also trying to crawl.  He is such a happy boy.  More soon...