Immortal?

We were on the subject of "aging" the other day in a Pathobiochemistry lecture, and we basically talked about what exactly makes us age, and what conditions have to be fulfilled by a cell for it to be immortal. As the lecturer was talking about how scientists discovered why hydra (A minute freshwater coelenterate with a stalklike tubular body and a ring of tentacles around the mouth) show no sign of senescenece or mortality, which was that they could replace every cell in their bodies with new cells, there was this sentence that particularly caught my attention:


Even if (the replacement of every cell) achieved in humans by engineered stem cells, replacement of neuronal cells with change mind and wipe memories...


Imagine that you're offered immortality in exchange of your mind and memories... do you wanna live forever? All the sweet (of course, and bitter) memories will be wiped away, just so that a mere physical body could live on, and all the personality and talents that make you the unique you would be altered... that sounds like a body without a soul to me. And that, isn't a real life. 


Oo.. and then that reminds me of this, though not quite relevant... 


And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? ~Matthew 16:26 NLT

The end of one decade of Harry, Ron and Hermione

After some amount of arrangements with cousins, parents, aunt and uncle and brothers (ya...), I finally got to go to Melaka GSC cinema for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, in 3D! I wouldn't want to spend extra money for 3D effects normally, but seeing that this was the last Harry Potter film ever, I wanted something special! =p

Harry is too centred in this poster in my opinion. I like the Trio together more than Harry The Hero.

I've been following this series since movie one to movie eight, that's from when I was 11 to when I'm 21! A good 10 years of fascination, even though I can't deny they weren't exactly very good movies. Ya, I'm one of those who tolerated the movies for the sake of the books, hehe...

At long last I'm sure that I'm NOT being biased when I say: This movie is awesome! And the 3D effects just added to its awesomeness, minus that fact that I felt uncomfortable at the beginning not being used to the effects. The fighting were great, and the scenes go smoothly from one to the next, especially the scenes of Battle of Hogwarts, which was gripping from the beginning to the end! I must say that this is the only movie in the whole series which I have no major complaints about (luckily...). Of course it would have been more thrilling if I wasn't so familiar of the story =p

That is to say, this movie was really nice to watch, since I'm not a hard-core fan who compares every single detail of the movie to the book. Some pretty good scenes in the book are missing from the movie, but there's no way a movie can capture everything from the book, just like the movie has effects that can't be presented by the written words unless helped with our own imagination. So, despite the modification and cutting out of original storylines, I really did enjoy it very much =D

Forgive me for the overloading of pictures in this post... it's that last one already anyway =p Ok one VERY LAST one.... cuteness that caught my attention 10 years ago =p

Zvikov and Orlik

Before I could upload photos of saliva-stimulating photos of Malaysian foods, let's talk about the wonderful trip I had with 3 close friends in South Bohemia before we went our separate ways...... for this summer holiday =D. We've done our exams and renewal with visa, and that left us with nothing to do before we could fly back home, so what could be better than a nice trip together?

It was recommended by a Czech friend for its scenery, and after some research online, my friends discovered these places called Zvikov and Orlik. It was the most remote place I've visited in Czech Republic. We took a bus in the morning, and as the bus got nearer to our destination, the road became narrower and with less traffic. When we got off the bus, we were actually the only group of people walking on the road! After some walking we finally reached the tourists spot where we could see a number of tourists, but it was really very quiet if compared to other places we've been. One thing we've noticed, we could hardly see any Asian faces, in contrary to other tourists' attractions in this country. I think it just proves that it's one of the hidden treasure that's difficult to find without recommendation of a local.

Zvikov (credit: online source)

part of Vltava River 

group photo! 

it was a relaxing place with little crowd, perfect for chilling =p

small castle by the river

Zvikov and Orlik were a short distance away from each other, we first visited Zvikov, then we took a boat to Orlik, enjoying the green scenery along the river =). 

the closest thing the Czechs have to a sea?

It was a windy day and we weren't wearing anything thick. In fact I was shivering most of the time, but I'm glad we went on this trip, despite its lack of... exciting stuffs. Who says peace and quiet doesn't make a good outing? =)

From Prague to Home

Home!! =D

I've reached Muar last Wednesday Thursday early morning and haven't had a day without some amazing Malaysian foods since then!

Another academic year has passed in a glimpse of an eye. It feels just like yesterday when I headed home with a heavy heart and defeated spirit. It has truly been God's blessings that I've manage to finish 2nd year smoothly this time, however impossible it seemed to be.

I was feeling quite unsafe, taking my first exam (Physiology) on a very early date, the first day possible. It had always occurred to me as what the geniuses do, taking the pre-term and finishing off the exams before everyone else does. However due to a period of absence of possible exam dates in July and August, I had no choice but to push myself forward despite a bit of uncertainty. Besides, deep in my heart I was craving for a true summer holiday as I counted myself never knowing it. It was a great experience taking pre-term exams. Weak as I was in the face of stress, I was miraculously relatively (compared to previous exams) calm in the last week before the exam, as I trusted not in my own strength.

Unfortunately the second exam (Biochemistry) managed to dig out my fear and everything. I had 3 weeks plus to prepare, which was considerably short compared to the at least 2-month preparation I did for Physiology. I was losing in the struggle against stress and fear and would have given up if it had not been because of the support from family and amazing friends ='D. The trust and faith I had before Physiology exam was no where to be found and all day long I was worried and scared when I think of how much more I needed to study. I was basically mourning for my "gone" summer holiday already. I allowed past experience to speak convincingly to me, telling me that since I could fail once, I could fail twice. At this point, I realized that my so-called "faith" was sill dependent on circumstances, and I questioned my worth in God's eyes.

*fast forward*

As you probably have guessed, my second exam went great... my examiner was kind and understanding!

Up next, was another important stuff I had to do before I could come back - renewing the visa. For those who had booked a good time, it wasn't as bad as previous years, but as the date I was able to book was too late, I queued up early in the morning to make sure I get a number, and could get it done before the office closes. By "early morning", I mean 12am, so a friend and I left house at 11.30pm the previous day. It was rather dark in the the surrounding of the building, and there was no one else except a big spider, a huge slug and a busy hedgehog, so honestly I was really relieved to see police patrol car twice during the night, haha! Thank God people started arriving at 3am+ (who were Malaysians too!). We formed a big gang directly in front of the door and blocked some really rude people, which are the majority, from cutting queue! ^^ v

*fast forward*

Booking an air ticket with low price was "exciting" as well, there weren't many cheap and comfortable flights available, so at one point I thought all the tickets were sold out. After refreshing the Emirates webpage, which is famous for it's fluctuating flight seats availability and price, countless time, I was able to book a nice one, ignoring the 10-hour transit I had to endure in Dubai airport...

I'm really thankful to be home, and I truly appreciate this limited time when I couldn't care less about studies =p

Hehe sorry for the lack of photos in this post, would try my best to post more pictures next! =)

Stronger (Acoustic version)

Original version

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me This is gonna make you stronger

The Last

It's has become sort of a habit to post it, so it'd be weird not to this time, because this is the last time already...


Trailer of Deathly Hallows 2! =D 


(watch on YouTube for HD)

Looks epic, I'd say, and I'm totally unbiased, hehe. I want to watch in 3D!!


And I so so sooooo want a copy of Empire Magazine Harry Potter Ultimate Celebration edition (http://www.empireonline.com/harrypotter/) !

A good week indeed

5 busy weekdays have passed and ended (almost) with us getting an internet connection at new house finally! The technician arrived at my doorstep while none of us were at home and I was actually sitting for a test, so I had to torture my under-exercised muscles to sprint back home, which was only 5 minutes away if by foot, to make sure we're getting this internet not any other time but this very day! *speaking with desperation*

Last Sunday was really fun. I joined a group of church friends on a picnic trip to Karlstejn, which is a town about 45 minutes train from Prague and is famous for its castle. It was really good to go out with a new group of people (plus a few close friends in the group =p), though I didn't really talk much. (note the word "much", cuz I certainly DID talk to them)

*pictures says louder than words*

crazy people =p 

the castle

there are some models behind

the Malaysians, hehe

picnic = foods + games + spiders crawling beside you

Speaking of it, I find my skill to chat with acquaintances really terrible. The conversations usually start with - 

"Hi! How are you?"

"Great, thanks! How about you? How was your week?"

"Well it was okay/tiring/good.. how about yours?"

"......"

Within 10 sentences it ends with an awkward smile and one of us turning to someone else to repeat the same things. =.=" Sometimes I'd love to get to know new friends, IF I get pass this awkwardness and manage to extend the exchange of sentences beyond 20. 

Anyway, another exciting stuff that happened this week was the Physiology lab on Tuesday. I don't mean to sound cruel and inhumane... but, it was the first time I cut open a living abdomen till the intestines were exposed and it was the first time I performed stitches to close a wound... on a poor rat. May I be excused for feeling excited despite the fact that... we were performing experiments on a living organism capable of feeling pain? It's really a mixture of feelings. And, the speed of the intestine peristalsis movement made us go (o_O). 

Besides this, I was also having labs of Microbiology 5 mornings this week. Despite being totally boring sometimes, it was fun growing the bacteria and testing the bacteria on our fingers and random places like the sole of shoes, door knobs, toilet.... really, you don't wanna know the results =p  Important messages to convey: dry your hands with towels/tissue everytime you wash with gel, don't leave them to dry in the air; and bring solid soap but not shower gel to bathe before entering a swimming pool... =) Today's lab ended with a highlight - smelling the smell of anaerobic bacteria after being grown in the culture for 48 hours, which smelled like.... well, you-know-what, and then we evacuated, according to the professor who kindly showed me the culture quite close to my nose. 

After a long absence

The sun is shining bright and the cool wind is blowing, people walking or simply sitting in the park and you see people wearing sunglasses everywhere... spring changing to summer? 

March was nothing much to talk about, as far as I remember. And at the end of March, my two housemates and I moved to a new apartment with nice interior and very strategic location! It's within walking distance (10 minutes at most, if you take your own sweet time walking in the warm sunlight) to most of our classes and lectures. The arrangement with the owner of the first flat we liked the most didn't go well, and this one took us quite some time/effort/compromising to come to this decision, but I'm really thankful for this choice made! Can't complain about it! =D (see? things didn't turn out as I wished for a good reason...) 

Anyway, after we moved, began the week of tests marathon. Actually one of them was really extremely minor but still we had to study just in case... 

Despite having been living in this new flat for 2 weeks and 2 days, we still haven't had an internet connection. First week after we moved we all were busy with tests, then the arrangements made this week weren't so efficient. Really really hope we'll get an internet as soon as possible! But thank God I still have my phone to keep up with emails and updates =p 

There's a famous quotation from a senior here: "When you see the trees green and the flowers blooming, it's time you start studying" (credit: wise senior, hehe) *looking out of the window* >.< It means it's about now. In less then 2 months the exam period will start. Time just wanna fly when you wish it'd go slower, doesn't it?

Till then. =)

Messy Business

We were created by God for relationships, with Him and with each other. The greatest commandments are all about relationships, but relationships are messy and hard. 


For me this statement is hanging. The commandments are supposed to be enough? It's one thing knowing, the other doing. 


We are told to love. How??


Patient and kind. How?? 


Not jealous. How?? 


Do not demand our own ways. How?? 


Forgive. How?? 




EXACTLY how?! 

Firework

Couldn't help liking the lyrics ever since I heard a cover version of Katy Perry's Firework. 


By Katy Perry:





(I prefer) The cover: 

Firework-01

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

Drifting through the wind

Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin

Like a house of cards

One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep

Six feet under scream

But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you

Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light

And let it shine

Just own the night

Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework

Come on show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework

Come on let your colors burst

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"

You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space

You're original, cannot be replaced

If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed

So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow

And when it's time, you'll know

... ... 

Skiing experience *updated with photos*

Skiing wasn't exactly on my to-do-list in Europe. I hesitated for quite some while when my friends asked me to join. It sounded more like something for those adventure-lovers, and I don't really enjoy adrenaline-pumping activities most of the times (there're exceptional cases once in a while of course). Somehow I signed up for the course, simply because I had no other plan over the holiday and I looked at it simply as a special experience I could only have while I'm still here studying. 

The first few days were crazy. Freaking tiring! My hand muscles were aching so much by the end of the first day. I was having problem standing properly on the icy ground (be it a flat ground or a slope), so I had to depend on my poles to support my whole weight. It was extremely difficult to move around in those bulky and heavy skiing boots and skis. I never knew it was so difficult to walk when my ankles were unable to move at all in those boots! And a slight movement could potentially send me flying uncontrollably down the slope! Frankly, it was SCARY. 

I was really discouraged by the end of first day, being unable to move at all, or slipping down with no control whatsoever on the icy slope earlier that afternoon, but thank God things got better in the following days of the course. The teacher decided to move us back to a safer and easier place to practice basics first (to the dislike of the adventure-lovers I suspect), and in the last few days, it was snowing so the snow were soft and better for skiing, compared to the slippery icy slopes we had in the beginning of the course. Not to mention, the teacher was nice and patient with me, especially when some fast learners already can manage on their own, so that the teacher could pay more attention to help me improve. She also made us do some funny movements, like, spreading our arms like aeroplanes while skiing down (to help us develop balance and improve turning actually), skiing in a group in the form of a snake, synchronization (a group of people turning left and right with the same rhythm), skiing down holding the waist of the person in front of us etc. Imagine a group of grown-ups doing these among children... because that's how it was, haha.  Honestly, successfully performing a synchronization was really satisfying! =D 

the beginners/children slope we learnt skiing on (p/s definitely not the steep one in the background)

As I said, I was in fear sometimes. To be frank, it was awful listening to others' excited discussion about their progress when I was feeling discouraged and stupid. I guess it's kinda hard to resist this at exciting times like this? However, I learnt that this course meant something equally important to me as to learning the skiing skills, which was learning to push myself downhill no matter how scared I was. It wasn't a blind tactless desire to try something stupid... it was about conquering the fear, knowing that it was all in my head, not letting fear stop me from developing what I could achieve. For me, this was a greater achievement than speed-skiing downhill. 

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it. ~Mark Twain

(Hm, ok it sounds a lot more serious than it really is, haha... more precisely, "fear" should be replaced with "the state of being fully aware of the potential dangers") 

Speaking of speed, there was some disagreement about it. Just like some people like to speed on highway, while others enjoy the scenery by the roadside... some of us enjoyed the high speed downhill, while others enjoyed the moderate speed and the feeling of achievement when we could make nice turns. (they purposely didn't turn much to increase the speed...) . However, a little bit of "accidents" did add spices to this trip, for example, I bumped face-on to a cushion and the guy working there just couldn't stop laughing at me! >.< Being unable to control my directions, I also crashed into the teacher once, and caused a little girl to fall because I bumped into her, hehehe... oh ya, and another little boy because he was trying to avoid me, lol. 

One of the easiest main slopes. Don't be fooled by this pic, according to my friends who progressed well enough to try this out, this was no joke. Better basics before you trade an adventure with safety... 

I fell down lots of times during this whole course, both while I was skiing and while I was on the lift. The lift was none like others. It was a little round "plate" attached to a string (nono it wasn't the comfortable seats you saw on tv), and we were basically being pushed by the "plate" on the buttock up the hill. If I'm not mistaken, all of us except the teacher fell at least once while on the move on this lift. In contrast to other skilled skiers who could stand comfortably on it (and waving and talking on the phone and doing all sort of things), a second of losing focus, I had my skis crossed or out of the "track", then I fell ==" 

In short, my half-hearted participation of this course turned out to be a truly amazing experience! 

Photos of me (exclusively for family =p)
Photos of everyone on Facebook 1
Photos of everyone on Facebook 2

Changing template?

I like my blog a lot. It's like having my own little cozy room - a virtual one. 


However I admit that I have a tendency of getting bored with its template. The idea of changing it again (I've lost count of how many times I've changed) has been there for quite some time, but everytime I browsed through the many sites offering free templates, I couldn't find one I liked very much. Am I too picky? 


One of those that caught my attention:

It's quite similar with the current one, I guess it's pretty obvious now what my liking is. I'm also thinking of trying something more "professional" style and serious, for example: 

... but I know only too well my writing is anything but "professional". =p My posts would seem awkwardly out of place on this kind of layout, wouldn't they? 

Besides, many of the templates are nice, but few would match my "sub-title" of this blog, which I don't intend to change yet: per aspera ad astra . If you're wondering what this means, it's a Latin verse meaning "through obstacles to the stars" - pretty much what I want to talk about! My ups and downs along this journey, may it be journey of growth, of faith, or medical studies and many more. Because of this, one of my previous template is still one of my favourites till this day:

There's a star across the sky. Astra. 

Conclusion is, I'm not changing the layout now =p. This one suits my writing, don't you think so? =) 

CNY in Prague

Chinese New Year means 3 things to me: holidays, foods and family gathering. 


The first doesn't apply anymore. Being in an European country, CNY is just another day. Most of us (the 2nd years) are lucky that we coincidentally have holiday during CNY if we happen to have done our only exam in winter semester. Next year this time (if by God's grace I'll be in 3rd year)? I'm probably stressing out for exams... and we're gonna have 3! 


Foods. Arrrrrrrr.... I miss the foods! The cookies and nuts! Maybe except pineapple cookies, I never really liked them. But I'm definitely missing the cashew nuts, pistachio (favourite~), and the peanut- and almond-flavoured cookies! Oh ya, and Shandy.... Just a note, they do have the nuts here, just that I think they're kinda expensive, hehe, and it's different eating it at home and here! =p 

*drooling* maybe I should just go get them from Tesco...

Family gathering. This, means a lot. I miss the time when we were enjoying the magnificent "free firework performance" by some rich families in neighbourhood, hang out till midnight, planned to stay up the whole night (守岁) but failed anyway, talking and eating (particularly important XD). watched silly funny movies together, played games, chatting with xiao qin till late at night, seeing uncles and aunties and cousins from other places... 


INSTEAD, what was I doing this CNY? 


Apartment-hunting. I sacrificed this chance to go back for CNY because of this. *Threatening* This has better turn out well!! Spent 1 week plus sending email and email, answering calls like a businesswoman. Finally found a satisfactory one but nothing is confirmed yet. Can't wait to settle it. 


Lazying/tidying and cleaning/cooking/sleeping/playing games/watching series and movies/facebook-ing.


Read novels. I can't believe the last time I read a novel was....... can't remember already. It used to be one of my hobbies! Anyway, both "Diary of a Young Girl" and "The Shack" were good readings. Now I'm feeling a little bit bored because I have no other fictions to read. Maybe it's time to start with non-fiction. 

Had nice dinner and played games at friends' house. Once. 


We had a dinner at an officer's house on "CNY eve". Foods were good, and we had a great time watching an old Cantonese movie from 80s about chinese vampires (those jumping around). It was silly, but hilarious anyway, so who cares about its silliness, XD. And he gave us an angpaos! 

lau-sang, there were many more dishes!

According to plan, the rest of the holidays would be spent on a hill for skiing course and settling issues about apartment. Hoping everything goes well!

The Diary of a Young Girl

I've just finished reading the novel "The Diary of a Young Girl" by Anne Frank. Since young I've heard about her stories, but I've never read the diary, neither have I paid much attention to this part of the human history.  

During the last Christmas holidays, I went to Amsterdam, not knowing this was where she was hiding out (opps, poor historical knowledge) until we got into casual conversation with a friendly lady on the train, where she told us she was bringing her children to Anne Frank Museum Amsterdam for educational purpose. So we went to the museum in spite of a queue, and left the museum heavy-hearted (at least I was). However, it certainly served its educational purpose of revealing a bit of history about this horrible discrimination against Jews during the World War II, from the eyes of a young victim. The tour itself was fascinating and thought-provoking. It was amazing that there was such a big space hidden in the building, which could accommodated 8 people for 2 years and a month. At the same time it kept me wonder what it must have felt like, being the subject of cruelty and being forced to be hidden in a confined space for 2 years. 

Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam 

Reading the diary was just as thought-provoking as walking the same rooms Anne Frank and other inhabitants have walked those years ago. 


She was strikingly normal. A normal teenager with lots of emotions (well, a little bit more thought from me because of this...), had times of joy, doubts, anger, hopes and loneliness. Had troubles with relationships with family and fellow inhabitants of the Secret Annexe (as she called the hideout) - the typical inner struggles. She had times when she was proud, and times when she regretted. 

Despite of the war going on, the cruelty being forced upon them, they had hopes and dreams. They (especially Anne, since it's her diary...) dreamed about the outside world, they made plans of what they were gonna do after the war, for eg. Anne wanted to be a journalist/writer, to do something great so that she could "live even after she dies"; her sister Margot wanted to be a nurse or doctor. Like any girl (i think), she hoped for her true love, had ideas like "not being just a housewife" later in her life. I was struck by the fact that the phrase "after the war ends" appeared lots of time in their conversations. 

I don't want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to people, even those I've never met. I want to go on living even after my death! And that's why I'm grateful to God for having given me this gift [writing], which I can use to develop and to express all that's inside me!

It was particularly upsetting to read that, in just the 2nd last entry of the diary, they were so excited about the optimistic turns of the war. In July 1944, she was feeling happy about the possibility to go back to school in October 1944! I couldn't help but wondered for a moment on the most useless question in the world -- "what if...?" And you know what? She died 1-2 months before the camp she was imprisoned in was liberated. 


Another thing that drew a lot of my attention was her relationship with her mother Edith Frank. In most of the diary she criticized her mother, but yet when I read more online about their lives after the diary ended abruptly on 1st August 1944 (they were arrested on 4th August), it was known that in the concentration camp Edith Frank starved because she gave her foods to her 2 daughters, and eventually died of starvation and exhaustion. And the thought that came directly was "omg I hope they did make up in time! it was really all misunderstanding!!" *sigh* 

Unlike any other documentary, Anne Frank's diary lends people a lens to view her world and the sufferings due to the Holocaust from her point of view. And imagine, this is only 1 girl out of millions, 1 diary preserved out of all others which are lost. 

Bitter or better?

This coming exam is really bringing back some unnecessary memory of bitterness and resentment, doubts that I'm simply not good enough, fear of failing again... well you name it. 


But something just came at the right moment. No I don't mean to say my mood just switched 180 degrees in millisecond. It was just one of the whys answered. And I hope this answer stays in my mind long enough. 


 ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


James 1:2-4 (Niv)


Trials are to make me better, not bitter. Bitterness, leave me alone!


Okay time to start studying...

99% is not 100% ...

Do you know sometimes I struggle with "ya i know! really! ... ... ...  but i need to be 100% sure!"? I'm not a risk taker.

It's like everyone who has tried a new handphone tells you it's the best phone ever but you still want to go to the internet and search for the specifications before you sure it's the phone you want.

Ok, that was a lousy example. 2nd try...

When I'm studying, I might come across a sentence which reminds me of another fact, for eg. fact A. I'm pretty sure it's correct, but i still wanna flip the books and find the exact sentence that tells me I'm absolutely right about fact A.

Sometimes knowing is not enough for me... I want to be sure. They're not quite different but not totally the same as well, for me.

This becomes particularly disastrous when it happens in situations such as  "Ya I know you meant something good (by doing/saying that just now).... but, hm... can I just make sure? To be sure that I'm right about thinking you meant it good?" 

I know it takes a lot of patience to endure being doubted by someone you hope/expect to have known you enough to trust you... until that someone finally learn to trust, one day >.< 

I think I'm the kind of person who wants things to be REALLY clear.. meaning I don't normally classify 99% as a fact. I realize I use a lot of "maybe", "probably", "I guess" and "I think so" in my conversations. Most of the time I know that what I'm saying is 99% true, but I just want to leave a bit of space for any turn of events or possibility of me being wrong (the remaining 1%). If it's possible I normally would prefer a straight-forward discussion for any existing question rather than settling with assumptions (even good assumptions...) because assumptions can never be 100% =p

*copy and paste from a friend because it's too difficult to find words to describe such weird personality =p* u want clarification and clear cut decisions that will give u clear cut results or rather commitment... a straight to the point person? but yet still have room as u r a thinker?

I wrote this confusing blog post sincerely hoping that anyone who might have become a victim of my recurrent (and-almost-always-proven-wrong-later) doubts would find the strength to forgive me and pray that I will learn to trust my true friends correctly and more importantly, to trust God completely. =D 

random post on a not-so-random day

Two occasions are overrated - new years and birthdays.

New year. After the fireworks, the screams (not by me), the "wow it's a whole new year" moment, the resolutions, we're all left to continue the journey like we did last year. For example, I just spent the first day of 2011 trying to force my lazy and rusty brain to remember Physiology for a test coming up on Tuesday. I'm not complaining, but merely stating the fact. After all, it's time to be back in actions, living a life with purpose =p. Conclusion: the existence of new years is just to make marking the days/dates easier.

Birthdays. Simple- they're happy days when unhappy things like to happen on/near to?

Anyway, I miss the days when I could sleep at 12 midnight and wake up at 6 or 7 almost everyday, then felt happy when I could deliberately sleep for 1 more hour during weekends (minus feeling guilty because I overslept by half an hour or finished my dinners 15 minutes later than planned). Discipline is good indeed, if it's not driven by excessive stress.