Ben will be 18 months old next week.  In my mind, I pictured 18 months being the distinguishing age between “baby boy” and “big boy”.  I mean, a little “big boy”, but you know.  And in a lot of ways I was right.  And in a lot of ways I was wrong.  Just like everything about parenthood, which I’m now used to and fine with.

For the last few days, Ben has been full of 18 month old spirit.  Which is to say, he melts down fast and recovers never.  There are a lot of interesting behaviors wrapped up in that statement; suffice it to say I have been pioneering a whole new frontier of childhood this week.

I remember reading advice from Marjorie Pay Hinckley: “I tried hard never to say “no” if I could possibly say “yes”.  I figured I wouldn’t have to call upon that nugget until my kids were a little older.  But in between deep breaths this week, I felt myself whispering “Say yes when you can.  Say yes when you can.”

And when that mantra needed backup, I remembered the gem I picked up from a friend as she nonchalantly commented about the general woes of motherhood, “You just pray every day that you can enjoy them, right?”  And with a knowing smile I nodded, knowing that actually, I had never prayed to enjoy Ben.  It came naturally, and if it didn’t, I needed to pray for more… energy? skill? patience? good behavior (from one or both of us)?

So I’ve  exhaled a handful of “Please, let me enjoy him.” (Plus a few “…and let him enjoy me“, for good measure.)  And this afternoon, after explaining to the blue-eyed boy, who had held his shoes and jacket by the door and howled for what I’m sure was hours but seemed like a lifetime, that it was just too cold and rainy to play outside, I was given a sudden stroke of brilliance.  Cancel everything.  Turn off the oven.  Change plans.  Say yes to playing, and enjoy him!

We threw a few necessities in a bag and took a long, soggy drive to the nearest indoor mall.  We played and played and played. We ate our paper bag dinner in the food court.  We rode in the glass elevator.  And mommy even got a little window shopping retail therapy.  We thoroughly enjoyed each other.  And when we got home, Ben went right to bed, and my heart was so full I didn’t want to leave his room.  So the advice must be working.

Charlie Brown on Halloween

I’ve been so reflective this week.  I keep thinking “a year ago I was here”, “a year ago I was doing this”, “a year ago I was thinking that”.  Will every November 5th be as sentimental?

Ben is a one-year old!  He has been nothing but pleasant lately.  The other night I put him to bed and immediately grabbed my journal so that I record this special, blessed time.  Sometimes it’s hard to say goodnight to him because it’s been such a joy being with him all day!  This of course isn’t every moment of every day, but I feel grateful that it’s the overall gist for us right now.

For Ben’s birthday we had a few friends over and had cupcakes and ice cream.  We knew he had no idea what was going on, so we kept it simple and fun.  We gave him his first taste of cake, and here’s what we got:

Ben is crawling, babbling, standing up with support, sleeping, clapping, and eating wonderfully.  He is 22 lbs. 12 oz. (50-75%), and 29.5 inches (25%).   And we still just can’t get enough of him!!

We got to spend a week with the Schow family in Disneyland.  It was as magical as I dreamed it would be!  I am lucky to be part of a family that could make ANY place the happiest on earth just with their presence!

In other news, Ben is 11 months old!  He continues to be a very laid back, happy baby.  He’s a great sleeper, a cooperative eater, and just a lot of fun to be around!  He has such an even temper and cheerful disposition, Brad and I joke that if only we could bottle it and sell it, our Happy Baby Potion would make us millionaires!  We love our boy!

Link to video

The local news cameras captured the end of the school day at my beloved Horace Mann Elementary. I loved getting a glimpse of the excitement!

I cried when I watched. I miss that building and all the people in it so much! I taught at Horace Mann, but I learned there too. I’m so grateful that it will always be a chapter of my life.

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loving: The Next Food Network Star, via hulu.  I rarely indulge in a TV series that requires weeks of committed following, but this show is an exception.  I like it a lot.

reading: A Lantern in Her Hand, by Bess Streeter Aldrich.  My beloved book club read it ages ago, and I was apparently too busy to read that month.  So I’m catching up now.  It’s a sweet story about a hard pioneer life, but sometimes the narrative puts me to sleep. I told Brad I feel like I owe it to this pioneer woman in the book, to finish her fictional story.  If she could homestead in a sod house on the plains of Nebraska, the least I can do is read about it.  Still, I feel like I might be one of the unfortunates that she loses along the trail.  There are so many other books I’d love to be reading!

waiting for: lower temperatures.  We have been quarantined against the heat for weeks, and we’re going a little stir crazy.  Just a walk around the neighborhood would be nice.

excited about: Brad’s day off tomorrow.  It’s been a long month!

missing: my sister.  For some reason I’ve really wanted her around lately.  Well, the New Year will be here before you know it, and she will be home from her LDS mission in California!  I can wait, I guess.

trying to: find a swimsuit on clearance.

working on: getting our cars registered in the Great State of Missouri. BO-RING.

enjoying: lots of play time with Ben.  He really loves to be entertained by his momma these days.

using: Zout on all our laundry. Turns out it is a miracle on baby food stains!

wearing: my Target Kimono Maxi Dress as many days a week as is socially acceptable.  So comfy!

planning: to find some kind of music teaching opportunity.  I miss it.  I want to fit it into my life.

singing: “Once There Was a Snowman”.  Not just to summon cooler temperatures, but because I have conditioned Ben to open his mouth for baby food at the end of every melodic line of that particular song.  I know you’re doubting the truth to this, but you wouldn’t doubt if you saw me feed him.  It’s for real, people.

needing: a hair intervention. And a pedicure.  I’m not always into pedicures, but my feet are sandpaper blocks and my toenails are old relics of Spring’s trendiest polish color.

learning: so much about myself.  I have a lot of growing and changing to do.  So much room for improvement.

listening: to conference talks.  What was once a work commute ritual is now a breakfast ritual, and I’m glad I found room for it in my day.  It changes my outlook and makes me feel good!

wishing: that “easy” tasks were actually easy.  Why is it that every item on a to-do list has 8 hidden items embedded into it?  It’s never just a phone call, or just an email, or just a signature on a form.  It’s always more, and it’s never easy.

praying for: calm words, patient thoughts, a forgiving heart, modest behavior, and grace under pressure.

dreaming of: oddly enough, a big spider.  Last week I found a big spider on the ceiling, and after cowering in fear for half an hour, I finally vacuumed it up.  It has been making cameo appearances in my dreams ever since.  I’m serious about this.  Is the spider appearing to me in visions so that I will soften my heart and spare its little eight-legged friends, I wonder?  Because that’s not likely to happen anytime soon.

On another note, raise your hand if you’ve ever been to Kansas.  …No?  Just me?  Oh. Okay.

(And there’s that Target dress.  Told you.)

Despite the sounds and facial expressions, Ben is actually having a great time in this video. It’s his new way of playing with his toys. I hope it’s just harmless rough-housing, or he may likely love his giraffe Sophie, quite literally, to death.

I love the Milwaukee Art Museum. I’ll miss the beautiful building overlooking the Lake Michigan, and I’ll miss exploring with other museum-lovers. What a beautiful place!

We live one street north of the most charming street in Wauwatosa.  It is quiet, tree-lined, and neighborly.  Young families and old couples are always outside, riding their bikes, manicuring their lovely lawns, tending to their beautiful flowers, or walking their well-behaved dogs.

It is exactly one mile from our house to the end of this road, decorated with 75-year-old lannonstone houses. At the end of the road is a ramp.  And at the top of the ramp is a parking lot.  And in the parking lot is the library.

Oh, I will miss my walks, runs, and bike rides to the library.  A refreshing outdoor jaunt rewarded with a new book at the end.  What could be better?

Ben is 6 months old!  He falls in the 25-50% in everything.  Except adorability and sweetness.  He’s off the charts in those two.

Ben is still a great sleeper, and loves smiling and laughing.  Now that he knows he can roll, he sees no need to do it on a regular basis.  He likes his cereal, which is a mystery to me, because I’m pretty sure it tastes like cream of packing peanuts.  He is starting to really love his toys and his motor skills are improving all the time.  He’s a pro at plucking out his pacifier, and he’s still learning how to replace it.  The whole family will be relieved when the pacifier replacing is mastered.

He’s finally starting to use his pipes to let us know when he’s not totally satisfied with a situation (luckily he’s easily pleased).  Gone are the days of our passive, patient baby.  Still, Ben is amazingly tolerant and laid back.  What a good natured baby we have!

Are you wondering about the helmet?  Ben was SUCH a great sleeper that he developed a pronounced flat spot on the back of his head.  Okay, honestly, it wasn’t just a spot.  His head was completely flat.  So, we got the helmet that is slowly but surely correcting the brachycephaly (flat head) and giving him a nice round noggin!  He’ll have it on until the beginning of July.  He doesn’t mind it at all, and I’m getting used to maintaining a child AND a helmet.  It’s a bit of a hassle, but we’re quickly adapting our routine!

We love our little guy so much!