my forever loves

Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.

This chapter is closed; the growth was worth the struggle.

 

what's your story?

Opportunity called life

we are the schurings

We are on a journey in life - learning and growing. 

It's not what we envisioned, but it's still ok.

2015 Summary

2015 was like every other year.  Life provided a variety of experiences; birthdays, anniversaries, parties, home improvements, hikes, races, football games, trips, volunteering, new friendships, family visits, new pleasures, played with new toys, and discarded things that no longer served us. Along the way, there were tears and smiles. 

2015 was a year of reflection:  Unconditional Love, Patience, Perseverance, Loyalty, Change, Perspective, Gratitude, Growth, Mistakes, Forgiveness.

2015 Highlights: standup paddle boarding, kickboxing, cross-country skiing, body piercings, Trivia Crack, Words With Friends, departure from the LDS church.  Took trips to Winthrop, WA, OR, ID, MT, CA, TX, AZ, Malaysia, and Whistler. Volunteered at Tempe Ironman, Whistler Ironman, Obliteride, Base to Space,  Day of Caring, and WE Day.  Participated in Ski to Sea, Rainier to Ruston, and Seattle to Portland. 

Our 14 in 2014

We contemplated whether we should take a ‘family’ photo this past year and/or write a summary letter.  We are very glad we did and found it therapeutic to reflect on the year.  Although we faced trials and challenges, we realized that our year was still very wonderful – because of so many good people in our life.  We are lucky to be a part of your lives.  There are too many people to mention, but we remember each of you and each act of love.  Thank you for every single moment this past year.  We are still blessed daily.

 

Memories:  We cherish the time we spent with multiple family members, especially those we had not seen in a very long time.  Thank you for visiting with us!

Meaningful:  We are so grateful for the many declaration letters provided to us back in February and March.  Thank you for all your amazing words, they mean the world to us!

 

Generous:  We have super-duper friends who are consistently lifting us up and praying for us.  Thank you for inviting us to spend time with you, participate in your happenings, and stay in your homes.  We are humbled by the thoughtfulness when you hosted us for date nights, dropped by for visits, brought gifts and treats, hiked with us, and took care of us!  

Firsts:  We experienced many new activities.  Troy free dived in the Blue Room on Oahu, Karaoke, and Hot Yoga.  Scheris volunteered with the Cedar River Salmon Journey program, got a mountain bike, and submitted a photo for the Selfie Exhibit.  Together we took a ride on the Mt. Rainier Train, attended multiple parenting seminars, tried indoor skydiving, caving, and found a new favorite restaurant Din Tai Fung. 

 

Football:  We watched every kind of football; high school, college, and professional.  Troy traveled to Kansas City to attend the Seahawks game with his Dad and brother.  He took pals to games using our UW Husky season tickets.  He was delighted when his friend surprised him with tickets to the Seahawk/49er game, 12 hours in advance.  We spent evenings gathered with couples watching games on TV and at the local high school.  Troy had a good time attending the Seattle Super bowl parade with his co-workers.

Notables:  We celebrated Scheris’ 10 years at Microsoft, Troy’s 2 years at Amazon, and adding another running race shirt to the collection. 

 

Refreshed:  We kept busy refreshing the entire house creating his and her offices, bathroom remodel, storm door addition, had a gigantic family tree mural painted in the front room, installed concrete trim in the yard, and began preparations for planting of dwarf fruit trees this spring. 

Parties:  We enjoyed a number of fun parties in Seattle; including events held at Century Link (Clink) field and the Experience Music Project (EMP).

Venues:  We sang with Mötley Crüe at White River Amphitheater, Vampire Weekend at the Clink, Book of Mormon musical at the Paramount Theater, and Fleetwood Mac at the Tacoma Dome.

Travel:  We visited some new states.  For work travel, Scheris saw sites in North Dakota, Minnesota, Kansas, and Texas.  Troy flew to Missouri to spend time with family.

 

Getaways:  We snuck away for overnighters in downtown Seattle, Salish Lodge, Orcas Island, backpacking in the Enchantments, & Seaside, Oregon.

Vacations:  We officially vacationed in Hawaii and Mexico.  We love the sights, animals, flora, and adventures in the tropical climate.

Celebrations:  We made sure to celebrate important dates; Scheris’ aunt and uncle came over for the Super bowl, went to the spa for our 6^th anniversary, enjoyed Easter dinner with family in Chehalis, spent Mother’s Day with Scheris’ mom, Independence Day potluck and Halloween costume party with Troy’s co-workers, dinner for Uncle birthday, threw a party for Roxy’s 8^th birthday, ran a race for Scheris’ sister’s 23^rd birthday, treated ourselves on Thanksgiving to a Ferris wheel ride, spent Christmas on a hot sunny beach, and rang in the New Year with cousins. 

 

Survived:  Frankly, it is a miracle that we survived 2014.  We experienced multiple days and weeks with crushed hearts, feeling no hope for life, lost purpose for our futures and confusion from the cruelty that was nearly unbearable.  We have struggled to appreciate the trials presented in our walk of life, even when we know that many of you were enduring your own equally difficult challenges.  With reflection, we now see that much insight has been gained.  We have more compassion and less judgment toward others.  We are grateful for the learnings. 

Life is different for us now, but as Doris Day sings Que Sera, Sera in The Man Who Knew Too Much, we accept that the future’s not ours to see.  Maybe tomorrow, the earth is going to smash into a meteor, or maybe its not.  Life is this big fat gigantic stinking mess, but that’s the beauty of it (if you know what movie this quote is from, you should take a moment to call us and get your gold star, we’d love to hear from you).  Thank you for being you.  Thank you for loving us.  We hope you all find wonderful aspects to enjoy in 2015, we certainly are planning to!  We love you.
 

 

Schuring Family 13 in '13

As we step into 2014, here's a look back at some of our cherished memories from 2013.

 

 

 

1. We bought a grand piano.
2. Scheris' extended family gathered for two impromptu reunions at our home.
3. We celebrated our 5 year anniversary in Whistler.
4. Spent a day providing 38 random acts of kindness.
5. Joined Troy's parents for a 10 day Alaskan adventure.
6. Alyssa is now brace free; teeth and back.
7. Scheris traveled to Europe for a work event and stayed 25 days; England, Germany, and Spain.
8. Troy took up mountain biking.
9. Alyssa lettered in varsity after a hard cross country season.
10. Scheris' 19 year old cat went to heaven.
11. We connected with our high school classmates after 20 years.
12. Alyssa obtained her Lifeguard certification.
13. Troy completed his first year working at Amazon in downtown Seattle and is excited about the expansion plans.

 

Our backyard - through the years

Thanks to Troy's green thumb and diligence in our backyard, it has become a lovely place to enjoy!

This is what it looked like many moons ago.   

 And with some snow, it sure looked plain.

 Today, it's green and the birds are in abundance!

We're doing our part to grow old and have taken up bird watching. 

These are a few so far this summer. 

 

Crematorium Field Trip

Alyssa and I went on a field trip, here is her write-up and some photos! 

Recently, I had the opportunity to tour a Funeral Home in Longview, WA.  My mom has five relatives buried at Longview Memorial Park (LMP).  Through a series of interactions with staff worker Susan Sherwin, we were offered the chance to learn more about the behind the scenes.  A memorial park is designed to look like a park, with flat headstones and benches, making the place of the dead more obscure.   Cemeteries have upright stones and are easily identifiable as such.  We jumped at the unusual opportunity.  Susan was a wonderful hostess and tour guide, showing us the funeral planning process, end to end. 

We began the tour in the Funeral Home, learning what happens first when a person passes away.  One question people often ask when it comes to choosing a box for their dead is the difference between a coffin and a casket.  A casket has six sides and is the appropriate term used for the human burial vessel.  Whereas, a coffin has eight sides, resembles the human body shape, and is commonly referred to as what vampires sleep in!  There are many different options available when it comes to choosing a casket and customizing it.  They can be made from wood, metal, fiberglass, and as simple as press wood, or cardboard.  Corner ornaments or fabric inlays depending add variety and personalization to tell the story of the deceased. 

The dead have all sorts of ways to live on through family keepsakes.  Cremains are not only kept in urns on fireplace mantels, now there are locket necklaces made for carrying around the dead and other pocketsize mini-urns.  Cremains is the correct word for burned human remains.  We saw a variety of urn styles to choose from, all which can be customized or duplicated for multiple family members.  Families are able to pick a theme and carry that throughout the funeral planning process.  For example if the deceased’s name was Lily, a Lily flower can be used as the casket ornament, on the front of the memory book, used as the art work on the front of the funeral program, and even etched on the headstone which is what we did for our great aunt Lillie.  In Remembrance pamphlets are also an option and usually end up in old family bibles as keepsakes.  We have come across them in our family history efforts, as we perform a lot of genealogy work.  

Veterans are extended military privileges, paid for by the United States government.  This has to be arranged in advance of the person passing away.  They are given a time-lasting military headstone worth about $1400 and there are special ceremonies that honor the service person. 

At the Crematorium, we were introduced to Lloyd Smith, the man in charge of the cremation process.  You’d never know he was 72 years old because he is fit and healthy, which makes it easy to see his respect for the human body.  He even has workout equipment in his large workspace.  He showed us step by step how the entire procedure is performed.  First, the body has to be transported from the Mortuary which can be as simple as using a mini-van and a long cardboard box.  He is very precise in his tracking of information to ensure that he never mixes up personal information with the body he is working on.  He also tracks the time spent through the process and finds it interesting to see the average age of the bodies he sees, especially those that die from smoking.  When we arrived, Oscar, age 59, was in the chamber.  He died early in life from smoking and we discussed what a waste it was for a human life when it is preventable.  Mr. Smith opened the chamber door and we were able to see Oscar under the flames.  I didn’t want to look, but my mom did and said she was surprised to see that even after two hours, the skeleton was still in the shape of a human.  As the bodies move through the process, they carry with them a metal I.D. tag to assist in the tracking of the person.

The chamber is extremely hot, with two flames positioned over the sternum and the legs.  The optimum temperature is about 1,400 degrees, burning the body for 3 hours.  The mortician is on point to check all bodies for pace makers, but occasionally they miss the small device.  Lloyd double checks each body, as these are the one and only object that can’t be placed in the machine.  They explode and could damage or ruin the expensive machine.  It’s only happened a few times, but the boom is so loud, Lloyd ran for cover when it happened the first time. 

During the three hour process, Lloyd must use a long pole to occasionally stoke the fire, re-positioning the human parts under the flame.  Once Oscar was done burning, the cremains left were mostly just bone.  Despite the hot temperature, by divine design indeed, God made it so that our bones can’t burn, no matter how hot.  This is miraculous to me.  Oscar’s bones were moved to a long stainless steel tray to cool for one hour.  This allows Lloyd time to clean the chamber.  He is known for being very thorough in his cleaning process between each body, never mixing the cremains of two people. 

He prepared the chamber for the body of Agnes, age 94, who was overweight.  He mentioned that body fat doesn’t burn as nice and clean as muscle, making for a bit messier process overall.  When the cremains are pulled out of the chamber, what is left is mostly bone, still quite large and recognizable, and not fit for an urn or keepsake.  After they are cooled, they are put into a bone grinder creating the “ash” as we know it.  Often we think of cremains in an urn to be flaky like the ash of a fireplace, but in fact, they are more like chunky sand bits.   

We asked Susan and Lloyd what they desire for their body once they pass away as they are the experts dealing with the dead each and every day.  Surprisingly, they do not desire to be cremated and have pre-purchased space in the mausoleum on site.  This is a building that holds casket and urn sized crypts.  On the front of each crypt is a shrine-like display area which family members can update as they like with new photos, fresh flowers, or other mementos.  This makes the visiting experience more personal to the family members and allows them to honor their deceased, while being protected from the weather.

Recently, a family decided to cremate a body that was being held in the mausoleum for over 30 years.  The son wanted to have both his parents in an urn together and move them to his Seattle home.   Naturally, Lloyd would be able to open the sealed casket prior to burning both box and body.  Once a casket has had a body in it, it is of no use to anyone else ever, so they might as well burn it with the body inside.  We asked about what the body looked like after 30 years in an air-tight container.  He confirmed that the seal had preserved the body as expected and described the body as a skeleton frame with just a thin papery skin covering it, still completely intact. 

We enjoyed the tour with Susan and Lloyd very much.  It was wonderful to have such thorough and enthusiastic hosts.  It was a unique opportunity to learn from their experiences and work.  We have been invited to return and see the Mortuary, located just down the road from the park. Having shared this experience with my grandmother, she wants the entire tour.  It’s all very intriguing to my mother and grandmother.  I have to admit though, the question this whole experience has led me to consider is; Will I choose to be buried six feet under, placed into an above ground crypt, or reduce my body to the bone grinder?  I’m guess you now have the same question after reading about my tour!

 

 

Akasha turns 19 today

My cat Akaska, better known as KK, turns 19 today! 

 

Thirteen years ago, I went through a breakup and was so sad that I decided to get a cat.  I was all set on getting a kitten, until someone convinced me of the amazing bond that adult cats can give to those that rescue them. 

 

On 27 August 2000, I visited the Bellevue Humane Society and met Akasha, a 6 year old with black long hair.  We visited together and privately in one of the rooms provided.  She immediately allowed me to hold her and I knew instantly, she wanted a OUT OF THERE!  I was so happy to give her a new home and she definitely was very appreciative.

 

She weighed 8.0 lbs and they had on record that she had been born 1 May, 1994. Since then, her highest weight was 9.3 lbs in 2008.  Her last weigh in was down to 7.4 lbs.  She is amazingly healthy and has been a dream cat to own.  Below are just a few photos of our time together.

 

Christmas 2002

Apparently, KK has always been known for taking over dog's beds!

 

She celebrates the 2009 New Year with us.

 

 

Fun in the snow, at least for Roxy and I.

 

Exploring on her own.

 Incredibly lady like, sprawled out in front of the fire.

 

I have never seen her on the counters all these years. 

One day Troy and I were having a discussion about how I knew she would never do this. 

It was literally the same week, he captured this photo.

 

The real secret to her energy all these years!

 

 

 She loves living life on the edge.

 

 Still bullying big dogs for room on their beds!

 

Room for everyone on mom.

 

 So grateful for my 13 years with kk.
Thank you fluff ball for your love. 
I hope you live to be 20!  

My 38 Random Acts of Kindness on 3-19

 

If you know me well, you can confirm that my favorite thing to do on my birthday is to spend it completely alone without everyone asking me to do something for them. I love the day, I turn it into two days, take the days off from work.  I spend the night alone, exercise in the morning, sit in the spa, shop, eat lunch alone, turn off the phone, report to NO ONE.  Oh... how I love my birthday!!  This year was going to be amazing.  I had 5 full days off, with my husband and daughter gone for three of them, my father visiting me, oh how my birthday week was shaping up to be exactly what I planned it to be!   

Somehow, things started changing before my very eyes and the more annoyed I got, the more divine I realized it was getting.  WELL, OF COURSE, HE, always does this to me; goes messing up my plans... I know, I know... it's because He knows what is best for me, at that 50,000 foot level!

First, I found myself giving away a day off to a co-worker, then I had two friends want me to go up to the company store and get them software and then, a tearful father requested I spend time with his daughter who had recently shared some sad news, and then...well, I came across the below picture and quote. 

Well, if you know me well, you can also confirm that for 31 years I have adored my princess and the next thing I knew, I turned my selfish birthday alone into a selfless day of gifting.  

Monday night, I was calm, cool, and collective.  I had big plans, lots of confidence, love to give others, and not a care in the world.  I got this... no problem, this can be done in 18 hours! 

When the alarm went off 6 hours later, boy was I scared.  HOW WAS I GOING TO GET THIS ALL DONE? Thank you to Troy and Alyssa for helping me!  Here's the list.

Prepared a package for my husband to take to an Aussie co-worker, Venison, and Girl Scout Cookies.  He was about to have all four wisdom teeth taken out and will be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks.

Walked at 5am with Melissa, my near 8-month pregnant friend, to keep her motivated in her exercise.

Walked my husband up to his carpool pickup location.

Gave out a hug to Amber, Troy's carpool buddy and she's my friend from the former ward.

Tried to get my bosses to allow me to gift a vacation day or sick day to a team member, but after multiple email exchanges, they thanked me for the nice gesture.  (it still counts that I tried)

Gave a ski coat and ski bibs to the Howells and found out that Lydia had just broken the zipper on her coat and the timing was perfect.

Provided my 58 page PPT deck on my favorite hikes to Rachel who is organizing 5 hikes from April 4-May 18 that are family friendly. 

Troy, Alyssa, and I ambushed the Behunin boys with a nerf gun fight (I called ahead and planned it with Leslie).  THEY LOVED IT! 

Made a Take What You Need sheet and pinned it to a grocery store bulletin board; kindness, forgiveness, faith, strength, love, patience, etc.

Bought a bottle of laundry soap, prepared a note to accompany it, and left it at the Laundromat.

Left four snack bags with 4 quarters each and post it that said, random act of kindness and left those in different machines at the Laundromat.

Went to the party store, had 4 balloons filled with helium and finally found a family to give them to, not until 9:40 PM though!
 
Pick up someone else’s dog poo.

Left a note on a windshield.
 
Was a witness to a car accident and drove around the block before deciding to go back to the scene and give both drivers my card.  The insurance agencies already phoned me for my recorded statement.  The silver truck and the green SUV, turning to pull over after the accident. 

Gave a neighbor, Samantha, a ride home from the bus stop and saved her the walk in the rain.

 

Went to the company store and purchased software for a friend and delivered it as a gift (he still came over and snuck a check under my welcome mat – we said we wouldn't cash it, but then they  threatened us with cash, if we didn't... FINE, you win Kimball, but I still tried).
 
Was leaving the gun store with a box of heavy ammo, when the FedEx man walked through the door with multiple packages.  As he was struggling, I ran for the door in my stilettos no doubt, and tried to assist him with the door.  He also tried to assist me as he saw my big box of ammo and then he dropped boxes doing so.  We both had fun with it as we tried to help each other and I got his arms all loaded again with packages! 

Gave an IOU “one organization of your choice” to friend, who says she like my organization skills and would love to have some paperwork of hers organized into a binder for saving and easy viewing... and now she says, the offer is good enough.

Saved up a month of Zip Fizz capsules and mailed them off to my cousin Scheris and her husband Larry in Arkansas who wanted to use them for a project in the garage. 

I took a picture of this encounter; while driving 5 mph over the posted speed limit of 50, I had two people who tailgated me for several miles.  I was happy and patient and didn’t think bad thoughts about them once; my random act of kindness to them; either my kind thoughts or maybe I just saved their life, in holding them back from speeding?!

Bought a $50 grocery gift card at QFC and left it for the cashier to give to the mom with a young child at the back of my line.  The cashier was making such a big deal about it that I had to leave in a hurry so as to not draw attention.
 

It was windy on Tuesday out in North Bend and garbage bags were flying around everywhere.  We chased one down, captured it and put it in the trunk for later disposal.

Drove to the Lewis' to drop off the balloons and noticed they left their car dome light on.  It was 9:40 pm, and they were glad to not have a dead battery the next day.

Gathered a few of my favorite stories, pictures, quotes for Jenessa, a young woman who is about to leave for her 18 month mission to Uruguay.  

Sent a bunch of photos over to Costco.com of happy family events from the past and wrote a letter to my sister who is in jail.  I am hoping she will be reminded that she has a good family that loves her and wants her back!

Gave Kate a ride to and from the young women’s church event. We SOOO owed the Farish's and every other ward family who usually drives Alyssa to Mutual each week! 
 

Left a $20 tip after we ate at my aunt's favorite Mexican restaurant.

Waved hello to Dick and Becky, the 80 year old couple that lives in my neighborhood.  They were out for a walk. 

Called my grandmother.

Made a new friend, Ben, at the gun range.

Mailed photos that I recently found and had mistakenly had possession of; for the past 10 years back to Cori.  

Left 5 snack backs with $1 bills and a post-it note, on 5 different vending machines – note said it was our random act of kindness. People who saw us doing it, just stared, and not smiling.  I think they thought we were weird.

While at the Covington library, I decided to pay my fine of $1.10.  We offered to make a donation or pay someone else’s fines.  You wouldn’t believe the hassle we got from the elderly lady at the counter.  I say hassle, only in that she wanted to offer us all these different ways we could donate the other $3.90.  It was interesting. 

Visited Jake and Ireland since we share the same birthday.  I wrote Jake a card about what a good dad he is to four children and what an important role he has to care for them.

Kyle and Roxann gave birth to Maxwell Connor Smith on my birthday, so I sent them a picture of the 3/19 club and $31.19 to spend on Max!

The most special part of my day was spending many hours with Christina.  We went to lunch and went shooting and talked a lot and I'll never forget my birthday with Christina.  Thank you girl!

In the evening when this random act of kindness challenge got a bit stressful due to time constraints, my daughter lost her brand new $175 mouth retainer; somewhere in the car.  We spent more than 30 min looking for it, delaying the acts of kindness.  I remembered to stay calm and polite as the clock was ticking and my plan was being affected and I was worried about both her situation and mine!

I will forever remember my 38th birthday and enjoyed this wonderful day.  I recommend that you do it at least once in your life. Thank you for all of you who touched me on my birthday!