Staying Pre-Occupied

The night the kiddos left we needed to do something to take our minds off our sadness and something that we couldn't have done with the kids.  We went to porcupine dam.  We took the raft and a couple of floaties and played in the water.  It was over 90 degress at home but in the water I was chilly. After a couple of hours we had our picnic in the back of the trailer then headed home to watch a movie. 

 Saturday we went to Bear Lake for the first time this summer.  It was THE perfect day at the lake.

 We've had a couple picnics in the park and done a little slacklining and....

 water fights.  We're trying to stay busy and do all the things on our bucket list.

My "Kids Are Gone" Project

It all started with something very innocent.  I was angry and annoyed about something when I walked past the front door.  I noticed the color of dirt and filth around the doorknob and was suddenly totally disgusted with it.  I've always hated the door and I really hate nasty dirty stuff.  So what does one do when you can't wash the filth off.  Well of course you rip the wood planks off the door!! That is indeed what I did.  Pried them each off.  Once off there where about 50 not so small nail holes in the door and pretty much the whole thing was covered in a layer of hard thick wood glue.  I looked up the era and style of my house to find doors that would fit with the house.  

 This was the look I decided I would go for.  I wouldn't have to replace the door, it could be done on both sides and I loved the color too.  Perfect!!

 I should've know better, things don't work out that easy. I filled in all the holes and starting sanding.  Apparently back in the day the glue was totally sand resistant.  I couldn't get it smooth.  You can't do a smooth door unless it's completely smooth.  Plan B:

It shows plain door and then paneled door, and look at that price!!  Perfect again!! NOT! The only wood we could find was almost 1/2' thick and it wasn't cheap.  I got it all cut and glued and nailed on and it was beautiful until I tried to shut the door.  I guess it weighed too much or something, it wouldn't shut properly.  After a lot of sanding it finely shut but not perfectly.  The next problem was that the doorknob screws weren't long enough.  Scott bought new ones and tried putting them on the doorknob broke plus the new screws still weren't long enough.  After almost 2 weeks with 2 holes in the door, no doorknob and the door screwed shut, we decided to buy a new door.  Also, I forgot to mention that in my destructive mood I also pulled off all the cedar surrounding the doors and the window.  I had a plan to fix those too but we didn't have the right equipment. For some strange reason my hubby didn't want to spend a couple hundred dollars buying the new equipment so I could do the project.  Yes, I know, I horrible person to be married to.  So, instead we hired someone to come install the new door and fix around the door and window.  I was a little worried while he was doing it.  The whole time I was thinking, I knew I should've done it myself.  I couldn't  have done it better and for a lot less money.  But in the end, I was wrong.  He did perfect and I love it! It's not the best picture but you can kinda tell the difference.

I took a before picture but can't seem to find it anywhere.  So I pulled this from a previous post. 

 The plan is to paint the whole that dark warm grey color and of course get new lighting.  I'm in love my new orange door.

Saying Goodbye

This is one of the hardest goodbyes we've ever had to say.  It's one of our shortest placements too, so I will admit it is a little strange. After doing foster care for about 13 yrs we've experienced something totally different  than ever before. I've learned many different things, some I like and some I didn't so much want to learn.  With every placement with children under the age of 3, it is assumed the foster family is open to adopt them if reunification is unable to happen.  This time they very much stressed that fact.  Like I've mentioned before, I thought we were all on the same page with it.  In most of our previous cases we haven't really given it a second thought.  We always worked really close with the birth family to help with the reunification process.  I've never really wanted to keep any of the kids in our care because I knew that their moms wanted them back.  They've never been my kids to keep, end of story.  This case has felt different from the beginning.  The kids and I all bonded very quickly to all three of these little people.  That fact is very unusual.  Usually someone doesn't like someone or just struggles with one of the kids.  Well, with this many kids we don't all fit in the suburban so I wanted to get a big ole ugly 12 passenger van so we could all go places.  I found one, it was a good price, in great condition, we looked at it and test drove it.  I dreaded driving the huge thing but thought it fit our needs perfectly.  Scott seemed very hesitant about buying the van. Later we discussed it and I realized that he wasn't so into the idea of us possibly adopting 3 kids, not that they are up for adoption now.   I was soooo sad.  I already felt like these were MY kids.  But I also know that both of us have to feel the same thing and we weren't even on the same book, let alone page.  After thinking and praying about it for awhile, I realized that it would terribly selfish for me to keep the kids in our family if we never intended to adopt them.  They would live with us for 9 months to a year and bond with us then have to move to an adoptive home.  That's horrible for them and for us.  I told the case worker how I felt and he agreed that it would probably be best if we moved them.  We did a week and half of transitioning with the new family and then they left on Friday, June 26.  I'm not sure why we needed to have this experience, maybe so we would have more compassion for  bio parents and/or other foster families.  Whatever the reason, I'm so glad that we got to love them for the short time that we did.  We've trying to stay positive about the whole experience.  On a positive note, it's great not having 4 kids in diapers any more!!!