Monthly Archives: January 2011

It’s no secret that society judges popularity by the number of friends you have.

Just pay closer attention the next time you are talking to somebody about Facebook.  One of the first questions they’ll ask is, “So, how many friends do you have?” – and then they’ll wait to hear the number so they can gauge if they are more ‘popular’ than you are.

And it is by this very definition that I can confidently say – I will never be popular.

It’s quality – not quantity – for me.

It always has been.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a very small bunch of really good girl friends.  And from this bunch, even fewer that I have let really get to know me for me.  These are the friends who need no explanation.  You know, the friends where all you need is a brief hesitation before you lie when giving your answer to, “How are you doing?” for them to know exactly what kind of support you need?  The friends who don’t care that you’re laughing at what could be the stupidist thing on earth – because they’re laughing even harder.  The same type of friend who knows that a conversation had over a Mocha Kahlua Mud Pie can solve any of the world’s problems.

Okay, so maybe not everybody knows the conversation and mud pie combination.

But, I am lucky enough to have a friend who is just that good.

It all started way back when we were both knee-high to a bullfrog.

Or, in layman’s terms, almost 29 years ago.

She and I lived on opposite sides of town.  We weren’t the same age.  We didn’t go to the same school.  We didn’t have the same friends.  We didn’t like the same boys.  We didn’t even have the same hair color – which may be a good thing since there was a time when she bleached her dark brown hair just to make it green!  We weren’t even in the same class at church.  Maybe all it took was the very fact that her mom and my mom would attend exercise classes together.  Or was it that my mom would attend the exercise classes that her mom would teach?  I don’t remember.

Then again, how could I?  We became friends long before my memory started working.

Anywho.

As different as we were, we were inseparable.

And for the many years that it was safe for any stranger to assume we were twins (fraternal of course), it’s surprising that we let life get in the way and have there be years between a phone call … or even an email.

Times where it was so easy to just pick up the phone became more and more of a memory … making each day going forward harder to pick up that same phone.

Then, just the other day, my phone rang.

This is a great feat in and of itself seeing how we need to be hovering over just the right patch of carpet, holding our phones in just the right way – all while standing on our heads – to actually receive a call in our home.  And since we’re no good at standing on our heads, our phones rarely ring.

But this night it did.

It was Sara.

I was nervous.

It’s been years since we last talked.  Quite literally.

Would it be awkward?

So much has changed.

Suppressing my desire to ‘screen’ the phone call – which I’ve mastered the art of – I answered the phone.

We talked for upwards of 2 1/2 hours – the longest either of us has spent on the phone since … well, I don’t think either of us has talked to anyone on the phone that long.  (With the exception of, perhaps, our husbands.)  Everything in our lives has changed since those many nights we would stay up talking about boys, tampons, Donny Osmond, and rotten ballet teachers.

Yet.  Nothing has changed.

There was nothing awkward about our conversation.  There was so much to catch up on.  I don’t know about Sara, but I didn’t even realize we had talked for as long as we had until we hung up the phone and I looked at the clock … and remembered what time we started!

The only thing left to say at the end of our conversation was our commitment to not let it go years again before we talked!

I’m lucky to have such a friend in my life.  Where years can go by and have it not seem more than 2 days when the phone is finally picked up.  Where no judgement is passed.  Where there are no worries of making sure you say the right things.  She just gets it.

She just gets me.

I’m lucky to have such a friend who called just days after the very thought crossed my mind of how I wished I could have such a friendship in my life again.

How foolish of me to think it was lost.