christmas games

In the spirit of Christmas (and because I'm still so busy that it's hard for me to blog as I should), I thought it would be fun to do a movie quote game for Christmas movies. And then I realized how few there were that are really popular, so I expanded it to include Christmas specials that are on every single year (hint hint).

1. You've got to excuse him, sir, see he just came to life and he doesn't know much about such things.

2. Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

3. Aunt Clara had for years not only perpetually labored under the delusion that I was 4 years old, but also a girl.

4. Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.

5. Girl: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.
Boy: What is it you want?
Girl: Real estate.

6. Aren't you going to laugh at my nose too?

7. He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then he thought of something he hadn't before! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more! And what happened then? Well, they say that his small heart grew three sizes that day.

8. God bless us, every one!

9. Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

10. We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.


I'm just barely making it in for the 14th, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Sheri at Shades of Pink!

Do we judge a movie by its players?

I was surprised to see that Mel Gibson's Apocalypto was the #1 draw in the box office over the past weekend. Granted, it wasn't up against a potential blockbuster like Casino Royale, but it still pulled in over $15 million. I'd take that, wouldn't you?

The movie honestly didn't appeal to me before Gibson's drunken and racial antics back in July, but the news and blogs were filled with people saying how they would boycott his work from now on. But some people obviously went to see it.

I asked myself that if the movie appeared remotely interesting to me in the first place, would I have still gone to see it? I have no idea. I see both sides of the argument and it honestly may come down to individual situation. On one hand, I do think that people that behave the way that he did back in July should be held accountable for their actions.

However, something else came to mind. You may or may not remember a few years ago when the Academy wanted to give director Elia Kazan an honorary Oscar for his work on films such as On the Waterfront and A Streetcar Named Desire. Many celebrities felt that this was dishonoring their profession, for Kazan was reputed to have cooperated with the House UnAmerican Activities Committee that resulted in the blacklisting of many in Hollywood. Others felt that the Oscar was to pay tribute to Kazan's work on film, not the man himself (which reminded me of a quote from Band of Brothers where he said "you respect the rank, not the man").

Did you see Mel Gibson's Apocalpyto (or do you plan to)? Why or why not? Is it possible to admire the art but not the artist?

pictoral weekend

I heard they were filming a movie in downtown Seattle over the weekend, so you know me, I had to check it out.

The working title is called The Battle in Seattle and it's about the 1999 WTO riots that many of you probably saw on the news, because the protests turned pretty violent.

It's a low budget independent, but has some recognizable names (some more than others) such as Charlize Theron, Susan Sarandon, Woody Harrelson, Ray Liotta, Michelle Rodriguez and Andre Benjamin.

This is a shot of the protestors getting ready to march. It was interesting because they were using about 200 extras to simulate 10,000 protestors on this particular leg of it.

Here's a shot of the directors trying to figure out what they want to do (which was how most of our time was spent -- watching them talk). The guy in the olive jacket in the middle is writer/director Stuart Townsend. He's mostly known as being Charlize Theron's boyfriend for the past few years, but he's also been in some films like The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Dorian Gray).





Most of the work was "extra" shooting, but they did have some principles on-site. In the center of the picture, there's Andre Benjamin who is actually in a turtle costume (what many protestors actually wore) and is drinking coffee underneath an umbrella. Michelle Rodriguez was also on-site and in that clump of people to the left of Andre, but she kept turning everytime I snapped a pic.

In this scene, Andre, Michelle and some other dude tell this group of protestors that are about a block away from the Space Needle that they are "needed downtown and to turn around and go back." And then they asked me to stop taking pictures.

Before that, I was in The Jingle Bell Run, er Walk. This is a shot of the start/finish because I know you all wanted to see what a shitload of people looks like in downtown Seattle in what is essentially our town square where the big tree is and all the parades go.

We were kind of slow walking the 5K (1 hr. 6 min.), but a lot of that was because I had a bum knee after falling down earlier in the week when I attempted to walk down one of our steep hills in my boots -- and in front of one of my co-workers. Yeah, I'm a graceful one.

My friend Vanessa was a sport to help faux pose for me to figure out if this guy's hair is for real behind her. What do you think? It reminded me of Frodo (click on it to zoom in).











So, I was at Target with my friend Tanya looking at Christmas cards when I suddenly hear this heavy breathing behind me. I turn around slowly and she's pressed the button to this Darth Vadar stocking, and his helmet breathing is the sound effect that it gives off. Yoda didn't make his own sound.

Now, I'm sorry but this is getting a little too geeky for me.

Fa-rah-rah-rah-rah-rah-rah

Sorry that I've been a little slow to get around to your blogs for the past week or so -- work's been ramped up again and then I've had stuff to do afterward or been too tired. Anyway, I got my tree last weekend and since it turned into a Griswald-style affair, I had to share.

I knew that I shouldn't have been so excited to get my tree for $21 at The Home Depot (last year's in Hawaii was about $90 for a 6 - 7 foot Douglas Fir). I needed white lights, only HD didn't have any. In fact, they didn't even have the empty slots or price tags to indicate that they ever had them in the first place. But, I was able to get a stocking for Kona.

Then we cross the street to go to Sears for lights, and I find them, only I realize that I might need more ornament hooks, since they tend to disappear as mysteriously as socks in a dryer. I cross the street to go back to HD and there were none (the HD in Hawaii went ape shit and had an entire section for Christmas, not half of an aisle).

Oh yeah, my friend, Mary said she had a tree stand that I could borrow instead of paying $34 for the one at HD. Remember that. It comes back to haunt me.

Then we go to Safeway by Mary's place (to get the stand) and they don't have hooks either ,but I get glue so I can write Kona's name on his stocking...only they have no glitter. Then, I go to Rite Aid and they have glitter and I decide to use paper clips if I need more ornament hooks.

Mary comes over and her stand is metal and with just four skinny legs, so I was a little concerned but she said she'd used it without any problems in the past, plus she's a civil engineer and I figure she knows this stuff (love ya Mare). We think we secure it and start to put on the lights....it falls toward me. We re-tighten the screws and continue with the lights... and then it falls again. We re-tighten the screws and continue with the lights and...surprise, surprise...it falls over again.

We decide we need to go to Fred Meyer at that point to get a damn stand, so we set the tree against the wall while I change clothes. I suddenly hear "Oh shit, it's falling" and hear it crash down...along with the water that was in the bottom (that was my dumb mistake). We clean it all up with about a roll of paper towels (and a million needles).

I ask them if we should really go to Fred Meyer or just go up to Target. They said that Fred is closer than Target, so we leave my house about 8:30. We get there and got distracted by shopping in the women's dept, only to realize that they only have $35 cast iron stands left -- but, they have ornament hooks!

We go to Target...and get distracted by shopping in the women's section, but they have a $13 stand! So, we finally get back to my place at almost 11 p.m. My friend, Vanessa, gets the call to pick up her dude from his wine party so she helps us put it in the stand. She says "it's kind of hard to screw" to which I had to retort "well, it's always the hardest the first time."

Meanwhile I turn on HBO and didn't pay attention, only to look over and see some crazy girl-on-girl skinemax action which made us laugh so hard that we were practically crying (because of what I'd just said). Mary stayed until about 12:15 a.m. b/c she got excited with the ornaments but then left and I stayed up until 1 a.m.

Now, why can't one store have everything I need for Christmas?!

I did Reese's stocking a couple of years ago (he's 4) and see how nice and pretty it is. I have no idea what the hell I did with Kona's.









Poor Kona (can you even tell that it says "Kona?"). I blame the glue viscosity.








Finished product with lights on.














Finished product with the lights off.














People keep asking me how the boys and I are doing in the weather, and we're great (I love bundling up over shorts and flip-flops). This was taken at the coast over Thanksgiving when it was rainy and in the high 30s/low 40s. The boys have no qualms about being outside, even when it was icy and snowy last week and in the 20s.





Good luck with your tree and shopping, and have a nice weekend! Did you get the movie quote in the title?

Rude, much?

There was a person in our office that recently left, and I swear, I don't think that I've met anyone quite like her. The first thing that freaked me out was when I was out to lunch with her and I saw her wipe her finger all along her plate...and then lick her fingers (slurping sounds included). She did this, even while having a conversation with our VPs. There are many more, but I won't bore you with the details.

My favorite, though, was the cell phone. She kept her Razor on a rope around her neck and nestled it in her cleavage. It kind of freaked me out when it rang because it was this lullabye-ish melody coming out of her breasts. She would take the phone out, WIPE IT OFF on her blouse, and then answer it.

But, then it occurred to me that perhaps even though my co-workers and I were bothered, perhaps it would not annoy others as much. After all, who really decides what is good manners and bad manners? Are there any absolutes that people should abide by -- or does it vary by culture, region, gender, age, etc.?

The Today Show did a report about whether people are getting meaner. They ran different scenarios in LA, Houston, Minneapolis and New York City. What was interesting is how in LA, there were two skaters that intentionally fell down to see if people would help them out. The girl was always helped, but no one even bothered to see if the man was okay. In Houston, it was an older lady trying to carry two full bags of groceries to her car -- maybe 50% of the people that passed her tried to offer help. In Minneapolis, it was a couple that had shopping bags drop out in the Mall of America and just about everyone that passed by offered to help them out (they were separated). In NYC, they had a woman walk around with her skirt tucked in to her underwear in the back to see if anyone would tell her. About half of the people did, but there were some that even just snuck up behind her and took a picture and then left without saying anything.

I thought it might be interesting to develop a quick list of things that I try to do to have good manners, and see how that aligns with your own ideals. Or, what are some things that aren't on this list?

1. When I'm driving and someone lets me in, I wave a "thank you."

2. When I drop off a friend at night, I wait to make sure he/she gets their front door (or if it's at their car, I wait to make sure the car will start).

3. I would've helped all the people listed in The Today Show scenarios.

4. I don't talk with my mouth full of food, but if it seems unavoidable, I either hold my hand in front of my mouth or my napkin.

5. I remember when my friends might pick up my cash shortfall or buy me lunch...and I pay them back or return the favor.

6. I don't walk in front of someone without saying "excuse me," and I happen to brush them, I say "I'm sorry."

7. I don't cut in lines, including those on the road.

8. When I'm out to dinner with a group, I remember that my $9.99 meal needs to include tax AND tip, and I don't throw down a $10 bill.

9. I'll tell someone they have their shirt tag sticking out of the back, but I won't actually go up and touch their back and turn it inside FOR them.

10. If I tell someone to let me know if I can help...I mean it.

We don't need Borat to tell us this...

I'm at a group dinner tonight for a friend's birthday. Girl #1 tells Girl #2 that she's originally from Queens, NY. Keep in mind that Girl #1 is Filipino and speaks with NO accent. Girl #2 asks her,

"So, you were part of the English as a Second Language (ESL) program, right?"

I think I had to tell myself to shut my own mouth because it was gaping open. Some times I just don't have the words fast enough. This was one of them.

Two bits

The lovely 3T posted about a project that Rachel over at Oh My God Y'all is doing for Christmas. She's planning to deliver 300 teddy bears to the Phoenix Children's Hospital on Christmas Day. So, she's collecting monetary (via Paypal) or teddy donations.

Click here to participate. You can even send her any bears that you or your kids may have outgrown that are still in good condition. I found some wholesale priced bears (as in under $5/piece) at www.msteddybear.com and had them shipped directly to Rachel. A friend of mine has delivered a dozen or so teddy bears to a local children's hospital every year, and he said you would not believe the expression on the kids' faces when they received such a kind gift.

Now, on to the regularly scheduled post...

I was talking to my friend, Dan, last night and he gave me permission to post this story. I have mentioned in the past, but I will bring it up again that Dan has muscular dystrophy. Here's what happened:

Dan: ...So, they can just call me the gimpy guy.
Me: You know, I don't really like that word.
Dan: You don't? What's the big deal?
Me: Well, people have used that word to describe Kona, and I don't like it. I think it's offensive.
Dan: Oh, well, sorry.
Me: No, you're allowed to say it because you describe yourself. It's like only Eddie Murphy can call himself the N-word.
Dan: Yeah, that makes sense.
Me: Besides, haven't you seen Pulp Fiction? It's kind of a creepy reference.
Dan: No, believe it or not, I haven't seen it.

Now, this is where I must take a commercial break because I know many of you are wondering how in the world I could be such good friends with someone that hasn't seen Pulp Fiction yet. Well, as much as Dan loves movies, he likes the kind that I often find questionable, therefore, he has missed many of the ones that society (as a whole) considers to be classics, like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and even The Godfather. One time, he invited me over for pizza and to watch something that he had on Netflix. The best of the bunch, as strange as this may seem, was Soul Plane. Horrible. Terrible. I want those two hours back. But, you know I love you anyway, right, Dan?

Me: You have to see Pulp Fiction. There's a gimp in the movie that's dressed up in all leather and is used as a sex slave for two men. That's what I immediately think about whenever I hear that word.
Dan (pauses): So...THAT explains some of the strange reactions that I've received whenever I've called myself that.

Thanks for the laugh, my friend.

being single-minded

I would imagine that most of us belong to a particular sub-sect of our culture that always begs the same question from just about everyone you know. For newlyweds, it's "when are you having kids?" For parents, it's "when are you having another?" For single people, it's "are you dating anyone?"

I fall into the latter category and I'm asked that constantly. And I have to admit that I ask that of my own single friends because it kind of seems like the easy way to make conversation. I even do it without thinking about it. One time, my friend Dan e-mailed me his diatribe of why single life is great and then I absent-mindedly asked in my next message if he's dating anyone. Add that to my list of really stupid things I've said to others.

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or have been married (or maybe a product of both), but I find myself in a position where I'm pretty damn picky. I already know what works with my personality type (even with the expected compromises factored in), so why waste the time on something that is most likely doomed to fail? I'm also beyond the point of crushing on someone from afar, and if there's no chemistry or one of us doesn't feel compelled to make the move, then I just move on.

One could say that my expectations are perhaps too high or maybe I'm a little too matter-of-fact about something that should be more emotional, but I think it's a matter of being realistic. If I know that a guy with certain characteristics is going to irritate the ever-loving crap out of me, then what's the point? Some friends of mine have mentioned that perhaps some of these characteristics can be "trained out" of them.

My counter points are not only that I don't have the time or energy to go through something like that (it didn't work the last time), but also that it's not really fair to expect a metamorphosis just for me when he may be a perfect fit for someone else. And after all, aren't we supposed to love the person for who they are today and not who you hope they'll be tomorrow?

It's a delicate balance between your own personal deal-breakers, yet also trying to be flexible and tolerant -- regardless of the issue. This just happens to be the one I'm dealing with right now.