Are You What You Read?

My brother gave me a book for Christmas. This is not unusual- it is an off year when I don't get a few books. The title of this book is Every Book Its Reader, and it was written by Nicholas A. Basbanes.

The focus of this book is to look at the influence books have on individuals and the world. And while reading it, I keep trying to apply what it says to myself. When you read author interviews, one question that often comes up is "What authors influenced you?" And they usually manage to come up with at least a couple, sometimes citing a long list. But looking at my life and thoughts, the only books I can say for sure have influenced me are the scriptures. I can, of course, name authors that I read a lot and like the work of- David Lubar, Orson Scott Card, Shannon Hale, and Cynthia Voigt come to mind. And there are many others. But how much does what they write influence my thinking or my writing?

At one point in the book, Basbanes mentions the books that one writer cites or alludes to in his work. And I definitely allude to books and movies. Just on this blog, I've mentioned The Giver by Lois Lowry, A Separate Peace by John Knowles, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling, and the movies Guys and Dolls, In The Good Old Summertime, and Kiss Me, Kate. And I remember using a quote from Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine in my journal once as a teenager, and I use references in conversation to books and movies that I am reminded of, or that make good examples of what I am trying to express. But when I use a book to illustrate a thought I have, does it mean that I got the thought from that book, or is it something that I would have thought anyway? I think most of the time, I just like the way they expressed the thought I would have had. And I am now reminded of a quote from You've Got Mail. And now I realize that I have quoted the very next line to express why I write this blog. Anyway, the first quote- "So much of what I say reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?" I wonder about that sometimes. And I think it doesn't really matter. At least when real life reminds you of a book, you know that somebody succeeded in representing reality in some way. And it means that at least I am experiencing life. Plus, having read about it before, I can have a better idea of how to best respond. Sort of like why they say we study history- to learn from other people's experiences. Right?

All that said, I really do believe that the things you read impact who you become. I just don't know how to measure that influence.

And in case you were curious, the other quote from You've Got Mail is, "I don't really want an answer. I just wanna send this cosmic question out into the void. So, goodnight, dear void."

One Little Word

If you do not want to know about the world in Lois Lowry's The Giver at this point in time you may want to skip this post.

Home Sweet Home

I never want to move in with my parents again. I am an adult, I have experienced life on my own, and I like a certain amount of independence. When I moved back in after a year in the dorms, I hated the feeling of returning to childhood. And I would hate it even more if I did it again.

The fact that there aren't a whole lot of people my age living in my parents' neighborhood doesn't help.

But the thought of never again starting to randomly break into song and dance with my sisters on a random boring afternoon or evening is unpleasant. I guess you do always have to give something up.

Additional Information

To clarify:

When I said I look forward to the day when some man does something sweet for me, I am not at all talking about spending a lot of money for me. I would like flowers, but don't demand them. Chocolates would also be nice, but I don't usually like a lot of candy. And if he spends too much money, I'll get worried about his spending habits and ability to stick to a budget. What I want is evidence that he has been thinking of me.

And about the opening up thing. I've always been sensitive. I feel things. I hurt. I cry. And I did that a lot when I was younger. But at some point in the past, I decided this was a problem, so I started building up walls to protect my heart. Because I don't like to get hurt.

Yeah, I know, that's just crazy. Who doesn't want to be hurt?

Anyway, I tried to make it harder for me to get hurt, and if I did get hurt, hard for people to tell. Which sort of goes along with the letting people in thing- if I don't let them in, it doesn't hurt as much if they do hurt me. And if I don't give myself away, it's harder for someone to know enough of me to hurt me.

Holiday Blahs

For the first time in my life, I am not looking forward to Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day has been my favorite holiday for a few years. I think of it as mostly a friendship appreciation day, and it has always bothered me to hear others refer to it as Singles Awareness Day. After all, we celebrated in elementary school by giving cards and decorating cookies and the like, and it had nothing to do with romance. And through high school, my friends and I exchanged cards and cookies with each other. Same with my family- my mom and sisters and I gave out cards and candy to each other as an expression of our love. Even seeing all the boys getting things for their girlfriends never bothered me. If anything, it made me look forward to the day when some man would be doing something sweet for me.

But this year, I just don't care. It's not really bitterness. I still don't like the Singles Awareness Day thing. Although I won't deny the possibility that a tiny amount of regret or disappointment is lurking in there somewhere. I just am not at all excited. The same thing happened for Christmas last year. I never wanted to go shopping for presents, I didn't care about my own, and I did not at any point feel the Christmas spirit. I guess I'm just having an off year for holidays.

Introspection

This post has potential spoilers of the itty-bitty kind for A Separate Peace and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.