Holidaying

Sorry for the silence here, but "Wow!" The holidays were just a blur of making (yes, I finally did get Quinn's stocking done), wrapping, packing, taking, unwrapping, driving, loving, resting, bird-watching, and playing. Throw in some banjo, Santa-anticipation, and runny noses and you have our holiday vacation. We started it off with Winter Solstice, by decoration a tree in the woods behind our house with food for the animals.



We spent a magical Christmas Eve and Day with the Sheans, rested up a day and then went to see the Serra's for more merrymaking.





We even managed to get some snow playing in up in Indiana.




As soon as we got back, the progression of runny nose/sore throats started, from one person to the next slowly, but surely. We had a much-anticipated visit from our dear friends Annette and Bec for New Year's Eve.



For this sleepy Mama, one of the most memorable events was . . .night weaning the Quinnster (but that's another blog for another day). We hope you enjoyed your holidays and are blessing in the new year with peace and love. Happy 2010!

Cookies with Papa

It's no secret that Mama loves the holiday season (a lot). But even though Pops tries to play it off, he certainly pulls his share of the holiday spirit. He was the one asking when we were going to get the tree. He was the one that whipped up gingerbread cookies, and he is the one playing Christmas music today on the guitar (without making up silly lyrics about underwear or farts, I might add). This particular day was beautiful to watch Skye and Gary work together on this project. They are such good buds these days since I'm chasing around a little monkey-boy so much of the time. As for the cookies . . . ummm what cookies?

Through Skye's Eyes

Hand her a camera on a daily walk and find out what she sees (besides about 100 shots of her shoe on the ground).



This makes me remember just how much of a giant I am to her. I forget how small she is still.



Hackberry is nature's jigsaw puzzle.

Full of Thanks

This Thanksgiving was full of thanks for more time with family, our new home, and all of Nature's treasures.

Autumn Darkness

This autumn darkness has my mind turning inward, as usual this time of year. I am coming out of my baby-year, sleep-deprived, foggy, with what seems to be a chronic eye-twitch, and not-so-sharp in the head. But I feel like I'm moving forward, just a bit, and feeling the urge to focus on myself a little more. Mothering the first year of a child's life is such a lesson in self-sacrifice - of sleep, time, and energy (did I mention sleep?) But now, I'm feeling the urge to craft, to have more time with Gary, to start a women's circle, to read, to think, to do yoga, and to SLEEP. Don't get me wrong, very little of this has actually happened, but the intentions are growing in the darkness, rumbling around my head during night feedings. I feel like I'm starting to come back to myself, and it feels good. Of course, along with any positive things that have been on hold for a year, all those dark, heavy pieces are still waiting for me as well, just where I left them.

And there are new struggles. Lately, I've been struggling to find balance with two wee ones. I find myself simultaneously grieving the fact that Skye will be in kindergarten this time next year, while longing for having just one child to chase around at a time. I am starting to long for evenings or even weekends all to myself, to just craft or read or hike. All this will come (or be worked out) in time, I know. For now, I'll just chalk them up to growing pains of parenthood. Here's to growth in the darkness.

Message to Quinn

Skye made a letter for her little bro' this week. She read it to him as follows . . .

"Quinn. I forgot to make this for you when you were born. It's a message.
You're in all of our hearts. You'll still be our baby when you're even grown up. I love you. You were born in mama's belly. I love you. You are our sweet little lollipop."

Makes your heart melt to feel the love, doesn't it?

I'll have to remember this in those many daily times when she wants him to "go away."

Lovin Her "Look"

Maiden Rite of Passage

Empowerment Retreat for Young Women
Womensrites.blogspot.com
Girls who have received their first menstrual cycle in the past three years
are invited to attend, to mark this time of physical and emotional
change. Mothers, grandmothers, or support person(s) accompany them.

FREE! Funded by a grant from Kentucky Foundation for Women
Registration Required Transportation Available Upon Request.
Feb. 20 12pm-5pm Black Acre Nature Preserve Louisville, Ky.

E-mail: [email protected] or Call: (502) 432-6324

Priorities

Amidst piles of laundry, gooey floors, toys, and dirty dishes . . .
at least our priorities are straight.

The Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers

A contingency of The International Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers visited Louisville last weekend as part of the Festival of Faiths. The theme for the festival was sacred water, and Skye and I were so excited to finally get a chance to see some of the women that we had talked/learned about from my Wemoon calendar picture. Among other engagements, they had a water blessing ceremony at the Ohio River (just my sort of thing, of course: tribal elders, water, blessings, sage, and the like). The whole family went and actually stayed the entire time of the short ceremony. I explained to Skye what was going on, and she listened intently to the wise words.



Then today, out of nowhere, she decided she'd like to have her own water ceremony. (Don't think I wasn't completely ecstatic.) She wanted three water bowls and a stick, and of course Mama had to go get the sage bowl. She was so excited to smudge me and I her for the very first, of hopefully many, times. She took her coat off since she, too was from the Arctic Circle where it is very cold. She gave her own speeches, in English and Spanish, with translations. Then she put a drop of sacred water on everyone's forehead.

It is always amazing to see how every little piece of input gets processed in a child's brain. A little comment or experience here will show up a month later as they make sense of it. This more obvious experience showed up right away. But the interesting thing was how much of the message she took away from it. It is humbling and daunting to think of how Skye's life is shaped so much by what she sees, hears, and experiences. Amidst a difficult day of sick kids being stuck in the house for 3 days, this was magical, just like my little buddy. And, rest assured, our water is very blessed.

In anticipation . . .

. . . of springs to come, the flower fairy plants tulip bulbs. (Mama had to insist that she wear pants under the fairy skirt.)

Good Night Quinn River

Good night Quinn River
Sleep tight Mama
Good night Dadda
Sleep tight sister Skye

Good night Quinn River
Sleep tight Weeping Willow
Good night Shagbark Hickory
Sleep tight Black Acre

Good night Quinn River
Sleep tight mighty Oak
Good night broad Maple
Sleep tight Redbud

Good night Quinn River
Sleep tight Mother Earth
Good night four-leggeds
Sleep tight green ones

Good night Quinn River
Sleep tight stars in the heavens
Good night bright sun
Sleep tight sleepy moon

Good night Quinn River
Sleep tight all beings
May all be happy
Namaste

Good night Quinn River
May you have deep joy
Each day and each night
Upon the earth

May you be a tree
Bending to and fro'
Still rooted you'll be
Though wind may blow

I cherish this time
With you in my arms
When from my breasts
I give you life

Be thankful for life
And all its magic
Its ups and its downs
Are all a gift

And when we are gone
You'll carry our love
And all our blessings
Within your heart

- Mama (adapted from "Good Night Skye Olivia")

Quinn Update - Wile E. Coyote

Quinn is on the move - fast as lightning, or so it seems to a sleepy Mama. If we accidentally leave the baby gate open, he makes a break for it, as if the stairs are a magical fairyland with treats and adventures beyond his wildest dreams. When we catch him in the act and he knows we're on to him, he quickly glances back and then runs even faster toward the stairs, laughing all the while. Oh, are we in for it with this little coyote jokester.

He is a squawker - and this is not a good thing. There are many days when, from about 4 pm until bed, he is either being held or he squawks, okay he screams (a high-pitched, ear-piercing, give-us-all-a-headache-in-10-seconds-flat scream). We all agree it is a good thing he's so darn cute.

He can now follow simple directions like putting the ball in the bag. When he's not squawking, he uses some signs now for "more, ouch" and "drink". He has his own made-up sign for dance. He says "Mama, Dadda, bye", and "ba" for bath (okay "ba" and "da" for just about everything).

His favorite food right now is bread - loves it. He also likes bananas, pasta, and raisins. He's not a big fan of healthy food - as in veggies. We'll get there.

After an entire year of absolutely no interest in books whatsoever, I think I've hooked him in. I started making the animal sounds to "The Very Busy Spider," by Eric Carl. The trick was to turn the pages quickly and just make the noises and point. He actually sat still for the whole book - almost 25 seconds or so. This is a record for this kid, folks. He's now actively picking up books and bringing them over to us and saying "buh, buh" for us to read to him - "just make it brief, though please."

Then, we move on to sleep. He doesn't, at least much. Night-time parenting this kid is a challenge. I'm often nursing and/or walking him back to sleep 4 times a night when he's sick or teething, or when he got a late nap, or when he didn't get enough food that day, or . . .okay pretty often. But, there are some nights when (Hallelujah chorus please) he'll only wake up and need help back to sleep maybe once or twice. We are all just hoping that these nights get to be the higher percentage soon.

All waking and no sleeping make Mama a grouchy lady.

All waking and no sleeping make Mama a grouchy lady.

All waking and no sleeping make Mama a grouchy lady.

All waking and no sleeping make Mama a grouchy lady.

But all this has led us to find a secret talent lurking in our house - the Baby Whisperer. His name is Papa. Some call him Dad, Daddy, Banjo-man, Gary, what have you. But to me, right now, he is the Baby Whisperer. He can get that sweet child back to sleep much faster than I can, and often during the times that I've run out of what patience I have left. We're very gently working on night-weaning him, but don't want to push it since he could really use any extra calories he can get. He has trouble slowing down during the day long enough to nurse or eat much, so I think he's making up for it somewhat by nursing at night.

Oh, and he's dancing. He'll waddle over to the radio and do the sign for "more." Then he'll bop up and down, his version of dancing. He's definitely learned this from seeing his big sis' spinning around the living room doing various types of dancing every day.

What's next? We'll have to wait and see.

Halloween Post-script - the costume story

I have to mention how Skye's Halloween costume came to be. She was vacillating as kids do, between a pirate, a monster, a firefighter, and a princess. (And you know which one of those I REALLY didn't want, right? But I was quiet, really.) But when it came down to crunch time for deciding on a Halloween costume, she had actually stuck with the witch idea for a couple weeks. I was trying not to influence her, but was secretly elated with her choice. I quickly called my Mama and asked if she happened to still have the witch costume she had made for me roughly 30 years ago. Of course she did! Two moves and 30 years later, she had held on to that costume, just in case. I love that about her. Yes, this tends to lead to having more stuff than one might need, but WOW, when it results in my daughter getting to wear the costume that her grandmother made for her mother, isn't it worth it? A little alteration of an 8-year-old-ish costume into a four-year-old one, and there you have it, a family heirloom.

I still remember going to the fabric store with my mother, picking out the pattern, the black fabric, and the special silver fabric for my very own star and moon design. I remember sewing the plastic spider to my hugely over-sized witch hat that she gently tried to talk me out of, but let me get. I remember putting on the green makeup painstakingly that Halloween night. I remember it being extra cold that year and wearing lots of extra clothes. I remember being a little exhilarated by getting a late start so that it was just a little darker than usual. I was an experienced trick-or-treater by that point and I think I may have even visited the neighbors on our street by myself. It meant so much to have something that my mother and I had made together. As I hemmed it for Skye, I noticed that it old seam looked hand sewn. I guessed that maybe Mom had let me hem it, to help me participate. Touching that polyester brought back so many memories.

At the end of this year's Halloween, I curled up in bed with Skye and she said the words that we hear so often these days. "Mama, can you tell me a story when you were a kid?" So, of course I told her the story of how the costume came to be and how Grammy had saved the costume just in case one of her grandchildren might want to wear it. "Like me," she said. "Yes, just for you, Skye, Grammy saved it just for you."

Witches and Vampires

Who were the witches?

Where did they come from?

Maybe your great, great grandmother was one.

Witches were wise, wise women they say.

There's a little witch in every woman today.

- Circle Round and Sing





(And if you're lucky, you might find a little vampire and a bad vampire wig, too!)

To be 4.

Getting Ready . . .

Quinn's 1st Birthday and Baby Blessing

All four grandparents and even Great Grandmother, Mo, along with uncles, aunts, and friends met to celebrate and formally and officially welcome the new life of Quinn into our family and community. We blessed him with a simple drop of water (morning dew from our family's new home) a token of the stream of life, the most ancient and universal symbol of vitality. Then, his proud sister kissed him on the head and presented him with a flower.

May his light shine now and all the days of his life.



Quinn took in all the love as everyone sang to him. Quinn, know that you are in the care of all those who surround you.



Quinn's first real taste of sugar (cake) and . . .



first ice cream headache . . .(mmm so good, and yet, OW).



Every baby needs a little help from his cousins opening presents.



Great Grandmothers are the best storytellers.



On Quinn's 18th birthday (or maybe 21st - we'll see when he's ready.), he can open these notes of blessings and wishes.


Welcome Quinn, to Life, where we come from the earth, dance around a bit, and then return to the earth.

Live long, live well, and live a life of deep joy.

We release you to grow into the person you were born to be, setting aside all doubts, fear, and expectations.

Know that you belong to yourself and to Life itself.

Namaste, dear, beautiful, sweet one.

We see the Light in you.

Blessed Be, Quinn River Shean!

The Beach

After a plane ride with a very wiggly baby, there were . . .
morning sunrises with Dad,

the awe of the first sign of sun,

first steps in the ocean, (that Quinn won't remember)

drawing pictures on the beach,

buckets of water over the head,

sand on the toes (and in the mouth),

and the laughter and love of Granny and Gordy all around.





Ah yes, the ocean was just what we needed.