Edging

I was surfing through some of the sites listed on the right the other day as I usually do and I came across this blog Rolakiki Binge Masturbator. It is about Rolakiki's masturbation, specifically binge and endurance masturbation. He masturbates several times a day, and/or for several hours at a time. No quickies for him. He looks at porn and edges - works himself up just to the brink of an orgasm, stops, then does it again.

I can relate to that. When I was in my 20's and living alone, this was a frequent activity of mine. I lived in a very rural area with not much to do other than working, running, and spending time with friends. I had a lot of time and found that masturbation was a pleasurable way to pass the time when there was nothing more interesting to do, or just not interested in doing something else. I spent many an evening after work naked on the couch looking at porn magazines or videos and edging. The apartment complex I lived in had a pool. In the summer I'd go swimming or just layout and read, and then return later to my apartment to masturbate. Water always seemed to make me horny, and still does.

In my mid-20's was about the time that I really started becoming interested in crossdressing. I had a thing for looking women in hosiery and heels, either in pictures or people watching. The Victoria's Secret catalog was a nice treat to get in the mail. One time I was in the laundry room doing laundry when I noticed a woman folding her laundry. She threw out some pantyhose that didn't make it through the wash in to good of shape, and some panties. After she left, I couldn't resist the temptation to take them out of the trash and back with me. They were just laundered so I figured there's no harm in using them to masturbate with. The feelings later were electric. The thoughts of being naughty were as well. It wasn't soon after that that I started wearing them, then later buying new things. The girls that worked at the apartment complex's office would always ask me who the lucky girl was that I was ordering Victoria's Secret things for when I'd pick up the packages (no one at that time). If I had only discovered crossdressing years earlier when I first moved there... But I digress.

Back to masturbating. When I travel I masturbate a lot. Being alone in a hotel room in a strange city makes masturbation a diversion from loneliness and boredom. Sure, if I have time and energy I'll go out to dinner, look for the city's brewbups, or just drive around to take in the sites. It helps if I'm traveling with some cool people. More than not, I'm either traveling alone or with someone I'd rather not spend free time with. There are times when I just don't feel like going out. Being on a plane and in a rental car all day, a long day at work, or an unproductive day at work puts me in a funk. Being a very, very, very horny person does it to. I'll bring a couple of recent issues of Leg Show, some electronic files, as well as an outfit or two of my crossdressing clothes. I'll take a shower or bath when I get to the room. I love taking hot, soapy baths, and this is about the only opportunity I have to do so. Sometimes I'll plan ahead and get some bath salts or bubblebath and body lotion. The hot water and scents at the same time are relaxing and stimulating. I'll dress in my girl-clothes, order room service for dinner, and get down to the business at hand (or in hand as it is). Yes, I'll cover up when dinner arrives, although more than a few room service waitresses have seen my stockinged legs. After they leave its back to "me time". Like Rolakiki, I've spent hours edging. Its not really the release at the end that I'm after, it is the repetitive arousal and tension build-up. It is almost better than the eventual orgasm. That's an area that women have a clear advantage - multiple orgasms. But with just one orgasm, edging is the way to go.

Not much going on lately in my world of crossdressing. Work has been particularly busy in the last two weeks, and my weekends have been filled with home repairs. This past weekend I replaced the faucets in one bathroom and the laundry room, as well as going up in the attic to repair the vent. Something definitely go it as the vent louvers were bent and the screen on the inside was pushed all the way out. I'm not sure what it was. I've never seen squirrels climb aluminum siding (the only way to get into the vent), and I can't imagine a bird doing that either. What ever it was, it is stuck in a space that I can't get to without cutting open some drywall in the bedroom. I'm sure its dead by now as it has been a couple of weeks. No other signs of life up there thankfully.

I did get a chance to have some alone-time fun between repairs. After a nice hot shower and trimming & shaving the pubic hair, I dressed in a pair of tan stockings, garter belt, heels, camisole, and a string bikini for some relaxing time to myself. The sensation of the nylon against my legs and feet felt welcoming. Slipping my feet into the heels and walking around also felt good. I don't think too many women (other than the readers of this blog) realize, or maybe they take it for granted, how sensual the feeling of nylon covered feet in soft leather is, and the unique sensation of wearing heels on the legs and posture. Or even the click-click sound heels make when walking. I won't go into the details of my "me time" (unless readers need to know the details), however, I'll say that it was very satisfying!

Home Repairs

I haven't had much time in the last week for new posts. I'm in the middle of fixing a few things around the house. It seems that no matter how simple a repair initially appears, it always takes more time to complete. Those Do-It-Yourself shows make it look easy, and once everything is prepared, it is. Its the preparation that takes the longest time and the most effort.

The first one is adding some insulation to the attic. The access to my attic is a small 14" x 16" hole in the ceiling in a closet. I first needed to get some plywood cut into long planks to lay across the joists so I wouldn't fall through the ceiling. I thought this would be easy as I could have loess do the cutting for me. I bought the sheet of plywood and had them cut it into three 16" wide planks. Once home, I cleaned out the closet, got the ladder, and tried moving the planks into the attic. No dice. They fit into the hole, but roof and the angle I had to maneuver the planks didn't work together. So back to loess to have them cut them skinnier. Luckily, they weren't busy and they did it although they weren't supposed to. That was enough for that Saturday. No time on Sunday to do more.

Monday night I was sleeping in bed and I heard a scratch-scratch sound from the attic. She thought it was a branch scraping on the roof or some squirrels running around on it, so we went back to sleep. This happened again two more nights. The next morning I went out to look at the roof. No branches even close to it. I walked around to the side of the house to look at the attic vent and saw that one of the louvers is bent open. Argh! There must be squirrels in the attic. I wasn't able to fix the vent this past weekend due to other commitments, so it is on the list for this weekend. I just hope the squirrels haven't' trapped themselves somewhere that I can't get to them.

Last night I get home from work and wash my face to find that the bathroom faucet has developed a couple of pin-hole leaks in the spout. After dinner I drove up to loess to buy a new one. I start getting out my tools to replace it and find that I'm out of silicone sealant. Argh! I'll be going back to loess tonight.

On another topic, I've upgraded my eMac to OS 10.4.5 finally after running 10.2.4 for the last three years. It has really made a difference in performance and stability. I highly recommend an Apple if anyone is looking for a new computer.

1000 Hits!

I just noticed that my counter surpassed the 1,000 mark today. Thank You for making this possible!!

Being Submissive

Recently, I answered the question "Why do you blog?" at another blogger's site which got me thinking about my many reasons. Two of them are to talk about crossdressing and to explore my sexual interests (and the combination of the two). This is kind of a mind-trip so skip if not interested in the dark corners inside of my head. Just remember, "if we were not all crazy, we would all go insane".

A topic I recently wrote about was cuckolds. As a refresher per the dictionary, a cuckold is a man who's wife commits adultery. Nowadays from what I've seen, I think it is much more than that. The man knowingly allows his wife to fuck other men although it is not because he permits it (implying that he has the upper hand), it is because she has told him that he will allow it (implying that she has the upper hand). The cuckold will often be a servant to the wife and the other man. Activities could include: preparing her bath; preparing the room in which they will have sex; preparing and serving them a meal or refreshments before, during, and after sex; interact with them while they are having sex in a subservient manner; photographing them; cleaning her and/or him after sex (licking up his semen from her vagina, off of his cock, or other body parts).

Although I couldn't have this type of relationship with her (and she's not at all interested in it either), the scenario fascinates me in several ways. After thinking about it and finding some new blogs about submissive men, it is the submissive role that the cuckold lives that is the real object of my interest, not the adulterous relationship. A submissive man serves her. His purpose is to make her happy, not himself. She has dominance over him. His pleasure is 2nd to hers or not at all. He does all of the chores, obeys her requests, and services her sexually to insure her happiness. She punishes him and teases him to make sure he knows that she is in control. He is usually naked while waiting for her and serving her, although she may have him wear a collar & leash, genital restraint, or women's clothing. And usually this is just in private, not in public. She controls his orgasm and denies it to control and punish him.

By nature I have a submissive personality. I'm not a push-over, but not the A-type Alpha Male type either. Sexually, I've always had an interest in femdom and being of service to women. This is more of an intellectual interest, as I've only had a few real-life experiences with this. I'm one of those guys that's easily intimidated by an attractive woman. Get me near a woman who's oozing sexuality and confidence and I turn to pudding and at the same time I'm magnetically attracted to her. My idea of oozing sexuality has to do with my fetishes - stockings, pantyhose, fine lingerie, high heels, legs, and feet. Sure, an attractive naked woman piques my interest. If she's wearing stockings, a garter belt, and high heels, she has my complete attention. Combine that with a strong personality and I'm jello. I read Leg Show magazine every month. It has both the legs, feet, and hosiery interest and femdom angles to it.

Crossdressing (which is everyday to some degree) brings me pleasure in several ways. First and foremost the tactile sensations - the feel of the fabrics and the way they hold me. I love the feel of hosiery, the all-over encasement, how they feel rubbing against other clothing, how my feet feel in them in shoes. Pantyhose hold things in and support things. I think I look better in pants wearing pantyhose underneath than without them. Panties also feel good as each of the various fabrics and styles feel different than the next. Women's panties are also more colorful than men's. Women's pants are cut differently than men's and usually fit closer. I can get pants that have a lower rise, longer legs, and have some stretch to them. Blouses are probably my only complaint. Women's shoulders are narrower than men's so its tough to find a style I like in a size that fits. I do like the covered buttons, extended cuffs, and fitting that they have. I digress...

"So what does your crossdressing have to do with submissiveness?" you are probably wondering. That's the second part of how crossdressing brings me pleasure. I feel submissive when I buy and wear the clothes. Men shopping in women's stores for women's clothing, even for gifts or if they have to go with their gf/spouse, is stereotypically something that men hate to do and get embarrassed doing it. When a saleswoman sees a man buying women's things, they either typically think or say "Oh that's so nice that you're shopping for her!" in kind of a condescending way, or they act like we're invading their space ("This is 'our' store, not yours. You need help as men don't know what they are doing."). So it comes as kind of a shock to them when I ask to try on women's clothes. That reaction makes me feel submissive to them. Or even if they don't care. No matter how they might react or say, the fact that they are permitting me to do so makes me feel submissive to them. I am gratefull that they allow me to do something that men should not. They could easily say "No."

Wearing women's clothes also makes me feel submissive. Part of it is the sissy-boy idea: men who wear women's clothes are effeminate and less than a real man, less than women. I don't act with a feminine personality or voice, but the idea of being less is a submissive trait. By wearing the clothes and shaving the areas that women shave, I am demonstrating that I'm not the 'macho' man. Sure, women may not always be able to see the women's clothes I'm wearing or notice them if visible, but I know that I am and I will behave submissive to them.

It would be very interesting to actually live out the submissive lifestyle that I mentioned in the third paragraph for a long period of time as I've read about others that do. It will most likely remain a fantasy as I know she would not approve of it and our current living arrangements prohibit us from doing so for an extended amount of time.

Recent Keyword Analysis

How many of you use a counter in your blogs? I use one out of pure vanity - I just want to see how popular (or unpopular) I am. Previously, I had assumed that more people read my blog than actually posted comments to it (just one or two more). The counter keeps track of unique and returning visitors. It also keeps track of the keywords that people use in search engines that they then click on to visit my site. This is the information that I'm finding more interesting than the actual 'came from' stats. Here's a recent look at the keyword analysis statistics:

38.71% giada delaurentis
16.13% guy sheen
6.45% giada delaurentis photos
3.23% delaurentis giada and dino
3.23% sheen place
3.23% husbands, bras, panty wear
3.23% crossdressing pajamas
3.23% crossdressing first time bras panties
3.23% foot,s kiss
3.23% getting caught crossdressing
3.23% hobby crossdressing pantyhose wearing
3.23% rip her clothes
3.23% crossdresser pajamas
3.23% life of giada delaurentis
3.23% cuckold blog

In summary:
51.7% are looking for some information about Giada Delaurentis. I find this kind of strange in that I had assumed that when people search for information about her, they would naturally go to the same sites I went to, mainly cooking sites. I wonder what the reaction is of the searcher when they reach my site and find that it has more to do about crossdressing? I wonder if she has done a similar search and come here? What woudl she think? (I'm just a fan.)

19.4% are looking for information on crossdressing. That makes sense as this is the main topic of my blog. Although I would have thought this catagory would have more hits.

19.4% are, I'm assuming, looking for this specific site. Perhapse they have read my blog in the past and either forgot to bookmark it or didn't want to.

9.7% are miscelaneous topics that I've referenced in my blog at some point or another.

Is there a specific term you use to visit my site?

"There are lies, damn lies, and statistics!"

Foot Fetish!

I was reading feetman78's blog entry from yesterday and his link to Jazz's blog entry about footjobs . I left a comment in her post and I thought it would make a decent entry in my blog. I added more here.

Count me among the foot fetishists! I like the look of women's feet, the curves, the toes, the ankles, the soles, the nails, the soft skin. I like to give foot massages. Some women really like a foot massage and find it a turn-on. I like the way women's feet look in heels - pumps, sandals, open-toe, heeled thongs - anything other than mules. A nice pedicure is very attractive, and I especially like the French style or just clear polish. Pretty feet in pretty shoes. Yum! I like to see both bare legs & feet and hosiery. Sheer hose over pretty feet is a temptation, a tease. The best of both worlds. I'm not into the dirty feet or overly-smelly feet aspects.

The next aspect is the subject of the footjob, or footsex as others may say. Basically, it is a handjob given with the feet. Sure, one cannot encircle and grab a penis with one foot the way a hand can. And maybe the very flexible can give a blowjob and footjob simultaneously. There are other positions & styles that the feet can do that hands cannot. Hands are good for a massage that needs dexterous fingers. Feet are good for covering larger areas with more strength as needed.

Our more likely place to have a footjob is when were on the couch. As I'm sitting, she will lay down with her feet in my lap. I'll give her a nice foot and leg massage, and she'll use her feet to rub my cock. If the clothes are on at the start, they soon come off. After a while, I'll usually lay down facing her. This gives her much better access, and I can massage or caress one of her feet or legs while she uses the other on me. She does various things with her feet: one foot under my cock, the other on top of it massaging my cock with the sole; both feet on top massaging my cock with her toes; one foot on my cock, the other foot's toes massaging my balls or the area just under them. She can also use both her feet and hands together for a combined hand/foot job.

In the bedroom, another position is her either lying on her stomach or on all fours: she puts her feet together to create a gap between them that I can insert my cock. She can either move her feet, I can move my hips, or both. If she's on all fours, this is a good transition to doggie-style sex and I can massage her wonderful ass. She can put her feet in the same position if she is on her back and I'm either kneeling in front of her or standing at the edge of the bed. In this position, I can massage her legs & pussy and kiss her feet, and she can put a leg on my shoulder or a foot on my chest. This then can lead to sex in that position.

Shopping for women's shoes and wearing them are other parts of crossdressing that I enjoy. Another way to internalize and 'grab hold of' my fetish for women's feet.

Updated on 3/3 to add: I forgot to mention the added sensations of hosiery. Hosiery-clad feet & legs are wonderful things! I enjoy the silkyness when giving a foot massage, as well as the sensations when they are used on me. Its a lot of fun for us both for her to start out in hosiery and then take them off as things progress!

Hosiery adds to the allure. When I see a woman wearing fine hosiery and heels, I start to wonder many things. Is she wearing stockings, thigh-hi's, or pantyhose? Does she enjoy wearing them? Do they feel good to her? What kind are they? Grocery store brand, better department store brand, fine luxury brand? How well do they go with her outfit? What do her feet look like in them? What would her feet feel like if I were massaging them or if she were using them on me? (I think I'm starting to sound a bit obsessive now - I'd better stop!)