school wrap-up #3: Farewell (for the summer... forever...)

Grace's transition from elementary to middle school kind of sneaked up on me.  I kept thinking the 5th grade would do a big graduation-type ceremony or party or something.  Heck, they had one for kindergarten that was almost nicer than my college graduation.  Surely, they would do something for the FIFTH graders, especially this group.  These are the kids who were in kindergarten the year the school opened.  These are the original Tierra Antigua Firebirds.  Surely, they wouldn't just shoo them out the door.  Or would they?

The 5th grade did mention, casually, a "grade-level party" on the last Monday (school got out Thursday.)  The way it was advertised, it sounded just like any one of their other dozen parties they've had during the year - a few treats, some games, etc.  They planned to have it in the cafeteria.  That should have tipped me off, I should have been smarter.  But they didn't even invite parents other than to invite us to sign up to bring stuff.  If you weren't bringing anything, there was no indication you should be there.  Or should you?

Mom and Melissa were still in town from being here for Harriet's baptism.  Their plane left that Monday afternoon.  I figured I better spend the day with them and just sent in my paper products for the party on Friday.  Surely, I didn't need to be at this sugar-fest with the 5th graders?

Turns out - yes, this was the BIG deal.  The principal shut down any kind of formal graduation - said making a big fuss was unnecessary.  But the teachers put together a big slideshow and actually made quite a party out of it.  I wish I had half a brain and had gone over for at least part of it.  I totally could have.  I just didn't.  It was so out of character for me.  I go to EVERYTHING over there.  How did I hit a wall with 3 days left?  I don't know, but I did.  I totally didn't even go over there.  I guess a few parents did, but I know a lot of parents who were sad that they hadn't gone either.  That was it.  That was the end.

They did the talent show on Tuesday and cleaned out Mr. Flowers' classroom.  (I did attend the talent show to cheer on the kids I knew in it, even though my kids were in the audience, not on stage.   Definitely a slow let-down of the year.)

Wednesday, the kids got on the bus together for what would be the last time, EVER.  They will not be in the same school again until Grace is a senior in high school.  This bit of reality took me more than a minute to digest.

Harriet's class had their big class picnic that day, and the 5th grade decided (FINALLY) to celebrate the spring birthdays?  Really?  Could we have done this before TODAY?  So, yes, on the freaking last day of school, I brought Grace's last elementary school birthday treats.  I guess I'm famous for my snicker doodles among her friends, so I made 100 snicker doodles and took them on over with the picnic lunch.

My kids wanted me to bring them take-out for the picnic.  From TWO different places.  Harriet loves KFC mashed potatoes and Grace loves to eat a lottaburger.  I should have been smarter and realized that at least 500 other parents would be flocking to the only 2 takeout places between our neighborhood and the school.  I was totally late showing up with their food.  They were standing there waiting for me like forlorn little orphans.  It was a melting hot, windy day.  We sat on the hot field and ate our lunch (they got the order wrong, so we didn't even have what the kids had ordered exactly.  seriously?)  Harriet smashed her big pretty cupcake and cried.  Grace missed watching some of the LEGO movie with her friends, to join us and then had to go back to pass out her birthday treats.  Harriet decided to go with her.  I carried bags of food, and cups of drinks, and plates of birthday treats, from one end of the school property to the other, how many times?

By the time we finally landed in Mr. Flowers' room for the last 30 minutes of school, I felt about as deflated as an old popped balloon you find under the couch from last year's birthday party.  They still had one more official day of school, but it was clear that more than half the school wouldn't be going.  My kids always go on the last day.  I thought for sure Grace wouldn't miss her very last day of elementary school.  She's tender and nostalgic like that.  But, we all mutually, quietly looked at each other and decided "we are not coming tomorrow."

We high-fived Mr. Flowers and walked out, very unceremoniously.  I had planned to bring him a nice card or something the next day, but once we decided that our summer had started, I didn't even give it another thought.  (I realized later that I had kind of forgotten him and sent him the nicest e-mail I could come up with.  He was very appreciative.  I did do more for him during teacher appreciation week, but I hadn't planned to send him home for the summer with just an e-mail.)

The relentless washing machine agitator of the school year had finally broken me.  I couldn't do one. more. thing.  Poor Grace.  I really wanted her to have a memorable "last week."  Instead, it was just -the last week.  I guess she will have to refer to the more-than-1000 awesome times she had prior to that last week and know that she rocked elementary school.  (She did have a crazy good time at their last party - I just missed it.)  She was an excellent student, a wonderful friend, and a solid citizen.  She (and I) did everything in our power every single day, and we ran out of juice a week shy of the end.  No harm done.  We're having an epic summer and she is super pumped for middle school.  I have no doubt that she will rock middle school as well and that I will barely be able to keep up with this kid.

Congrats to Grace for a job well done in elementary school!
Congrats to Harriet for surviving a pretty brutal year in second grade and for coming out of it better than she went into it!

These are some pictures of Grace I took on her first day at Tierra, just after we had moved to Albuquerque.  It was March of her first grade year.

The girls on the last day of school.  Grace's last day of elementary.

WAHOO!!!!

See ya later SCHOOL.  Bring on SUMMER!!!

school wrap-up #2 - jog-a-thon and play day

Sooo... somehow, every year, I'm able to pull off some kind of near-perfection in making sure the kids are able to attend all that is important to them and that I am right there with them for the year-end activities.  It has been no small feat with having them in different grades/classrooms with so many different activities on different days.  Every year I just hold my breath as I write things into the calendar and pray that one big thing doesn't land on top of another.  I knew at some point, it just wouldn't work out.  Unfortunately, on Grace's Grand Finale Year, it happened.

First up - jog-a-thon.  They held it on April 25th, the Friday before Harriet's birthday.  I was already stressed, thinking it would be difficult to be a volunteer for jog-a-thon for both kids' grade levels AND get Harriet's birthday treats to her class at lunch time.  She wanted Rebel Donuts - also a morning pick-up item.  Can't even get those the night before.

Then, the little darling found out that her only chance to test again for the gifted program would be THAT morning as well.  She would have to miss her jog-a-thon.  Luckily, David had the day off and was able to pick her up from the testing center so that I could volunteer at jog-a-thon.  At least Grace and I didn't miss her LAST one.

Harriet was so crushed to miss it.  It is one of her favorite things at school.  She cried.  I told her she didn't have to.  She could choose.  She didn't have to test for gifted.  We were not pushing her to do that.  But, she put the pressure on herself.  She wants to be in gifted SOOO bad, she thought it would be a fair trade-off and was willing to sacrifice one for the other.  (Another story for another day - she didn't get in! Again!  By ONE point. ARGH.)

It was a blast to be with the 5th graders and their teachers though.  I LOVE that group of kids.  I had the hardest time watching the year wind down for them, knowing that they would split up for the summer and never be all back together again.  They ran their hearts out.

Grace, Keely, and Kayla

Now, the other "favorite" year-end activity is Coach D's field day.  Despite her most-of-the-time-crotchety-self, she actually does pull of a really fun day for the kids at the end of the year.  It is a marathon, nightmare of a day, but the kids love it.  Grace has never had a good relationship with Coach.  We have struggled every year to just get through it with her.  So, I think it's even more important to Grace - to have ONE fun PE day during the year.

Night before 5th grade "play day", Grace goes to bed at 8 (weird) and wakes up at 9, THROWING UP!!!  ACK!  How in the H - E - double hockey sticks, did she get a stomach bug during the last week of school?

There is no way I can send her to school for 5th grade play day, nor can I leave her to volunteer.  To top it off, they gathered the 5th graders at the end and took a big fat 5th grade picture of all of them.  Dang it!  Missed that too.  So super sad.

I begged Coach to let her come and "help" me with 2nd grade play day.  She told me no (big shocker), but another lady let me do it.  Grace tried to have some fun and get involved with the 2nd graders, but it just wasn't the same and a few times, Harriet got really upset that Grace was treading on HER play day after she had missed her own jog-a-thon.  Still, there were definitely a few golden sister moments out there.  My absolute favorite was when they needed an extra person for 3 legged race and Harriet and Grace paired up.

They did it a million times until they were totally in sync.  

This was the DAY BEFORE Harriet's baptism, mind you.  Don't worry about me, girls, I've only got people staying with us for the weekend and 50 people coming to the house for lunch tomorrow!  I do try to put their magical childhood ahead of myself most days, but this time, it was "which magical child hood memory takes priority?"  Too. Much.  4 days left of school after this one... with the baptism in-between.

2nd and 5th grade wrap up #1 - talent show

Wow.  Every year, I know that May will be difficult at best to accomplish everything on the calendar. This spring was very bitter-sweet for me.  Grace finished up 5th grade, and also ELEMENTARY school.  I kept thinking there would be this one grand finale when we could feel some accomplishment and closure, but unfortunately, it was just bananas, and then it was over, without any celebration, or really any notice, except the big circle around the last day of school on the calendar.

For the past 3 years, we have used the school talent show to be a "finale" or recital of sorts.  It's usually one of the last days of school and is a great gathering of students and parents.  Grace has always been in it and Harriet made it last year too.

This year, both girls had really great acts planned for try-outs.  Grace had been planning hers since school started in August.  She plotted which song she would learn on the guitar.  Sometime around Thanksgiving, she had DJ teach start teaching it to her.  It was really long and complicated, so it took a few months to get through the whole thing, and then she spent the ENTIRE spring in lessons and practice, preparing to play "Alive" by Pearl Jam for the Talent Show.  It sounded amazing.  She is incredibly talented.  She had no doubt she would get to end 5th grade on that note.  She put on her favorite flannel, plugged in her electric guitar, and even switched back and forth between distortions on the amp mid-perfomance.  She was awesome!

(stay tuned for video)

She did not make it.

(stay tuned for video)

Harriet wanted to play piano to do something different from Grace.  She practiced her "White Horse" by Taylor Swift, until she had it down perfectly.  She even turned the pages of the music without a pause in her playing.  She was so confident, and so ready and, so talented, especially for her age.

She didn't make it either.

I think it was really the first time in her life that Grace was truly rejected.  Harriet has had her turn with rejection several times already in school, but Grace never gets turned away.  It was SO painful.  She cried for days.  She was SO mad.  They give the kids their "letters" at the end of the school day on Friday.  I dreaded picking them up from the bus.  I knew I would know by their faces, which letter they had been handed.  Harriet got off with a sad stoic face.  I knew she didn't make it.  I knew it would have been an uphill battle for her.  7 other kids also tried out with a piano piece.  Hers wasn't the best of them.  I was realistic.  I was prepared for it.

But, Grace.  Grace had the BEST, most talented act of all of them.  She was a FIFTH grader.  Her last chance!  Surely, she didn't meet the same fate.  My first thought when I saw Harriet was that I was going to have to spend the next 3 weeks extinguishing her jealous-sister flames.

Then, Harriet shook her head and quietly whimpered, "Poor Grace - she didn't make it either."  Then, I saw Grace.  She was on FIRE.  Her face was red and wet, her hair wild.  She had her rejection letter in her hands crumpled into a teeny tiny ball.  She got off the bus and stormed to the house without a word.  She threw open the door, and took off her shoes and threw them hard at the wall.  She screamed, she wailed, she ripped up her rejection letter into as many pieces as she could as she shrieked "LIES, LIES, it's all LIES!!!!!" (referring to the "we loved your act, but were so very sorry that we couldn't include you in the talent show" spiel.)

She knew she was the best.  She wasn't being arrogant.  She was right.  She SHOULD have made it.  I had countless parents, students, and teachers voice that same opinion over and over during the coming weeks.  No one could BELIEVE she didn't make it.  She rocked the audition.

People kept suggesting to me that I demand to know why she didn't make it, to ask for the judging sheets and rubrics.  I thought about it, but then David reminded me of a couple of stories when we found out why we were rejected for this or that and I remembered... sometimes, it's better to not know.  Knowing makes it even worse.

So much for ending the year with a bang and a solo rock concert and being at the top of the elementary school world.  Unfortunately, Grace got to end her year with a rough introduction to the real world, where sometimes, even if you ARE the best and the most deserving and the clear choice, you are not accepted.  Man it sucks.  I'm glad her first taste of it was at least in elementary school.  I'm so heart-broken that it had to be over her final talent show.  Sometimes, world, you suck!

(Is it pure evil, that I was slightly, microscopically relieved that we removed the talent show from our list of things to do in May?  Fine, I'm evil.)  Actually, I was most relieved that I didn't have one make it and one not.

We were not in the talent show.  Wasn't that a great talent show post?! Ha!  And you thought I was going to brag about my kids.  Maybe in the next post.

Okay, I will brag a bit.  I am super proud of both of them for (eventually) accepting what happened and moving on without being too bitter.  I am also extremely proud of them for developing their talents and for being so willing to share them with others.  I am incredibly proud of them for trying out and being so brave.  I look up to them all of the time.

Harriet's Baptism Day - May 17, 2014

There are a bunch of things I need to mention in-between Harriet's birthday and baptism, but I really want to write this baptism post before I let it go any longer.

Like I've said before about 10 times already, Harriet has been planning her baptism for at least THREE years.  She knew exactly how she wanted the day to go, right down to the guest list.  (David added an extra family without asking her, and she nearly lost her mind.  After that, I asked her permission to add invitations and she was much better about being okay with it.)

After the sad mishaps with her friends at her birthday party, I just prayed that she could actually have the baptism day she had dreamed of.  Luckily, it all went very well and she was extremely happy.

Since Shadow and Kit Cat wake up before sunrise now, I was up very early feeding them.  I saw the most beautiful sunrise that morning.  I wished I could have woken everyone up to see it, but I knew that would just doom the day to make everyone extra tired.  So, I tried my best to take a quick pic out the window.  I took it as a good omen.

Lots of people traveled down to be with us.  Jane, Richard, Janie and Evan made the drive.  Grandma Debbie, Aunt Lis, Sean, and Kate got on a plane.  We also had Grandma, Grandpa, Christine, and Harriet invited some of our Albuquerque friends, including Harriet's guitar teacher DJ and his wife, Ashli (so cool that they came!)  We definitely had a houseful, but at times like these, it is really nice to be surrounded by family and close friends.

We had a full day since I chose the earliest baptism time - 10am.  Harriet chose all of the music and helped make the program assignments.  We shared the baptism with the Brown family, so we got to plan half of the program. Aunt Jane played piano, Evan gave a talk on baptism and Janie helped him with the visual aides, Grace played her guitar (DJ helped her with a nice arrangement of When I am Baptized), Kate said one of the prayers, and Aunt Lis coordinated the activity in the middle when everyone is waiting for the kids to get dry.  She passed out note cards and had people write a message to Harriet.  I was so glad that we were able to make the program more personal, even at a stake baptism.

Harriet was baptized by her Dad.

Being genuinely happy is something that is often hard for Harriet to muster.  But, on that day, she was truly happy.   There were so many other elements to the day, I hoped that her happiness wouldn't get swallowed up in the details.  But, I know the best moment was watching her climb the steps out of the font with a true smile on her face.  As I dried her off, she quietly and sweetly said "I'm so happy."  I know she made the decision to be baptized for her own real happiness and that it did not have anything to do with the grand event, or the party afterward, or the pretty dresses, or the day with Harriet as the center (which she craves so much - to be the center.)  That little soul really does believe.  It makes doing the other things like making her invitations TWICE so that they were perfect, sewing a dress, buying a dress, throwing a party, and all the other fuss, so worth it.

Grandpa confirmed Harriet.  I don't write this to embarrass him, but it is definitely noteworthy how things happened.  He said the confirmation prayer and then just said "amen."  In his worry about getting the prayer right, he forgot to bless her afterwards, as is tradition to give a special blessing after the formal confirmation.  I was so worried that Harriet would be upset by this, but I knew that for some reason it was meant to be that way.  She, miraculously, did not let it bother her that day.  We asked Earl to give her a blessing on Father's Day.  In the end, I think it was actually really nice that she was able to receive that blessing at our house with just our immediate family (and Grandma and Christine.)  It was kind of a personal blessing for Harriet and I don't know if Grandpa would have given the same blessing in front of more people.  It was probably meant to be, that he forgot to do it on baptism day.

*Harriet's dress:  I don't know when it became tradition to buy a white dress to wear TO your baptism and to church the next day.  We certainly didn't do that when we were kids.  But, some Mormon mom invented it in the last 30 years and it's kind of a staple now.  Harriet was busy thinking about it a year ago.  She shopped for it and bought it at one of the white shops in Salt Lake LAST summer!  She was worried she wouldn't have another chance and she wanted THAT one.  Even though the date of the May baptism was really just almost too much to add to the end-of-the-school-year, it provided the perfect opportunity to take photos of her in her dress at the botanic gardens here in ABQ during peak flower season.  I feel so bad Grace was baptized at the end of winter when the March winds make it impossible to even go outside, let alone stand by a flower.  So, I don't have pictures like this of Grace.  Well, Grace gets other things that Harriet doesn't, right?  It all evens out in the end.

 Harriet came across some beautiful creatures in the garden.  This butterfly lingered long enough to snap some photos.

These irises were so pretty.  They made me miss the irises and flowers at our old house in Boston.

 I just love this shot.  The light through the trees was so amazing and the bench so darling.  And the girl!  So sassy and cute.

Grace, of course, didn't get dressed up to go with us.  But these pics of them together are so priceless. They show their personalities to a tee.  I can't believe how different my girls are from each other, and from me.

 Another adorable little insect that Harriet spotted in a tree.  She loves ladybugs and butterflies.

Well, I may not have pictures of Grace in a white dress in a garden, but that wouldn't be "her" anyway.  This is ALL Grace.  In a t-shirt and camo pants, doing her homework, in a tree.

*******

*Harriet's baptismal outfit:  no jumpsuit from the church closet was good enough.  She wanted to be baptized in a dress.  Lots of other wards I have lived in have had a supply of dresses for the girls, but not here.  So, I made one for the little darling.  I was so nervous that it would be too sheer or that it would float up.  I did my best to alter the pattern to make it longer and straighter and shopped for just the right fabric and did a double layer.  I am not a seamstress.  I have so many friends who are so good at sewing, but it is one skill I do not have.  So, I was super happy that it truly turned out really well, just as I had intended, and the double layer of fabric plus a slip were opaque enough for the water.  We even tested it out in the shower to make sure.  Water proof dress.  Check.

I braided her hair across the back so that it would stay put in the water.  This was at the end of the day.  Looks like it stayed pretty well!

 Presents:  We opened presents with the Barnhisels and Grandma the night before.  She got all the traditional things - A CTR ring, journals, scriptures, a scripture bag, jewelry for church, and Grandma's traditional gift - a silver engraved frame for her baptism picture.

She has waited so long to have her own set of scriptures.  So happy!

*Invitations:  I was so frustrated.  I won't go into the details, but basically, our ward/stake waits until the last minute to offer/assign times for baptisms.  I didn't know what time our baptism would be until TWO Saturdays before!  I wanted really nice invitations, but at that point, all of the nice ones were mail order and I didn't have time.  The 24 hour print jobs were my only option.  I found what I thought were beautiful card stock invitations.  They were expensive enough!  I couldn't imagine anything that expensive would be total garbage.  Well, they were.  I took them home, fumed for a night, and then took them back the next morning and started over.  I had HOURS into that invitation.  Now, 2 days later... more hours, and Costco printing for the win.

*Food:  Harriet really wanted to choose the food we ate for her open house.  Unfortunately, Harriet doesn't normally eat food for lunch.  She couldn't come up with a single "lunchy" thing that she liked that we could serve to at least 50 people.  So, I had to serve food that Harriet didn't like.  It was all delicious, but just not Harriet's favorites.  I did deli sandwiches on rolls and croissants.  Grandma Barbara made a giant bow tie salad, and we had a couple of little sides.  The silver lining was that Aunt Melissa hand-carried four dozen CTR sugar cookies from Granite Bakery in Salt Lake, on the plane, and brought them to ABQ!  I still can't believe she did that, but they were adorable and completely delicious.  Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Lyle also provided a white cake.  Harriet would eat cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if she could.  I guess she did end up having her favorite thing for lunch - sugar!

*Guests:  I tried to take photos of Harriet with everyone who came.  Somehow I missed DJ!  I'm still sick about that one.  He was so extremely adorable.  He got super dressed up in a bow-tie and brought her the most beautiful card with some money in it.  I am so grateful for everyone who took time out of their Saturday to get dressed up and come to the church and support our family.  Besides our family members, we also had the Ponds, Martins, Hoods, Jeppsons, and Howards over.  (Merediths, Wilts, and Wixoms weren't able to make it.)  Some of them brought presents as well, so we opened a few more things.

Savannah Hood and Harriet

Gillian Pond and Harriet

Christian and Maren Howard and Harriet

The Martin Family and Harriet

Wow, what an amazing day for her and for us.  I'm so glad we pulled it off and that so many could make it to spend it with us.  I was also very grateful that none of us woke up sick that morning.  Just a few days before, Grace had gone to bed throwing up.  David gave her a special blessing that she would get better fast and Harriet one that she wouldn't get sick.  Thankfully, Grace only missed one day of school, and Harriet didn't come down with anything.  I was dying that she (and our whole house full of guests) would wake up vomiting on baptism day!  That was a huge blessing right there - that we were all well and baptism day could happen at all.  

I love this sweet little girl.  She is a strong force in our family.  I am so proud of her for having such strong spiritual connections and believing like she does.  I am extremely happy for her that she was finally able to be baptized and that everything went as she would have liked it.  Whew!  Congratulations Harriet!