Soooo… It was an interesting night….

So far, my stance on sex ed has been on a need-to-know basis. If a question is asked, I answer it honestly. I have been asked, “Where do babies come out of your belly?” And I have answered. So far, no one has asked how a baby gets IN your belly. Last night, the boys were being boys and hiding a bouncy ball spasticly from each other while the other one guessed where it was, of course the it soon ended up hiding in underwear. They started yelling something about PP’s (our short cut for penis) then they just started full on yelling PENIS! PENIS! My mistake was intervening…

Me: Guys, penis isn’t a bad word, but it is a private word. It isn’t something that I want you to run around yelling because you are talking about your super private areas and we don’t talk about our private bodies with people that aren’t the 4 of us. Got it?

Boys: GOT IT!

Nate: Girls don’t have pp’s.

Me: Nope they don’t.

Scott: What do girls call their private areas?

Me: (deep breath, stay natural, deep breath) Girls call their private area vagina.

Silence

Nate: Girls have a VIRGINIA! That is so funny! It is like a VIRGINIA!

Scott: (cracking up) Oh man, virginia! VIRGINIA!!!!

Me: (having a deep internal battle, do I let it go? Because how hilarious is this?!) Guys, chill out. The word is vagina and it is also a private word, so please QUIT SCREAMING ABOUT IT!

I am sure this will be repeated in public sometime soon so put earmuffs on your kids if you frequent Target and Whole Foods.

Speaking of Virginias

Nate decided to turn into a 14 yr old girl for about 30 minutes. Some how in the bath tub, Scott’s eye got scratched and he was “going blind” so I quickly got both the kids out to ease the drama. To set the scene, No one was in trouble. I didn’t yell. I just said, “Time to get out.”

Nate: (laying on the ground with his head in his hands fake crying) I need a new family! No one in this family loves me. I am going to live with a family that likes me.

Me: Umm, Nate, what just happened here? No one is upset at you.

Nate: I want to live with a new mom and a new family. None of you love me. Everyone is mean to me. 

Me: I am so confused right now. What is going on? 

Nate: (fake whimpering)

Me: (time to change tactics) Nate, if you had a new mom, she wouldn’t know your secret handshake… I would be so sad if I didn’t have you.

Nate: (looking up with dramatic eyes) I can teach it to her (and I am not kidding he really said this…) DUH!

Me: Okay, well, I would love to read to you before you go to bed, but if you want to lay in my closet and be sad, that is up to you. PS, I hope you don’t go to a new family, we would be super sad.

Nate: Ughhhhhhh….. (comes out 10 minutes later and acted like nothing happened)

RANDOM.

I really hope he doesn’t start turning into a 14 yr old girl very often, because I was really excited to have boys and skip all that drama. 

PS Vagina is a super creepy word and so are all the other words to use instead of vagina so feel free to just start saying Virginia because I definitely will be. 

Never a dull moment. Ever.