a quick list of things i find comforting

• the sound of the dishwasher in the evening
• clean sheets
• the smell of brownies baking
• an organized bedroom
• lamplight (as opposed to overhead lighting)
• an up-to-date To Do list
• a fully stocked fridge
• little reminders that people love me (notes, letters, pictures, hellos)

Something about today:
This evening I found out that an old friend of mine passed away. He was in a car crash last Sunday while traveling between cities on the Warped Tour.
I hadn't seen him in a few years. He and I went to junior high and high school together. We were on student council together, we were in lots of the same clubs, and in lots of the same classes. I had not talked to him since we graduated from Red Mountain apart from an occasional "hello, how are things". It feels strange that he's gone now.
Aren't friends like him supposed to be constant (though distant) figures in your life? Those friends from high school that are just there. The ones you expect you'll run into at a grocery store or at a high school reunion, but that you don't feel any need to seek out. I'm sad that he's gone. People our age shouldn't be going anywhere. It scares me to think that a life can end so suddenly.
Zach was a really great guy and a very talented musician. I know he'll be missed by a lot of people.

Back to blogging

K, sorry. I missed a week in there. Things have been busy.

Coming soon:

• family reunion
• Spiral Jetty
• An Ode to Summer

Skydive Canyonlands, or how I briefly reached nirvana at 10,000 feet

Months ago, Living Social had this really crazy deal on skydiving. Instead of the usual $200+ dollars, it was just 80. Skydiving had always seemed like this crazy, extravagant, extreme sort of activity. While it seemed appealing, it also seemed too impractical. In a financial sense. And let's be serious, jumping out of an airplane for fun is the very definition of impractical.

Anyway, with such an awesome deal it seemed silly to pass up the chance to go skydiving. It was one of those "this price only if you buy X amount of passes" deals, so our friends Lina and Taylor, Tom and myself each got a pass to go.

The deal was for a place down in Moab, UT called Skydive Canyonlands. We needed to use the passes by mid-June. We bought them way back in January (I think, sometime around then) and figured we'd go when the weather got nicer. Every couple of weeks I would remember that I was going skydiving and start to freak out a little so I just pushed it out of my mind the best I could. Finally, June rolled around and we either had to go or let our passes expire. Taylor made an appointment for a Thursday morning and that's when it finally started to feel real.

On the morning of our jump, we left Provo at the crack of dawn to get down to Moab for our 9 AM appointment. Actually, no, not even the crack of dawn... it was still dark and I was not a happy camper. (Sorry, guys.) I was too tired during our drive down to consider being afraid. But as the sun came up and I became a little more coherent, I decided I needed a plan. See, I'm terrified of heights. Severely. Like, clinging to tree branches and rocks anytime a hiking trail gets too steep. In order to combat this, I did my best to clear my mind, let things be, and to just take things as they came.

The rest of the drive I didn't think about skydiving, I thought about being in a car. How nice! Hanging out with friends in the car, watching the sun rise... yep. Car rides are easy.

Then it was, "How lovely! Relaxing in an airplane hanger."

Creative skydivers.

Tom the Handsome, chilling out as he waits his turn to go up

After a while, we watched this video. It explained the waivers we were signing. Short version: in the event of serious injury, you waive the right to sue our company. In the event of your death, you instruct your heirs not to sue our company. 

But did this freak me out? Nope! Because I was living in the moment. 

Well, that or because I was so
transfixed by this guy's beard to feel any fear.

Following the video, we waited (for a really, really long time) until it was our turn. 

We got suited up and I thought, "What a neat thing. Putting on a jumpsuit! Never done THIS before."

I revelled in the feeling of a jumpsuit, swished around a little... all the while being very careful not to think of anything else.

What could have been our last photo.
I mean - what? Uh.. Look how excited we are!

Anyway, then it was finally our turn to go up. A flight in a small aircraft! I'd never been up in a little plane like that before. At this point, it was really easy to forget about everything else. I didn't even have to try anymore. I wasn't thinking about jumping out of the plane, I was thinking about how beautiful the world is and how lucky I was to have such an awesome view.

Lina took her camera up with her,
so the aerial shots are from her flight.

The huge rock formations flatted out as we got higher.

Eventually it looked almost entirely flat below us.

When it was time to jump, I was actually a little sad that the flight was ending. It was beautiful. But jump I did.

I was the first out of the plane. My instructor gave me some last minute instructions on where to put my hands and the right position to hold my body. I put my feet out of the plane and steadied them on the landing gear. Once my instructor got his feet out too, I grabbed onto the front straps of my harness and then - we jumped.

The free-fall was amazing. That's the word that kept coming into my head. Amazing, amazing, amazing.  

The ground is so far off that it doesn't seem like it is rushing toward you. Instead, it looks stationary. Like a really distant mountain range on a road trip. It doesn't seem like it's getting any closer and then suddenly it looms in front of you.

When the chute opened, we slowed way down (though it still felt like we were going pretty fast). I settled back into my harness and then my instructor had me take the handles to the parachute. He showed me how to steer by pulling down on one side of the parachute or the other.

The landing was really, really smooth. I pulled my legs up in front of me and slid to a gentle stop in the dirt.

Tom and I immediately after landing.

I was surprised to realize that at no point during the entire experience did I ever feel fear. I was too focused on each part of it to worry about being scared. Even though skydiving is usually described as an "extreme" sport, I had a totally different experience. The entire thing felt pretty peaceful. Not exactly what I expected, but I absolutely loved it.

Two happy skydivers.

some things

Maybe weekly blogging isn't going to cut it. I feel like there is so much I never get around to writing about. In any case, here are the highlights from the past month that haven't made it to my blog:

First, some sister stuff.

Amy was in Seussical. The place was completely sold out and they did an amazing job.

I took Amy to see the Hunger Games. Sister outings are my favorite.

Mother's Day

We had brunch at my parents' house on Mother's Day.
This is my dad next to a TON of bacon.
(We had the whole family over.)

Me and my momma on Mother's Day. Isn't she pretty?

 

Lana and I played badminton after the brunch.
(we almost appear athletic, don't we?)

Solar Eclipsing

The day before the eclipse BYU had an event where they passed out special solar viewing glasses and put on some demonstrations.

Tom, Joe, and Emily. Waiting in line to get our glasses. 

Attempting to take a nice picture. Mhm.

Near the big telescope on the ESC roof. 

Lana moved away :(

Becky, me, and Lana -
out to dinner at the Banana Leaf a few days before the Cole's moved to Texas.

Tom and Joe's band Winters Run played a show at Muse.

My boyfriend is the lead singer of a band. No big deal.

 The Spaghetti Western dinner/ "Fistful of Spaghetti"

We got together and watched a Fistful of Dollars (starring a very young Clint Eastwood) and ate spaghetti.

Lana and Matt brought the salad, Holly and Russell brought the bread, Tom made the sauce, and Joe and Emily provided the pasta

The group.
You might look at this picture and think "Aw, look at Russell being funny!"
However, that is not the main attraction here. Look closer. At Matt.

Matt. Yep.

Also, can we just appreciate these three for a moment?

And finally, today at the Provo Farmer's Market

 

Tom sketching. Did I mention he just got into the BYU animation program? He's amazing.

 Posts to be posted soon:

• Tom and Lauren go skydiving. (I'm just waiting until I get the pictures from our friend's camera).
• How I pass my time during the summer.
• Father's Day.

a plea

Some thoughts on writing, courtesy of a publishing intern, directed at THOSE authors (you know who you are):

Please, please, please for the sake of my sanity, edit your manuscripts.
And I don't strictly mean clean up your grammar mistakes (but seriously... their, there, they're. This isn't rocket science.)
Edit them for CONTENT.

Do I want to read a five page description of what each character is wearing when they meet up for dinner? Well--is it relevant to the story? Chances are the answer to that question is no. Which means that you need to cut it out. I don't care how attached you are to those pages of boring, shabby prose. Ask yourself: is this relevant? No? Then leave it out.

And can we talk about character development? How about we try keeping characters consistent? "Joe" is a brilliant private eye. He is thorough, smart, stealthy. He doesn't take crap from anybody. Cool, okay. I'm on board. He sounds awesome. But when you send him strolling willy-nilly into an investigation of some creepy manor only to set off every alarm in the house (which he is BREAKING IN TO, by the way. Because he doesn't worry about the legal ramifications of his actions... like losing his license or going to jail), to be chased by the guard dogs he totally managed to miss on the way in, and to make a million other amateur mistakes... well, that's not consistent with Joe's character, now is it? You, as an author, do not get to create characters and then yank them around without consequence. When you do this, when you abandon any kind of fidelity to the character that you have created, I don't buy it. It's insulting that you expect your audience to accept your half-baked plot developments. Give your readers some credit. I, and any other poor soul that reads your manuscript, am not going to appreciate inconsistencies like these.

This also goes for all of you authors that think you can wave a magic wand and erase the previous emotions or conflicts of your characters. "Jenny" is totally in love with "Johnny." Too bad "Johnny" is totally mad at Jenny. He swears he will never forgive her. She's murdered his dog or something. Next thing you know--these two are blissfully in love. So what changed? What happened? Well, "Jenny" batted her eyelashes, they exchanged a couple of awkward lines of dialogue and bing, bang, boom... "Johnny" is like,"Oh man, forget that she set my house on fire. I suddenly love her. I yearn for her. If she ever leaves me I will forgo all food, air, and participation in life until she returns to my side. Maybe I'll ride motorcycles at high speeds and jump off cliffs until she comes back."
 (Wait, sorry, somehow that started to be a Twilight rant. Ahem.)

My point is, if you set up characters and situations only to completely undermine them in your next breath, your audience will lose all trust in you as an author. Your audience will be turned off by your story. I, the intern, will want to dump your manuscript in the recycling bin. But because I am an intern, I'll trudge on and read it (because I have to). But I will resent you. I will resent you and your "book." Or rather manuscript. Because if I have any say it will never become a book.

Moral of this story:
EDIT. EDIT EDIT EDITEDITEDITEDITEDIT. UGHHH

roommates

I shared a room with my brothers when I was really young and then with my little sister when I was a teenager. Finally, during my last year or two of living at home, I got my own bedroom. Which was AWESOME. 

Then I moved away to college and got roommates.

Yeah, I was not too excited about that one.

Things you should know about rooming with a bunch of girls?

First of all, there will be hair all over ev-er-y-thing. And none of it will be yours.

Second, girls can seriously eat. That punch bowl full of candy corn? That'll last you about 48 hours. Maybe.

Also... there will be a blowdryer going approximately 80% of the time.

Hot water? Yeah, that's a thing of the past. Get used to cold, cold showers because in a house of six ladies the hot water heater just cannot keep up.

Chances are there will be bouts of crying and hysterical laughter. These will probably overlap. You will get used to it.

Your jaw will actually hurt from talking so much.

And finally, you will not be prepared for the roommate-withdrawals you experience once everyone moves away. 

Any time I flip through old photos I see these little captions next to everyone.

roommate photo, as seen through my eyes

see that face? clearly I knew what was to come

I think all I'm trying to say is that I miss these mugs.

Tom and Lauren go to Arizona, a retrospective

The nice thing about not posting for so long is that I have a huge backlog of events about which to blog. Case in point: Tom and I took a trip to Arizona a month ago.

My brother Sean was nice enough to let us stay with him out in Phoenix. I completely neglected to take pictures of his house--but it is this nice little place in central Phoenix. It was really close to the freeway which is great because we drove around. a lot.

Let me explain: Tom and I were both starting Spring classes (and in my case, an internship) the same week of our trip. We left Provo on a Thursday afternoon (around 3:30 or 4 in the afternoon), made it to Phoenix by about 1 am, went to wedding #1 on Friday, went to wedding #2 on Saturday, then drove back to Utah on Sunday. Also--did I mention how spread out everything is in Arizona? We were essentially in the car for four days straight. Ouch.

Tom is a total champ though--he drove the entire time since I'm not able to drive his car (stick shift. I'm working on it). On the bright side? I make an excellent navigator. Right? Yeah. Definitely. Ahem.

While I also neglected to take any photos on the drive down to Arizona (working on this too), it was a beautiful drive. Picture this: herds of cattle grazing in green fields, a light rain, the sun peaking out of the clouds as it sets, and a huge, perfect rainbow that followed us for miles. I really wish I had photographed the rainbow, guys. We could see both ends of it where it touched down in the grass. Amazing.

The drive down included:

- some embarrassing music choices (except not, because Tom and I have excellent taste in music both individually and as a team)

- A Song of Ice and Fire audiobook 

- part of Treasure Planet

- snacks! blankets!

Okay, anyway. I think I might be bad at condensing things into a blog post. Do you care about tons of detail? Do you mostly just want pictures? I'll figure this out eventually.

Day 1:

Despite being pretty tired (a full day of work/school before + driving into the night + couch sleeping), we didn't want to waste the day. Don't mind the dark circles under our eyes throughout the rest of the trip.

We started out by going to the Phoenix Art Museum. It was lovely. It is my favorite place in the Phoenix area. Climate controlled, beautiful artwork... What's not to love?

in front of the Phoenix Art Museum

After the museum, we headed to Mesa. We got Barro's pizza, which I happen to love. Tom says he liked it, but I'm not convinced he was as excited about it as I was. I think my love for Barro's might be based more on nostalgia than flavor.

We also stopped by the Superstition Mall to do some shopping. I had been saying what a small, crummy mall it is. Once we got there, I realized it is significantly bigger than either of the nearby malls here in Provo. Huh. It's still small and crummy compared to other Arizona malls though.

After the mall, we went to Brooke and Christian's wedding reception. It was beautiful. Brooke, seriously, it was lovely. I got to catch up with lots of old friends and neighbors. Tom didn't really know anyone there but just jumped in a socialized. He's the best, right?

We had high hopes of finding something fun to do in Phoenix later that night but this was complicated by two issues:
1) We don't drink.
2) We were really, really tired.

So instead, we went back to Sean's house and chilled out for the rest of the evening. I can't remember whether it was this night or the next that we watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade or if that was on Saturday night. (I suppose this is why it is helpful to write this things down right away instead of a month later).

Anyway, the next day was Saturday. We went to an outdoor market where local produce, jewelry, and other crafts were sold. Thank goodness for outdoor misting systems. It was hot. We took refuge in a neighboring restaurant/cafe/market for a while.

some lovely flowers from the market

taking pictures together is hard.

lemon square. happiest? oh yes.

After the market, we went to Scottsdale Fashion Square. Tom needed to see what a real Arizona mall is like. I mean, some states have great attractions like lakes or forests. And while my state has plenty of cool things to see (y'know, like the Grand Canyon) Arizona is the best at malls. Because what else is there to do in the desert?

Saturday evening we attending Andrea and Matt's wedding in Chandler. Her younger sister Emily and I were really close growing up, so Andrea always felt like a big sister to me. Andrea looked amazing and she and Matt looked so happy together. I also got to see lots of old friends from high school at the wedding.

The next day was Sunday. We stopped by the Mesa Temple to tour the grounds (Tom has pictures from this, but I don't). After that, we headed back to Provo. Some pictures from the trip back:

filling up the car, a common activity with all of the driving we did

Tom was confused by Circle K. I grew up with these on every corner but apparently the sign doesn't make sense to "foreigners." Who wouldn't look at that sign and understand that it means "Circle K"?

so handsome.

realizing just how white I am post-winter. I didn't fit in down in Arizona, land of the tan.

We stopped at the Cameron Trading Post on the trip back. We'd neglected to restock on road food so we had to stop for dinner somewhere. Tom and I split a Navajo taco and it went a little like this:

assessing the situation

confidence

a good effort

regret.

Also, Arizona mugs! I think these pictures pretty much sum up the drive home.

exhaustion. shell shock.

attempted excitement that reads as craziness. did I mention how tired we were at this point?

And thus ends my longest blog post to date. The trip was lovely. It was nice to get out town for a bit and go to the weddings of two wonderful friends.  And it was also nice to collapse in bed upon returning home.

Because you asked so nicely.

I'm terrible at posting on my blog. But here's the deal: 99% of my friends have moved/will shortly move away from Provo. (Geez guys.) Which means it will be harder to stay connected. Well, harder for other people to stay connected to me. I read my friends' blogs on a daily basis. Which means that even after months apart I'm totally up to date with their lives. The trouble? I'm not reciprocating.
I was talking to Lana and Becky last night and they gave me those eyes--you know, the "get it together" eyes--and told me I needed to start posting more often.

So I will. I'm going to start posting more frequently so that I can stay in touch. I almost said I'd post daily... but I think that's a bit ambitious. A minimum of weekly? Okay. Yes. I can do that.

Remember that little issue I mentioned?

You know... about how I have such a hard time writing. And how I am only able to write for school because the alternative is failure? Uh huh. Yeah.

I am wrestling this paper to the ground though, guys. It has been resisting every step of the way BUTIGOTTHIS.

And now, so that you can all say things like "wow! Lauren is so smart!" here are the things that I am writing about:
abjection
the formation of identity
the pre-oedipal stage
HELLO, YES. WHAT IS SANITY?

In rage faces:

In other news, I'm trying to cut down on my Reddit usage. It's going... okay.

in a writing slump

This blog is not the only writing I've been neglecting.
I have three papers that I need to write by tomorrow.
I haven't written in my journal since February 23rd. (unless you count writing the date at the top of the page on February 26th)
I have been terrible when it comes to writing letters. (Sorry David. Sorry Paige.)
I don't even reply to Facebook posts half the time. Seriously.

I'm not sure what the deal is.
I look at my blog every so often and think "huh, sure has been a long time." People have pointed out my lack of updates, even.  Oops.

I have been carrying my journal with my everywhere I go (as usual) - but every time I open it up I stare blankly at the very, very blank pages. Nothing.

I only manage to write things for my classes because the alternative is failure. So. Yeah.

I'm working on it. I promise.

a reason to break this two month silence

I'm not one to say this usually.  But goodness, gracious.  Can I just be her?

I haven't had anything to post since October 31st.  But - here we are.