A bright side

Isaac has to do a report on a famous musician for his music class.  I immediately suggested Mozart or Beethoven.





 He decided on LMFAO.

 Apparently his music teacher thought this was a fabulous idea.  And the anxiety about this whole middle school thing continues to build...

Also, one of his core teachers snapped at him today because he didn't immediately report some sort of altercation between the two kids sitting next to him.  He said something about Isaac being a bystander and then said, "I'm not dumb."  Really?  Excuse me, Mr., but as it is the second week of school, you may not have noticed that my son is not only painfully shy but has a freakin' SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER, making things like reporting on other students kind of out of his comfort zone.

On the bright side, he told me he noticed a new student sitting by himself at lunch today and is going to ask him if he wants to sit with Isaac and his friends from now on.  Isaac is the bright side.

Home school has been on my mind a lot today.  No lie.

Thoughts on school, life, parenting, you know...

In case you didn't know, the new Blogger shows you how many people look at each post.  So I'll give a special shout out to the two of you who actually read my blog!  (Ryan and Mom, I'm assuming??)  Thanks!  Luckily I mainly do this for myself and my family's benefit.  Especially this post.  I need a journal entry today.  I have been feeling so down and defeated lately.  So you can stop reading if you want.  The two of you already know most of this stuff.

The girls started school on July 9th.  I was worried from the start.  Audrey did not end second grade well--I have been concerned about her grades for some time now.  Chloe also had a rough time in second, but seemed to be doing a little better.  The sad thing is, they both try hard.  It's not like they aren't doing the work.  It's just that they don't get it.  I was also worried because from what I could tell we were going from sweet, warm, loving second grade teachers to not so inviting third grade teachers.  It made me nervous.

Well, as of right now, Audrey is pretty much failing third grade.  (Can you fail third grade?  Would they really hold her back?!)  She comes home crying and tells me she is the worst student in the class.  It breaks my heart.  I graded her math test while I was volunteering and she only got one right.  She got a 16% on her last spelling test.  Her confidence in her skills is eroding away to nothing because no matter how hard she tries, she fails.  When people ask me what she struggles with, I have to say, What doesn't she struggle with?  Art.  She is good at art.

So now we are shelling out the big bucks to get her tutors for reading once a week and math twice a week, plus she is going in early on Tuesday mornings to get extra help from her teacher.  I never thought I would have a child that would have these types of problems.  It is hard and I wish I knew how to help her.

On top of that worry, we are starting to see more of the "drama" that surrounds girls.  The girls will come home and say that they didn't get to play with one of their friends at recess because someone made a rule that they had to rotate days of playing with this one girl and it wasn't their turn.  Um, no.  I told them you go tell those girls that you will play with whoever you want to play with, thank you very much.  They were recently invited to a slumber party with a bunch of girls in their class.  I didn't let them spend the night (just stay late), and after talking to the mom of the birthday girl about it, I am so glad I didn't.  She said the drama was ridiculous "She doesn't want to play what we are playing, so we aren't going to play with her for the rest of the party..." Etc. etc.  WHERE do they get this?!  WHY are girls (and WOMEN) so mean to each other?!  I know I was like this sometimes when I was little.  I am always, always telling the girls to please not be the mean girls.  I hope they are listening.

Isaac started middle school as a 6th grader on August 20th.  He seems to enjoy it--but I can tell you, I have had major anxiety about it.  I have never really thought I could homeschool--I do not have nearly enough patience--but it seems to me like every time Isaac starts a new phase of his education, I start researching it again.  I don't like sending my little boy into the harsh reality and social minefield that is middle school.  I don't like hearing that the kids say it is like walking around in a rated R movie all day long because the language and discussions are so vulgar.  I know I can't shelter my kids from reality, but that doesn't mean I don't want to!  I told Isaac today that I just don't want anything bad to happen to him.  He said, "Bad stuff has already happened to me."    And I said, "What?"  and he pointed to a cut he got on his leg while hiking on Saturday.  I said, "I am way less concerned about your physical safety than I am about your spirit getting hurt."

Today some kids at school made fun of the shirt he was wearing.  He was pretty nonchalant about it all, but I just want to go to that school and beat the crap out of somebody.  And I know it's not that big of a deal--but still, don't mess with my kid!  I don't want him to go through what I did.  I hope and pray that boys have it easier than girls do...

Little Linky started his second year of preschool on August 21st.  No grades, or peer pressure or bullying or mean girls or math tests to worry about yet.

He tells me at least once a day that he wants to stay 4 and stay with me forever.  I wish he could, too.

Parenting is so hard.  It just keeps changing.  Physically hard when they are little.  Emotionally hard later.  And I can only assume it will just keep getting harder.

I told Ryan tonight that I just want to move out to the middle of nowhere and live like the pioneers.  No tv, no internet, no Wii, school at the kitchen table, chores outside together as a family.  I know--yeah, right.  But I still want that for my family's sake.  This world scares me sometimes and I wish I knew how to protect my kids' tender little hearts and souls from it.

Summer Fun

Despite our weird school schedules, I was able to get the boys into swim lessons for one session at the end of the summer.  Here is Lincoln with his little friend, Laynie.

 He came a long way!!

Thanks to a tip about a fabulous Groupon, we were able to afford to take the family bowling for the first (and probably last) time ever!!  We had a lot of fun.

Lincoln found this random bug on our house.

 The younger kids and I ran in a race to raise money for their elementary school.  I was so proud of them--they all ran the whole mile without complaining or stopping!

Sometimes we get bored around here.

The Daddy Daughter Olympics

Right after I finished my race...

the girls and Ryan had to run to make it to their annual Daddy Daughter Olympics.

The girls look forward to this event all year long.

Obviously I was not home when they got dressed and ready for the day...

But they sure had fun!!!

Tri #2!

This originally appeared on my other blog, so if you have already read it, I won't be offended if you scroll on down.  :)

I learned so much--I had so many thoughts while I was racing I wished I had some way to record them so that I could remember them for the blog!  As we were getting to the race venue at 5:00 this morning, I told Becca that it was good that she had done this before, so she knows what to expect.  And she said, "Yeah, and it's a bad thing because I know what I am getting myself into."  That made me a little nervous...

This is the "after"--it was too dark to take any "before" pictures.

First thing first--Hate to break it to you, but SLOW and STEADY actually DO NOT win the race.  :)  But at least they finish!!  My goal was to cross that finish line and I did it!!  (Even if I was one of the very last people to do so...)  I never claimed to be fast.  Unlike Becca, who freakin' WON!!!!!!  How cool is that?!

I am soooooo immensely proud of Becca, I can't even tell you!!!  SECOND tri EVER!!  First Olympic!!!  She didn't even want to stay for the medals ceremony because she thought there was no chance!  I KNEW she would win--she is super fast!  I am so thrilled for her!!

So, first we had the swim.  We grouped ourselves into teams of four by swim times.  Our team called itself "Team Tortoise" because we were on the slower end of the spectrum.  But we had fun!  This tri is unique because it is actually in two pools.  So we had to swim 23 lengths in the first pool, then get out, run outside, jump in a second pool and do 21 more lengths.  On my second length in the first pool I got a massive charley horse in my right calf.  I don't know why, but it was pretty annoying and it made it somewhat tricky to swim--I had to do it with a floppy foot for about 5 or 6 lengths until if finally stopped cramping.  Outside in the second pool I actually passed someone, which was really exciting for me!  (I won't tell you how many times I got passed...)  Getting out of the pool was a joke too--it was a platform pool so you pretty much had to use only your upper body strength to get out.  My upper body was tired by then, so I just kind of flopped myself up onto the side like a beached whale.  At least I wasn't wearing my wetsuit this time!!

I was so excited when I knew I was going to finish that swim!  After what happened last time I was nervous about it.  Despite all my self-doubts and the comments of a few naysayers I rocked it!  (So, apparently I really was sick last time if any of you still have your doubts...)

On to the bike.  The 20 mile course was 2 loops around the area.  The entire first half of the loop was uphill. Up.  UP. UP!!  Neverending UP.  At one point I really and truly almost had to pull over so that I could vomit.  Luckily the nausea passed--I will have to figure out a better nutrition plan for next time.  The good news was the second half of the loop was all down!  And then we got to do the whole thing over again!  At body marking they put your age on the back of your right calf.  I don't know why, but I will tell you, it sure makes you feel lame when 68 year old men are flying by you on their bikes.

The run.  More UP.  Seriously, what is up with the directors of this race?  They like to torture people apparently.  Sadists, I tell you!!  The course was described as "challenging."  Um, yeah.  So much uphill.  Steep, steep hills!  I started off doing my run, walk, run thing, but then I modified it to be run, walk up the hills, and run.  It was exhausting and I think by that point I was really dehydrated because I kept getting the chills.  I don't think that is normal when you are out in the sun in 80+ degree weather.  I stopped at all the water stations and got water but I think I should have drank A LOT more on the bike ride!  I will know that for next time.  My knee was fine, but that silly muscle that cramped up during the swim was (and still is) very sore, so that probably slowed me down a bit, too.  I saw Becca as I neared the halfway/turn around point and asked her if I was almost there.  Her response?  "Um, no."  At least she is honest!

Anyway, I finally made it to the end of the 6.2 miles and I was so happy to see my family there waiting to run in with me!

Okay, I sort of look bald here.  :(

I did it!!  Anyone who has known me for longer than 8 years or so knows what a HUGE, HUGE deal this is!!  When Ryan and I got engaged I couldn't even run for 30 seconds straight.  And I am not exaggerating (he would time me.)  I have never been athletically inclined AT ALL.  Well, I'm still not really, but the fact that I did this is really incredible to me!!

I guess this is a picture of me crossing the finish line.  I just don't see me.  But I did cross it, I promise!!

 I immediately went back to transition to get some water in me--I knew things were not right with the way I was feeling.  By that point I had the chills and goose bumps and I wasn't sweating at all!

So obviously I have a lot to learn, but I am so happy I did it!!!  I did it!  I am a triathlete!!

Tri #1 and Utah

I think it is about time for me to catch up on this blog!  Quick re-cap for those of you who don't follow my other blog...

I ended up getting the flu and having to be rescued out of the lake during my triathlon.  Boo.  Ryan was taking pictures of all the swimmers--not knowing what was going on--and he got me.  Look closely--I am the one not in the water, but sitting on the back end of the jet ski.  

I was incredibly disappointed, but also incredibly sick.  Such is life.

Despite the illness that was infecting me and then spread to Isaac, we packed up and went out to Utah to visit family.

Audrey, Dylanie and Chloe--we haven't seen Dylanie in about 3 years!

Grammie, Dylanie and Chloe on the Alpine Slide

Lincoln flying high!

The ropes course in Heber

Go Linky!

Isaac, James, Abby, Chloe, Audrey and Ross

Lincoln is going to the top!

Grandpa telling stories (I think he has Lincoln convinced he is part gorilla.)

Doing laundry at "This is the Place"--why aren't they that helpful at home??

Riding horses

Naming all the ducks

Playing with the pigs--look at Royal doing his moves on the left!

Train ride

Playing Minute to Win-it Games

A moose taking a rest in my parents' back yard!

Breakfast with cousins

Eight grandkids=no chance at a decent picture.

Mine.

We were able to pack a lot into our very short trip.  We had to take the girls out of school, so we couldn't stay long, but we loved being able to visit with everyone.  Unfortunately, Ryan's grandma died while we were there--the day before we were going to go visit her!  She was 101 years old, though, so I think it was a good thing for her.  We were able to extend our trip and go to her funeral, which was very nice.