snaiL, Ox and their little ones live in an old house with little/no insulation. So when it's cold outside...it's cold inside.
Little Cat is wearing the following, just to play in the toy room:
diaper
tights
long-sleeved onsie
pants
dress
sweater
fuzzy boots
peaNut is:
naked
in bed
crying about being cold
between the drama and the laundry snaiL REALLY needs the weather to change!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
So this happened
Tonight I made homemade ricotta. 
Right after the 2nd picture was taken Little Cat grabbed the towel straining out the whey and pulled, dumping everything on the floor, breaking the bowl and ruining the ricotta.
Kids are hard.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
My Favorite Things...
- Peanut has a bit of a problem with magnitude/units. This morning he told me he deserved 160 gallons of movies for lay down rest time.
- We do baby sign. While nursing recently Little Cat pulled away, pointed at my boob, signed "hot", and then nursed, pulled away again, signed "hot", went back to nursing. Apparently she doesn't approve of the temperature coming out.
- The other day Peanut prefaced a monologue with, "I'm not a doctor, I just know a lot of stuff".
- We do baby sign. While nursing recently Little Cat pulled away, pointed at my boob, signed "hot", and then nursed, pulled away again, signed "hot", went back to nursing. Apparently she doesn't approve of the temperature coming out.
- The other day Peanut prefaced a monologue with, "I'm not a doctor, I just know a lot of stuff".
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Tantrums and Power
I have a four year old who throws tantrums. He screams, refuses to move, and, occasionally, throws things. He no longer hits. And I am left, often in a public place, with the choice between 'making him behave' and 'teaching him to control himself'. Here is why, in spite of the increased difficulty, in spite of the longer resolution time, in spite of the embarrassment and the loud comments from observers, and having to block those not content to be merely observers, I am choosing to teach rather than to make.
When I was 15 my mother tried to strangle me. In her words, "I didn't know how else to make you shut up". And the truth of the matter is she didn't have another way to shut me up. In fact, in that instance I shoved her off me and left the house and that was the last time she tried to physically enforce her will on my person- because in that scenario I had finally reached a point where my power was equal to hers. She had spent her entire parenthood 'making me behave' and she no longer had the ability to do so. That is the problem with 'making someone behave'- unless you succeed in completely removing their desire to oppose you (and I hope that causes you to shudder when pertaining to another human consciousness) there will come a day when you no longer have the power to 'make' them do anything.
Could I, even without hitting, physically remove my 35 lb 4-year-old from every tantrum situation and force him to calm down? Of course, and I sometimes do when safety for himself or others is a factor. But each time I do I take away his opportunity to come down from the edge of irrationality and overwhelming emotion and control himself. And that is the life skill I want him to achieve. Even if it takes several more years. Even if it tries the very bounds of my patience (hey maybe I'll learn it too) and my husband's patience, even if it makes me look weak to those observing because they see it as coddling or spoiling him, even if we as a family have to avoid situations and places that don't allow us the time to work through this slow process. Because my husband and I have agreed on the endgame we want and the process to get there. And so our question must constantly be, "Am I applying my current superior power to force obedience or am I encouraging self-mastery and personal restraint?". Or in other words, am I:
Making him behave or Teaching him to control himself?
When I was 15 my mother tried to strangle me. In her words, "I didn't know how else to make you shut up". And the truth of the matter is she didn't have another way to shut me up. In fact, in that instance I shoved her off me and left the house and that was the last time she tried to physically enforce her will on my person- because in that scenario I had finally reached a point where my power was equal to hers. She had spent her entire parenthood 'making me behave' and she no longer had the ability to do so. That is the problem with 'making someone behave'- unless you succeed in completely removing their desire to oppose you (and I hope that causes you to shudder when pertaining to another human consciousness) there will come a day when you no longer have the power to 'make' them do anything.
Could I, even without hitting, physically remove my 35 lb 4-year-old from every tantrum situation and force him to calm down? Of course, and I sometimes do when safety for himself or others is a factor. But each time I do I take away his opportunity to come down from the edge of irrationality and overwhelming emotion and control himself. And that is the life skill I want him to achieve. Even if it takes several more years. Even if it tries the very bounds of my patience (hey maybe I'll learn it too) and my husband's patience, even if it makes me look weak to those observing because they see it as coddling or spoiling him, even if we as a family have to avoid situations and places that don't allow us the time to work through this slow process. Because my husband and I have agreed on the endgame we want and the process to get there. And so our question must constantly be, "Am I applying my current superior power to force obedience or am I encouraging self-mastery and personal restraint?". Or in other words, am I:
Making him behave or Teaching him to control himself?
Monday, December 30, 2013
In which you think I'm crazy...
Dear Friends,
In case you didn't remember let me spell it out- I'm pretty crunchy, especially in our parenting style. Of all the things that I do that are crunchy my two favorites are breastfeeding and co-sleeping. This post is (somewhat) about co-sleeping.
I love co-sleeping! I love cuddling with my babies all night long. I love not having to get up to nurse. I love comforting them instantly, instead of waiting until it's developed into full out crying. Sure I get sick of my kids and wish for a little alone time, but that happens when they're awake and being whiny, not asleep and being adorable. In fact co-sleeping is often where/when I recharge my love battery for my kids. I look down at Peanut or Little Cat so sweet and cuddly and remember why I haven't sold them to the first passerby.
Now when people hear about co-sleeping they usually have two main questions:
1. When/where do you have sex?
2. When/How do you eventually get them out of your bed?
I'm not going to answer question #1 (my mother in law reads this!) but obviously it happens since we have two kids.
As to the second question I just figured they'd leave when they were ready. Peanut has his own bed right next to ours (which I heard about from another co-sleeper) and while there were some space issues when Little Cat came home (mostly due to the fact Ox likes co-sleeping as long as no one is sleeping right up against him) but again Peanut has his own bed so even if we weren't bed-sharing with him all the time we were still sleeping in the same room and he could cuddle Ox's warm back or arm. I never feared Peanut or Little Cat would be in our bed until college. One day they would just decide they wanted their own space and voile! we'd move them out. In terms of real age expectations I'd heard up to age seven pretty regularly so I wasn't in any rush. For this reason we have only one 'bedroom' and all the kids toys are in a play room. Except that day seems to have come early!
In the toy room we have a twin bed that we use like a couch (except when family are visiting) and for the past couple days Peanut has been asking to sleep in there. ***It's breaking my heart*** Peanut wasn't a super cuddly baby and so co-sleeping was a time I cherished. Even after he moved to his bed on Ox's side he still slept near me occasionally and almost always crawled in with me after Ox went to work. This change was so quick! He asked to sleep in the living room one night because he wanted more of a light on than we allow in the bedroom and then he just seemed to claim the toy room bed as his sleeping space and has been sleeping there since.
At first I expected it to be a phase but it's been a bit now and he's going strong. I guess it's the next big step in him growing up but I really thought we'd have a couple more years. And so Peanut had grown out of my two favorite parts of crunchy mothering. I know I'll find other favorites but I'm pretty sad about it anyway.
In case you didn't remember let me spell it out- I'm pretty crunchy, especially in our parenting style. Of all the things that I do that are crunchy my two favorites are breastfeeding and co-sleeping. This post is (somewhat) about co-sleeping.
I love co-sleeping! I love cuddling with my babies all night long. I love not having to get up to nurse. I love comforting them instantly, instead of waiting until it's developed into full out crying. Sure I get sick of my kids and wish for a little alone time, but that happens when they're awake and being whiny, not asleep and being adorable. In fact co-sleeping is often where/when I recharge my love battery for my kids. I look down at Peanut or Little Cat so sweet and cuddly and remember why I haven't sold them to the first passerby.
Now when people hear about co-sleeping they usually have two main questions:
1. When/where do you have sex?
2. When/How do you eventually get them out of your bed?
I'm not going to answer question #1 (my mother in law reads this!) but obviously it happens since we have two kids.
As to the second question I just figured they'd leave when they were ready. Peanut has his own bed right next to ours (which I heard about from another co-sleeper) and while there were some space issues when Little Cat came home (mostly due to the fact Ox likes co-sleeping as long as no one is sleeping right up against him) but again Peanut has his own bed so even if we weren't bed-sharing with him all the time we were still sleeping in the same room and he could cuddle Ox's warm back or arm. I never feared Peanut or Little Cat would be in our bed until college. One day they would just decide they wanted their own space and voile! we'd move them out. In terms of real age expectations I'd heard up to age seven pretty regularly so I wasn't in any rush. For this reason we have only one 'bedroom' and all the kids toys are in a play room. Except that day seems to have come early!
In the toy room we have a twin bed that we use like a couch (except when family are visiting) and for the past couple days Peanut has been asking to sleep in there. ***It's breaking my heart*** Peanut wasn't a super cuddly baby and so co-sleeping was a time I cherished. Even after he moved to his bed on Ox's side he still slept near me occasionally and almost always crawled in with me after Ox went to work. This change was so quick! He asked to sleep in the living room one night because he wanted more of a light on than we allow in the bedroom and then he just seemed to claim the toy room bed as his sleeping space and has been sleeping there since.
At first I expected it to be a phase but it's been a bit now and he's going strong. I guess it's the next big step in him growing up but I really thought we'd have a couple more years. And so Peanut had grown out of my two favorite parts of crunchy mothering. I know I'll find other favorites but I'm pretty sad about it anyway.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Yea!
Utah ban on gay marriage declared illegal! This makes me very happy. I didn't feel like I could share this on Facebook since Ox and I share an account and he shares nothing political. I predict Oklahoma as the last holdout in the nation :( but am glad things are moving in the direction of equality.
- snaiL
Friday, November 8, 2013
A Good Day
Sometimes all it takes to go from a bad day to good is getting out of the house and spending time with friends...
Only pic taken at Sam Noble Natural History Museum Monday (with friends: Aubrey, Lillian and Jacob)
Today at Science Museum:
Monday, October 28, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Halloween Festivities Day 1
First we went to Myriad Gardens to visit with old friends we don't get to see nearly enough.
Then we came home got ready and headed to the church Trunk or Treat. As you can see Peanut is a dragon and Little Cat is the knight protecting him from evil dragon hunters
The trunk or treat had an indoor carnival
Then the actual trunk or treating. As the parent of a Little Cat i know no one is fooled by me calling it her plastic pumpkin, she's not going to be allowed to eat any, but wonderful friends were giving out pickles so the Cat had one thing she could love
Sadly we finished up the day by going to say goodbye to one of Peanut's favorite friends and her family who are moving. They are great and we will miss them! (I know this is a horrible picture but when these two are together they don't stay still for a moment)
Let the festivities continue next week...
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