Entries by tag: scared
I am trying not to be scared. I'm really trying. However, I am scared. Very scared.
I have been trying so hard the last few months to gain weight, as I mentioned in an earlier post. I've been working out like the transplant docs want and my sugars have been kick ass.
And then this morning happened.
Last week I weighed 106-107. Today I weigh 101 lbs. That's severe weight loss in a short amount of time, especially for a CF'er. I never weighed that in my life - except in the ICU. I'm terrified.
There are other symptoms that I've kind of ignored I guess, not intentionally, but I just don't like to make big deals about what could be nothing. Things with my digestion haven't been right for probably 1 month, but it's been a slow progression so it's not something that I really worried about. I figured it would straighten itself out.
I've reached my CF clinic and as it's 1.5 hours away and we had a snow storm here, I can't get there. They're sending me to a local hospital for chest and stomach x-rays and sending an antibiotic down via bus. They'll read the x-ray in Halifax and call me with the news.
Gawd, I'm sooo scared. Someone tell me not to be scared. Please.
I'm scared for a number of reasons:
1) such severe weight loss in such a short time
2) leaves me more susceptible to infection
3) lack of reserve if i get sick
4) I am now too underweight to be accepted for transplant
I know I shouldn't worry until we find out what's wrong, but very few people understand how hard it is for me to gain weight. I am 5'6 and now only weigh 101 lbs. The only other times I've lost weight like this was when I have been really sick.
Lung-wise I feel the same as before.
Ok, this is nuts. I am going to think positive and hope for the best. It's probably something simple right? No biggie.
I have been trying so hard the last few months to gain weight, as I mentioned in an earlier post. I've been working out like the transplant docs want and my sugars have been kick ass.
And then this morning happened.
Last week I weighed 106-107. Today I weigh 101 lbs. That's severe weight loss in a short amount of time, especially for a CF'er. I never weighed that in my life - except in the ICU. I'm terrified.
There are other symptoms that I've kind of ignored I guess, not intentionally, but I just don't like to make big deals about what could be nothing. Things with my digestion haven't been right for probably 1 month, but it's been a slow progression so it's not something that I really worried about. I figured it would straighten itself out.
I've reached my CF clinic and as it's 1.5 hours away and we had a snow storm here, I can't get there. They're sending me to a local hospital for chest and stomach x-rays and sending an antibiotic down via bus. They'll read the x-ray in Halifax and call me with the news.
Gawd, I'm sooo scared. Someone tell me not to be scared. Please.
I'm scared for a number of reasons:
1) such severe weight loss in such a short time
2) leaves me more susceptible to infection
3) lack of reserve if i get sick
4) I am now too underweight to be accepted for transplant
I know I shouldn't worry until we find out what's wrong, but very few people understand how hard it is for me to gain weight. I am 5'6 and now only weigh 101 lbs. The only other times I've lost weight like this was when I have been really sick.
Lung-wise I feel the same as before.
Ok, this is nuts. I am going to think positive and hope for the best. It's probably something simple right? No biggie.
- Current Mood:
scared - Current Music:CNN
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Sending good thoughts and prayers your way as…