There are just 3 entire days that I can honestly say I remember everything about, from waking up that morning until going to sleep that night. They are: August 1, 2003 when I was married, December 20, 2006 when Mya was born, and September 11, 2001 when our country was terrorized. I didn't think much about it this morning other than I remembered it was the 7 year anniversary, but on my way driving home I listened to a little patriotic tribute on KBull 93. While listening to the songs and stories being retold, all the memories came flooding in. I realized I don't think I've ever written down my feelings and memories of that awful, historic day and thought I should write it in my blog (since my journal is stored in some box that I don't care to dig out...)
I remember it was a Tuesday morning in my senior year of high school. We were getting ready to leave for school when my mom turned on Good Morning America. She yelled to all of us to come look what was going on. One airplane had hit the World Trade Center in NY. At that point we didn't know if it was an accident but assumed it was some sort of threat. I was 17 years old and had never even heard of the WTC before. Rachelle came in her truck a few minutes later and we left for school talking about the chaos. Once we got to school quite a few kids were discussing it while some kids were just barely hearing about what had happened. My first class was English with Mrs. Peterson. She looked pale and almost like the wind had been knocked out of her. I remember the same look on her face when we found out a fellow classmate had died- I knew it was bad. She already had the TV turned on for us to watch the news develop when the second plane hit. We all just watched in awe. No one said anything for a while. Then everyone started to freak out a little and asking all sorts of questions. That's all we did all period. Mrs P didn't make us do anything but watch the news. After class ended the halls were going crazy. Kids scared, kids laughing, and some singing "It's the end of the world as we know it..." like it was some sort of joke. I still wasn't sure what to make of it all as it seemed so surreal.
Next period was seminary with Bro Simmons. Of course all sorts of 2nd coming questions were asked and that's all the students wanted to talk about. Bro Simmons reassured us that it was a scary thing but as long as we live the gospel and are faithful everything will work out. He went on with his lesson without much more discussion of the attack. Once that hour and a half had past and I got back into the school was when I heard the Pentagon had also been hit. Everything seemed to be spinning so fast, but at the very same time it felt as if we were in slow motion. It's so hard to explain but I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about. Of course 3rd period was Calculus with Ms Lambert. She quickly quieted us down and we went right to work. (haha you gotta love Ms Lambert, the hardest but best teacher I ever had.) Anyway, once she was done with her lecture she surprisingly turned on the TV while we worked on our assignment. Of course our minds were not focused on solving some crazy variable, but trying to figure out what in the world was happening to our country, in a state and city so far away. That's when reports started to filter in about the plane crash in Philadelphia. They had no confirmed reports it was tied to the other terrorist attacks, but all assumptions led to the crazy chaos.
Next came lunch when I finally got to talk to my friends and see what they knew and to see what they were feeling. One detail I don't remember was what we ate for lunch that day... haha Finally the last period I as a TA for my cousin Mr Hooley. I knew he was too laid back and we would be watching the news the last hour. It was so hard to internalize everything that had happened that morning. The planes, the towers, the smoke, the debris, the Pentagon... Everything seemed so distant but yet so personal because it was my own freedom under attack. I didn't know anyone that lived back East, or anyone on the airplanes. A part of me wanted to cry but it felt like a dream or even a movie. This couldn't really be happening? Are we going to war? What other attacks can we expect? So many questions and so much emptiness.
After school, we joined mom on the couch to watch more of the news. That's all that was on- every channel was trying to sort through all the chaos too. Mom filled us in on what she had heard, but it still was all too weird. I remember watching my mom cry looking at the footage of the people on the streets, the firefighters, our President's speech. Deep down I wanted to cry with her but I couldn't come out of my trans . That day was our back to school bash with the YM/YW of the ward. We went up Provo Canyon to the Canyon Glen Park to have a BBQ and games. We did have fun but the mood was different. Everyone seemed a little sad but we were more cheerful with each other. No snide remarks were spoken like the usual combined activities. We all were kinder, more thoughtful, and more positive than we had ever been as a ward. I remember we all kind of freaked out when one airplane crossed the sky later that evening. We knew all the planes had been grounded so we all wondered if it was some military leader. It was such a fun activity but there was a definite solemn mindset throughout the night. Once we got home we watched more news until well after 11:00, when I decided I better get to bed. I'm sure I did a little calculus homework in there somewhere, but all my attention was focused on the status of our nation.
Never before had I really taken an interest in politics. Occasionally I'd hear some students complain about Bush or other politicians, but until then I didn't really care. My opinions were based off my parent's political views. The days and weeks after 9-11, is when I really started to care about my nation's leaders. I hated listening to fellow peers, reporters, and columnists say how this wouldn't have happened had Gore been elected, or how irresponsible Bush was, etc. etc It made me angry to see people turn against our leaders in such a dire time of need. They may not have agreed with all of Bush's political stance, but at a crisis like this he needed more support than ever. Of course there was a great renewal for belief and trust in God, which was great. There were also many that became so patriotic- there was a flag displayed everywhere! Every car, every business, every street, every home had a flag. That made me feel great, our nation united under God- just as the pledge of allegiance states. There were some positive eye-openers that came about because of the terrorist attacks, but I still wonder how different our country would be had it not happened. For months, even the full year after 9-11, everyone was a little more uptight, security was obviously tightened, and everyone kind of lived in fear. I feel things are beginning to loosen back up again, but our country will never be the same. Which of course has its own pros and cons... Even now, the war going on does not have a direct personal impact on me, as no close relative has had to be fighting for my freedoms, let alone to give their life for it. It makes me feel sad that I don't understand or appreciate their sacrifices more than I do. And all of this has stemmed back to a warm Tuesday on September 11th, 2001. A day I will never forget. The sights, the fears, the sounds, the insecurities all wrapped into a 16 hour period. And yet the strangest thought I have is how will my kids (and even future grandkids) reflect on this day? Probably the same way I do on December 7th- when Pearl Harbor was hit- just another day in history...
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