here we go again...

so, my kitchen is still a mess from dinner. Arg. After cooking dinner, cleaning up the mess is the last thing that I want to do, yet there it waits. I usually try to do it right after, but today we dashed out for the kids flu shots which luckily turned out to be mists.

You see, the craziness started when I decided to take some pics of the kids before dinner and the dr. We got out to the beautiful tree and before I was able to take a SINGLE shot, Paige was in tears that continued until we left. I finally got her to calm down, my battery died and we were done. She had pink puffy eyes anyway.

Why is she such a pain sometimes? If only she could see my vision.

And, BTW, this was round two of these pics. The last session, on Sunday, had the same outcome. I think I will buy a Barbie to bribe her with. Jackson is good with the promise of dessert. Love that kid.

So, we rush out the door to get to the dr. Half way there J has to go numero dos so so badly...as in moaning, groaning and crying (literally) in the back seat. We are stuck in construction and just barely going to make it on time, but nope, I really thought he was going to have an accident. We ran into a beauty salon with such urgency they were probably scared. He took care of it and 15 minutes (yes 15!) we were on the road again. Oh the adventures of motherhood.

Feeling a little blah. Wish I was home, my old home. I said that last post too, right. I am just feeling a wee bit lonely these days. I just wish someone would reach out. I know, I know, I should just do it myself, but life is overwhelming enough and I just can't take on one more emotional thing. It would be much easier if people just came to me. Plus, I made squash soup tonight and my kids just didn't appreciate it. Where are you Anne? I need you to come and appreciate with me.

I am going to invite a friend over for P tomorrow. She asks everyday to which I reply, "we don't have any friends" to which she replies, "yes I do." and proceeds to name off all the girls in her nursery class. I wish I was so confident. She even now mentions her previous arch nemesis "Fibian" (Vivian) as a friend. She didn't like her for quite some time because she would take her toys in nursery. I am going to invite her nursery friend because really, it is just me and my insecurities that keep me from calling a ward member I barely know to have her daughter come over. Paige would do it in a second and think nothing of it.

Made a bushels worth of applesauce Tuesday. That is 13 quarts and some. Will do another bushel tomorrow. I borrowed a nifty little applesauce maker which has made the job much easier...no peeling or coring! I like applesauce. I like pork chops and applesauce. Yum.

Jackson is thrilled that he gets to go on a "film" trip next week. Add a cute lisp to him saying "film trip" and it just really doesn't get much cuter.

Does anyone spend much of their day rhyming with their kids and singing songs from PBS kids? I do.

Member the table I mention in every post? It is finished. Let's hear it...Hooray! Now I just have six chairs to finish up. The table looks pretty spiffy though. No one can eat at it though. It is only to look at. It took way too long to redo and I think I might get very angry if anyone mares it in any way.

I feel that way about cleaning too. Must be why I do it so infrequently.

Well, off to deal with the inevitable. and laundry. It never ends, does it?

random bits...

I made a goal to be in bed by 11pm this week. Doesn't seem early to you? It is for me. Baby steps, my friends. I got in bed at 9pm and have been on this silly thing since then. I still have 25 minutes.

Douglas popped an Ambien and has been sawing logs for a while now. He has to be pretty asleep to be okay with my typing. Watch, now that I said that, he will wake up and tell me to turn it off. His machine (breathing machine for his apnea) is making an annoying squeaking noise. He is getting up at 4:30am to study though so I will sleep with a pillow on my head and let it go. I'm nice like that.

My hubby and I are cut from different sleeping molds. There is little to nothing that convinces me to get up at such an insane time. A crying baby, maybe, but since we don't have one, I try to enjoy my peaceful slumber. You know what happens is that my alarm would go off and whatever seemed so important to get up for, would no longer seem so important.

I got a tetanus shot this week. I needed the booster. The shot itself didn't hurt, but my arm has ached and throbbed all week. I didn't remember tetanus shots being so horrible. My other arm even started aching, but just in sympathy, I think.

This was one of those weekends were I really question the whole parenting gig and then wonder what is wrong with me that I sometimes just really don't enjoy being a mother. Don't tell anyone I said that. I love my kids dearly, but I could do without the fighting, bickering, crying, backtalking blah blah blah that goes along with the profession. And really, what would it be like to be able to run in and run out of a store with no car seat to buckle and unbuckle. Boring, I'm sure.

So, I have re-goaled myself to enjoy my job this week. To love my kids more and to get more sleep (because there is a little part of me that thinks that a lack of sleep may contribute to the previous complaint.) I even, just might have, fasted for this. Really, I need that much help. Please tell me I am not alone though. Please.

Talking about professions...I have NO desire to market myself. I don't really want to work right now. Life is a little crazy and I am enjoying the lessened stress from not having to hit the streets running and find clients who will pay me boocoo bucks for pictures. Being a wife and a mom is really enough right now. Not that I would turn down work if it knocked on my door, but I am enjoying the easy life. HA. The day will come when the pocketbook says it is time to put my nose to the grindstone and work, work, work, but not now.

I have been kinda lonely this week and end. Yeah. Just missing friends, family, normal life, or at least the normal I knew. Not that I question being here. This is right, no doubt. But not easy.

I haven't even decorated for Halloween and I don't really want to. Maybe I am pouting. I think I will force myself to get a few things out. My kids would love it and since I am trying to be a good mom, it would make sense.

Haven't put away the groceries from LAST WEDNESDAY. Well, the perishables are, but the rest sits in bags on the basement floor waiting to be put in my makeshift pantry. Slowly I am using it all though, so maybe putting it away isn't entirely necessary, right? Paige can use it in her play kitchen too.

Really it fits right in with the state of my house right now. The dishes are done, but that it about it. There are random things everywhere. Tomorrow is the day to whip this place in order. The sad thing, though is that the whipping in order lasts such a short time and then it is a mess again. (insert heavy sigh here).

Well, I am down to 10 minutes. It was warm today (low 80's), the windows are open, but the air is still. It may be a hot night...temperature wise (wink wink). Wow, and obviously it is getting too late for me to be up. Until next time....

**EDITED TO ADD--when I finally did empty my grocery sacks I found two pounds of lunch meat that got overlooked. Guess next time I will get it done a bit sooner? Nah.**

Do you like ketchup?

I sure do and I am going to be playing a lot of it in the next little while. So, hang on, and enjoy the ride.

Douglas and his good friend Jimbo at the Cider Mill

Jackson on the tractor.

Paige and their friend Cy riding the tractor in the rain.

One of the girls in Paige's dance class brought cupcakes that she made all by herself so Paige begged me to let her make some all by herself too. She did let me crack the eggs and do the oven though. Here she is enjoying the fruits of her labors.

Tasting the best part of the cake...the batter!

Jackson and Paige playing Firechief.

Most firechiefs I know wear buckets on their heads and rain boots. You?

I took the kids to a Children's Expo. They had bounce houses, slides and a circus company that let the kids try their hand at circus acts.



a little juggling...

some stilt walking...I don't think my children are natural circus performers. Darn.

They had a bird station at the expo. J held the bird for a milli-second, but my fearless daughter let them climb all over her.


This is the huge bubble maker at the Hands on Museum. So much fun!


water table
My brother Drew came and stayed with us for a week. It was nice to have company! We wore our Michigan garb to root on the team who is on a winning streak!


Roasting dogs and making smores! Yum Yum!

HAppy Smore eaters.





The kids playing with Drew...


We went raspberry picking. Paige found a flower.


Drew picked only the most perfect raspberries...

Paige would pick and eat. Her raspberries were more juice than anything by the time we finished. I think that little hand frequented the jug.






The fruits of our labors!

Well. It is the end of another week. Douglas is at priesthood and some evil villain possessed my body for a short period of time and I cleaned like a crazy woman. I would, never in my right mind, do that. It isn’t that I don’t love a clean home, because I certainly do, but more so because I work so hard and it is torn apart so quickly. Cleaning tonight involved finding homes for a few of the things that have sat on the floor for a month now, wiping down cupboards, cleaning the stove top, vacuuming, mopping, full kitchen overhaul. Now, I am sipping on a soda and enjoying the quiet of my home.

Douglas and I have been watching a show called CHUCK in the evening. We try to carve (by “we” I mean Douglas some time out before bed to do that together. We have always enjoyed watching TV series and this is a good one. We will watch another when he gets home. It is so strange to have priesthood at 8pm…so late with the time difference! We are really looking forward to sleeping in the morning though. The first session isn’t until noon!

I tried to watch conference on my lap top today. It is so hard to get anything out of it with kids around. I get interrupted so often. It is so hard for them to wait to say the really unimportant important thing they need to say. Sometimes I feel like I shush them too often. Life is always busy and sometimes it is hard to always have a ready ear to listen to such silly things. I know it is important to them though, so I try to always be available.

It was a cold, rainy day today. We had arranged with some friends (Douglas’ friend Jimmy and his wife Sham and their boys—D was roommates with Jimmy his first year at BYU) to go apple picking and to the cider mill to get cider and doughnuts. We went out despite the rain, but only got the doughnuts and cider…no apple picking. I will have to take the kids to do that this week. There are lots of places around when you can pick apples. It is fun. We go through so many apples too. I bet between all of us we eat around 20 apples a week. Yikes. Douglas takes two to school every day. My favorite are the honey crisps. YUM!

They have delicious cider at these places. It reminds me of a place my parents would take us when we were kids…Apple Hill. Of the few things I remember from my childhood, that is one of them. I have a very vivid memory of the place.

The doughnuts were delicious. They were cake doughnuts and they had an apple spice flavor and a pumpkin. Yum Yum. Of course, I can’t think of a doughnut I have had that I didn’t enjoy! I wish they were good for you because I love them. As a kid my grandpa would always take us to get Winchell’s doughnuts on the way home from church when we were in Studio City visiting. Not exactly the best Sabbath day activity, but as a kid is was a special time. I remember it fondly. That and the $100 bill game we would play with my grandpa. He would have us hold out our thumb and pincher fingers and he would drop a bill through it. If we caught it we could keep it. It is much harder than it seems. I think in the end he would always let us catch it.

The kids had a blast, despite the rain. There was a cute place to ride trikes, a big tractor they could climb on, animals, and other fun things. When we finally left Jackson was so wet he stripped down to his undies and rode home that way. What a life.

We had a busy week. Let’s be honest, life is always busy, it seems! J is slowly adjusting to school. He loves it, but has some issues with obeying the teacher and being good in class. Shucks, I never thought it would be my kid that caused disturbances in class! I hope it is just an adjustment phase and will pass. I made a little chart for his teacher to mark if he is good in class. He got one star, one no star and two half stars. He gets to earn computer time for getting stars.

Tonight at dinner he told us that his music teacher doesn’t know, “I am a Child of God”. I asked him if he had asked her that which he had and she had said it sounds like a nice song. Such innocence. I love it!

I have started really making the kids do chores. Age appropriate, of course, but I am using myjobchart.com to let them earn points for the different jobs they do and earn rewards. They have been really great about getting their things done. J has to empty the dishwasher every day, P the silverware, straighten books, garbage, clean out the car, set the table, clear the table, help clean bathrooms, pick up toys, dust etc. I really want my kids to be hard workers and I figured now is the time to instill that in them!

J started soccer this week as well. Being the space cadet I am, I thought I signed him up for the Wednesday class when in actuality he is in the Monday class. I am glad because the Wednesday class had older kids in it and one of the kids just bugged everyone. The coach was a dufus (seriously) and I had to stand on the sideline and keep this annoying boy from touching all the other kids. J was lazy about the whole thing and just wanted to play on the playground and not have to do soccer (though he was the one who told me he wanted to.) I hope getting into a class with more kids his age will be better for him.

There is a really fun museum here in town called the “Hands on Museum”. I am trying to take P every week and she is loving it. There are all sorts of science projects that can try, play houses, building toys, huge bubble makers, water tables, beehives. It is really cool. It will be a great winter time activity!

Jackson’s school had a fundraising night at Chuck E. Cheese. Douglas was actually able to come (which was nice on many levels.) We really enjoyed sitting and talking while the kids ran around playing. It was nice because they stamped everyone with one of those invisible stamps that can only be seen with a certain light. Each family was a different number and when you left they would check to make sure the adults were the same number as the kids. That way, no one could walk off with your children. I thought that was really well thought out. Jackson would give away so many of his tokens to other kids (so Jackson to share like that). Paige was very conservative with using her tokens. She liked the rides and would wander around for some time before deciding on exactly what she wanted to do. I think she only used about 8 tokens the entire night. Douglas and I will definitely take the kids back there.

Douglas has been so busy in the evenings meeting with recruiters. Different companies come to the school and put on presentations so you can get to know the company. He has been excited about meeting all this different companies he is interested in. He even got to go to a free happy hour J put on by one of the companies!!

So, I am one step closer to hanging pics in my living room. I have made the goal to do it for the last three weeks or so and this week I finally made progress. I want to do a big gallery on the long wall so I cut paper out in the size of all the frames and arranged those on the wall. I think I like how it looks so now I just need to hang the actual frames. I have to put hangers on the back of most of them. That seems like so much work. But, I will get it done. I am hoping I love it when all is said and done.

Did I mention that I am refinishing my kitchen table. I sanded down the top and then painted the legs white and stained the top a dark brown. I spent the past week doing things slowly so everything had time to dry. Well, Friday night I had it sitting out on the driveway with the intention of bringing it in the house before we went to bed. Douglas and I watched our TV show and when we came upstairs to move it in, we were too late. Everything was soaking, including the table. We quickly dried it off, but it was too late. I will need to resand and stain it again. Rrrr….all that work down the drain. The legs, luckily are still fine.

I read a new parenting book called 123 Magic. I have really liked it. It has made a big difference with getting the kids to stop doing things they shouldn’t. It seems that I read these things and am really good about doing them for a while and then slowly I get out of the habit and everything goes back to how it was. I guess I should call it the discipline cycle. Jackson has really been difficult at home too, so I am looking for some more positive, consistent ways to get cooperation.

Well, it is Sunday and I have spent the day in the kitchen. I watched conference on my computer and made Doty Beans, white bread and pumpkin waffles (YUM!). Doty Beans are a total comfort food. It is a recipe passed down from my Great Grandma Doty. I ate it growing up and even now, when I make them, it makes me feel home. Not physically home, of course, but close to my family. You eat the beans on top of white bread (usually Wonder brand). They are a simple concoction of white beans, onion, bacon, tomato soup, baking soda, salt and pepper. Sounds strange, but trust me, there is a delicious hominess to them.

It is definitely fall here. I have my electric blanket on the bed and will possibly be getting one for the kids. Paige woke up cold a few times last night. We still haven’t turned the heat on, though I think the day is close for that! The leaves are changing colors. It is great to enjoy a real fall…such a gorgeous time of year.

I finally found the kids coats for the winter. I have been stressing about that. I found them at the Lands End Overstock. I still need to get them pants, boots, hats and gloves. What??? This is going to be quite the experience. I bought myself a coat to. I tried to find the warmest one I could!!

Well, there you go…life in the Shaw house. It is finally feeling like home.