Eat,pray,love....

Not a reference to the book or movie....but to last night. You see, I've never denied God's power or His constant provision in my life, but I know I don't recognize it enough. Do I praise Him ENOUGH for His faithfulness and grace in my journey? We recently received a huge answer to prayer. Something we have been praying for for several years. I mean constantly praying for. I began to feel bad for our small groups that heard us state it repeatedly, because I could feel how annoying it sounded to bring it up every week. Yet, we did.
  It took us on different journeys. The experience transformed Jer. He prayed, he doubted, he prayed, he questioned....all expected on such a route. He didn't fully trust that God would answer our prayer....until right before He did of course. My journey somehow was accompanied with peace. And if you know me at this stage on my life.....I don't couple "peace" with much happening in my surroundings. Yet, God gave me peace about it early on that He had it under control. Maybe it was so that I could encourage Jer. Maybe it was because once I committed to praying for it, it was easier to have peace and trust than carry around the anxiety. (although I wish I could learn that lesson for all the other anxiety I carry around)....either way, the peace was a welcoming component of the experience, yet made the miracle no less spectacular. It has been a long road, and while this miracle is just another in the long list of works He has done in our lives, due to the specificity of it, it's easier to recognize. So we decided, we needed to attempt to praise Him in such a way that the amount of time and effort put into thanking Him and acknowledging His power was not completely outweighed by all the time and effort we spent asking..... Make sense? So, we agreed that a party was in order. A Praise Party! What do you do at Praise party? I asked myself the same question, and of course did what any American would do....googled it. Not much luck.
       We invited friends from our two small groups. (one that we lead and one we attend) and another family that has been praying with us. I sent out an evite, asking everyone to think about God's faithfulness in their lives and bring storieś and scriptures to share. We wanted to make it clear that this wasn't a party to celebrate us, not even specifically to celebrate our miracle. The purpose was to Praise God. To praise him for continually working in our lives and providing in ways that were simple, extreme, ordinary and even bizarre. To praise Him for his nature and character. To worship Him. So I researched praise and worship scriptures, and made a little printout for everyone to think and reflect on throughout the evening. We had a huge BBQ and the kids all played and ran wild. After we ate and fellowshipped, we gathered together. I read the verse that I felt led to for this particular situation: Psalms105:1-5
Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done. Sing to Him, sing praise to Him; tell of His wonderful acts. Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek The Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Remember the wonders He has done,His miracles, And the judgements He has pronounced.
Then Jer shared a little. We had jars of praise scriptures that we passed around and took turns reading. Then we opened the floor for other stories of praise. At the end, I joked about my real worship preference being music and song, but I didn't want to make some people in our group uncomfortable so I would do it on my own time :).....but through a series of events throughout the night, at the end, everyone thought it felt right to sing a little. We gathered whatever kids weren't already out with us, and tried to think of songs we all knew. (next time we'll have the guitar and song list ready!) It was powerful. It was purposeful. And I know it pleased Him. We concluded with a word of prayer. We all left that night feeling renewed and revived in Him. A sort of revival. A Praise revival. I write about all of this, not to boast or elevate any of our actions. But to possibly inspire others. We serve an incredible God. He created us purposefully, intentionally, and loves us uniquely through our faults and choices. But when we honor Him and trust Him with our lives......what a rewarding experience to see Him at work. As a parent, I relate most of my spiritual walk with my experiences with my children. ( although my parenting is so sketchy compared to the love of our Heavenly Father!) but I know how it feels when my children obey and honor me. (it's a rare occasion, but I do know) then when they have grateful hearts!?!? That genuine heart is more powerful then any empty words or action. So I want to continue. -Continue to praise Him for who He is, what He has done, and what He has in store. I told all the kids that came through at VBS when we were learning some extreme bible stories....."Now that's CRAZY faith! Extreme faith! To trust that God can do that!?".
 Yet, I'm learning.....I do.
I'm telling ya, you should too.:)

Dance Dance!

(you can't tell in the pic and I can't get the video to work, but the disco ball works over the cake- so fun!)

Ian turns 7! The big milestone! In the Stockett household he is officially ready to 1)start making his own lunches for school 2) help with the dishes 3) get a higher allowance and add a new chore........

We had dance themed party. I was relieved when he chose this because it sounded fun, and I wouldn't have to make another stinkin superhero cake. ;) As usual I'm having trouble uploading many of my pics. But it was sooooo fun.

We played Limbo, Freeze Dance, had a Dance off, and did pizza and cake.

I walked into the living room, and everyone else was outside or upstairs but this precious gal and Ian (a friend from school he had invited). Days prior he had told me about her and said, "She's REAL nice and she's flexible!" lol. I had to hold back my laughter while I questioned how he determined that. We concluded that she took gymnastics and Ian was inferring. I guess Ian was trying to show her he was pretty bendy himself....

At one point, it got a little hairy, so Jer proclaimed it was time to play, "Are you smarter than ME?" He asked questions and they quietly raised their hands. I love my hubs...

I'm not sure what I like best about this pic. Ian- almost as tall as me, trying to twirl me....A sweet girl trying to get Libby to dance and Libby looking at her like she's crazy.....or the disco ball on our coffee table.....

Come on teeth. Come back.

I'm shocked that Libby didn't scream, "My Turn!My Turn! Happy beeday to me!Happy beeday to Libby!" like she normally does....

Well, we made it. We made it 7 years with an active, fun loving, gentle, brainy, absent minded, blue eyed boy. We made it through thick and thin, amazing and annoying, stunning and surprising, and moments that we'll cherish forever. We also made it through the birthday party.

14 kids, 1 toddler, 2 parents. (us).

Actually- it was one of the better parties, I'd say. Jer and I tagged team. He went into it with a great attitude and was prepared to conquer the night, instead of be annoyed. The kids were wild, excited and full of energy and noise. What better party than a dance party?!

lol. I giggle even now as I replay the night.

I think even Jer and I learned a few new dance moves from the kids.....

needs (part 2)

Libby and her friend playing princesses. She would wear these every second if she could. They're a great discipline incentive. ;)

Trampoline Music. Do you think all the neighbors enjoy hearing 3 young children belt out tunes on recorders? (whew. My ears just throb thinking about it)and THAT'S why they are currently outdoor toys.....

So you might think this was pre-game footage...? Nope. This was the night before. They slept in their uniforms. Sooooooo excited.

So remember that post when I said I felt like God reminded me that He knows what I need, and He'll take care of it?

I feel like the last 4 weeks he has been working overtime to show me that. I'm not sure where to begin. It probably started with the......diet. This is the last time I'll mention it, because I don't want to be one of those people who goes on and on about something ....you know what I mean.

But somehow I've miraculously been able to stick to it and that in itself is amazing. Normally- anytime I try to eat less of something, I think about it more and consequently want it even more. Doing with Jer has helped. Anyway, we're on the 4th week and I've lost 11 pounds! (Jer is rockin too with over 25 pounds!) Woot Woot! My body is still stretched out, and by no means anything to "write home about"....but just to see results has felt soooooo encouraging. I (heart) my new workout program. It kicks my butt, and is done in 25 minutes. That has been great having my mornings back, my devotion time, and ....I just feel better. It's crazy how your physical condition is linked so tightly with your psyche and emotional state. So, my tiny little soap box- if anyone is wanting to do something or thinking about some type of change-----do it. It makes a WORLD of difference-- simply in how you feel.:) Okay, I'm done.

Libby has been doing better. I wake her up at 5am and take her potty and then we've alleviated most of the floor peeing. Hopefully we are moving past that. (the relieving on her bedroom floor) Utterly exhausting cleaning carpet everyday....

I answered an ad in Craig's list to teach......CHESS. lol.

Before you chuckle or scoff, I may not be Bobby Fischer, but I did teach chess several years ago at school and we have a great curriculum. I went out to Boise and did it for the first time today. It went well, all things considering. It's for a home schooling co-op, and the kids range in ages 5-12. (that part is tough) But we're figuring out a system. It feels wonderful to be with kids again and I need the money so- I'm going for it!

You may have noticed the little link to the right of my blog? I finally am taking the plunge. Most of you know, I've been baking since Jr. High and often do it for others. I have been hesitant to do any formal business because of the time/effort it takes from existing responsibilities. But....we need the money, and Lib is finally getting a little more manageable, so I finally felt compelled to go ahead and do it. I don't intend to get rich off it or anything, but every little bit helps. Check out the site. And give mad props next time you talk with a web designer. That stuff is SO TOUGH. It took me DAYS to figure everything out.

Lastly, I just feel more fulfilled. Maybe it is from feeling more content about myself, maybe it is from having some outside passions to invest in. Maybe it's drawing closer to God. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above. Whatever it is....it's a small, quiet "joy" that I have been waking up with every morning.

I kinda like it. :)

Christmas Break

A few more days and we'll be back to the normal schedule, and then some- with basketball starting this week. Christmas break has been......surprisingly- amazing. I'm not sure what has made it so wonderful. I can't pin point why behavior has been so angelic. (well that's not an adjective that I should ever pair up with my kids- but you get the picture) Here are some possibilities: 1) Grandma Lynn blessed us with a trampoline for Christmas! Its impact- is more than I can put into words. The kids LOVE it. Libby wakes up asking to play on the "Trampaleena". They can all play together. They can get out all their energy. They are caged in. Need I say more? It's amazing to look out the window and see their laughing faces. Simply amazing. Thanks Grandma!
2) Luke has his playmate back. They have really been getting along great. Maybe they are maturing. Maybe it's just excitement about new Christmas toys. I'll take it either way.
3) Libby seems more content when they are all home. It's crazy, she will play better by herself when they are around, then when they aren't. It appears she feels more comfortable and happy when she knows they are there.
4) More individualized time? I've strangely been able to give all of them some one-on-one. It's been nice. Individuals can really get lost in a group. It's hard to completely know your child when they are constantly changing and you don't have much time alone with them to see it.
5) Excitement. Christmas was wonderful. We missed seeing Jer's folks- but are planning to next week. The kids had a great time with their new lego sets, Mario Karts and the cherished "tramp".

Chess? Good thing I had to teach it in school a few years ago- or he would beat me in no time.

They got new food for the kitchen (Thanks Grandma Linda!) and had fun planning meals and playing house. Ian was the dad and all of the sudden I heard his manly voice- declaring that it was time for prayer. The only reason I was able to catch this, is because Ian's prayers resemble Obama's speeches. He has these intentional, powerful pauses in them.....it. is. hilarious.

Pirates that day...

celebrating mom's big 3-0! Thirty is the new twenty!

Making pizza together. That's a challenge.

Trying to ice skate. this was a bust.

Christmas morning!

Pillow pets from aunt Shannon and Uncle Darin! HUGE hit!

And normal everyday fun of dumping my folded clean clothes pile and playing games in the laundry baskets. and THAT's why I can't go off and do things while they are playing for extended periods.

So- it's been great. It's been fulfilling. Maybe another reason I feel good is that I'm (whah whahhhhhh) dieting. I know- go ahead and gasp. Not because you think I'm a size 0, but because you know my LOVE and passion and obsession and compulsion and..and.and.my relationship with food. I've always been able to balance it out with my workout plans and being so busy at work - with no time for increased calories. But now that I'm making several more meals a day at home....I'm in the danger zone. Jer and I are both trying to be more aware of our food intake and the nutritional value (or lack there of) in the foods that we eat or snack on. So, it's been a week. We have our "weigh-in" tomorrow. ;) I would post the before pictures, but I vomit a little in my mouth when I look at them. If he sticks to it, he will SHED pounds- just like the guys in biggest loser. I'll tinker by and maybe get a few here and there. Mostly, I want my body toned again. I got a new workout DVD series for my Bday, and it's been great. It's shorter in time but more intense, so I can do it in the mornings and not have workouts hanging over my head all day. That has probably relieved a LOT of stress. That and the fact that potty training is over- and I will never have to do it again. ;) Unless God gets real humorous and works past the tubal ligation.

needs

Lego Mania. My kids love them! When someone asked Ian recently what he wanted- he said, "Legos, I guess! I just love them so much!" Of course I am thrilled by this....and that it makes him forget about the popular DS (hand held Nintendo) that he also wants- since everyone else talks about it. It's also a nice quiet activity to do together. Now- don't misinterpret this picture and a later one to follow. My kids do NOT play quiet legos for endless hours. The boys probably could. But then Little Miss Thing walks up and tries to be a part of it and it always inevitably results in screaming and fighting.
She's kind of stuck- I get it. She's old enough to want to be included, but not mature enough to play with what they are playing. It is a CONSTANT challenge, and it's burning me out, to put it mildly. She doesn't want to just play with me or play alone, or play a modified version of what they are playing. I'm sure much of it is the age/phase she is in. But we have this new angle that I haven't had to deal with through this phase- not getting along with siblings. And we were completely wrong in thinking she was the passive easy-going one (as assumed during infancy) I'll take the baby stage any day- over this stuff. There are so many thoughts that fly through my head,while I attempt to survive and actually enjoy my family....Its difficult to untangle them, no less get them out through words. My natural strength of positivity seems buried and overthrown by the constant power struggles or demands of a simple day. I know my life or parenting is no exception. Moms have done this for years, and it was intense back then, just as it is now. I've been thinking about my past a lot lately. Thinking of exciting times, fun times, times I just felt so happy, so fulfilled. I've wrestled with the thoughts of how I can acquire that presently when so much of my actions rest upon theirs. And it isn't frequent that all 3 children are pleasantly obeying and doing kind, thoughtful things and the whole day and night is peaches and cream. At least with teaching, I had the mic. If fun seeped from my pores,....it was likely to be poured on others and ignite. Obviously it wasn't peaches and cream all the time either...but it is easier to get a group to go with you...than a diverse population of 3. At least that is what it feels like.
So I've then I realized several things....
a) Buck up Joy. It's not going to be easy. It is what you make of it. The hard days (months, years...) suck, but no phase is forever.
b) Quit living/thinking in the past. You won't be available for God to use you in the present. You'll miss everything around you.
c) It's not all about you. Yes, it's more "fun" when you aren't having to be responsible for 3 other human beings and your moods don't piggy off of theirs....and you can hang out with other adults without bending over backwards looking for a babysitter to tackle your family circus.
d)and this is my new prayer, asking God to give me peace in the here and now...and I sit here with tears knowing His answer:
Joy, I will fulfill you.
I made you, I know what you need.
I know you need people, relationships, and passions to drive you.
Trust Me.

Santa himself.

Program pictures. It was packed and hard to get any good shots. There were 2 other classes to the left of the picture.

Ugly sweater party with friends....Jer stayed home with Lib since it had been a "Toddler Day" and she was in no shape for an evening party.

Christmas Party with my girlfriends....

Have a good Christmas!

As hairy as the last few weeks have been, and despite a few days of break downs and tears (from me and the children)....last night I was reminded how rewarding and important parenting is. Ian had his school Christmas performance and he was......Santa! The day that he informed me of his role (months ago) I was shocked, impressed, excited anddddddd a little scared for the ham to come out during a serious performance. But he was so terrific. He had practiced for the part for weeks and the music teacher is so organized, that I was hopeful that he would pull it off. My stomach was in knots while we sat in the chairs waiting for it to start. During the day performance, that I just happened to witness because of helping at Luke's Christmas party, his Santa pants fell down and he had to deal with his first encounter of....the loud and cruel sounds of laughter seemingly directed at you. Once we talked about it in the evening, and I explained to him it was a "funny" thing, not that they were making "fun of you"- he laughed about it and told everyone he knew about the incident.
My dear friend watched Libby during the program and Luke (of course) sat so perfectly for it, and we could just watch and be proud of one child at a time. He did amazing. I was sooooo proud of his focus, his ability to stand still, his courage (huge audience and four 1st grade classes) and his precious personality. How could this be the little 4 lb baby that I once held? I have a feeling I'll wonder that repeatedly as time soars by....(I'm trying to upload the video, but it is taking FOREVER!!!)
On other fronts-the boys also participated in the Living Christmas Tree program. HUGE musical with 5 performances. They made it through. I think it really opened them up to singing in general. We have a little preschool performance that Libby and Luke are in this Sunday night. It should also be precious....
maybe I should save my toddler venting for another post. This one is fairly positive thus far. But- it's a good thing this is the last toddler I will raise.....I don't think I'd get out alive with another.....

stick a fork in me-

bound to happen....
Multiple good days in a row- means a storm is eventually coming...
No storm. Just a normal rough day, I suppose. Every kid is trying me. No one wants to play together nicely. Everyone seems to have some sort of talking back to a simple request or command.
and I'm spent.