Ahhh. I've made it through 5 Christmas parties (2 left to go), brief holiday baking (for the Christmas parties), snow days (a.k.a. putting on hats and gloves for 3 kids- for usually only a 5-10 minute period), Grinch Day, Polar Express Day, and now I only have a few major events to trudge through. (plus of course- 3 separate Christmases) But that's supposed to be the fun part, right? Since when did Christmas become SO MUCH work? Oh, yeah....since I became a working mom of 3 with zero time to do much more than survive. sigh.
Things are going well, but God definitely gave me a wake up call. Our schedule is too packed. If the kids were perfect angels and no housework or laundry had to be done, (especially the cooking and cleaning of dinner) and our careers weren't mentally sucking the life out of us some days- than maybe we could pull it off. But since that isn't the case....it's starting to take a toll on me. Especially the days when the kids are fighting and I don't have positive time with them to balance out my discipline that occurs as soon as we get home. Plus- anytime you have any extra drama or emotions - it just fills the brim to the top. At work- there were some issues that came up and it put me into overload. One morning I had to drive all the way home to take my babysitter wipes (thanks to my diarrhea son...)On the way there- I cried the first tear since labor. Maybe that's the problem- maybe I should have more surrender moments- calling on God to give me his strength instead of relying on my mine. Sometimes my positive, "I can do this!" attitude unintentionally surpasses "God will get me through this...." and I get sideswiped when one day, or week- I can't.
I can get over not having the cutest house with the most updated decor, trendy clothes, or the cleanest, most well organized home. When I have company, I would love to try out new recipes, and awe them with a style and taste. When the holidays come around- I long for amazing decorations and to bake for everyone I know. But I don't have time. We're doing good to all have clean underwear. I often think of friends and people that I would love to bless with a card or gift in the mail when occasions arise. But the one thing I can't go mediocre on is my parenting. I don't want to just "get-by". Everything else can be put on the back burner, but that. So when that feels like it's getting cheated- I feel really rotten.
I can get over not having the cutest house with the most updated decor, trendy clothes, or the cleanest, most well organized home. When I have company, I would love to try out new recipes, and awe them with a style and taste. When the holidays come around- I long for amazing decorations and to bake for everyone I know. But I don't have time. We're doing good to all have clean underwear. I often think of friends and people that I would love to bless with a card or gift in the mail when occasions arise. But the one thing I can't go mediocre on is my parenting. I don't want to just "get-by". Everything else can be put on the back burner, but that. So when that feels like it's getting cheated- I feel really rotten.
So, somethings gotta give......maybe the break will be just what we need. Or maybe it will give me time to pray and listen for what God's plan is, so that I can follow him, instead of being Ms. Independent.
