Often, it is easier said than done. But it takes courage, and trust to lift up that foot and stepping into the unknown.
You ask me how? when my heart is covered with nothing but fear? I totally can relate with that. Trust me I do. I still do... The fear of the unknown. What is going to happen in 5 years time? Where would i be?
I am personally a planner. I love to plan, to know. to be secure. But,
A man can plan, but the Lord establish his steps. - Proverbs 19:21
Let me share with you something, I was totally planning this 5 year relationship thing with my former boyfriend. But turns out that, God has bigger plans. We broke up... and I realised something. We plan so much is because we want to know the future. Know what is going to happen, in some sense, establishing your own security. But instead, God wants us to make Him our security.
Dont get me wrong, it is awesome to make plans, we dont wanna be disorganise as well, isnt it? But i guess, for me, speaking from a personal experience, God wants us to consult Him, first. He wants us to let Him take the wheel. On the side note, which reminds me of the song- Jesus take the wheel, haha.
I guess it is also a sense of fully surrendering, and trusting Him that- all things will turn out for our good.
Be brave, place that foot out. And trust that God did not make you to fail. Regardless, they might be some small bumps on the road, but He is there to guide you to your destination. He did not design you to fail. But to lift you up.
Love, Amanda
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
What lies beneath
Often people don't see, the tears you shed. the time when you cried out for God so badly. Often people don't hear, the prayers you pray in the secret place. Often they dont know, the hurt and pain that you go through. Often people don't realise, that smile on your face, it had took a lot of courage to put on.
People always think that we have it all together. To be honest, i don't have it "all together". I may seem happy on the outside, but they don't know the struggles on the inside. The hurt and pain that hit us, and comes to haunt us sometimes. the helpless anticipation, trying to find natural remedies to relieve that pain instantaneously.
But above all these, what lies beneath is a soul that is vulnerable, that is so precious to Him. A soul that is soft and tender, that he can make it His home. A soul that is willing to be shaped, willing to trust. Willing to be refine. Willing to surrender. A soul of gold.
And, I can tell you, He is looking for that.
In our weakness, His strength is perfect.
Love, Amanda
People always think that we have it all together. To be honest, i don't have it "all together". I may seem happy on the outside, but they don't know the struggles on the inside. The hurt and pain that hit us, and comes to haunt us sometimes. the helpless anticipation, trying to find natural remedies to relieve that pain instantaneously.
But above all these, what lies beneath is a soul that is vulnerable, that is so precious to Him. A soul that is soft and tender, that he can make it His home. A soul that is willing to be shaped, willing to trust. Willing to be refine. Willing to surrender. A soul of gold.
And, I can tell you, He is looking for that.
In our weakness, His strength is perfect.
Love, Amanda
Monday, June 9, 2014
I don't understand but I trust
A lot things has been happening. Many that i cant fathom nor understand. going through this season just doesnt make sense, but i believe for a greater purpose. to keep that hope in my heart burning.. and never fading.
Ok, so where do i start.
I have been going through this whole thing for some time. it feels like ages, but it actually isnt. but throughout this time, i know that God is with me. Throughout thick and thin, through the burning flames and fire. He is. and He is with you as well.
I have learnt that, healing is a process that you cant rush. You cant fast forward healing. Though i would really like to fast forward this whole painful process. Emotional healing is the last thing i would want to experience. I would never want anyone to go through it.
The process of loosing someone that you trusted, that you thought you could have a life with. All your dreams and hopes crushed at that instant. The process of feeling unworthy.
The problem is not you- it is him/her. there is nothing wrong with you. you are totally an awesome person without a doubt. it took some time to make me realised that, he does not deserve me. Imagining loving the wrong person this much, how much more can you love the correct person?
Though from time to time, the pain would come and remind you of that you could have. the "what ifs", the special days, the moments that you shared. it is hard, i can tell you. sometimes I wanna numb the pain but I couldn't. though i would like to think that it is possible. but God can heal the pain. and time can as well. time helps definitely, for me.
As time pass, memories fade. feelings fade. It is not easy at first i can say, but i promise you, through this process, you are birthing another new you. And character, that is rare. that cannot be found in anyone else.
We do not know what the end process is like, but I am sure God knows. and He sees the bigger picture when we dont. Throughout this process, there is also trust. Trusting God that everything will turn out for our good, even though nothing seems right at this very moment.
One of my closest friend once said, in that process, there is refining. Refining is painful and it is hard but given a choice. There is gold hidden beneath your pain. Often, it is the only way true character is formed - by going through the fires of refinement. But better fires of refinement and gold than a rusty piece of useless metal.
I hope this post helped you to understand or even with the idea that God is here to help not to crush you down. I will blog as often as I can.
Regardless people read it or not. It helps me too.
Love, Amanda
Ok, so where do i start.
I have been going through this whole thing for some time. it feels like ages, but it actually isnt. but throughout this time, i know that God is with me. Throughout thick and thin, through the burning flames and fire. He is. and He is with you as well.
I have learnt that, healing is a process that you cant rush. You cant fast forward healing. Though i would really like to fast forward this whole painful process. Emotional healing is the last thing i would want to experience. I would never want anyone to go through it.
The process of loosing someone that you trusted, that you thought you could have a life with. All your dreams and hopes crushed at that instant. The process of feeling unworthy.
The problem is not you- it is him/her. there is nothing wrong with you. you are totally an awesome person without a doubt. it took some time to make me realised that, he does not deserve me. Imagining loving the wrong person this much, how much more can you love the correct person?
Though from time to time, the pain would come and remind you of that you could have. the "what ifs", the special days, the moments that you shared. it is hard, i can tell you. sometimes I wanna numb the pain but I couldn't. though i would like to think that it is possible. but God can heal the pain. and time can as well. time helps definitely, for me.
As time pass, memories fade. feelings fade. It is not easy at first i can say, but i promise you, through this process, you are birthing another new you. And character, that is rare. that cannot be found in anyone else.
We do not know what the end process is like, but I am sure God knows. and He sees the bigger picture when we dont. Throughout this process, there is also trust. Trusting God that everything will turn out for our good, even though nothing seems right at this very moment.
One of my closest friend once said, in that process, there is refining. Refining is painful and it is hard but given a choice. There is gold hidden beneath your pain. Often, it is the only way true character is formed - by going through the fires of refinement. But better fires of refinement and gold than a rusty piece of useless metal.
I hope this post helped you to understand or even with the idea that God is here to help not to crush you down. I will blog as often as I can.
Regardless people read it or not. It helps me too.
Love, Amanda
Sunday, January 27, 2013
You are more
Was just doing my quiet time and listening to random Christian songs that was playing on my iTunes. This song "you are more" by Tenth Avenue North came on. This song was introduced to me a long time ago... A very beloved sister of mine told me to listen to this song when i wasnt a Christian back then. I didnt know the meaning of the lyrics.. Well, I hardly even knew anything about Christianity anyway.
There goes the lyrics..
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
Previously, the chorus "You are more than the choices that you've made" only struck my mind. Now, listening to it again on repeat, realising Jesus gave up so much just for us. To be remade, and to be made whole again. The songs goes on and on about God renewing and he remade us again and again. Through those thick and thin, God has ALWAYS been there. He was always there to meet me, to catch me.
It's true, I have been remade.
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
Previously, the chorus "You are more than the choices that you've made" only struck my mind. Now, listening to it again on repeat, realising Jesus gave up so much just for us. To be remade, and to be made whole again. The songs goes on and on about God renewing and he remade us again and again. Through those thick and thin, God has ALWAYS been there. He was always there to meet me, to catch me.
It's true, I have been remade.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New year resolution.
Holla! Happy 2013! By God's grace, We all survived 2012!
So, as usual. Any new year's resolution? I cant think of any actually... Especially things/people that I have to commit to. But Ben texted me, "by God's strength and my support, I'm sure you wouldnt be disappointed by the end of 2013!
Okay, lets start the list now.
1. I yearn for more and more of God everyday. Pursuing God everyday, receiving new revelations everyday.
That's my main priority actually.
2. Less of me, more of God
3. Still in a godly relationship with Ben. ^^
4. Maintaining my grades...
5. Step up into leadership in church.
6. More friends in uni!
7. Take care of myself! and do not get sick that often. cause there is no one to take care of me :((
8. Keeping my apartment clean (at all times)
Are these counted as New Year Resolutions?
Happy 2013!
Love,
Amanda
will update more of my recent revelations soon. I'm sick by the way. Pray for me. xx
Monday, December 31, 2012
Realising.
Realising we only live everyday once. I should update this blog of mine.
God has been so good throughout this year! Despite of the spiritual attacks, weird drama, nightmares, and *i do not even wanna think of it* assignments. I wanna give a big applause and shoutout to God! For helping me getting through all these, and still loving me throughout. Ahhh, where do you find a God like that anyway?
Realising the things that i went through, God always place someone there to help me. And fighting it to reach Him. Sometimes, God can only help us this much. Always wondering, oh, God.. Since you are all-so-knowing. You have got the whole universe in Your hands. why does bad terrible things still happen to me/or my love ones? And when i dont get my answers, I go, You dont get whole of me! Please dont hold an offended heart, this thing will eat us alive if we allow it too. It will be an amazing thing, if we come to God and say, God, you know what? I dont need the answers. Because more than i want answers, I want You.
Realising healing starts when you open up. The same principal when you opened up to let Him in into your heart. He will start doing things you couldnt imagine.
Bringing happiness next year and leaving sadness behind, 2013! Bigger year ahead, one year older, one year wiser?
Love and wishes
Amanda
Monday, September 24, 2012
thoughts
Indescribable feelings.
So surreal.
Responded to Your love nine months ago.
Woke up this morning, feeling so loved by my Beloved.
Knowing that He was always waiting for me to come home.
So faithful, so constant.
He knows my every move. took away all of my sins, delivered me from the evil.
Blessed with wonderful people in my life.
Swept me away with Your love, your sovereign grace.
nothing else matters.
Beautiful, amazing God.
my Comforter, always there.
He covers me with the blanket of comfort.
He protects me from the evil.
He showers me with His love.
I'm in love with You.
The more I seek You, the more I find You.
The more I find You, the more I love You.
I wanna sit your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand.
Lay back at You and breath, feel Your heartbeat.
This love is so deep, more than I can comprehend.
Its overwhelming.
Your Love is overwhelming.
So surreal.
Responded to Your love nine months ago.
Woke up this morning, feeling so loved by my Beloved.
Knowing that He was always waiting for me to come home.
So faithful, so constant.
He knows my every move. took away all of my sins, delivered me from the evil.
Blessed with wonderful people in my life.
Swept me away with Your love, your sovereign grace.
nothing else matters.
Beautiful, amazing God.
my Comforter, always there.
He covers me with the blanket of comfort.
He protects me from the evil.
He showers me with His love.
I'm in love with You.
The more I seek You, the more I find You.
The more I find You, the more I love You.
I wanna sit your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand.
Lay back at You and breath, feel Your heartbeat.
This love is so deep, more than I can comprehend.
Its overwhelming.
Your Love is overwhelming.
Friday, August 31, 2012
An intimate message from God to You
My Child,
You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvellous things.
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32
Love,
Your Dad
Almighty God
source : Fathersloveletter.com
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Evidence of Your faithfulness
This post should have been published or posted way back before. But as usual, I always didnt had the time to really sit down and write about it. Blogging does consume and thoughts and time. So, a while back. I was just casually talking to my little brother( half asleep actually) about saving himself for the one or a special girl that he likes instead of going all out for Jane, Mary or Nicole ; every pretty girl that he sees. So, it came to a point where i was telling him of my past relationship and the relationship that im in now. I realize that God is so faithful. He is just so faithful. He restored so much for me. Whatever I had lost or I didnt had in my past relationship, He had restored me with all those. Things i never had before, things i had lost. I truly only realized that our God is so faithful until i verbalized what He had restored me with.
So then Bryan asked me. Why? i thought your previous relationship was good? Long story short.. I learnt a lot from it. I realized what type of guy that i want to be with or even marry in the future. Now that I looked back to my past, I just see this lost girl chained by a guy. totally caught up in her own world. submitting herself to him. Consumed, where freedom and trust was taken away. Issues of jealousy, trustworthy, be controlled was just a part of her world.
Thankfully, the rough times ended. My eyes and heart was opened. God set me free. He saved me, and restored me with this wonderful guy who is perfect to me. Absolutely perfect in his own ways. He's just so kind, so loving. He loves spending time with me. when I'm upset or emotional, he told me that he wants to be there for me. we had countless silly moments together. toilet competition together ( i find going to the toilet a waste of time really, lol) we had tonnes of heart to heart talk moments together. This guy is so precious to me, just like Jesus. My best friend. there are times where we would just be silent, and there are times where we talk none stop. He's just so understanding towards me and my past. He makes me smile when im upset.
his love helps me to understand God's love for me. and i thank God for him everyday.
I pray that every person out there knows that God has a special someone for them and also pray that they know God is always and forever faithful. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. In Jesus almighty name, Amen!
In His love,
Amanda
Sunday, June 10, 2012
familiar yet so hard
Few hours ago, I went through another spiritual attack. which is one matter that is so familiar yet so hard for me. Familiar, because i encountered these hardships hundreds of times already. Hard, because i know giving in is not an option. Yet we are so tempted to surrender to Satan. and let him cover us with the darkness.
I asked God two question. What do you want me to do? and where do You want me to go? why are all of my friends? why am i so alone? I asked these four questions because I have been serving/ going to both churches for some time now. It really drained me. Not only spiritually, emotionally and spiritually as well. NO one ever said we couldnt go to more than one church. But I am already a perfect outcome to look at (if you are thinking about that) and to really commit into one church is hard enough. Its really hard. it takes up space, time, emotional, energy. Everything we do needs energy. To really wait for God's answer and timing requires tonnes of patience and time. But i know, God's timing is always perfect, but its not always the time that we would like. As we all know, good things comes to those who wait. In answer to my question, I am still waiting for it.
As usual, hardly anyone flips their calender (including me). So i flipped to 10th of June 2012. This quote spoke to me in answer to my 3rd question. Jesus is your Friend. He walks beside you and knows your heart. Jesus is your Friend and knows how you feel. He shares your joy and your pain. Jesus is your Friend and freely gives you His love. -Ray Lessin. Well, as i said. all in God's timing.
What i have learn during the past few weeks, God doesnt define you by your weakness. He looks for one who serves and loves Him wholeheartedly! It is also through events we live that God reveals Himself. So we could know more about God. How he actually is, how He acts etc.
Lets close in prayer, I pray that God speaks to everyone of you tonight and the days to come! Lord, we know that your timing is always perfect and we put our trust in You Lord. Forgive our insecurities and deceiving thoughts and help us to grow with You Lord. In Jesus most beautiful name, Amen.
In His love,
Amanda
In His love,
Amanda
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