cheeseanonioncrisps:

haiimrowie:

the-truth-shall-make-ye-fret:

Omfg I love love love this

• Moist has been replying to all the scam messages he gets with honest and enthusiastic critique of their grifting skills, and also an offer of a job in either the Post Office, the Bank, or The Railway.
• The constant background magic radiation on the Disc means that all the pornbots are absolutely sentient. Adora Belle and the golems have been helpfully messaging them, offering support and suggestions that there might just be more to life that H0T S1NGLES N3AR YOU.
• Vetinari has a Facebook, where he mainly shares pictures of dogs and Boomer Humour level memes about office life. Nevertheless, his follower count is roughly equal to the city population. Nobody wants to find out what happens if you unfollow Vetinari.
• (He also has an anonymous Twitter account where he posts various criticisms of the city government, just to see who retweets them, and gets into absolutely vicious arguments with the compiler of The Times crossword puzzle.)

(via seananmcguire)

madiesunny:

lordhellebore:

self-loving-vampire:

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

This was physically painful to watch.

HOW DOES ONE NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE INSTANT RAMEN ?!?

(via srgtmarshmallow)

changan-moon:

Summer ice dessert that is made of chinese shanshui and chinese porcelain by 呼葱觅蒜. 

(via professorsparklepants)

nudityandnerdery:

elidyce:

absynthe–minded:

absynthe–minded:

absynthe–minded:

so today in “unexpected meta drops”: Sam might have been talking to Sauron in and around Mordor, and it’s very subtle, and it scares the shit out of me

okay

okay.

I can’t prove this is what Tolkien meant. I thought until This Month, after eighteen years with these books, that I was reading Sam having conversations with himself. but? now? I’m really not so sure.

this first happens in “The Choices of Master Samwise” in The Two Towers, after Sam has gone from rage and grief to dabbling with suicidal thoughts and despair:

He looked on the bright point of the sword. He thought of the places behind where there was a black brink and an empty fall into nothingness. There was no escape that way. That was to do nothing, not even to grieve. That was not what he had set out to do. ‘What am I to do then? ’ he cried again, and now he seemed plainly to know the hard answer: see it through. Another lonely journey, and the worst.

‘What? Me, alone, go to the Crack of Doom and all?’ He quailed still, but the resolve grew. ‘What? Me take the Ring from him? The Council gave it to him.’

But the answer came at once: ‘And the Council gave him companions, so that the errand should not fail. And you are the last of all the Company. The errand must not fail.’

‘I wish I wasn’t the last,’ he groaned. ‘I wish old Gandalf was here or somebody. Why am I left all alone to make up my mind? I’m sure to go wrong. And it’s not for me to go taking the Ring, putting myself forward.’

‘But you haven’t put yourself forward; you’ve been put forward. And as for not being the right and proper person, why, Mr. Frodo wasn’t as you might say, nor Mr. Bilbo. They didn’t choose themselves.’

‘Ah well, I must make up my own mind. I will make it up. But I’ll be sure to go wrong: that’d be Sam Gamgee all over.

‘Let me see now: if we’re found here, or Mr. Frodo’s found, and that Thing’s on him, well, the Enemy will get it. And that’s the end of all of us, of Lorien, and Rivendell, and the Shire and all. And there s no time to lose, or it’ll be the end anyway. The war’s begun, and more than likely things are all going the Enemy’s way already. No chance to go back with It and get advice or permission. No, it’s sit here till they come and kill me over master’s body, and gets It: or take It and go.’ He drew a deep breath. ‘Then take It, it is!’

Sam taking the Ring was absolutely the right choice, above all else. It was vital and necessary. It had to happen and it speaks to his bravery and determination.

But.

Sam has one of the most consistent character voices in Tolkien - you can look at him and know when he’s talking, just by reading his dialogue. (all credit to @nikosheba for reminding me of that, and pointing it out) And this?

‘And the Council gave him companions, so that the errand should not fail. And you are the last of all the Company. The errand must not fail.’

This isn’t Sam. He doesn’t talk that way. He doesn’t interact even with himself that way.

it happens again in Mordor proper, too, and I think the full quote speaks for itself.

He could not sleep and he held a debate with himself. ‘Well, come now, we’ve done better than you hoped,’ he said sturdily. ‘Began well anyway. I reckon we crossed half the distance before we stopped. One more day will do it.’ And then he paused.

‘Don’t be a fool, Sam Gamgee,’ came an answer in his own voice. ‘He won’t go another day like that, if he moves at all. And you can’t go on much longer giving him all the water and most of the food.’

‘I can go on a good way though, and I will.’

‘Where to?’

‘To the Mountain, of course.’

‘But what then, Sam Gamgee, what then? When you get there, what are you going to do? He won’t be able to do anything for himself.’

To his dismay Sam realized that he had not got an answer to this. He had no clear idea at all. Frodo had not spoken much to him of his errand, and Sam only knew vaguely that the Ring had somehow to be put into the fire. ‘The Cracks of Doom,’ he muttered, the old name rising to his mind. ‘Well, if Master knows how to find them, I don’t.’

‘There you are!’ came the answer. ‘It’s all quite useless. He said so himself. You are the fool, going on hoping and toiling. You could have lain down and gone to sleep together days ago, if you hadn’t been so dogged. But you’ll die just the same, or worse. You might just as well lie down now and give it up. You’ll never get to the top anyway.’

‘I’ll get there, if I leave everything but my bones behind,’ said Sam. ‘And I’ll carry Mr. Frodo up myself, if it breaks my back and heart. So stop arguing!’

At that moment Sam felt a tremor in the ground beneath him, and he heard or sensed a deep remote rumble as of thunder imprisoned under the earth. There was a brief red flame that flickered under the clouds and died away. The Mountain too slept uneasily.

note the “in his own voice” rather than clarifying it’s from himself, and the fact that after he tells whoever he’s talking to off, the Mountain reacts.

this, again, isn’t Sam.

and I’m beginning to be convinced it never was meant to be seen as him.

Fellow human, you make a very convincing case. That is some DEEP shit, dude. I love it. 

Sauron’s will was great enough to subdue Saruman and turn one of the Valar into his servant, but when he tried to force Samwise Gamgee to despair by pointing out the obviously impossible task ahead of him, Sam just said, nope, Mr. Frodo needs me, and that’s what matters.

And that’s why Sam is fantastic.

(via karethdreams)

retiredmahoushoujo:

carnival-phantasm:

sexhaver:

ampersandvich:

pileofknives:

“I bet it doesn’t hurt that bad, I don’t have time for this shit.”

“at least one”

now this is a gender binary i can get behind

Very generous of them to describe it as the “Thinking Period”

They correctly excluded the outlier Electroshocks Georg

(via obsidiandragon)

hoebutmadefashion:

(via srgtmarshmallow)

mookybear12404:

depressed–and–underdressed:

goddess-of-waifus:

fallencrowkarma:

omghotmemes:

Perfection 100

Please yall add the source. The yellow and pink suits were both handmade by thredcountt.

Yellow is @thredcountt on insta

Pink is @peachieteas on insta

White is @tricksterkarkat on insta

Black is @cinnabara on insta

Cosplay is a form of art too so please don’t repost anything without credit. Its disrespectful.

Reblog this version please! It has the credits owed to the user who made them.

THESE ARE SICK!!! I LOVE THEM!

ITS THE SAME PERSON

(via seananmcguire)

glass-rose-paperweight:

arlessiar:

theactualcluegirl:

This blogger remembers when we didn’t have AO3.

This blogger remembers when we had to put disclaimers at the head of our fics and pray that someone didn’t take it into their heads to sue us for what we created.

This blogger remembers brilliant artists and writers getting decades of work obliterated on LJ because someone who wanted to tell people what they were allowed to create went running to someone who wanted a profit, and told them the artists and writers had been naughty.

This blogger remembers just how hard the creators of AO3 worked to build the thing we all seem to take for granted now.

This blogger watched friends dive into the creation process so heartily and determinedly that they all but disappeared from the writing/gaming/artistic side of their fandom for YEARS while they worked to make the archive happen.

This blogger remembers the sense of giddy wonder that there would possibly be LAWYERS involved, willing to defend our right to create these works, and not leave us hanging at the mercy of corporate legal teams.

This blogger is aware that she reads between twenty to fifty books’ worth of material every year on AO3, and is never REQUIRED to pay a penny for the privilege of getting access.

This blogger is aware that she will not ever see advertisements on AO3, and that her personal data and reading preferences won’t be sold to advertisers in order to raise the money that AO3 needs to pay for the services they provide.

This blogger is aware that AO3 is, and has always been, a labor of love; by fans, for fans, and not for profiting off fans – and this is what makes it unique in the whole of the media universe.

This blogger has NEVER taken AO3 for granted, and has ALWAYS been damned glad to have access to it.  Even in years when this blogger didn’t have the means to support it financially.

All of the above, and:

This blogger remembers the Anne Rice fandom drama. 

This blogger remembers Fanfiction.net deleting fanfics because they had been coerced into deleting the nc-17 category. 

This blogger is thankful for AO3 and the people who run that website and put a lot of work into it. 

I’m not really old enough to remember the above, but I can appreciate just how special AO3 is.

(via seananmcguire)

wantyoumorethanamelody:

I use the 😌😌 emoji far too often for someone who has not felt inner peace since they were 11 yrs old

(via morrigansbf)

twowandsandadrink:

tastefullyoffensive:

“Crab’s Lost Love” (comic by Gunshow)

This fucking comic. I. This fuckign. This comic make me have emotiosn over a crab. I am almost in tears  because of this ufkcing crab. what te fuck what the hell is going

(via seananmcguire)