honestly, I don't know what brought me to these feelings.
but strangely, I miss you.
and it doesn't help that the youtube playlist that is on, is playing all the songs that reminds me of you.
of the times we spent together.

the karaoke session.
the lepak sessions at random coffee shops.
the jamming sessions.
the stupid fights.
the cold shoulder.
the surprises.
the guitar & drums.
the serenading.
the trips to Jurong Safra.
the meals we prepared for each other.
the future you crafted.
and so much more little minute details.

it's been years,
I still remember how you sometimes shower me with sweet nothings, behind the cold tough exterior.
how you encouraged me to be a better person, spiritually.
how you left me exasperated after every baseless fights.

I have been such a major coward. and still am, though not proud of it.
No explanations, no words, no goodbye.
and I can never forgive myself for that.
I am sorry.
I have no idea what was in my head. It was never my intention to hurt you.
along the way, I have just suddenly learned that I actually love you,
in between the company, in between all the confusion.
Towards the end, I was still hoping I could be with you.
 
it was great while it lasted. but Allah has better plans for us.
I wish you well.
what saddens me the most is not that I have lost a love,
but I have lost a friend too. and that itself, hurts like a bitch.

Never imagined having to lodge such a report. But hey,always a first time in everything!

I am not the kind to stir up shit in people's ricebowl but this involves my family's safety. I have heard a fair share of maids being irresponsible and disrespectful but have always had a positive mindset that mine will be different. This traumatising experience had totally opened my eyes.

She had been with us for about 11 months. Her quality of work started to deteriorate within a few weeks. Started breaking stuffs(eg knife, kitchen faucet, photo frame,blinds) almost instantly. All of which, she claimed that it was not her fault. I have never limited her phone usage as long as my daughter's needs are taken care of and the house chores are completed. One day, I viewed the CCTV and my daughter was playing near an open window while she was in the room. Every time we had issues with her work, we would find time to sit down and have a chat with her on why she is acting that way,asking her if she had issues back home. Things will only get back to normal for merely few days then she start showing attitude.

The last straw was when she was locked out in the service yard and accused my daughter to have been the cause. It was not within my mom's strength to open the door too. Instead of calling me to inform, Siti had called her friend from the other floor to come and try to salvage the situation. Realising that they were still unable to open the door, they had suggested to call a Bangladeshi worker nearby to my house without my permission. It was fortunate that I was only half an hour from home. After I had arrived home and opened the door for her, she had gone inside the room to start packing her stuffs. I had decided to confiscate her two phones until I bring her back to the agency. Upon searching through her phones,I had found out multiple screenshots of her on video calls with multiple men, some of which, involved my daughter. She had also uploaded a few photos of my daughter on her Facebook without my permission. She had informed some of her friends that I had been a bad employer, and that I had delayed her salary when I have deligently paid her within 2 days of the agreed payday. I had also found a conversation suggesting that she might have asked a Bomoh or witchdoctor to help her. My husband's,my mom's name and my name was included.

It hurt me as much as it does to you.
I built a wall so high now, even I can't tear it down.
I'm sorry, I'm just protecting myself. From you.
From the hurt you caused.
And from ones that you may.