itz now or never..

i tink it has came to a point whr i sud tell him abt my feelings...coz d tots of him have been buggin ma lyf real bad..2 guys have been asking me abt rship lately...as wat i've told most of my pals...i reli wanna be in a rshp but itz just that i dun wanna hurt any1 anymre...i wanna find sum1 whom i can fall in love real bad to in a rshp...sounds lame doesnt it?

but then again...i dun tink wat he's been doin now to me is lyk a way to avoid me...coz he's on a 3days course...so....hmm...

i tink i sud tell him....

or maybe not...

now....

or later...?

wat am i gon' say to him?

wat if he starts to be distant?

hahah...anyhoos...i've gt alot of pics from the practical diz week...will post it up wen got tym hor...

till then,im stil bugged with those qns...

*ARGH*i wanna go club...letz go rawking d plc!!!

aint anythink worse den this...but im holding on...tightly...

sch was cool man...wit the intro to pharmacy prac thingy...it was totally cool...or well,at least it got my mind off a few stuffs...btw,if i've gt the chance to upload i'll put it up kae ppl...

lost my punch card and i guess i knew who's the culprit...reach wrk hearin lotsa scarsasm..BITCH!!knowing tt if i say sumtink it'll juz make it worse,i shut my mouth up...he gave back the miniture i gave him last tym.."nah,give this to reno..."n he even pushed me away to the fucking hot grill...marvellous..den i push back lah...u tink im dumb ha?think again jerk...diz tym,i aint no stupid gurl...coz u're just a plain loser...pity u ek...

it seems that ppl ard me expect things from me to be done asap and as and wen dey like...den wad abt me...?wad abt the love i expect from u ppl...wad abt the attention i need from u ppl...think of me as a selfish bitch and i aint gonna care coz ppl kip tellin me their part of story..wad abt mine?who's gonna listen to my piece of mind?nowadays im keepin myself tough...to pass tru the days..i may come across as a loud,cheerful and playful gurl physically coz datz all i cld do to kip things off my mind...nobody knows the emotions dat conquered my days...anyways janah,who cares..

f/a/i/z/a/l....ibrahim...reno...the names that made my days mre complicating..sumtyms i feel lyk...wen u reli lyk sum1,it seems that u rather dun exists in their life or they are oblivious abt ur feelings and wen thr's sum1 who reli loves u,u seemed to be distant coz u're afraid of love...

fcuk!!!i didnt brg my logbook and lab wrksheets.....*argh*

dat damn "father" of mine...wen are u gonna get out of my lyf???coz i dun need u mre...with or without u is soo still the same...

here are sum pics for da week...actions speak louder den words u see...

during the field trip thingy..hahah..

d name oni...kekeke..i wanna work herre!!

d smiles i had was meant to be cries..

he LIED..he CHEATED..

afterall he's just another bastard who pretended..

i wldnt wanna look in2 ur eyes anymre..

[d last date we eva had,22may06]

i wont die wit ur harsh words loser...

ma gurl...wakaka..otw 2 da club..kekeke..pretti rite?

we are single...=D

d reason why im gettin chubbier..

banana split @al ameen...lunch wit nad..

my classmate's bdae..ya yun...haha...

[26may06]

my larlyng...yeah..he's jaya..kill d tym..take pic wit mie!!

mum didnt cook so we ate outside..bored while waitin so cam-whoring session...

wish i cld tell him diz...

break the rusty hatred...

coz i dun hate...

neither do i love...

smiles...den tears again..

.: why bother :.

for all d things he haf done...for the work he got for me..sud i be thankful my whole lfytym?sud i thank him before i close my eyes to slp and wen i open my eyes.. sayin..."thanks alot for the job u haf given me...i realli appreciate it soo much...without it i cld just die and fall flat on the ground...seriously,u have given me life with the job...thanks soo much"sud i?or mayb gif him every cent of my pay?im just like..hey man...are u gonna brg up diz matter everytym u mad at me?are u gonna tell d whole world dat im lyk no1 witout d job?pls la kae...like hw u felt wen u said im a slut...u are realli gonna regret diz ur whole life...diz tym itz pukimak...impressive...ppl,u heard it dont ya?so who's d bitch herre?y is dat u haf d thinking itz either rshp or nuthink btwn us...why cant we just b NORMAL FRIENDS??*loathes*

pity all d managers thr...dey must be wonderin wen is all diz shit
gonna end?oh yah,lyk wat dearest kai said,"tkpe,1more week to go....";)

aftall,im thankful dat kai was ard...he didnt do much though..."eh,firstly,chill ar...kae tell me watz goin on.."no im nt melting!!i swear...sweetness of da week...sides dat he wldnt stop pullin my leg...hahah...pity farhan...another victim of mr kai 2day...kekekeke....thx kai for admiring my patience handling him...oh u sweet huns...

dat 30mins of d day is totally blissful...we talked!!!hahah..i miss his silliness..kwang kwang kwang...he sang fer mie!!!hahah....no,not other sweet lovey dovey songs but the lemme love u remix(mario & pantera)*cuteness*other den dat,i just asked if thr's lyk any anonymous person did txt him abt me anot...coz it has happened..n i wont kip a silent mouth abt it kae...mind u...

PS:i've got fettish for family man...hahaha...aiyo,guys beware!!!!

sumtyms i wonder...if janah is reli d person who express herself juz abt evrything...wad will happen...coz till nw,thr's still things that are still ard the cells in my brain..still i wonder...

gkp...i jus dun wanna let u wait for me...coz,i may or may not get back to u...just find sum1 else betta den me...itz been almost 2yrs now..u reli gotta move on now..im just nt for u...believe me,wen d tym comes,u'll be happy dat i let u go..i appreciate ur love twds me...tinks btwn us happened so fast dat it just happened and ended witout notice...and nw,both of us have changed..we just gotta let it go,though it hurts...

mr F...hahaha...sorie la..it was such a short notice dat i cldnt expect u to haf anytink twds me..hahah...too serious to soon dear...hmm...we shall hang out 2geda often k...find sumtink in common,if we reli haf the chemistry and d love for each other(provided im ready for rshp),perhaps we cld have sumtink..kae...patience alrite..i've yet to settle things on my side..

oh boy oh boy....im still herre...can u see it? *waves@you* =) for all d cute n silly things we did on d fon...im savin a big space in my heart...coz datz just whr u sud be...*aww*

i tink im exhausted....

my god...i reli am...2-3hrs slp a day is lyk wooo...im blardie tired...just lyk yst...im stoned by 9...den a colleague said "janah,u are reaaaallllliiieeee stoned...."hahha,it was to an extend whr ildnt recognise ppl n i just talk rubbish loh...haha..pity mr f/a/i/z/a/l...hahha...he was all along in front of me wen i kip on mgsing him whr he is...hahah..sori switz...im relli half dead dat tym...kwang kwang kwang...

and all these haf made easily agitated...hahaha...bt wrking wit my mr kai2 was cool...so more or less the feeling of agitated-ness(heh?) is gone..hahah...but one thang,i just cldnt stand him irritate me wit the azelan thingy...hey,man...pls la...

shuts!the contraction i had lst nyt reli hurt my leg man...ouchie...

but one sec...d wonders abt him hurts even mre...geez...i miss his silliness..his jokes..his singing of the silly song..hahah..and i ponder...again and again...u tink im crazee...i tot so tooo!!!

went bck to my sec sch d other day....n...i miz em all...hah!!!mrs lau,by d look in ur eyes,i cld sense dat u just wanna ask me stuffs...hahah...i noe,i miss chillin wit u too...tinks in my lyf is lyk soo fast movin but im surviving...datz wat i gotta do ryt...and yesh...u muss be thinking...my skill of pretending is gettin betta each and every day heh....hahah...no worries...im cool cher...i hearts u...

...goshie...

im exhausted..im sleepy...im pissed...im as tensed as i can be...and i cldnt help but to pretend im fine...cool aint it...

test in 4hrs and im only done wit one topic...marvellous babe...wa salute sama lu...

did alot of catchin up wit nora....hahah...fuck em who did those things to u babe...

d mixed signals dat i've bn gettin...just drives me crazee...perhaps he's just aint over wit d past..oh well....if itz mine,itz gonna be mine no matter wat...but if itz nt...just wait watz in store for me...

i wanna make you mine...all the tym...

there's no lie..

never wanna make you cry...

"u...u asyik pakai cap jek...tkmo pakai cap la...kan lagik cute.."dat was totally genuine pure minah kae....get a lyf ken...so corny gurl...

i miss spding tym with mum at home...now that she's working...ya i noe it wont be like mum and daughter bonding tym,more of a one sided sharin session of her side...and nw that im tired and pissed abt most of the stuffs in lyf,im being oblivious of thinks...i noe itz wrg but i cldnt help it..

FUCK!!!i saw lyk a few tanglin ppl thr...and itz like....err....erm....gosh!!but oh well nt as bad as seeing the dj whom my bro knws....*pray hard he wont paoto*and itz still fine though....imagine having the whole minah-ration and mat-nation in dat plc...hah!just great!

boy,im sick of d tots of u...my insecurities...my wonders...so pls stop pretending...coz i noe u noe abt the whole thang...pls?i beg u diz tym?

here we go again....

no,i aint gonna blabber abt him...aint no more...(letz see...)

things been cool...oh wait!i nearly burn the cafe down wen i left the cloth on the toaster for like soooooo long...hahah...kekeke...but i manage to save it kae...if nt im gonna be charged for arsoning...hahah...things btwn US have been cool on the surface oni....but in depth itz like "wadeva"....tot im the oni one who realise that....sum1 else too...niwaes,bell is in the hosp...argh...take care babe...god bless ya aite...hugs..lup u deep2....

im goin to club again 2nyt!!!yeay!!!hahah...but...heck....see 1st how...coz still gt sum issues unsettled...

and yeah...too many things happenned lately...and i cant recall 'em...coz...nehx....nothing impt u see...sides im havin lotsa test soon...kwang kwang kwang...im back to the bookworm...hahah...

i talked to him last nyt till like 2am...(oh man..i failed it this tym...)im talking abt him again for the countless tym...yeah...raging frm BGR and tinks that happened to us during the days that we hadnt chat...wic was like 2days...hahah...i cldnt stop laughing wen he sing the "let me love you remix" mario & pantera...hillarious!!!nw weneva i listen to the song,i'll grin frm ear to ear..or maybe 360 degrees lah..kwang kwang kwang...and he's nt joining us 2nyt...haix.....he did told me abt his past rshp and stuffs...and yeah..i cldnt help but kept pondering...
PS:he's cute!!

hah!mixed signals he haf been giving me cld just steal away my concentration...hahah...im saddenned....haix...u're too cute...tooo darn bloooodddiiiiieeee cuuuuttttttteeeee....hahah...janah belo!!!

fatt..fatt...the bloggin world is so blardie small...hw can u nt expect me to read urs kan...hahah...u cute la dear....diz gurl here is like so quiet sia in klaz but wen she speak up...ha,ambik kau....violent is the way of life man...hahah...

*janah shall just sing.."ole ole ole ole ole ole ola...ole ole ole ole ole ole ola...."de jaleo song frm ricky martin...to keep her mind of things*

coz she needs to...

i think u've changed me...

to whom it may concerned....u haf chose these road for us...u have tested my patience well enuf...though to u it may mean just a qns but to me,it meant alot...i sud have knwn u've nvr trusted me..u doubt abt IT..abt everything..y sud i be makin things up if it happens..itz nt my will...itz really nt...im hurt...purest of pain...

in just a few moments...just that few words made me smile...or maybe itz just imbalance hormones...kwang kwang kwang...ya he did...sch was a total mess...i slept on a few occasions during klaz...coz the stomach cramps is like hurting me real baad...oh gosh...and the migraine is here...but aft brunch,we talked....i was like "woah"...wen he told me he was doin the dishes..hahah...so family man(so nw i gt sum stuffs to piss him off)heheh...and the conversation was till my prac starts...hahha..he is really one notie boy....nt only me,he disturbed my friends too...hahah..u wait la u...i pinch ur chubby cheeks den u noe...


i dunno watz happenning...but i've soo many split personalities now...wen im at hm,im back to the sadist,morbid person...wen im at work,itz mood swings...and wen in sch itz like....argh...i dunnoe la....

another tickle tests i did...just to kill the tym...hahah...

Who's your crush?

Seriously forks. Only a guy with a great sense of humor stands a chance of making it as your fun-loving sweetie. Going back-to-school doesn't have to be a bland and boring time. With a funny and cute guy to crush on, things will definitely put a smile on your face.Even when attending mandatory student assemblies and classes that last for days, you're a girl with an active mind and funny bone. Thankfully, your new crush should liven up even the dullest of moments. Maybe he's cracking jokes in History class, writing witty pieces for the newspaper, or hamming it up in the lunchroom. Wherever you find him, you'll be in for an entertaining school year!

What do your lips say about you?

your lips say you've got Understated Charm
Whether you're delivering a sweet smooch or a well-chosen compliment, a kind and centered sweetie like you uses your lips to show how much you care. You're a great listener who's got a knack for knowing what — and what not — to say.Subtle and down-to-earth, you're not totally consumed by fussy fashions or high-maintenance beauty routines. We'd bet you're most comfortable in simple styles that let your genuine self shine through. Seems just right for a go-with-the-flow gal like you!

What kind of friend you are?

you're a Sympathetic Sidekick
No one ever accused you of not having a soft side. And that's why friends flock to your sympathetic ear and well-thought-out advice. You are tuned in to the world around you, and you are always looking for ways to bring people together and enjoy each other's company. While some people might have one or two close friends, you like to spread your wings and socialize with any number of people. You are open-hearted and free-spirited, making it easy for you to find common ground with anyone you meet. Keep up the good work — everyone could use a friend like you.

oh boy...itz all abt u....

i miss eu!hahah...though i received a call frm u diz morning...hahha...pity pity..d blackout and 20 mosq bytes...(at least i didnt byt u...)=) hahah...i wan a date wit u!!!!!heheh...thick skin...

ma momma finally did it...she defined to me in an indirect way of "pompan sundal" yeay mom...u go gurl...i ken foresee a fight soon...save me....

PS:i cant get u outta ma head...why did u have to do diz to me...

P.I.S.S.E.D

says it all...today's meet enlightened me on many things...TRUST...thr were nvr a pure trust btwn us...i noe...coz...impressive....congrats for the courage to do so....2nd tym....

walk walk walk...ard marina sq...got many2 sweetz....hahah...sorie babe...cant accompany u to shop...haix...

saw my x crush in sch just nw...still so charming and mat-ish...hahah...

while in my lect...i cant help but to ponder abt things...abt him...abt the issues of the hearts...
and so..i had this poem abt him...haix...i juz hope i cld read it to him one day...

well, for now...im tired...sleepy..and fu*ked up...shall nt blog anymore...betta day tmr...

itz over and done...

yes it has...after all the deals we had,the plans we shared and all the feelings we had....it has...but on 2nd tots...it has nt began yet itz over...well at least i knw dat it has come to a point whr wen enuf is enuf....lucks in findin a gal fo' ya...

finally....fir had the balls to talked things out btwn us...he told me dat itz over btwn him and her...and yesh..thr was sumtink goin on btwn us,if nt THAT wldnt happennd..i dunno if this tym im takin in wad he said...coz im like....*fark!!!!*itz all coming back to me...i realli dont understand...wen i finally get up to be back on track..i fall again...nehhh...part and parcel of life bebey...

field trip tmr...!!!yeay...letz see if i've gt the characteristics of bein a pharmacist...yea.....hahah...

for the 1st tym in the bloody universe...we didnt lyk have a proper chat...he's over at his granny's...hahah....den aft wrk i just found out dat he's fast asleep...hahah...poor u...him him him....can think of other ppl anot...????

my mind is sooo messy ryt nw...him,him and him...one wit his insecurities,one wit his cuteness and one with his sweet words...im like...woah...too much to take in for the tym....but wadeva it is...god bless ya nora...must rememba dat im always here k...i'll paz d songs to u soon aye?*hugs*

what kind of girlfriend you are?-tickle test

you're a Steady Supporter
Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

i cant believe it!

my oh my...hw can i be so foolish?hw can i nt wonder why my stats counter is jumping tremendously high...of course in this wrld...a person who have nothing better to do loves to read into other people's life and stay on his/her blog very very LONG simply because they don't have anything better to do..FUCK 'EM!but to those who meant well,thx alot...oh anyways...let ppl think they want to,ppl dun feed me...im just bein expressive and just myself...dun need to hide things that are very clear...

mum,i just wan u to noe that i love u and i hope we cld get out of this shit ASAP coz it hurts to see u cryin...i dun wanna end up bein a murderer...be it silent or wadeva..coz he's makin me hate him more and more each day...had a meaningful talk with my sis-in-law while @work..."men are misusing the term husband"....soo true dat...im sick of these ppl...i just wish things cld be betta soon...coz im in no position to do anything..........

it has been sch,wrk,home over and over again..day in day out....simply no life(except for thurs)hehe...god knws hw im pissed wit myself for workin real hard...i had to...an obligation...haix...ppl dun noe half of wat im goin tru..

lookin on the brighter side of life....
4hrs on the phone with reno last nyt was super meaningful for me...very the very...and yeah...raging frm wat happenned in da club,wat happen in my life b4,shared wit him some of my poems and thoughts..."sometimes u can be so romantic eh..."dat was his reaction wen he heard the poem i wrote for mr MF...haha...yaya i noe...he may nt know this but i shed tears when i read to him the first poem i had for MF...so paisey...haha...too many things to talk abt...i enjoyed his company..and guess wat...he was insisting that i give him my blog add but nono..find it urself dear...hahha..cute kan....ya i noe i noe...im bullyin him but he aint any betta...kacau ppl only...hmmphh...

like wat i told him(s)...i wonder at tyms whther im capable of loving again...coz it suck to feel no excitement abt guys(other den their cuteness)i miss doin swit lovey dovey stuffs..i miss callin swit names and all that ppl do wen in love...oh god...pms+cramps+love+wonders+hatred+work+sch+family+worries+craziness=it suck!!!!

boy,u're makin me hot...

things that happened in da club lst nyt thought me a few thinks....itz either at tyms,i give the wrong body language to ppl or ppl just dont knw hw to interpret it...yeap...im saying tis coz thr's a few incidents in da club just as a gd example...niwaes,zab,wan,fadz and nora had agd tym...i believed so...hmmm...im plain talking cock herre..u think so too?coz im still sumhw feeling disturbed of wat had happenned...

reno and friends were thr too..and itz like....woah...datz cool...."i've got friends,you've go friends...they hop out and you hop in....."hahah...and yeah...lemme tell u sumtink,i just feel sumtink itz nt rite abt the crowd ystd...i dunno why...reno didnt even like have any signs that he wanna dance wit me...well,im cool...dancing alone relieves stress for me...hmm....and yeah...we just keep on misintepretting each other's body language...i tot he was turning a cold shoulder towards me and he tot that i was cold towards him...my oh my...and during the last song...thr's this guy who just stares at me dancing and slowly grab me and ya noe,do the "can-i-dance-witcha" move...and yeah...we dance...plain innocent dance...and wen i changed position to face him...he ws grabbin my back...holdin me and almost caressing me...hmm...i was like..."err..."datz like a bit too much dude...ya i noe i noe...nt like too much too much but for me itz like..."wooooo.....stop rite thr man..."den we were lyk to close for comfort...and i said..."woo....im hot...sorie..i gotta get back to my gfs back..."..and he was like..."hey..."and aft a few moments,i just saw him left the dancefloor...i dunnoe but it just frustrates me to see reno nt "saving" me frm him....urgh...tot u said u wanna dance wit me....hmmppphhhh....nvm...(ps:he's like hot wen he's dancing...*argh*)

aft the party,we went to spize...and along came reno and friends....hahha...wen they came,we are done with our food....and i tot i cld like hang out with em but...the way nora acted to my plan killed the intention...and yesh...i had put dwm my drink on his table already...sides,the way his friends were looking at me just make me change my mind...it was even in the dancefloor...im feeling rather uncomfy....yeap...it suck...got home and i txt reno...to find out that he wanted to chill with me til morn...hahah...me too...i noe i noe...see wat i mean..im givin the wrg body lang..and he did told me dat the guy whom i was dancing with,did stared at him wen he wanted to get near to me...my gosh....

i got my 2hr sleep...and i had this dream abt the thing that happened in da club...but i forgot wad was it that reno did...and so im prayin real hard that itz nt gonna be a dejavu...coz itz freaky....wenever emotions are involved,itz gonna be freaky....

Two things that happened ystdy set me pondering on and on…

First was the incident that happened in my CATS class ystdy..I had this conversation with a pal in my group after asking them to read wat was stated on my shirt…

How come u are single ar?
Wat do u mean by that?
You’re pretty what, why are u still single?
Why…u wanna be my bf issit???(joking…)
Nolah, im like totally out of ur league….

And yesh….it was deep indeed….I dunno what he meant by that but it just doesn’t sound that right…

Another was what happened at work…between kai, azelan and me…im like pissed with stuffs…pissed with hw azelan reacts towards whatever dat associates kai and me…and hearing what kai felt too killed my soul….not that im bein bias or wateva but hey…u’re over reacting here dear…dun say that I called u a jerk for this kae…u said that urself…I mean,itz normal to react the way u are reacting coz wen u’re in love u cant control everything…I’ve been thr done that and…I just feel like I cant do it nw…im unable to love at this point of time…okok back on track…hmm…so I hope wateva that I did to u with kai and wateva that I told u wen u were abt to leave work open ur mind and eyes real big yeap…coz u’re lucky enuf dat my pms isn’t that bad this tym…..yeay…im able to control it kaez…and reno will say,”clever gurl…..” =)

And so….hmm….had lunch with asyik,kai and nora @SIM canteen aka megabites…hahah…my fav plc!not becoz of the mats…eeeewwwww!!!!but the ambience and the chix rice…hahah….anyhoos…..it was fine…but I guessed d pms had attacked me…nora cld sense that…that’s y I love u babe…

Oh ya…b4 I forget or initially try to forget…we had this beanie chit-chat wic was truly hurtful…”do u still wanna be friends?” and the magical ans was “maybe…” ouchie…but hey…we wont die…wat doesn’t kill us makes us stronger…

So here I am…declaring to all my café ppl…we’ve nt known each other for long but yet…I guess u guys haf seen both sides of me…and we’ve been tru almost the best and the worst things in life and at work together…thus, I wanna tell u ppl that I really love u guys and I’ve never regret the day I got to know u ppl…coz u are the best gift I could get in life..humans made their silly mistakes and I hope if thr’s any misunderstanding among us,we could still solve it out nicely and still be friends…I just dun wanna lose trust and friendship that I treasured most….*sobz*

Reno gave me a call before I went to bed….hee….sweet I know….kekeke…from explainin y he nvr rply my mgs to asking hw am I to discussing abt the club 2nyt,it always excites me the way he put his words into cute lil phrases…hahah…ya I know I know….lyk wat I told him…wen I got my pms,im 3Cs..crappy…corny…cocky..isn’t it?hahah…it melts my heart wen he said…”I tknk ckp I miss u ke tidak lah…nanti u ingat I syok sendiri pulak…”kwang kwang kwang…cuteness…(but ar,I cutest!!!)…why does janah excites over stupid lil things that guys do…datz why my lecturer said “actually ar…u’re unique and special..u’re different from others”

PS:dbl 0,here I comeeeeee……………..!!!!!!!!! (“,)

new template!!!

yeay....new template now...hahah...i love the song...itz "say goodbye" fom chris brown....so emo...i noe...hahah...

had a gd tym lunching with nad at SIM just now...cool...tawking abt family and most girlie issues.....hahah.....things are cool between us now....tryna suit with each other already...

i had this dream last nyt...azelan was asking abt his position and hw mny guys are competing along with him in the dream...haiz...too intense lah...gawd!!

on the lighter note...my klaz is organising a klaz activity soon....we are goin for chalet during the june break...yeay....cant wait!!

PS:budak2 nie(ard me now..) mcm berok ek...pekik saner tengking sini..aku pelangkung baru tahu...=)

i noe we're cool

well,we(azelan & i) had a heart to heart talk lately...itz funny hw things are nt happening for us though we do share the same feelings or perhaps we are nt making it happen....oh...lemme correct that...i am nt making it happen for us...hahah...im still in a state of confusion...abt stuffs....mama,lemme me noe mre abt boys without pain pls....

tawking abt mama....i bought my mum this ring....itz bloody nice lah...hahah...really!!!i wanted it...but ya noe wat..the best gift is sumtink that u want....heheh...so...happy mothers' day to all yeap...

sum verse from 2 of chris brown's songs that i find,close to my heart now...check it out...

Is this love
Because I gotta know, is this real
Girl I gotta know,
is it you taking over my heart
If its love, then all my girls and them I gotta give them up
My playing days is over I gotta hang it up
I gotta know, I gotta know, yeah,
is this love
[Bridge]
I ain't been doing much sleeping
Just daydreaming
Cause she's all up in my head
And I can't take it
I ain't never, ever felt like this
I gotta know, I gotta know
Is this how love really is
-is this love (reno,this is the song i told u abt...)

There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me
.I gotta gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
-say goodbye

pstt!!!zabri miss me too....hahah...he was on a trip ryte...and he's back....now...we cant wait to hang out 2geda....maybe tonyte?yeay-ness....i've gt a hella things to tell u man...weeee...

oh yah...im pissed with myself...i dunno why but im feeling lonely...i've gt no one to talk to lately...abt guys...abt my feelings...abt hopes...abt my dreams...and i....urgh....afi and ilyazar are like hanging out real often but wen it comes to me asking 'em to chill out,itz like..."i've gt errands to run....","im tired" wtf!kuzzie,wen itz ur turn...im always thr kae...im nt hopin u to return wat i gave to u but just..for once...be thr wen i need u...

wat if i mean the things i said..wld u be d1 for me...
is this love?


things are all fine and all...but i just aint sure if itz on a correct phase for me and stuffs(since wen it on the correct phase anyways??)yeah...i'll just suit wit it then....no choice...

i didnt noe we siblings tink alike wen it comes to gettin off things...hahah..and i bet,it wasnt that bad at all...i had fun ystday with sis nora and bro fendi...itz fun....sud go often wen their kids nt ard...and a new term by my bro...married but available...wth!

anyhoos...itz so fun to know that ppl do care for u...thx azelan for all those stuffs u did...apart from me being the last to know abt the ceremony help in ur cribs soon...oh well...im cool...

i think im gettin fatter lah...im eating my hearts out to get things off my mind...my oh my...reno,im wit u....letz go on a strict diet...heheh....*peace*u still owe me one ha....gigit u den u noe...hahah...

zab's in melaka...i miss u dude....i miss u like real bad...i miss hanging out witcha u noe...take care ha...heheh...we hafta hang out like real soon...

b4 i leave...lemme just share this witcha...my latest addiction...
check out the latest suria ad...itz like soo cool and farnie...
with suzairhe saying,"ei,pintu kuar maner pintu kuar...hey,kawan-kawan tunggu..."
CUTENESS!!

-= ultimate confusion =-

confusions confusions confusions...im plain confused....

i wanna club!!!!i had to skip ystd...damn...i need to club real bad...urgh....reno,nora,bell letz go!!!whrever.....rock the club now....

janah's latest addiction is the hazelnut latte frm sim canteen...hahah....coffee anyone....??

ps:i got nuthink to say akceli...im just speechless...hopefully things are better diz evening...hahah...haf fun kae...

ultimate tiredness

im beat...i dunno why...didnt do closin last nyt though...yet im bloody tired lah...and my coughs still ard...gee,help me...everyday i hafta take a dose of coke to ease my throat...

im meeting sum1 ltr aft sch...at esplanade...yeay!!!i miss that durian....hahah...im gonna take pics....lots of em....yeayness..

im sorie reno....i vent my anger on u...very sorie hor...*hug*

bell is coming back in a few hrs time!!!i miss u babe....

im gettin pissed with HER....pls la...the world doesnt evolve ard u oni....do things for urself la k...dun waste my fucking tym!!!urgh....b.i.t.c.h.

siick

im still sick till now...no voice...dry coughs...runny nose...and pls pls pls.....dun irritate me....or else u may get it from me...didnt ur mum told u nt to irritate sick ppl....???urh...i hate it!i wanna get well soon so i could sing again...lyk as if my voice is nice enuf lah...hahah...

dragged myself to follow bro fendi's fam and mum for dinner...cz ystd was his bdae and ayu too...but she aint coming...for sum reason...haix...i lourve u lil gal...we went to canadian piz n nw my tummy is bloated..i wanted to go to wrk so bad but my throat was bad enuf la...sorrie ppl...

they are goin to dbl 0 this sat(i wanna follow too!!!)...and they noe dj bo...hahaah...gotta be careful gurl...

we had talked it out...for rite nw...janah and azelan will only be friends...coz itz hard to explain...even harder to understand..oh boy...letz hope that it'll turn out gd...*fingers crossed*

been talking to reno lately...even last nyt b4 i slp...things are cool btwn us...i mean,as a friend la...he's so adorable and i hate it wen he disturb me.."lap dulang"....hahah....cuteness...had to force myself to produce sum voice la...coke realli helps though...hahah...my sis told me....*peace*

bell's coming back soon...yeay!!!

i miss my bro...he went missing since a week ago...uncontacted...bro...we miss u...we're worried abt u...esp mum...pls...at least give us a call...
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a201/omigod/hari%20raya%20pics/bigfamily.jpg

while waitin to nxt prac @1pm...

im beat...runny nose..sleepin tru-out my lectures...im dead!but i had fun...nuthink to regret...absolutely nothing...cool aint it...

im disturbed by the story abt hw the late nadirah feel abt me...my gosh...i feel so guilty!!!

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apart from that,i wanna say this...i'm like either in or out of love but it's just that i cant commit to a proper rshp...any1 understand wat im tryna say here...so....yah...hmmm...

...miracle @dbl O...

and yeah...i went clubbin again yst with nora and farhan...after they do closin...it was soo bloody fun...hahah...that tall big guy finally talked to me...he's name is ringgo?binggo?or wadeva...forgot liao,and thr's this new hottie took my no...hahah...akceli..nora went to tell him that i tot he was cute and so he went to the plc whr i was hiding to get my no...hahah...farnie la...as i was havin late supper cum breakfast @ spize...we were sms-ing each other lah...he said that he wanted to dance wit me but i was "distant" la...realli meh...hahah...and he lourve my curlz..heheh...ya rite...he's still serving ns,police thus,azelan,u'll see him ek...hahha...and so...i'll come bck wit more stories abt him soon...

i am so anti-social..thinking dat we haf to buy the notes alone..i bought it loh...but itz a class thingy...haiz....

bought nora,azelan and kai sum stuffs...just a small gift lah...no particular reason though...i just love 'em...esp nora!!!!!*hugs*

PS:i wanna go clubbin again!!!!

foolish

well...things are all fine at work...all fine...never been betta.. rshp btwn ppl thr is good now...hmm...except for HIS friend...who aint happy that im on toking terms with HIM...geez...i dun give a fu*k...hahha...just that im PISSED with that bitch la...i knw u dun have a gd lyf but that doesnt mean u can jeopardise ppl's life...but i knw nora is strong la...if nt,i'll be thr for u dearie.....hugs...

and yesh...ppl knw abt US already....damn...oh well....tak mati tak mampos...hahah...just watch ur mouth ppl...i got patience but its running low...oh ya...btw,i heard that bitch is resigning soon...yeay-ness!!hmm...sumtime i ask...am i bad sayin this kind of stuffs....but i realise dat she worth the nasty things that we do coz she's a total biatch...cant wait for bell to come home...miss u babe...

other than the few hrs sleep a day wic equals to sleepiness,my throat hurts...i tink its too hot or sumtink..gawd!!and yeah...i aint ready to commit...for the 1st tym in my lyf im saying this...i really aint ready to commit...i shall repeat wat i said wen ppl ask me..."itz hard la babe...."

nora princess...i just want u to knw that..i may nt be a gd listener,nt a perfect advisor nor wadeva it may be but jus lemme be the one to lift u up frm the fall..coz...i lourve u babe...take care okie...hell wit the ppl...thr's nutink better like u and me...hahah...*hugs*princess power...


oh boy...i do miss u too...i'll come bck to u if im fated to be urs sweetie...
*hugs&kisses*

Im beat!!! Beat! Beat!….oh gosh…god knows the physical and mental lethargy im facing….but hey,im cool…im just hoping that my pay wont be as bad…I need to bucks…to enjoy???hahah…for my poly use la…thanks to those who cared abt this…the poly and work issue…lyk hassan hasaaree, ilyazar, azelan and hasril…aik…all guys ha?maybe im just nt female friendly…hahah….
Hmmm…talkin abt that…that bitch is really getting on my nerves…how cld she take the pic and send it to haniff…BITCH!!!!pls la…get a life ken…dun jeopardise our lives just because ur life is like….argh…wadeva la gal…just don’t get me saying nasty stuffs to u coz im still cool kae…so,be on the lookout…I may be nice but just don’t gimme shit!!!

Pity my princess nora…hahah…itz okie baby gal…I’ll be here for u kae….things like this or just wadeva u wanna share…pls just buzz me kae…love u deep2...take care gal…
Sides,im working with farhan and nora…yeay!!!all the fun ppl…ant that like cool or sumtink…heheh…it was fun ,laughter and joy kae…that’s y I cant seem to leave café with the ppl lyk this sides that the mcd ppl give me shit…hmmm….hugs ppl…

And nw,mum is cleaning my room(ps:my room is as messy as my mind rite now…)….how bad…but too bad,I got things to do and my sch starts at 8 later…and nw is lyk 2am….man….see wat I meant…im tired!!!!3hrs a day…I cld die…hmmm…she just clearing the bed thingy coz my bed has been long snak into the sea…I mean the ground…thanks to my nephews loh….jump2 on my bed during the hari raya….haix….sad rite…

Just nw at sch,im just plain pissed with sum1...I mean…if u wanna joke ard or sumtink,pls la…at least watch ur words…I shall nt reveal who and wat lah but im just pissed…coz wen im tired,dun push my buttons…so yah…

Oh well,I shall leave the comp to charge and go charge my mp4(wic I just bought 2 days ago…fun ya noe!!!)and my hp…long day tmr….god bless y’all…

my oh my...

many of a thang has happenned...many...too many for me to count...
god knows man...hmm...but all the hurt i felt is just a passing thing for me...i dun wanna be the lil gal who sobs for things...well,i do cry but nt over and over again for the same thing...for all the bastards and bitches that had made my life so screwed up...thanks...god is always fair...i may nt be the one who will open ur eyes to things but there will always be sum1else who will do that...

poly lyf is cool...but managing work,sch and other commitments is hard kae....trust me..i nvr tot it cld be so hard...btw,to my bro...congrats for the engagement thingy...hope it'lllast long till ur wedding aite...but sorry to say this,it just happen on my bad luck day loh.....god bless ya...hmm....

pity my gf in poly,zahirah...she and her bf issue...so unfair...but that's wat it is in rship...been thr done that beb...be strong kae...im always here...for u...other than that,im just pissed with my classmate...geee....she's almost killing me...shall nt reveal who lah...heheh...

i want to club this thursday!!!!!nora!!!!!pls......and btw,me and azelan...we had a deal abt this...itz all resolved....so...no worries...heheh...

ppl,i knw i've nt been me lately...i dunno why...im just pissed at things...im tired with the things i have to do...my goals not achieved...im just pissed...so...just gimme sumtime to settle dwn wit things kae...i'll be back as per normal...the janah..the morose janah...hahah...peace..

im nw waitin for zahirah to finish her issue on the net...and nora to fifnish her thang with radio heatwave...den go dbl 0 office...for sum admin stuffs...den tmr is another orienteering an cats klaz...hmm...im meeting vinod again!!!!hahah...janah,u're mad!!!ultimately mad!!!till then,im off...take care peeps...

*hugs*

im back with lotsa stories...hahah...

hey ppl...i noe itz been like decades im lost here...hahah...so...just to update loh...here's the temporary blog i've been using all these while...

http://hermosamenteroto.multiply.com/

well,itz kinda cool wit all the phots,music and videos thingy...but too bad the background cant be change...haix...gd stuffs come in small packages they say...