We were invited to a friend's new house to swim. They had heated the pool and were inviting everyone for pizza and a pool party on Veteran's Day (11/11/14). It was overcast and cold, so an unlikely day to swim, and the kids were so excited to be able to swim on a cold day in a heated pool.
We arrived, and went straight through the house to the back yard. We piled our mounds of towels, floaties, diaper bag, shoes etc in one spot outside the pool gate to keep everything of ours together. Two other families we didn't know arrived through the back gate as we were getting situated. The big kids already had their suits on, and several people were already in the pool, so I allowed the capable swimmers to go into the pool gate to swim while I got the two little ones dressed in their suits and floaties outside the gate.
I started with #5. As I was suiting him up, #6 started heading towards the pool gate. I grabbed him and brought him back and started getting him ready. #5 was at my side. The big boys took turns calling my name to watch them jump off the waterfall, while I was intermittently introducing myself to the people I didn't know, and getting #6's swim gear on.
At some point during that distraction, #5 somehow must have slipped in the pool gate with someone else, unnoticed...to what he later told me "see how warm the water was". From what I understand of his story, he saw there was a huge kiddie pool section of the pool. He was walking along the wall of the kiddie pool with his feet in the water, and slipped off a ledge into "the deep water." We have no clue how long he was under water before our friend saw him and pulled him out from the bottom of the pool, but according to our friend, he was already unconscious and blue.
Someone called me into the pool area. When I walked in, I saw #5 draped over our friend's arm, and our friend patting his back. It startled me, as I thought #5 was still outside the pool gate.... but at this point (although, embarrassed at how I could have missed him getting through the gate) I figured he just took in a little water from the kiddie pool. I began patting his back along side our friend, until I recognized that his body was limp, and saw that he wasn't breathing.
That is when full blown panic broke out. I quickly became hysterical..screaming and crying his name while giving him the heimlich maneuver. The amount of water that began POURING out of his nose and mouth with every compression was ASTRONOMICAL. Someone shouted to call 911. I begged our friend to give him a Priesthood blessing, but I was so hysterical, I couldn't even remember his middle name. I was in so much shock, screaming, shaking, crying, compressing...water continuing to pour like a waterfall out of both his nose and mouth with each compression of his stomach.
The priesthood blessing, given through the power and authority of God, commanded #5 to breathe and to live. I don't remember anything else he said except the power of those first sentences. As my friend's hands were placed on #5's head to give that blessing, although I was still absolutely out of my mind hysterical, intelligence began pouring into me. My brain was not even functional, but from God's intellect straight to my understanding, I was given divine instruction at each moment what I needed to do to bring him back.
By this time all my children were crowded around us crying and SCREAMING #5's name! The second our friend said amen, I told the kids to start praying. #1 and #2 began pouring their hearts out to God, screaming and pleading their prayers out loud. I flipped #5's body over to give him CPR. That was the first time any of us saw his face. The sight of his face will forever haunt all of us. It was bright purple and blue, with broken capillaries all over his forehead, cheeks, eye lids, and nose from a lack of oxygen...and his whole face was completely flat. There was no definition on his face between his nose and cheeks. I got a very distinct understanding that there was no spirit in his body...that he was gone.
I tried to give him air a few times, but his chest would not rise. I knew that my # 1 priority was to get the water out...that the water had to come out before any air could be taken in. I performed CPR, but not the "correct" way I had been taught. Short, continuous, pulsating pumps to his stomach, as they teach in CPR certification, would have done no good. I was doing LONG, POWERFUL compressions...pushing and holding down on his stomach as water continuously POURED out of his face. The only way I can explain it is how you would put continuous pressure on a raft to get air out of that small opening...and how air would continuously pour out as long as there was hard, continuous compression... except it was water pouring out, non stop, like a water fall. It was terrifying how much water continued coming... and the pressure by which it was pouring out of his face was UNREAL.
Every once in a while I would let up, and re-pump, pushing it harder and deeper than before. At one point, I recollect looking up to see #4...arms folded, head bowed, eyes closed praying his heart out. #3 told me that our friend had pulled him aside and had wrapped his arms around him because he was screaming and crying so inconsolably, but that he was praying harder than he ever had in his mind and heart.
While I was so fixated on getting water out to make room in his lungs for air, kids #1 and #2 (The two that had already had the gift of the Holy Ghost confirmed upon them) were knelt next to me and took turns periodically giving #5 air. I never gave them any direction...and they had never learned CPR. I do vaguely remember seeing them in my peripheral vision, but it took them stating that they could still taste his throw up in their mouths when we saw them again the following day, to remember them helping. I now recognize that just like it had been given to me to know how to bring him back...they very well could have had intelligence given to them to provide him with continuous oxygen in order to help his future brain function. His 100% brain function may very well be because of them putting oxygen in his body...even though his lungs were not yet expanding or accepting it.
Water continued to pour out of him with each compression, for what seemed like an eternity! I remember vividly the first breath I gave him that made his lungs expand. Oh, the sweet sight of his chest finally expanding from our air! I remember having the thought that by this point, even if I could get him back, he would be brain dead. We have no idea how long he was under, but just the amount of time we had already been working on him up to this point, without success... I had no hope of him having any brain function. After several minutes of continuous CPR and absolutely no sign of life, his eye lids cracked open enough for us to see his eyes roll into the back of his head. As creepy as that was, it was a sign of life. "He's alive!!!!" I shouted, "Keep praying!!!!"
We kept going with CPR for what felt like forever, when his body finally kicked in to help us, and he finally started involuntarily throwing up. We all screamed with tears of joy and hope, and continued pumping him until we heard the GLORIOUS sound of his first gasp of air, followed by a desperate SCREAMING cry...followed by intense puking, screaming, gasping, puking, gasping, screaming, repeat.
Paramedics were on their way, and the only instruction given was to lay him on his side. I held him on his side cradled in my arms, while I continuously beat him on his back and commanded him to keep screaming. My best estimate was that it took about 7 more until the paramedics arrived. However, everything was in slow motion and I was so hysterical, I didn't have a great concept of time. Either way, there is no chance he would be alive if his life depended on them.
Poor #6 was screaming hysterically in some stranger's arms outside the pool gate. She brought him to me and I held him on my other side. He was so shaken, hearing all the hysterical screaming and seeing so much panic earlier, but not understanding what was going on. He was screaming and clinging to my neck. I held them both for several minutes before the paramedics arrived. #2 took #6 outside the gate so I could deal with the paramedics.
I was SO frustrated with every one on the emergency crew...they had no concept of how grave the situation had been, as he was alive and screaming by the time they arrived. They were casually asking for the full story, #5's information, my name, address, and information and ID, the home owner's information etc before they even bothered to start loading him in the truck. I suppose it's protocol, but when it's a life and death emergency, you'd think they could ask details on the drive. #5 did COVER one of them in puke when he was transferring him from my arms.
#5 was coherent enough to follow things with his eyes, and he was able to tell them his name. They told us that was a great sign...if he could already respond, he obviously already had at least partial brain recovery, and the chances were great that he would get more recovery over time...we just didn't know how much.
I called Hubby at work and told him a very abbreviated version of the story and that I was riding in the ambulance and he needed to come p/u the kids and meet me at the hospital ASAP. They put #5 on oxygen, and we rode lights and sirens to the nearest ER.
#5 continued to slip in and out of consciousness...his eyes would roll in to the back of his head and he would go out. The crew assured me this was normal under the circumstances, and that he was more or less stable....and if he lost stability, they had every tool necessary to save him.
When we arrived at the ER, they hooked him up to a million machines, and immediately started treating him for shock, as he was shaking and had involuntarily pooped himself on the drive. The monitoring machines would go off every couple minutes...beeping incessantly due to his heart rate being off the charts, or his oxygen falling dangerously low...for hours. He stayed in that loopy/in and out of consciousness state for a few hours. Hubby had driven to the pool party, picked up the other 5 kids, swapped cars, and drove with the kids to the hospital. He met my friend in the parking lot of the ER. She took all 5 kids to her house in their wet swim suits and took care of them until we could contact my parents.
Tender mercy: my parents, who live an hour away, had been on vacation in Utah. They were driving home, and had just passed our freeway off ramp just minutes before. Of course, since they were coming home from vacation, they had everything they needed for an overnight stay already packed and in the car, and were at our house within minutes of being notified. The kids were delivered to our home where they could be loved on and attended to by their grand parents while we stayed by #5's side. Another friend called multiple temples and had all of our names put on the prayer rolls.
Both of Hubby's bishopric counselors showed up at the ER, and were able to assist in giving #5 another priesthood blessing.... which stated he would recover 100% from this accident.
The ER staff took x-rays of his chest, and told us we had done an unusually incredible job of getting the water out of his lungs... but that he did still have a small amount of fluid left inside his lungs, and a ton of fluid in the rest of his body.... especially just outside the lung wall. The organs and lung wall become weakened during a trauma of this this magnitude, and there was a risk of secondary drowning. They gave him a diuretic to flush the excess water out, and did a ton of lab work to test the oxygenation of his blood etc. After a few hours, the hospital staff decided he needed to be transferred to a pediatric ICU for 24 hour monitoring.
We transferred by ambulance from Riverside to Fontana. I rode in back with #5 ....he was OUT through the whole transfer....and I got to spend some time pouring my heart out in gratitude to God for giving us back our son. Hubby followed behind us. Once we got to pediatric ICU in Fontana, they re-connected him to every monitoring device, and started him on antibiotics to prevent pneumonia.
Legally, and understandably, CPS is notified, and a case is opened against you anytime something like this happens, so while they are hooking #5 up to machines and IV's, CPS pulled me aside to interview me. I was terrified. Lets be honest, a kid doesn't drown in a pool unless the person responsible for watching him was at least somewhat negligent in their duties. I've heard horror stories from friends with absolutely marvelous families that have had run ins with CPS...and it wasn't pretty.
I figured the fact that we homeschool might set off even more red flags...and lets face it, if they wanted to, they could FIND something in ANY home to cite. I knew after interviewing me, he would immediately be going to my home to interview all my children individually, and touring my house... WHILE I was at the hospital. I was freaking out about what he would find... A trampoline w/o a net, no gate at the top of the stairs, etc. I was already a mess over almost losing my boy, and was terrified that I would say something, or that he would find something that would deem me unfit, and have my children taken away. The first question was , "how do you discipline your children?" As if I was holding his head under water as some demented form of discipline. For reals?!?!? I told him that my children each have specific chores and responsibilities, and that when one child hurts another, the offender has to serve the offended by doing one of the offended's chores. After a slew of questions about my mental state, substance abuse etc, he asked for the story.
Just then, our former stake relief society president, and dear family friend...also a nurse at the hospital... turns the corner escorting my father and sister who arrived to visit. She was freaking out when she saw me...because she had just heard about a drowning case being transferred in, but didn't know it was our son...or that it was my family she was escorting in. I turned away from the CPS guy, and instead of telling him the story, I was able to tell it to my father, sister, and dear friend...along with the religious parts of the story I probably would have left out, had I been telling the story to a government worker. When I finished telling them the story, I gave them hugs, and sent them in to see #5. I turned to finish with the CPS worker, and he stated that we were done.... that he had heard the story, had received all the details and notes he needed. He allowed Hubby to follow him to our house and at least be there while he interviewed the kids so that they would not be frightened.
After being in our home, and speaking with each child, he was extremely complimentary...saying how intelligent our children were and how eloquently they were able to answer his questions. He told Hubby that we were doing something right....that there was something very special about our family, and that there was a tangible feeling of love in our home... and he closed the case.
By the time Hubby returned that evening, #5 was speaking more or less in broken but full sentences-with only small delays between words. His breathing, that was shallow and labored when he left, had changed dramatically for the better. His cute little personality was starting to come through.
He had a few more visitors that night...my sister and her husband came, and Hubby's brother came. He gave Hubby a priesthood blessing, and assisted Hubby in giving me a priesthood blessing.
By the time we went to bed, #5 was functioning at 100%, and although he was still hooked up to every machine for monitoring, he hadn't needed oxygen....his heart rate and oxygen levels were no longer going out of range, making the machines beep for doctor assistance. He was in stable condition with out any external help. Such a relief, yet, I didn't sleep a wink. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his purple face...and my whole body would tense up, and every detail would replay over and over again in my mind.
He had new labs drawn first thing in the morning, as well as a new x-ray to monitor the internal water levels and verify he was no longer at risk of secondary drowning. Around 11am, they unhooked him from IV's and monitors and allowed him to walk for the first time. Before they discharged us, they had us watch a video that teaches CPR. It was confirmed to me while watching the video, that had I had performed it the "correct" way, my son would be dead. I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father that gave me clear step by step instructions through the Holy Ghost that were far more efficient.... and was precisely what my son needed in this exact situation to be brought back. 3 of my brothers and two of their wives came to visit with some fun toys and candy for the little miracle boy, and hung out with him until he was discharged that afternoon.
I wish I would have thought to take a video of the home coming. He got MAULED with hugs and kisses by his brothers and sister! Although, the kids were receiving updates as we sent them, they were still shocked, amazed, and couldn't believe he was alive and well...after seeing his lifeless body. After attacking him with love, they kept quizzing him, "Do you remember me? What is my name?" He looked at them like they were absolutely crazy, and answered all their questions like it was the silliest game ever. Yet the siblings were even more amazed, and tackled him with even more hugs and kisses, so grateful he was not only alive, but the same brother they knew and loved. #2 said, "I've heard about lazarus being raised from the dead, but now, I've seen it with my own eyes." They all had cards and pictures they had made for him saying things like, "Our family isn't the same with out you." They had made home made chocolate/peppermint bark that they had poured and molded inside train cookie cutters, and cookie cutter letters that spelled his name as a welcome home treat.
The kids were still suffering with some flashbacks and were terrified he was going to "die again". The 4 boys, who usually sleep in different rooms, have been sleeping in the same room with their beds all touching... so that all their heads are together. None of them want to leave his side, and they give him anything and everything he wants. It's been over a week and it hasn't worn off, yet.
The following day, the boys were playing some kind of game they made up like freeze tag, where when #5 tagged them, they would fall down dead. He was trying to explain it to me, and said, "When I touch them, they are dead, forever." I said, "dead forever? What's the difference between being dead, and being dead forever?" He said, "Well, when you are just dead, you go to the hospital for two days, and then you come alive again. " Hmmmmm.
We all have and are going through our own processes...realizing that we should be burying our son...and feeling some guilt as to why we were blessed with this miracle when so many others are not. There has been some post traumatic stress...so we have been having the kids tell their story, express their terror, and help them deal with the trauma, instead of suppressing those emotions, while also pointing out every instance that The Lord blessed us with miracles and tender mercies along the way. In addition, we have been reminding each child exactly what they did that contributed to his being alive today....trying to help them see this as a sanctifying experience, and hopefully turn the trauma into an unshakable testimony of God and His love.
I will be eternally grateful to our friend who saw him, pulled him out of the water, and was worthy to give a priesthood blessing at a moments notice. God is a God of miracles, and I know that miracles still happen in our day. I know that God hears and answers our prayers, and that the Heavens are NOT silent. Especially as mothers/parents, we have the right and privilege to receive extraordinarily specific intelligence, direction, guidance, and divine revelation from God for ourselves and our families... for anything we need help with, if we just seek Him and ask.
We are enjoying the temporary eternal goggles we have been given. I know it won't last forever, but I will enjoy every second of it while it lasts. There is an incredible peace in our home, a recognition that every member of our family is so incredibly important, and just having one missing for two days created an unmistakable hole in our family that could not be filled. It has helped us be more kind and patient with each other and re-focus our time and attention on only the things that are of eternal value. In that sense, it has been a beautiful week.
Our gratitude for eternal families has increased substantially. A new appreciation of the fragility of life has given us the opportunity to re-prioritize our lives...evaluate whether what we claim to value is how, and where, we are truly devoting our time. We've also learned to let go of the things of this world, and instead, cling to God, and the covenants we've made with Him. It's been a reminder to us how important it is to cleave to our marriage, and to recognize the gift that each of our children are...making sure we don't squander the short time we do have with them under our roof...making sure they have been taught, understand, and have internalized the gospel of Jesus Christ. As OVERWHELMING as it is to have so many littles...and crazy as they make me, at times....it was the best reminder (and one that I needed) that being a wife and a mother is the most important thing in this world that I could be doing, and that I wouldn't have it any other way. It is my family that brings me the most joy in this life, and one of the only things I will be able to take with me in the next life. If only I could keep those eternal goggles, forever ;-)
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