~Cry is a silent Mercy from Him~

Bismillah & Assalamualaykum,

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah-i Rabb Al-‘3alameen. As He permits, alhamdullilah! Who knows I come back after almost two and a half year break 😀

A lot of things happened since the last entry which at that time Adam Al-Fatih has not yet born and now Adam already has little brother, Amir Al-Faruq. I realized time management is so so important as a mother. It took me a year to get used to manage the house and of course taking care the family members (which at that time was only 2 – the father, and the son) hehe. Yesterday was the last day Anas was around with me during my ‘pantang’ period and today, I am in training to be a mom of two kiddos – trying to handle them in the event Anas is not around (but still now my mak abah kak long angah and abang ipar are around).

Of course, what has happened in the past two years was a great learning period. Observation & evaluation (muhasabah) have always been my favorite past time. Insya Allah, starting this post I will try to make my life story short and pull in the learnings from my own observation & evaluation for sharing, discussion or maybe something to debate on (even though I know only few people is reading my site!).

Insya Allah, what ever I will be writing in the next minutes is more towards – me reminding myself first before it is intended for others. Wallahu a’lam.

I may not be a perfect person to say this, but lets share. We have been talking about how important tarbiyah is in our life.

I totally agree when people say, “Tarbiyah bukan segala2nya, tetapi segala2nya bermula dengan Tarbiyah”

It is so true, supposedly everything starts with Tarbiyah. However, I dont see it happened in such cases where routine task or work involved – example : kekemasan bilik, kebersihan rumah and other activities yang sewaktu dengannya.

Dont you feel shame you involved in all sorts of dai’s activities but it does not reflected in part of your daily life?

It took me quite some time to argue on this matter with few close family members. At first, I was the so called heroin pretending all such routine work fall to second priority – which at that time it does make sense . However, after stepping back and look from another angle, it does not portray the truth of a da’ie’s life.

If you say you are involved in dai’es activities, then you should realize from Tarbiyah, all such routine work should be able to be managed even though you as a dai’e is super busy like a bee.

That is it for now. If there are readers, reading this entry – feel free to share your views. I have to stop now and continue typing my research report while eye-ing my two heroes sleeping.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!

Photos on 15th Dec event:

Wallahu a’lam,

10 Safar, 1434H @ Dagang Avenue 4/3

Insya Allah I have added a page named ‘Coming Soon!’ with a password protected for visibility. Hint for the password: my birthday >> month follow by hari >> monthhari. Do mind the language use here – monthhari. Hehe. Kalau nak bukak,silakan 🙂  tak mo bukak takper, it doesnt give extra deeds or what ever pun to you 🙂 Jumpa lagi insya Allah!

Bismillah & Assalamualaykum 🙂

What a long silence.. Lots & lots of things happened and I just dont have the time to share & keep the memory written somewhere here. Before terlupa, lets be a grateful servant – Alhamdulillah ya Allah for everything 😀 Belajar tentang hidup, tentang pengorbanan, tentang sejarah etc etc etc sepanjang menyepi 5 bulan lepas.

Week 26th April, 2010
Extended a week @ Netherlands because of the ash cloud. Who knows Allah granted Anas’s du’a – for me to extend another week with him since he had another course to continue another 4 weeks. So I was officially on business trip the last week in Netherlands – meeting some metering + hydrocarbon allocation key people (read: subject matter expert) in Shell International Global Solutions.  Yet the feeling of going back was very very bad – maybe because of the ‘unknown’ condition which has not been discovered yet.

Back in KL and spent a week with both family anddd…. the unknown condition was discovered. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah. Trying to adjust the timing + body pressure – dok naik turun kapal terbang which really left an uncomfort feeling and yet, balik Miri still kene naik kapal terbang jugak 😐 *SubhanAllah – sesungguhnya manusia suka berkeluh kesah – Astaghfirullah* Anyway, a week spent was absolutely not enough! and I’ve missed the Al-Kauthar islamic class 😦

Week 4th May,2010
Back to Miri alone. Mak did not manage to accompany me since she was sick. Alhamdulillah, I changed her ticket earlier to an open ticket – so she can keep changing the date if she wants – no regret 🙂 meskipun terpaksa bayar lebih but yet, it is very flexible. So back to Miri alone- did some cleaning etc but with the ‘known’ condition, I coudnt do much.

Alhamdulillah again, Arie & Daju came to accompany me for a week until Anas came back. Jazakumullahu  Khayran sisters for accompany me + jaga makan/minum etc 🙂 I really owe you guys a lot! Work? Ahha, tak payah cakaplah kan. Struggling to change the mode from study mode to work mode and my second day in the office (with hundreds of email to be read ) I received a list of my task which now is keep on increasing! Baing away from the office for two months and need to catch up with things – was a very tough time for me. Of course – with the known condition, I was emotionally unstable badly.

On the other hand, thank you a lot to K.Salwa for substituting me leading my usrah while I was away. Glad to see they are very enthusiastic to learn more. Sometimes it is good to have different people & approach in tarbiyyah. Alhamdulillah, I managed until now to continue my usrah session and feel more energy to do it. Alhamdulillah again ya Allah for helping me out in everything, cant stop thanking you even one second 🙂

Week 26th May, 2010
Anas was already back to Miri a week before but then, we already planned our next leave was on the 26th May until 9th June. So he was in Miri for only a week. We went back to West Msia for my sister’s wedding. I am very sorry for not being able to invite everyone since I was very occupied and of course helping out my sister.  Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly as per planned – despite some people who just don’t have the common sense of being professional & too emotional at this peak time (ok, lets bygones be bygones). Will put some pictures insya Allah 🙂

Others:

1) Marriage: Oh not to forget, my dearest friend, Raihan got married! Happy happy happy.. also my glace girl – Arifah Radhiah – Congratulations dear! Barakallahu Lakuma Wa Baraka 3alaikuma Wa Jama3a Bainakuma Fi Khayr, Ameen~

2) Engagement : Aswaq & Hubab, Nadia Ansari & Hassan Atassi, Afni Zulkifli – Congratulations on your engagement. May Allah make things easy for you guys! 😀

3) Graduation: Vandy Class of 2010 have graduated last May! Congratulations! Alhamdulillah you guys did it! Glad that you are back in Malaysia eventhough heard that ramai yang akan sambung belajar. I feel so happy for them and feel a bit closer walaupun tak berjumpa lagi kan he he he 😀 Anyway, good luck & all the best for your future undertakings 😀

Not to forget, my dearest glace gladiators yang dah grad this summer – Arifah J, Nurul Akmal Abdullah, Zuraidah Sufian, Norharyanti Izumi – SubhanAllah semuanya doktor2 😀 Alhamdulillah, senanglah glace lain lepas nih boleh call and tanya ubat nih boleh makan tak kalau time ******** haha (sounds familiar kan Akmal? 😛 If you happen to read this he he he) Rasanya ada lagi yg dah grad cuma ena tak ingat, anyway Congratulations!!!!!! 😀

4) Nazirah is coming back – I believe she is on her way from the States. Hope we can meet somewhere sometime, insya Allah! At least boleh call2 selalu..pakai Celcom pleaseee 😛

5) IKRAM has been launched! Alhamdulillah 😀 😀 😀 This coming Sunday (11/07) akan ada roadshow Flotilla Gaza di Miri anjuran bersama AQSA SYARIF,JIM, IKRAM & MASJID2 Miri. Jom pergi!

Insya Allah till we meet again.. Take care & salam Alayk!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim~~

Alhamdulillah ya Allah  for everything. It has been exactly 2 months blog nih bersawang2 :p Too many things happen for the last 2 months – trip to KK, work, work, work  😐 , attempt break-in house 😦 , build your legacy session @ UKM 🙂 , usrahs, collegue’s farewell, Daju’s birhtday and the list goes on & on.

Had some chat with Vandy’08 peeps. Alhamdulillah everyone has taken their own path. Ada yang dah tukar keje, ada yang start cari keje lain.  One of the reason, ‘ Malas nak buat keje engineering 😛 ‘. Hehe I admit. Penat rupanya kalau otak bekerja sebagai engineer – working level. Melainkan dah jadi boss lah kan. Bila  call mak, ngadu2 sikit keje banyak, mak mesti cakap, ‘ Haa tuh lah, mak suruh keje kerajaan tak nak..’ 😉 Apape pun, alhamdulillah baru lah tau rupa2nya otak ku ini mampu bekerja keras. Kalau lah otak nih bekerja keras ketika belajar hari tuh..

Ada yang dah bertunang, soon nak kahwin, oh happy2 for them 😀

Kerja? Had my 2nd Develop meeting. Develop meeting is to keep the panel (i.e your supervisor, line manager, regional advisor, coach, technical authority) updated about your performance and development. I didnt satisfied with my preparation due to work load yg sgt byk *alasan kan?* tp memang betul pun hehe 🙂 But alhamdulillah, I managed to answer all the technical questions by the panel. And I realized, I work best under pressure 😀 Received very good feedbacks for my career development. However, they advised me not to short-sell my own performance and be more visible.. hehehe. Itu lah yang paling tak nak buat, but I understand at some point you have to be visible if not keje kuat mana pun, no one will recognize.  Thousand of thanks to my supervisor, Fudin who has always be a good life mentor to me, and to my family, who has giving me their support and du’as.  Doakan saya berjaya  di dunia dan di akhirat! 🙂

Allah knows best, insya Allah. On 26th I will be going to Netherland. Will be there for 2 months while Anas will be there for 3 months. We are attending the same course insya Allah. I assume this will be my so called ‘take-a-break’ trip from work – walaupun sebenarnya related to work, but it will be more like university life – lectures, lab etc. So make du’a for us selamat pergi dan balik insya Allah! Nak kirim apape2? Do buzz me okey 😉

To my dearest husband (if you happen to read this) ,
Thank you very2 much for your understanding. I know I haven’t give my fullest attention at home all the time but insya Allah make du’a for me to be a better wife 🙂

To daju dear,
Semoga dipanjangkan (read:diberkati) umur, dimurahkan rezeki, dan diteguhkan iman hingga ke nafas terakhir, ameen~ All the best k dear!

Oklah semua, kalau sempat b4 gerak spend masa sket kat sini. Too many things to share, yet I have too little times to spend. Semoga sentiasa dalam lindungan Allah, ameen~~

Bismillah..& Salam to all,

I am supposed preparing myself to sleep. But I decided to spend some time on my precious gift from Allah for this ma’al hijrah 😀

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah. I have never imagined that the past 3 days were totally my day-off from the dunia activity. I did not make any calls *except to my mum – sekali je & tukang potong rumput – another sekali*. Anas is again, away offshore. *looks like I wrote in here most of the time when Anas is offshore 😛 *

I was away attending Tamrin Borneo organized & attended by Bruneians at Similajau National Park starting Friday, 18 Dec = 1 Muharram until today, Sunday. I wasn’t prepared for the tamrin. Even I was thinking of not going *about 24 hours before the departure*. Yet, Allah knows what is best for me.  Other people are depending on me to drive them, some people are expecting me to take the responsibility bringing others. I have no choice but to go for it. Anas advised me that this opportunity does not always come. I decided to go.

My mind was totally empty the first day I reached the chalet. My heart doesnt provide me any  instincts or what-so-ever how am I going to survive these 3 days.  I took the challenge.

1st day

The first session was about Akidah – about AlQuran, kebenaran, how people react to kebenaran etc. We were given a set of questions, and supposed to be answered based on the guidelines (consist of ayat2 Quran & hujah2 lain). It was a great exercise to see how actually Allah tells all the foundation/basic things in the Quran. SubhanAllah! It really make us feel the engagement to the Quran.

*from http://www.weluvislam.com*

Next one was Seerah Rasulullah. It was so embarassed that I can’t remember the history of our beloved Prophet, Muhammad. What a shame! 😦 But looking at the positive side, at least now I know the main event from the day Rasulullah was inside His Mother’s tummy, until the first Hijrah to Madinah. Maybe not in detail, but at least I am improving myself.

When we advise people untuk bersabar  like Rasullah , selalu tak dengar, orang ckp, “Ala Rasulullah lain, dia maksum, dipelihara etc”? In my case, selalu sangat dengar. But if you are really into the  Seerah of Rasulullah, you will find that Rasulullah had gone thru a lot of challenges/ujians in His life while having an amanah to be preached to people. SubhanAllah, it makes me into tears bila teringatkan kisah Rasulullah and how tough were the ujians he had gone thru. Do take some time to reflect on this. SubhanAllah!

In the evening, we did some riadhah. It was fun! One of the activities was to list the first 30 names of surahs in Al-Quran. Masya Allah, the Bruneian sisters are really good. I feel so bad because I managed to remember up to 6 or 7. Poor me! I need to do something on this!

At night, we were given a task to hafaz the first ten hadiths from 40 Hadith Imam Nawawi. At first, I was totally ‘cuak’ since I was assuming the Bruneians have already hafaz it and they only need to refresh. However, my assumption was totally wrong. They were also the same like me, just that they have been reminded 2 weeks b4 to prepare for it. I started it slowly and the first night, I was only managed to recite  ONE  hadith (together with the meaning) .. too bad wasnt it?

2nd day

We started our day of course with solat subuh berjemaah + mathurat + breakfast. Then, we had a light aerobic and stretching before we started our jungle tracking. Suprisingly, I managed to hafaz X number of  hadiths *pendek2 punya jer dulu* + meanings before the jungle tracking. Alhamdulillah jiddan ya Allah memudahkan aku dalam urusan agamaMu. I just realized how Allah put the barakah in my time during this tamrin. During the jungle tracking,  myself and Bazilah -Bruneian who was my roommate merangkap my Hadith Buddy *muka macam Chupah* , managed to hafaz hadith no 8 together with the meanings. I can’t thank Allah enough for this opportunity. At least, by ‘hafaz’ing these hadith, sedikit sebanyak membuktikan cinta kita kepada Rasulullah S.A.W. However, the jungle tracking was actually tiring. Ahha, maybe because dah lama tak exercise :P.

Next session was presented by Ustaz Atef. Basically, he explained about the relationship *hubung kait* of hadith 1 until 8. It was so logically why they are arranged in that way (i.e why is Niat is the 1st hadith, continue with Islam, Iman & Ihsan, … ) So clear & objective.  Insya Allah if I have an ample time, I would love to share with you. Two thumbs up for Ustaz Atef for a great explanation! We ended this session around midnight. And we need to do Tasmi’ with our group leader for a record purpose.  Alhamdulillah, it was a great achievement I guess. Pushing hard to hafaz the hadiths. Thanks Bazilah for being a great Hadith Buddy to me. She always ask me to recie the hadith 3 times together with the meaning, which really help me to hafaz it faster! Jazakillah sister! *if you happen to read this 😉 *

3rd day

*Gambar sekadar hiasan untuk tema ukhuwwah 😛 *
-my work space: hadiah from raihan, izzati iliyes, fadhe,mas nur afiqah & kad from doris-

Of course, we started to feel the ukhuwwah bonding especially between myself & Bazilah. Whenever we have the chance or time to reciting the hadith, we utilize it. But 3rd day, which is today – we were again explained by Ustaz Atef the hubungkait between the surahs in Juz 30, mainly starting from Surah An-Nas up to Surah At-Tin. Again, Ustaz Atef coves only the relationship and we have to hafaz the Surahs together with the meanings and will be checked and recorded. If you need to recite only the arabic, I believe most of us can do it. I was a bit nervous since I am not that good in Arabic to translate word by word. But Alhamdulillah, Allah telah mempermudah urusan for myself. In two hours, I tried my best to hafaz as  much as I could and managed to hafaz half of it together with the meanings. It was totally an excellent approach to encourage people to hafaz.

In the afternoon, we had to excuse our selves early since we need to reach Miri before Maghrib and it is only 3 of us (myself, Kak Nor, & Fatimah) from Miri.

After all, it was a great experience & improvement for myself. I remember Ustaz Atef words;

1.”Permulaan yang baik itu sangat penting!“.
Yes, it is so true.. I feel so much motivated to do more to improve myself to a higher level of eeman 🙂

2.” Sepatutnya kita ingat tarikh di mana kita mendapat hidayah Allah/ diberi kelapangan hati untuk memilih jalan dakwah/ jalan menuju Allah”
Yes, I will remember these days as I receive my precious gifts from Allah 🙂

Note:

1. Cant wait to share this great experience with my dearest husband. Cepat2 balik onshore 😀

2.Oh not to forget to share what I learned juga dengan kakak2 sekalian 🙂 Bruneian kata saya kelihatan seperti berumur 17,18 tahun  heeee.. no comment!

3. I miss my dearest US sisters. This experience reminds me so much about us back in States 🙂 I miss you guys!

Oklah, I have to excuse myself. Esok keje..

Salam ‘Alayk,
Ena