a moment to remember my mom

My First Christmas In Heaven 

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious
than pure gold.
It was always most important
in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love
He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.


this was the poem that was on the funeral announcement for my mom.  maybe someday i'll be able to read it without bawling, which would be nice because it's actually a really pretty poem.  i like how it helps you think of the person being in heaven and being happy.  the announcement also had this picture on it:

"Heavenly Hands" by Greg Olsen.  we have it in our house and it's always been one of my favorites.  i think the lady looks like an angel.  and a mom.  like my mom now.  maybe she's all dressed in white and in a pretty place.

we had the viewing last tuesday night, and the funeral wednesday morning.  it was hard.  christmas was hard too, but there were happy moments as well.  

on tuesday morning, trav and i went to the temple.  it was the best thing we could have done.  it's always so nice to go to the temple, but i think we all have certain temple trips that stand out through the years.  this will forever be one of them.  the peace it brought was amazing beyond words.  it got me through the viewing, which i was dreading so bad that i felt like i almost couldn't go.  and it has gotten me through the rest of this week as well.  i really am so thankful for the temple.  it is such a blessing and can give us insight into our lives and our time here on earth that i don't think we could gain otherwise.  i will look forward to when we can do my mom's work for her.  i know she will be so happy.  

a really nice friend of hers, who has helped her and been with her a lot through the years, gave each of us some nice pictures of her that were taken just in the last couple of weeks.  she looks really pretty.  i will put it on here when i can get it scanned.  

this last week has been such a surreal whirlwind.  we just got home today, after being gone for 9 days.  some of the longest, and perhaps some of the very worst of my life.  but there have been some good and happy moments too, and i am grateful for those.  i'm especially grateful for my friends and family who have done so much for us.  thank you all for so much support and kindness.  we love and appreciate you more than we can say.  i think, for the most part, this is all that i am going to write as far as my mom's passing.  i want to make sure and focus on some of the good things as well.  one of the nights that i couldn't sleep, i spent reading scriptures and conference talks.  a talk that i read that really stood out to me was called, "sunday will come" by elder joseph b. wirthlin.  it is a beautiful talk.  BEAUTIFUL . . . and i write this so that if (when) anyone else that i love dies, i can go back and read it.  it brought me so much peace, and reminded me of so many things. one thing especially, that this pain will only last for so long, and then "sunday will come."  

so now i will post some other, more happy memories.  like christmas, and our trip to salt lake with my dad's side of the fam.  and i'll try to keep the tears at a minimum from now on :)  i have felt so emotionally tattered this last week that it's time to start to mend.  wish me luck. 

Heaven gained an angel

i never thought in a million years that i would be planning a funeral today.  and never in a million years would i want to do it again.  tears are close to the surface, and sleep is the companion i can't seem to find.  christmas is marred and a time that used to be my favorite time of year may never be the same again, only a reminder of moments that i wish i didn't have to experience.  but no time of the year is a good time to lose a loved one, right? . . it happens.  but knowing this doesn't make it any easier.  i hope time does.  christmas is a time to think of our savior and our loved ones.  a time to be grateful.  right now i am grateful for so much support from so many wonderful people around me.  and i am grateful for the knowledge that i will see my mom again someday and that she is happy now.  she doesn't hurt anymore and she is in a place so much better than here.  how do people make it through times like these without that knowledge?  it feels like the only thing getting me through.  and the knowledge that christ already bore this pain.  this pain and more, for every loved one that every person has ever lost.  and when i can't take any more, he will be there with me again.  i hope my mom knew how much i loved her.  how much we all loved her. that i will look forward to seeing her again, and that i hope she is happy in heaven.  i'm so thankful for my family and friends.  for their love, prayers, and strength.  i will need them for awhile . . and then my own strength will come.  it seems to have left me for now, but i know it will come back.  i hope we give all of our loved ones an extra hug this time of year.  i've been reminded of  just how fragile life is.  and how much i need to appreciate the happy moments.  keep an eye on us from up there, -k- mom?  love you.

family movie night

so i got on here to post about our family (minus daddy) movie night, and had to share the few extra little surprises that i found on the camera . . . 

i'm seriously gonna have to either threaten aiden with his life, or HIDE my camera from now on!  ha ha!  i let him take a picture one time, and now i've created a monster!!  i find the most interesting things on my camera now-a-days!  and all i can really do is laugh, this time i especially liked all the extreme close-ups . . . the one of sadie kind of . .  strangling . .  belle gave me a pretty good chuckle . . ;)  

so anyways, on to what i was really going to post about.

family movie night!!!!!

well, kind of . . we had to find something to entertain ourselves while daddy was at the school for one last night studying for finals (the last of which are tomorrow . . halle-frickin-lujah!!!! . . sorry, i'm just a teency-tiny bit ready for this semester to be over and done with, never to be thought of or spoken about again . . . ;)

anyways . .  oh yah, family movie night . . ;)  we watched this:

kung fu panda 2!  which i thought was really cute!  and definitely worth the $1.28 that is now the price of redbox . . WHAT THE?!??!!  i'm seriously boycotting . . ok fine i probably won't.  YET . .  but mind yourself redbox and no more sneaking the price up or i will . . . 

 ha ha, these 2 were so excited for movie night!  they just make me smile :)  aiden helped me get the popcorn buckets and helped me get everything all set up.  the little cutie.

 is that not the ugliest thing you've ever seen?! . . the cat, not me . . ;)  it's sadie's favorite

 looks like samson's dippin' into the candy a little ;)  i've heard that chocolate will kill dogs . . so i left the bag open . . . and moved it close to him . . . ok fine, i didn't!!! ;)  ha ha!  there wasn't even chocolate in there

 oooh, nice kung fu move buddy!!

so funny!  what would i ever do without these two??!  i adore my little ratties, they really are such a joy to spend time with.  they are such fun, happy little kids!  parenting will always have its challenging moments, but i am so blessed to be able to have my little sweeties and i hope i can always remember that.  i would have to be the perfect mom to give them all that they deserve.  i'm so far from that, but all i can do is work my very hardest and hope that they know that even when i'm ready to scream and cry, i still love them more than anything in the world!

getting ready for the holidays

these last few weeks have FLOWN by for me!  oh my goodness!  there have been so many christmas things that i've wanted to do to get us ready for the holidays, and i haven't done a-one.  although i did put my christmas tree up, there have been years that i didn't get it put up until probably about now, so i call that a success!  having trav so busy with school these last couple months has made it really hard (aka impossible) to do anything as a family yet, so i'm anxiously awaiting this thursday when he is FINALLY DONE with this semester.  it's been a wicked one.  so for now here are the things that i can't wait for us to do so we can get all ready for christmas!

1.  watch the christmas devotional together

2.  read the white stocking poem and make white stockings.  this is one of my favorite things from last year that we did.  there are a lot of renditions of this poem, but i found my favorite and it's a fun family tradition and a good way to help us remember what christmas is REALLY about!

3.  make a nice christmas dinner just for our family and each open a present on a day before christmas

4.  make gingerbread houses together

all right, let's not get too carried away shall we . . these are some lofty goals for our schedules :)  we'll start with that

we're also SOOO excited for what we are doing for christmas this year on my dad's side of the family, we are going to go to salt lake city and stay the night at a hotel and go to temple square to see the lights the weekend after christmas.  it will be a huge party!

and just because i like to get on here and randomly browse pictures sometimes, here are a few christmas ones that i liked :)  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cowboys and christmas

a box showed up on our doorstep from a certain beloved grandmother last week.  it had all sorts of wonderful hyperness-inducing treats, toys, scooby doo movies . . . and most importantly . . .  

 ropes and cowboy boots!  

 they were SOOOOO excited!  grandma ruby had taken them to riverside boot and saddle and spoiled them like crazy (AND i learned that my 6 year old is one good secret-keeper!  ha ha!  they had decided it was going to be a secret, and that kid was a closed vault.  he didn't make a peep for a whole week, and i KNOW he was just bursting at the seams . . . but he never told me!)  i was very impressed!

 and yes, it's the middle of the day and sadie is still in her pajamas.  no judging.  and just to bring your opinion of me down even further . . . so was i ;)

i'm laughing out loud right now, because as i hooked my camera up to the computer just now to upload these pics, i thought to mysef, "huh, 18 pictures.  i thought there was more like 5 or 10."  

 aaahhh yes . . it looks like a certain somebody got ahold of the camera again and was practicing his photography skills :)  that's a really great pose sadie.

 this one too ;) . . . 

 hee hee!  here's their boots (i needed a good close up of them anyways, thanks mr. aiden ;).  aiden's are little ropers, and sadie's are purple rainboots that have horses with umbrellas on them.  gr. ruby said that she did everything she could to get her some "real" boots, but the girl just wasn't going to have it.  these were the ones, now no more questioning.  and they WILL darn well work for snow, mud, rain . . do your worst logan weather! :)

 these pictures that aiden takes just make me laugh!  it's interesting, the things he decides to take pictures of. :)

 all right.  those were all of aiden's.  i took this one of our christmas tree.  you can't see it very good though!  i really do love our tree.  i always say that one of these years, i'm going to change up my decor, but i never do. i just like it too much!  it was so fun to put it up, i even put it up a week ago!  it wasn't even december yet!  that's gotta be a record for me!  and can you see the little white one, just to the left it?  that one's aiden's.  i let him decorate that one and told him he could put it anywhere he wanted.  i think it's going to stay right there, right by the big one.  cute :)

i've been in such a christmas mood lately!  we've been listening to christmas music and getting our house all decorated.  it's been fun!  and i've especially been in the mood for christmas crafting.  when i was decorating, i put up all of our stockings and noticed that one was missing . . . nikki's!!!  so i made her this one . . . out of a dog paw stocking that i turned inside out and made all ruffly and flowery!  it was fun!  

 i also slapped this festive li'l thing together to go in the living room.  i liked it!

and of course, christmas isn't christmas without some festive subway art!  yay!  i love, love, love christmas!  i'm so excited to have the holiday season upon us!!!  we even watched this last night:

AND look what i found that i'm going to print off and put in  my house:

if you want one too, you can go here!!  because it's awesome and there a whole bunch more cute printables too! :)

ha ha ha!  i do love this  movie :)  next we're watching this one:

because i also love cousin eddy :)

thanksgiving 2011

something happened this thanksgiving that has never happened before . . . I FORGOT MY CAMERA!!!!!  aaaahhhhh!!!!  i can't believe that happened!  i was so sad and upset at first, i thought my whole life was ruined! ;)  but then we had so much fun that i decided that maybe just this one time, it would be ok.  for once i wouldn't be behind the lens of the camera so worried about getting pictures of everybody (who was so sick of looking and smiling for the camera anyways!!;) that it would be wonderful just the same.  and it was!

we played games, talked, laughed, and of course ate some REALLY  good food!  we were able to go to blackfoot the evening before and split thanksgiving day between grandma ruby's and trav's house.  and it was wonderful.  the kiddies had a sleep over at grandma ruby's and trav and i had lots of plans that we DIDN'T follow through on!  we were going to go to a movie and then go "black friday" shopping (can they even still call it that when it starts at 10:00 on thursday?!  what has black friday become?!)  anyways, after all that eating, we were so tired that we didn't do either!  we ended up just relaxing and shopping online instead :)  and it was lovely!

thanksgiving really is a time to ponder the things that you are thankful for.  i have so many, that it almost brings me to tears when i sit down and think about it!  i'm so grateful to be able to spend thanksgiving with our families.  it doesn't seem like so long ago when trav and i were in st. george spending thanksgiving alone because it was too far to drive and we couldn't make it between work and school schedules.  but now we're close enough, that even if we have to just make a day trip to idaho, it's possible.  and i love it!  we had a really good time and are so thankful for our families.  we found out that sadie LOVES pumpkin pie (she had 3 pieces that day!), brandon taught us how to play "bang" (which was hilarious!), and aiden bypassed playing with the cousins to spend some one-on-one time with daddy as they explored and explored the wonderful world of grandma ruby's farm.  then we went to the beasley's and i dove into the ham and ham gravy because susan makes a WICKED thanksgiving ham!  i could eat it and it's delicious salt-laden gravy for weeks on end.  it's that amazing. really.  

so that was our thanksgiving!  it was great!!!!!!!!!

the next day, those of us who didn't hit the thursday night shopping craziness, decided that we couldn't miss black friday shopping altogether, so we hit the mall later in the morning and hit up some of the sales before they were over.  susan, jen, heather, and i all went to pocatello at about 11:00 and trav stopped by the mall at about 2:00 to pick me up and we headed home to logan so i could work that  night.  and THEN, the next night (saturday), i got called off work so we went to lava hot springs with heather, trevor and shaila, and nick and jen before they headed back to washington the next day.  nikki and skylar stayed with our kids (thanks guys!)  and it was a really fun night out for us.  it was an awesome holiday weekend!

happy birthday to you! . .

 happy birthday nikki!  our adorable nikki turned 19 on the 17th.  it's hard to believe that i've known this girl since she was like, 7!  makes me feel old!

my m-i-l and s-i-l susan and heidi came to logan to take nikki to lunch and hang out for the day.  we ate lunch at costa vida and then did a little shopping while nikki went to training for her new job at old navy (yay nikki!)

look at the cute little cake we found her!  and the animal print candles were just perfect for nikki!

look how cute she is! :) trav said her cake looked like it got shot with a shotgun in this picture, ha ha!  i didn't even notice at first but now that you mention it . . .  :)  nikki, we hope you had a good birthday!  and liked your sparkly makeup that aiden and sadie picked out for you! ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

last halloween post . . . i swear!

these were a few others from the halloween party that were on a different camera.  but i just HAD to put them on!  did you see these hillbilly teeth?  enough said.  blackmail for the rest of sadie's life. ;)  totally awesome.

so cute!  the kids were all adorable and had so much fun!  halloween was everything i'd hoped it would be this  year!  minus the fact that i couldn't blink without hurting something . . . ;)  it was all worth it though!  totally fun and i already can't wait til next year! :)