Write a blog post and throw it away

Growing up, you are taught several ways of dealing with anger and frustration in ways that don't hurt others and don't hurt their feelings. Yell into a pillow, count to 10, etc. Well, one of these techniques was to write a letter to someone who hurt you. You can point out how they hurt you. Explain how you feel. Even tell them how mad you are and how you secretly wish something bad happened to them. When the letter is complete, you sign the letter, seal the envelope, and promptly throw the letter away. What a waste, right?

Wrong.

Some things are better left unsaid. It could hurt someone. It's ok that you feel that way, but it's not always ok to share those feelings. I used this technique recently. I wrote a blog post. It's something that I had wanted to write for a while because it had been on my mind. I was bugged. I needed to vent. So I wrote the post. But because of some technical difficulties, I was not able to post it right away. I am thankful for these difficulties. I felt better after writing the blog. I was relieved. I expressed my feelings and it somehow simultaneously validated them.

When I got the chance to post those words I had carefully constructed, I didn't. I deleted the text. I had gotten what I needed out of writing that post and any other byproduct would have been something I had not wanted. Perhaps one of my blog readers (all 2 of them) had read this outburst and had been hurt. How awful that would have been. I am thankful for this technique I learned as a child. And I am thankful that I can use writing as an outlet and that I can throw it away without hurting someone.

2 Months

Chance is 2 months old! The time is flying and he is growing by the second! We had our much anticipated doctor's visit and the results were: Head 62% Weight 60% and Height 95%. I have no idea where he is getting that height from... I expect it will slow down. Chance is doing awesome. Growing well. No problems. I couldn't be happier. I am sure that we will have trials this winter with sickness and what not but I am sure thankful that he is healthy and happy.

2 Months

The day we went to the doctor

LIKES:

• Eating
• stroller rides
• car rides
• being held
• being talked to (who doesn't like that haha)
• attempting to stand- he has literally been doing this since birth
• looking at Zuka (posting more about this soon)
• naps on mom and dad's bed- this kid is seriously soooo spoiled

• Playing with his mat- this is new. he is getting so good at hitting and kicking

DISLIKES:

• sleeping
• being burped
• his hands or feet touched (seriously haha)
• baths- still not a fan, but he is tolerating them better

What look?

Whenever people post pictures of their children I always think "you can tell that's their kid." It's not something I can always put my finger on but I can just see the resemblance. Even when it's a baby. You can already tell that the baby belongs to that family. 

Of course, since before I even got married, and especially after, I have been wondering what my kids would look like. If they would have any of my traits and if so, which ones? 

Now that I have a baby, I honestly have no idea if Chance looks anything like me and Travis. Can people tell he is our kid? And if so, how? I know some of his traits (like the cleft chin) are not from me or Travis but have skipped generations. Maybe I am just too close to the situation to really see it. What look does Chance have??? 

If he looks at all like me I will take that as a compliment because I think this kid is pretty darn cute!! 

Progress

Here is a little update, more for my records because I am the only one who really cares haha but I have some updates pics

Here is me at 7 weeks after having Chance. Ignore how ornery I am and also the mess haha 

Here is me at 8 weeks. Fitting into some pre prego jeans and pretty excited!! I have 10 more pounds to go and I am ahead of Travis now! 

Also, I forgot to mention in my last post that I have not breast fed at all for some various reasons. I wish I had the easy weight loss haha but I guess this way, all of my loss will be legit! 

A little Healthy competition

As most first time mothers (and maybe not first time as well), I am struggling with the weight I have gained through pregnancy. I knew I would gain the weight but I am having a harder time with it than I anticipated. I started taking Chance out on walks almost every day after he was 3 weeks old. That has definitely helped drop a few LBs. I am 6 weeks postpartum today and anxious to start running to help lose more.

Lets get down to the bottom line here. I gained 42 pounds throughout my pregnancy. Ironically, I gained most of it really quickly. I was surprised at the weight gain because I wasn't eating any more than I ate normally but it is what it is.

August 2012

The day before I had Chance

The day I got back from the hospital, after having Chance, I weighed the EXACT SAME! I couldn't believe it! How could I have a 7 pound baby and not lose an ounce. I was devastated but had to push my worries aside and focus on being a new mom.

Hadn't lost an ounce

I had retained tons of water and my legs and feet were HUGE! I wore compression stockings for a few days and when I was 2 weeks postpartum I was down 22 pounds. This was a big relief to me. However, that still leaves 20 to go. That's where I am at now.

I wasn't a twig before I got pregnant so I feel it's realistic to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I know it's not going to be easy. Whatever exercise I do has to incorporate an infant now, which is a trial in and of itself. Plus let's keep in my mind I am already back to working full time. And genetics are really not on my side for losing weight. But I can't let that discourage me. I am going to work hard and do it because I know I can.

4 Weeks postpartum

So...... Travis and I decided to have a little "Healthy Competition." I now have 20 pounds to lose and Travis has 20 pounds to lose. We have similar struggles with weight and obviously similar lifestyles so the playing field is even. We made a deal that if I can lose 20 pounds before he does, he loses his XBox privileges until he reaches his 20 pound goal. I like it because we are both going to lose 20 pounds by the end of it. And of course we will have implemented some healthier lifestyle changes along the way.

I am pleased to report that we are both making progress. I would like to say I have lost the weight (haha) but I have to be realistic and also, I want to lose it the right way, which takes time. I know I am never going to look like a super model and I am ok with that. But I am NOT ok with Travis and I having health problems that could have been avoided by maintaining a healthy weight, so thats really what I am striving for.

6 Weeks Postpartum

This pic doesn't show my middle, which is the majority of the weight. But it's coming off slowly. I'm so thankful for my health and for my family who is willing to count calories with me and exercise with me to help me lose it. May the biggest loser win :)

Whenver I See Your Smiling Face

Let me begin by saying I LOVE listening to James Taylor. Definitely a guilty pleasure. Well I am in love with this new little boy in my life and I'm pretty obsessed with him.

As newborn babies do, he "smiles" occasionally but unless you constantly have a camera in hand, it's pretty tough to catch.

His normal facial expression kind of looks like a glare haha He has me to thank for that! My "nothing" face looks like I am pissed.

Here is the best pic we have of him smiling. Unlike a lot of babies, this kid doesn't mind tummy time. I don't do it as much as I should but when I do, it's always really cute!

Here are some more expression pics that I just like. I'm not sure what you would call the expressions but I think they are pretty darn cute.

Baby Chance, Whenever I see your smiling face, or your pissed/pouty/baby face, I have to smile because I love you!

Newborn Pics

We got pics taken of Chance when he was 10 days old. I have never had a baby before so I didn't know what to expect but we had a great time. The funny thing about getting newborn pics taken is that newborns don't know what you are doing- and don't care. For instance, the photographer kept trying to "pose" Chance's feet but he doesn't like his feet touched so he would just move them. I love looking at the pics and remembering what she tried to do and seeing what he actually did. It's like the first glimpse into his little personality! I had a hard time choosing which ones to upload so excuse the overload!

4 Gens

 Last week, my grandma came into town. It was perfect timing! My grandma lives about 12 hours away so of course we don't get to see her near as often as we would like to. She was able to come at the perfect time because Chance was only a week old.

Living away from extended family is hard because Chance will be big before most of my family will get to see him. We took this opportunity to take a pic with 4 generations. I know 4 generations isn't rare or anything but living so far away, getting the 4 generations together IS rare.... and photo worthy. We hadn't planned on taking the pic so excuse my attire but I am already loving this picture.  

  

Being a new mom is such a crazy experience. I am so grateful to my mom and grandma for setting such great examples for me of what being a mother is all about. There are few other women I know that could compete with the love and sacrifices these women make for their children and grand children every single day. I love them so much! 

Baby Time- The Birth Story

This is going to be one of those posts that more serve for my records and memory than for anyone's reading enjoyment so feel free to close the window now.

On Sunday night, August 4th, I went into labor. I hadn't felt well on Saturday or Sunday and we had gone to my parent's for dinner that night. I went outside to sit on the swing and my mom came out with me. She felt my belly and we finally decided that I was having contractions and they seemed to be pretty close together. I was excited but didn't want to get my hopes up. We went on a short walk and me and Travis went home.

By this time, it was 10 at night. I tried to get comfortable and started timing the contractions. They were coming pretty quick so after about an hour, we decided we better go to the hospital. I was dilated to a 3 and definitely in labor. I was glad that it was real. I didn't want to be one of those people who go in and just get sent home for a false alarm.

They monitored me for an hour. They determined I was definitely in labor and gave me the option to go home and be in labor or stay at the hospital as things progressed. We opted to go home so that I could eat, sleep, and just be comfortable as things progressed. They gave me a morphine and phenergan shot in the butt and sent us home.

We went to my parent's house first and got a blessing from Travis and my dad. By the time we got home it was about 1:00 am. I didn't sleep AT ALL. I had contraction after contraction. I walked around during them because somehow that made it better, although that makes no sense. I also sat in front  of our AC unit after the contraction because that seemed to help as well. I sat in the bath tub probably 5 times. Walked around a lot. Went crazy. I did this for 4 and a half hours.

Then at 5:30, I had had it. I woke Travis up and said it was time to go back because I was completely exhausted and miserable. We got to the hospital and they checked me. A 6!! Thank heaven! The nurse couldn't believe I had waited so long to come back to the hospital but I didn't know haha also, I was having contractions every minute and a half.

They got an IV in me and got the anesthesiologist in to give me an epidural. I think getting the IV was worse than the epidural! The epidural gave me some much needed relief. My parents came to the hospital at 8:00 am. We all just waited for things to progress.

At 12 I was dilated to a 10 and ready to go. At 1:00, I started pushing. And pushing. And pushing. Things didn't seem to be progressing. Little Chance was face up so the doctor came in and tried to turn him. It worked for a while but he went back. Also he was chin up and presenting at a funny angle. I kept trying and pushing but not much was happening.

After 3 hours of pushing, the doctor gave us the option to try forceps or a C-section. I didn't feel good about forceps. I don't know much about delivering babies but I didn't think he was low enough to even attempt that. The doctor came in and agreed so we decided to do a C-section.

It all happened very fast after that. At about 4:15 we decided on a C-section and by 4:40 I was in the operating room. I was scared. I knew it's what had to be done but it was all happening so fast. They gave me some medication called reglan and  warned me that it makes some people behave kind of crazy. Well, I am one of those people. I sort of embarrassed myself in the operating room but Travis was there to comfort me and all of the doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologist were awesome and helped me through it.

Chance was born at 4:59 and I was so excited to hear him cry! I didn't get to see him but Travis went with him.  I missed Travis but I was glad that he went to be with Chance. The nurse came and showed me my baby and told me that they were taking him to the NICU because he was having a hard time breathing. I was scared but I trusted the doctors and nurses and Travis went with him.

After they were done, they moved me to a different bed and took me back to my room. The nurse gave me my phone and I texted Travis and my parents, who had been there waiting through all of this. They all came into my room to be with me. It was so hard because we didn't know anything about Chance. How big he was, or how he was doing. We waiting anxiously for news.

They finally gave us the OK to go to the NICU and see him. They had taken him off the CPAP and they were monitoring him. Thankfully, he was doing awesome and we just had to wait til he got cleared to go to mother baby. It was hard because I still couldn't hold him but at least I got to see him. He was perfect. Better than I could have even hoped for. I touched his feet (the only thing I could reach) and learned quickly that he has ticklish feet haha

We went down to mother baby and got settled in. Chance finally came down and Travis got to help bathe him and get him all cleaned up. I was anxious to see him but he had to have antibiotics ran which took another hour, so we waited some more. At 10:30, I finally got to hold my baby!!! What an awesome moment. A moment I have been waiting my whole life for.

Well there it is, the birth story. It was nothing like I had anticipated but I am so thankful that everything worked out and we have a happy, healthy baby boy with us! He is wonderful in every way and I could not ask for more.

Chance's Room

We finally finished the Baby's Room. At least as much as it is going to be finished before he comes haha. We really had fun picking things out and making it come together. We did all of it ourselves except laying the carpet. This is now, by far, the nicest room in the house. But I wouldn't have it any other way for our little Chance. 

Spoiled

Let me just start this post by saying that this upgrade/remodel was NOT elective. Our house is about 70 years old so we knew when we bought it that we would have some work to do. It honestly hasn't been bad up to this point and we haven't done much to it, which has been nice since we have both gone to school full time and worked full time.

However, at the end of April, there was water in our basement, coming from the ceiling. I knew it had to be our bathroom. We called a plumber and he came and couldn't see much wrong with it but it continued leaking/dripping/FLOODING into our basement. We stopped using the shower and started trying to get someone to come and look at it. Long story short..... about 2 months later, we finally have everything fixed. We ended up basically having to redo the entire bathroom from the studs out, because there was so much water damage.

But now I am pleased to say that we have a nice new bathroom and I no longer have to be disgusted or embarrassed by it. Here are some before and after pics. They really don't do it justice, but at least you will have an idea of all the changes that had to be done!

Mama's Boy

I think this kid is gonna be a Mama's boy. It seems like even now we have some sort of connection. Whenever I feel worried about him because of various things (kidney dilation, low fluid levels, or just being so big now) somehow he knows that I am concerned. I just want to know that he is ok. It seems like whenever I start to feel this way, Baby Chance knows and makes a special effort to move a lot more that day. I feel like if he is moving, at least I know that much is ok. Of course it's not the only indicator but especially this far along, it's the main one I need to be watching for. Thank you Baby Chance for catering to your crazy mother and moving extra when you know I am worried. What a good boy!

Any time now....

Well I am now 36 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Before I got pregnant and even during the beginning of my pregnancy, I never understood why women were so anxious to have the baby after 36 weeks. I thought, "you've gone this long, what's another 4 weeks?"

Well, I will tell you what another 4 weeks is!! It's only being able to sleep on the couch. It's peeing every hour, at least. It's being hot. It's not fitting into any of your clothes anymore. It's itching your belly and hoping you don't have stretch marks. It's round ligament pain bad enough to put you over the edge. *SIGH* Just to name a few haha. Needless to say, I am ready to have this kid. I didn't want to have him in July but now I don't even care haha if he came today, I would be ecstatic. But of course, who knows when he will make his appearance.

I got checked at the doctor yesterday and I am 1 cm dilated. 50% effaced. and -1 or -2 station. The doctor was actually really pleased with this! I'm hoping I will go into labor on my own and not have to be induced, even though just going into labor seems more scary than being induced haha

I am predicting the week of pioneer day, which I base off of absolutely nothing haha But that is my prediction. I have been feeling for a while that he would come in July, not August (August 7 is my due date). So for now I am being as lazy as possible. Sleeping lots. Nesting. Buying the last of the things I need and just generally getting excited. I have no idea what to expect and I dont think anyone can ever be "ready" to become a parent but we are sure anxious and excited! The room is almost done and I will be posting pics very soon. Also I got some maternity pics taken which I am excited to see and share with everyone!

Vegas Baby!

We had been looking forward to this vacation for a LONG TIME! P and B had even taught J to say "Vegas, baby!" When asked where we are going for her birthday haha smart little stinker. Despite the boiling hot temperatures, we had an awesome time!

We stayed at the Marriott Spring hill Suites which was really nice. The pool was on the roof! How crazy is that?! We cooled off and worked on our tans in our spare time.

We went to the M&M Factory where J met "Red" and absolutely loved him! We tried the drinks from around the world at the Coke Factory. Here is J's reaction to Beverly.

We went to the Secret Garden and enjoyed the Lions and Tigers as well as the Dolphins. They are amazing animals!

To celebrate J's birthday we went to Circus Circus. It was packed! I was a little surprised but it was a Saturday so I guess I shouldn't have been. J was soooo brave and at least tolerated going on the rides. She didn't love all of them but she didn't even cry! She's a tough cookie! Also, P played a carnival game and got first place so he got this minion which J later named "Cheeto"

It was such a fun trip and nice to get away as our last vacation without kids haha I love my family and I am so thankful for the good relationship we have so that we can do fun things like this together!