I have had a lot of friends lately posting about their kids
cute words and comments about things. I love to read them, kids really do say
the darndest things! However, it makes me a little sad because Chance is
nowhere near talking. I think if he swore or told me to shut up or something, I
wouldn’t even be mad because I would be so excited that he said it haha I have
blogged about Chance’s speech before. This post will be an update and some back
info, incase anyone else is going through the same thing.
Chance’s expressive language is about the level of a 8-12
month old (He is 21 months old). He has started babbling more and making a few
different consonant sounds He says dad and dog but I don’t know if other people
would know what he is saying. The word that I’m going to consider his real
first word is “ball.” It’s more complex than “da” and could be identified by a
stranger.
We sought help from Kids on the Move. I was very frustrated.
They told me to do things that I have done his whole life (read to him, talk to
him constantly, encourage speech, etc). They did all sorts of tests on him.
They were not able to find anything wrong with him. This was a relief but
frustrating. If there’s nothing wrong with him, why wont he talk? I honestly
felt that since they couldn’t find anything wrong, they started to attack my
parenting. We had been doing a few signs with him. They told us to increase our
vocabulary and sign everything that we say/communicate to him. This was
overwhelming for us. We tried to learn as many signs as we could. He was
somewhat receptive but not as much as we would have liked (or kids on the move
would have liked).
Upon further visits, they stressed signing everything to
him. I didn’t feel good about this approach. I didn’t feel that it was right.
Chance loves to sign, which isn’t a bad thing, but we need to encourage speech
at this time. He started to refuse to learn new signs.
Grasping for straws, his speech pathologist decided that he
lacked oral stimulation and suggested I get a device that he could chew on. It
sounded like a baby toy/dog toy to me. And I didn’t feel that this was right
for him. I had felt uncomfortable with her methods and lost sleep over it.
After the last visit I cried for over an hour! How could I do so poorly as a parent?
I have 2 degrees, if he really has all of these issues, how have I not noticed
them before? I felt terrible. I expressed my concerns to Travis. He was done
with it all and he canceled service.
Right now we are just working with him, basically continuing
to do what we have done his whole life.
He shows no other signs of delay and is actually advanced in everything
except speech. He continues to sign some words but has transitioned to some
sort of word/sound for the things he used to sign. We have talked to many
people who have had kids (seems to always be boys) that have had delayed speech
that are intelligent and have no problems later in life. If Chance nears age 3
and hasn’t improved considerably, we will likely seek professional help through
a private avenue but for now we are just celebrating his successes and
encouraging him along the way. It’s so
easy to pick someone apart and focus on what needs work rather than what they
are really great at! And Chance has MANY things that he is really great at! He
makes me a proud Mama!
People have the misconception that if someone can’t speak,
they are unable to communicate. This is not the case at all with Chance. He
sends and receives non verbal messages all day every day! This is actually
quite advanced for a 21 month old. He can read emotions and acts accordingly. I
rarely notice that he doesn’t talk because we communicate so well.
I realize that this is such a small and insignificant trial
as a parent. However, I did not anticipate having a child with this random
issue. It has taught me patience and made me realize that there is only so much
you can do as a parent. It ultimately lies with the child. I think this is good
for me to realize now, before Chance is even 2.
Sorry, this turned into quite a lengthy post but I want to
document our experience and let other people know that they are not alone.
