• We finished two years in Bangalore and it’s ok.
• Our cat Cosmo died and my heart broke into a million pieces and I’m still putting it back together again
• I started trying to drive and progress has been very slow with some scary bumps along the way
• My relationship with Nene was stretched to breaking point, but we seem to have found our equilibrium again.
• I saw the Taj Mahal and it was gorgeous. We also went to Pondicherry, a place I’ve wanted to see for ages and it was lovely too.
• We went to Hong Kong and the sense of belonging/not belonging was weird
• Had a wonderful reunion with college friends in Bali – so much laughter! – but also a weird interaction with close friend that still bugs me
• Reunited with my cousin Pri and it is great to have reignited that relationship
• My work timings shifted and I had to ease up on being the kids’ tuition teacher. The results have been so-so but there’s nothing I can do.
• Work has become increasingly inane and I have to remind myself of the money I’m being paid.

I realise from doing this that this was not a completely shit year, but it feels like it because of Cosmo’s death and the blahness of work and the general fullness of most of my days with things I’d rather not be doing. I honestly have no desire to make resolutions or adopt a word or think of the next year or the years after that as anything more than a Sisyphean task to be got through, rinse and repeat, with some holidays, nice meals, conversations with friends, sweet moments with the children thrown in to make it bearable.

The kids finished their term exams. I actually came out of it feeling pretty rested, since I could get stuff done in the mornings, but then work was madness so that was all undone.

I put myself out there socially to mixed results. People, myself included, are weird. I really have to fight the instinct to retreat entirely into my comfort zone a la V.

The kids had sports day, an event I usually look forward to, though Nene boycotted the athletics and then injured his leg the day before so attend. Mimi gamely took part and I enjoyed watching her.

The road outside our apartment is being dug up with the result that plans to get back (literally) in the driver’s seat were thwarted. Also, the entire area is covered in dust. I went out to the bank and came back feeling like I had been on a quest in a desert.

The parents, sister and her family descended for Christmas and it was so good although:
a. I had a tiff with SIL1 over her bossiness over my Christmas lunch order
b. I got pissed with my mum for being self-centered, which is a surprising trait for her to have developed aged 76.

Mostly, we did lunches at various people’s houses, but we got in one day in town in which we:
a. Saw Vidhana Soudha up close and I was the only one that thought it was great
b. Walked through Cubbon Park (adults were impressed)
c. Had lunch at Smokehouse Deli (everyone happy, although burgers and fries were inexplicably spicy)
d. Walked down church street and Brigade Road and did some shopping
c. Went to Cauvery Handicrafts where BIL resisted urge to buy another statue and I bought a silver chain (encouraged by V who said it was an “investment”)

The kids got on well enough for my two to decide they wanted to go to Bombay with their cousins and my parents after all. This meant booking tickets last minute. We told them they’d have to pay for 70 per cent of the price since they had had a chance to decide this earlier and they still wanted to go.

I had a few child-free days, and normally I would plan something to do every evening but this time I just worked, watched TV with V and went to sleep (and wrote some blog posts). I didn’t even get a pedicure although my heels are in a terrible state. Part of this is because my work timings have shifted and I kind of need to keep tabs on work, or it’s too much hassle not to, but I also feel quite smug about just hanging at home.

I kind of crashed emotionally on the last day of the year when I suddenly was struck by a wave of grief over the loss of Cosmo, had a stupid argument with V and just found work depressing.

I had no New Year’s Even plans which is fine by me because I consider it the most pointlessly overhyped event, and was working on New Year’s (less okay, but I did get five days off over Christmas). But just thinking of the clusterfuck that the year had been and feeling no sense of positive anticipation for 2026 – the little flame of optimism I had started nurturing pretty much died when my cat did – my overwhelming emotion was bleh.