Today is Wear Blue on 2/22 day at Coral Canyon.  It is an anti bullying day at school and they are all supposed to wear blue in support of not bullying or letting other people bully them.  I think it is so important that we not only teach our kids about not bullying their classmates, but also their friends.   Bullying is not just about a big kid stealing your lunch or pushing your down.  After having 4 girls that have all had experiences with "friend bullying" , I am always amazed that the people that are supposed to be their best allies, a lot of times end up hurting them the worst and really bullying them.  Friends are the ones who hurt their self esteem, who make them feel not good enough, who judge based on clothes or how they act or how they look.....it is so important that we are vigilant with our own kids and make sure they are not part of this growing problem!

My Dearest Angel Baby,

Today is your sweet 16!  I can hardly believe that the time has passed so fast and that today would be such a huge milestone for you.  Though I know that driving and dating are not to be for you today, I still long for that.  I miss that I will not get to help you get ready for your first date or dance with a boy and that I don't get to help you learn to drive or get to take you to get your drivers license soon.  Those are truly things that make my heart ache for you.  It is these kinds of moments that make the pain of loosing a child real.  For the most part, the day to day of missing you is just a fleeting moment, but today for those moments that I think of the "what could have beens", my heart aches.  I can only dream, but still in is something that will always remain.  I know that someday I will get these moments, our Heavenly Father has promised that we will get to raise you.  Until then, I will try my best to think of the positives and the memories that I do still have of you.

I ran a marathon for you a couple days ago.  It was more entising to me to know that it would be on the day you died.  You gave me strength in those moments that were the hardest for me.  I was so happy that the finish line is so close to the cemetery.  In those moments when I didn't think I could run any further, knowing that I was running towards you made it easier.  I would just keep thinking with every step, run to Rylan, run to Rylan, and it made it possible.  Your sister even had tape and signs all over her body reminding me why I was running a marathon.  It was sweet.

I am always amazed when the kids tell me that they miss you.  It is not often, but it still strikes me as amazing.  I wonder how they can miss somebody that they have never met.  Then I have to remind myself that they have met you and that they do know you.  It is often Daxton that is the one who says he misses you and we have decided it is because he is the last to have been with you in the Spirit World.  I am just happy that they keep your spirit and memory alive in our home.

It is sad to me that my thoughts of you dwindle year by year.  There are quiet moments when I think of you, but for the most part they are scarce.  That kind of scares me, but it also means that I have truly moved past your death, and that is good.  When death happens, it is so fully consuming that you think that you will never get over it, but little by little, day by day, year by year, I have gotten over it.  My heart still has a piece with a hole in it, but I am at peace.  I know that my Heavenly Father's plan for me included losing a child that I would fight every day to be able to see again.  I know that He knows me well enough to know that not only can I handle the time without you, I can also help others who are coping with more recent loses.  I never thought I would find gratitude in this trial, but I have.  I have been shaped, in some ways, by your death.  I have become the mother, wife and person that I am because of you.  So thank you, for being willing to be the valiant spirit and servant of the Lord that you are.  I know that our time apart is short in the grand scheme of Eternity and am so grateful for the knowledge that I have that we will be forever together someday if I do my part!

Happy Sweet 16!

Love, 

Mom

New Years Eve Weekend 2011

We were lucky enough to have visitors right before the New Year. Tony's brother, John, niece, and his brothers girlfriend and son came down and spent a couple days with us. We had some fun at Grafton, his girlfriend, Danni had never been to Zions or anywhere near there so we had to go! What a beautiful day it was to spend in Zions!

We hiked to the top on the Canyon Overlook trail..... I forgot how nervous it makes me to have all my little kids up there!

Kamren showing off her hiking stick her dad HAD to let her have! Spoiled!

Tony and his brother

The crew! We all finished to hike without any problems!

After that, we ended our year with the Wrights and the Maxwells coming over for games. The kids ended up just messing around the whole night and watching some fireworks outside. We played Scattergories....I don't think we are going to get Marty to play that game with us ever again! He isn't a fan of how me play!

Kenzie and Ruby had fun with Mosaic Art!

Crazy kids! Only in St George can your kids be outside playing on New Years Eve!

We ended the night early...telling them it was time about 11:30...they ran outside and banged some pots and pans and that was it! The year is over!

Here's to a fabulous 2012!

Steam Train

Every time we go to O-town we HAVE to go to the Union Station to see the trains. Most of the time, the kids just climb all over the trains that have been parked there for years. Not this time! A real steam train was pulling into Ogden and there was not way that anybody in this family was going to miss it! They were so excited!

While we waited for it to make its appearance, they found plenty of junk! That kept them entertained, since we showed up an hour early! ;)

Grandma and Papa waiting for the trains!

Apparently I thought this girl was extra cute today because I have lots of pictures of her!

It finally arrived! They actually pulled it in backwards, which was anticlimactic! I guess it is easier for it to make an exit when it is already pointed in the right direction! This thing was loud! Daxton was so excited....until it actually got close enough that he could hear it! He b-lined it for the fence and stayed stuck against it until it had moved past us! Kind of funny that Train Boy didn't know how loud steam trains are!

Here are the two train boys! They both were like giddy little kids! I think it is so fun that Papa and Daxton both love trains so much! We had some hot chocolate and donuts and let the kids climb on the trains for over an hour. That should keep them satisfied until the next time!

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! We trekked up North for the holiday, since we aren't going back for Christmas since it is too much hassle! The kids were so excited to go that we found them all in the car before Tony and I had even gotten out of our pajamas! They love to go to Grandma and Papa's house!

I am so grateful for these little people! They teach me so much! I can't even imagine my life without them!

We made "Turkey Oreo's" after the big meal! I can't believe I didn't even get a group shot of dinner! Oops!
Kenzie made her own version! Chocolate free, of course! She is still holding strong on her Chocolate Diet!
Me and Grandma D! This lady has been a great grandma and an awesome example throughout my whole life!

Kenzie and Zackie! My kids had so much fun playing with their cousins all weekend.

Grandma and Papa and all...well most...of their grandkids!

Friday we caught a movie. We went for Arthur Christmas this year. It was cute and a good way to get into the holiday spirit!
Saturday night, we headed to downtown for the annual Santa Clause parade. We were all bundled up, thank goodness! It was cold! Nobody complained, though. We just couldn't feel our feet! My kids were sad that they didn't get to see the Christmas Village this year. They took a long time to light it up this year, after the parade. We decided to skip it. We will have to make sure we plan better next year because they love to look at all the houses.

It was a great time...but we were so glad to go home! It is WAY to cold for us Southern Utah people up there! I think they need to all come to us next year!

Time Out For Women Times 2!!!

I was so lucky, this year, to have TWO Time Out for Women experiences! In 2 different cities.

First, I took a solo trip to Virginia to go with my amazing and wonderful friend, Dion! I don't think when I told her I was coming several months ago that she even believed that I was serious! I don't know that I thought I was serious when the thought first came about! But we had some points so I could get an airline ticket for $12, and I stayed with her, so the trip was pretty cheap! Virginia is beautiful this time of year, and my visit was so fun! We ran together, stayed up way too late, enjoyed good food, and just laughed. It is so fun to be around somebody that you know you can be yourself around and that they are going to do the same. I miss having her close. We went with some girls from her new ward, and though it wasn't quite like the old days of all of us Southern Utah girls going, it was a fun experience. My visit was WAY too short and I truly wish I would have had at least a couple more days, but I was so grateful that I got to go, and so grateful to my husband and mom and sister, who took care of the kids. Funny though, that it took 3 of them to do my job! Ha ha! Just kidding, you guys are amazing! Thanks for being willing to take on my crew!

My TOFW stalker picture for this time was Brad Wilcox. I love how this guy can bring the scriptures to life and make you feel the love that the Savior has for each of us individually! He has a wit and a charm about him that I love.

My favorite thing he talked about was about the word sacrifice. He said that in Latin the word sacrifice means to make sacred. We have to be willing to take the extra steps to become closer to Christ by doing. It is a choice whether we sit back and let live go by, or do something to make our life reflect what Christ expects and sees in us. When we are not willing to make a change for the better, we are denying the redeeming qualities of the Savior! I loved this!

I also loved a talk that Merrilee Boyack gave. She gave a talk on "Becoming U". She outlined how to do this, and I thought it was great advice.

B-Be bold. We are all leaders in our own ways. With God by our side we can do anything that we are commanded to do.

E- Eternally minded. The decision to stay true and faithful can affect generations to come.

C- Creative. Each of us can create great things in our own special way.

O-Outward focused. Seek for those around us that are in need of help. As we seek for this, we will be guided by the Lord to be able to find and help those in need.

M- Meek. We can reject pride by being meek and humble. We came here to learn to love our Lord, our neighbors, ourselves. We need to focus on accomplishing that instead of meaningless things.

E-Enlightened. Ask the Lord what He needs us to do today and He will guide us!

U-Unique. We all have a unique purpose here on this Earth. We need to seek to find it and do the very best we can to live our or Heavenly Father's individual destiny for each of us.

So many times we try so hard to be what other people are, and yet we are never supposed to be somebody else. I am so grateful for the gifts and talents that my Heavenly Father has given me and so grateful for His guidance on how I am supposed to refine them. I came home so grateful for my family! They make me so happy and so crazy all at the same time! I am always so excited to have a minute away, but once I am away from them I miss them like crazy! They are my world, and I am so happy that I get to live in the Eternities with them.

A month later, I got to do it all again...with different friends! Mandy and Jess came from up North and we got to say in Jess's In-Law's amazing house. Wow! We could have stayed there for a week and never got bored! Again, we ate good food, stayed up way to late, and had lots a great girl time! I am so grateful to have so many amazing examples and great friend to look up to and turn to.

Jason Wright gave a great talk about having your eyes open for opportunities to serve others, there by serving the Lord. We all have our eyes wide open now!!!

My stalker picture this time was Hilary Weeks! We had to wait in line twice to get a picture with her, but it was worth the wait! Hilary is my favorite part of TOFW. She is just as much a presenter as all the rest and I feel like I always get just as much, if not more, from her as the others. I love that she is so down to earth and always brings the Spirit through her music. She makes all of us better moms and wives with her words. She also did this experiment with a hand counter, that was awesome. Each time she had a bad thought she would click her little hand counter and see how many bad thoughts she had in a day. She did this for a week and then did it the other way, clicking her good thoughts... I think I need to try this. It would probably be embarrassing how many negative thoughts I have in a day!

Thank you girls for a fun weekend! Can't wait until next year! Vegas, baby!!

I Heart Faces | Black

I forgot how much I loved these pictures of Kenzie until I saw the theme over at I Heart Faces this week! In fact, this picture reminds me how much I love taking pictures of this sweet girl! She is always so patient and willing to put up with my antics! I love her more and more each day! It also made me wish I had taken the time to do mini photo shoots with this years Halloween costumes! Maybe I can still get away with recreating them, right?!! It is only the first week in November!!! You can see other great BLACK pictures by heading over to I Heart Faces!