but really, i think 2004 has been quite the kickass year. i mean, from the really weird high we started with in sc9 (asinine! ian poh! i get the joke!), to the really depressed, gloomy, standoffish and anti-stuff-which-i-shouldnt-say period in the middle of the year and finally ending with this happy i-love-you-and-you-and-you-and-yes-even-you mood, i have quite quite enjoyed this year.
looking back, i think ive changed a far bit. from that bitchy, cold person at the end of sec 4 to the well, less bitchy and generally less cold boy i am now. yeah, boy. i hesitate to call myself a man yet. (i dont know. the word 'man' seems to carry a huge maturity and responsibilty which, frankly, i dont want yet. soon. maybe after ns or something.) but, i quite like the boy that i am now.
this year's the year i rediscovered the joys of being cheesy (which, if you do it to the extreme, it ceases to be ridiculous and instead becomes damn hilarious), and i think, ive stopped trying to be bitchy and instead, just am bitchy. oh. and its the year where i became tres poseur yeahh. i think thats a huge highlight of my year.
*gag*
frankly, i dont know what memories of this year will still be with me in 5 years and time and in all probability, next year, i'll be looking back at this entry and go 'gooosh. did i really say that?' but still, i guess i should record down a summary of this year. lets see now.
orientation. ahlian! my dear ahlian!
slacking school with paul. oh, walking out of school on the pretext of selling funorama tickets and heading straight to orchard to catch lost in translation before cabbing back to take the math test, which incidentally, i failed.
the squad. here's to our unusally strong bonds. oh, and here's to the death of the squad which is happening even as i type this.
fun o rama. 'pirates of the momobean' forever!
artsfac rocks! well, at least for the 2 weeks that i was in there.
sd3. my dear class. my dear class which im never with.
sd4. ahh. my adopted class. actually, thinking about it, sd4 has an unusally high number of hot people. and my class is absolutely deprived of any. bah.
antichoirperiod.
bumming around before the promos with all my dear little fellow slackers.
religion. may you keep my confused forever and ever.
being self aware. ahh. both a curse and a blessing. here's to the countless analysis that i do of my actions.
post promo bliss. ahh holland.
carolling. which really, turned out to be more fun than expected.
the start of the backlash. inevitable.
here's to a better 2005 darlings. may we all revel in our ignorance, and let us all strive to get the straight As which our parents so desire. and since we all arnt gonna meet that target, lets all go and party next year out.
whee.
hey you! 5:34 PM. (0) comments
stupid twits. how am i suppose to fill up my cip hours at this rate?
hey you! 5:02 PM. (0) comments
and i kinda miss blogging. oh darling little sugerplum. daddy's missed you so. im gonna treat you right and update you everyday. i think ive kinda gotten my sis to do the html in such a way that if you miss one day, youve got no chance of reading what i wrote unless you ask me nicely.
and we all know how mr joey quek (think heels and pink feather boas at this point) is not exactly the nicest creature on earth.
but on another note, harold and kumar go to white castle is quite the kickass film.
today was one horribly funny day.
in short:
1. the harold and kumar go to white castle commentary.
2. walking to the bus stop and walking back home just for fun.
3. reading 4 days worth of newspapers in a go.
4. removing my metal brackets! whoohoo! 2 more weeks till i can french again.
5. standing outside bibi and baba, scrutinizing all the future ac kids and making all sorts of catty remarks.
6. getting my uber funky nerd glasses.
7. eating macdonald's and bitching with my sister.
actually, ive no idea how that last little paragraph was in any way, remotely interesting to any of you. but still.
ive got a blogging duty that i intend to fulfill.
i feel terribly kitschy today. like a polka dotted bowtie on a pink shirt. or as dictionary.com (my best friend!) so nicely encapsulates it, like a kitsch kitchen which has aqua-and-white gingham curtains and rubber duck-yellow walls painted in a fried-egg motif
tralala. thats all for today folks.
till we meet again.
hey you! 11:46 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 12:11 AM. (0) comments
shit man. funny stuff.
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 14
Dearest John:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Partridge in a Pear Tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and devotion,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 15
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine - Two Turtle Doves! I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 16
Dearest John:
Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity - Three French Hens! They are just delightful, but I must insist, you've been too kind.
Love,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 17
Dearest John:
Today the postman delivered Four Calling Birds. Now really, you're being too romantic. They are beautiful, but don't you think that enough is enough?
Affectionately,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 18
Dearest John:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered Five Golden Rings - one for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
Love,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 19
Dear John:
When I opened the door, there were actually Six Geese-A-Laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 20
John:
What's with you and those fucking birds? Seven Swans-A-Swimming! What kind of a goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck - it's not funny. So stop with those fucking birds!
Sincerely,
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 21
OK Buster!
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 Maids a Milking? It's not enough with all these birds and maids a milking, but they had to bring their goddamn cows! There's shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.
Just lay off me, smartass!
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 22
Hey Shithead:
What are you, some kind of sadist? Now there are nine Pipers Piping! And Christ do they play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 23
You Rotten Prick!
Now there's Ten Ladies Dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. The cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I'm siccing the police on you.
One who means it!!
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Meadow, Col.
December 24
Listen Fuckhead:
What's with the Eleven Lords a Leaping on those Maids and Ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 birds are dead, they've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you vicious, rotten swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
Law Offices
Badger, Bender & Cajole
303 Knave Street
Chicago, Ill.
December 25
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift of the Twelve Drummers Drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All future cor-respondence should be sent to our attention. If you should attempt to contact Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot on sight! With this letter you will find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Bender & Cajole
hey you! 5:41 PM. (0) comments
aww. dont we all love the cheesy messages and expensive gifts that come along our way this time of the year?
today was a tad bit weird. it started off with my brother singing what you waiting for to wake me up and had an episode where me and my mom discussed our favourite drinks (hard core alcohol!) and ended with me and my brother sitting down to watch a lesbian musical.
yes yes. arnt we the model christian family that everyone aspires to be like?
but anyway, since its christmas (aww.), i shall shove my cynicism aside and embrace the spirit of the season just like everyone else. so there. i shall swear off snide remarks, witty retorts and everything else which makes me seem bitter and sardonic.
so yes. i do love you.
hey you! 12:33 AM. (0) comments
beatles; the number ones.
fcuk.
topman.
a mini ipod.
more funky striped shirts.
the nice armani xchange jacket.
my own digicam.
the 7200.
money. always a nice gift.
hot bod.
christian toy.
world peace.
hey you! 6:33 PM. (0) comments
words of wisdom.
hey you! 5:28 PM. (0) comments
well, at least no more for the rest of this year. (which really, if you think about it, only lasts for 7 more days, so thats not such a long time as it sounds.)
im sick of it.
yupyup.
so long then.
hey you! 2:19 AM. (0) comments
go figure.
hey you! 11:16 AM. (0) comments
hey you! 10:15 AM. (0) comments
if i had to sum up how today had been, it would be: jesus freak. him crying. tired. wonderfully high. carrying bags and keeping tags. feeling so affected. crashing down again. being really grumpy. running past mr sum saying really loudly 'where are we going to eat' to mel. the suprised look on his face. swinging the shoebag around 360 degrees outside the restaurant. thunderfarts. sam's determintation. mrs tay briefing us underneath a plastic tree. playing with the 'stones'. me and cass tipping toe to see qinghao's girlfriend. chloe asking why i was so interested. jeffery stepping on my shoes and grace saying 'nevermind. its only joey' and me saying the exact same thing to her when he stepped on her. grace whacking me. feeling so horrid after the 1st performance. pandan cakes. cynical looks. laughs. bracers. silence. crapping with grace wan during the waiting for the waiting room. the barbie doll clip they were showing on the screen while we were waiting. crummy lunches. the wonderful feeling of just lazing around with friends on a hot afternoon. yongkiat coming down to see us. line asking me if she should bath today or tomorrow. looking back and realising that things are over. the purple shirt. the off purple harley davidson shirt.
and now that things are just almost over, ive realised that these past two months have meant a lot to me. as cheesy as it sounds, i really like our batch.
just last night, me and cass were saying how we almost didnt want our juniors to come in because we've just gotten used to our batch and how we wanted to savour the feeling somemore.
and really now, despite our inconsistency,the numerous pep talks we've had and the way we all cant 'stand' certain people, ive realised that i really really do like everyone in it and though i might bitch about certain individuals, there really comes a time when you just accept everyone for the way they are.
and i really dont want to admit this because it sounds really really weird coming from me, but i guess, you just start feeling attached to people/things if youre given enough time and you approach it with an open mind.
yeahh.
hey you! 12:03 AM. (0) comments
im extremely tired right now because of the experience of going through the whole gamut of emotions today.
aii. lets just say carolling takes up a lot of energy.
but! but! im feeling really happy now because of rachael's pwetty card. haha and maybe, just maybe i'll go and have a really deep talk with someone tomorrow. yeahh! during dinner at fish and co or something. then we all can go shopping for christmas gifts in the afternoon tomorrow.
im not making sense am i?
haha i blame it chocolates. or rather the lack of it.
hey you! 11:52 PM. (0) comments
well, at least for the 1st 3 months.
yay. eye candy.
hey you! 12:49 AM. (0) comments
and i dont see the big fuss about bitching about friends. ok fine, so we're friends. so what? that doesnt mean i cant point out your flaws to other people. im just being very.. objective here.
and why oh why cant certain people just get over stuff. i mean, i think the best way of moving on is just to let go. yeah sure. hold on to the memories of something so painful for eons on end, and then come running to us when you find that it hurts.
bah. stupid people.
hey you! 11:34 PM. (0) comments
the diet's off till the jolly season's over. and er, by jolly season here, i mean chinese new year.
ha.
hey you! 11:22 PM. (0) comments
or rather, i knew how to do it four hours ago.
haha i seem to have forgotten the steps though.
bummer.
hey you! 4:44 PM. (0) comments
but really now, all i want's a hug.
'if i go too far, would you spank me?'
haha thanks krys.
hey you! 11:50 PM. (0) comments
ahh.
those were the days when people talking to us just gave up after awhile cause they couldnt get a word in due to the continuous flow of words streaming from our mouths.
and i miss those times when we would banter and shoot one liners at each other for hours on end. ahh. no one in jc's anywhere near the standard of those two. haha i kinda miss that whole 'clashing of tongues' thingy. its was so.. intense. haha it was like you could literally see the sharpening of our wits.
and now i think my wit's become dull because of the lack of that certain class of people in jc. i mean, dont get me wrong, there still are bitchy people in ac, way too many in fact, but the thing is, they all lack that certain.. something. that.. intangible thing which's really hard to classify but you can instantly recognize when you see it.
i think ive only met 2 people so far who have that thing in abundance. david tay and jun hui. haha but david tay was and is still too scary for me. haha.
hey you! 5:54 PM. (0) comments
haha i dont know. things seem to be coming together nowadays. everything's just coming along swimmingly.
there's this misplaced sense of elation within me. its a really nice feeling. it just makes me want to reach out and hug people.
urgh. joey in a lovey dovey mood is not a pretty sight.
i really wanna learn the next year's mass dance. haha blame it on the boogie's becoming a major earworm. and superstar. ohh. haha im so gonna crash the ogs.
and everyday, i fall deeper into this beautiful mess.
hey you! 12:10 AM. (0) comments
dont blame it on the moonlight
dont blame it on the good times
Blame it on the boogie
hey you! 10:41 AM. (0) comments
a packet of horfun
an eight of a slab of chocolate
a mini sausage bun
urgh. my worst day yet.
hey you! 7:03 PM. (0) comments
hmmm. i shall go appoint her as directory of crabtree and evelyn.
hey you! 5:14 PM. (0) comments
haha nahh. actually, i didnt want to go for lunch cause:
1. everyone here's like over 30.
2. im on a diet.
things ive eaten today: 3/4 a packet of nasi lemak
ha. and all im having for lunch is a chocolate donut.
and im going running with zhu later.
hahahahahah. man. im gonna be soooooooo thin.
hey you! 1:56 AM. (0) comments
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray
It might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let's talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
Good night baby
Sleep tight baby
Good night baby
Sleep tight baby
haha dont we all love sappy love songs?
hey you! 12:09 AM. (0) comments
things ive eaten today:
ikea's small swedish balls.
an apple.
a mini sausage bun.
hey you! 11:20 PM. (0) comments
thats why im always late.
hey you! 10:11 PM. (0) comments
A distant ship floats on the horizon
You're only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you’re saying
When I was a child I caught a fever
My hands felt like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This isn’t how I am
I have become comfortably numb
hey you! 9:06 PM. (0) comments
teen angst rocks.
hey you! 8:55 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 10:12 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 9:11 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 11:36 AM. (0) comments
do good christian boys touch themselves?
i mean, the really good ones. the ones who are ohsodevoted to god.
and for that matter, do pastors have lustful thoughts about their spouses in the middle of sermon?
kinky thoughts.
hey you! 10:48 PM. (0) comments
haha.
man, i need to go get some fresh air.
hey you! 10:28 AM. (0) comments
aii.
i wanna meet my mrs jones too. then she can pay for all my meals and clothes :)
hey you! 8:42 PM. (0) comments
acjc choir :)
hey you! 7:39 PM. (0) comments
yupyup. shes spending the night there to recover from a 40 min surgery which could easily have been done in one of those day surgery places.
and my brother's there with her too, busily soaking in the long bath and eating all the marvey stuff in the fridge.
ahh. the wonders of using your company's expense account.
hey you! 11:06 PM. (0) comments
There is a god. the thing is, i just dont know if he/she is the Christian god.
its basically impossible to look at the things around you without acknowledging that there is indeed a greater power in the universe. i mean, for scientists to say that life on earth started with a single cell dividing itself into two in the newly formed ocean frankly requires a whole lot more of the suspension of disbelief than actually accepting that god created life.
there has to be someone out there who created things right? life cannot have simply sprung forth from nothing.
the thing is, i just dont know if the god out there is the Christian god. i mean, religion. the bible's written by men, inspired by god. but how do we know that? its cause the bible says so. am i the only one who sees the problem there? The thing is, men might have added that line into the bible to give their works credence. and im not just criticizing Christianity here. islam, Hinduism and what not, its all the same. i mean, are they not all based on a book/work/holy scripture? the thing is, how do we know that what they proclaim to be fact is real. i mean, frankly, the only way for you to believe the bible would be to suspend disbelief and cynicism. and maybe that’s something im not ready for yet.
and the whole thing about jesus dying on the cross for us. i dont know. i mean ok, lets say there was a man, good enough to die for us, then what? Does that make him god/ the son of god? i mean, as much as I like the idea of someone else taking away our responsibility for our actions, why would anyone do so?
and i dont even know if im a Christian anymore. i mean, heck. i still pray and all, but the thing is, who on earth am i praying to? i mean, i might say jesus, dear god and all, but how on earth do i know that im actually praying to him. i mean, a name is just a name. I can easily substitute Jesus for Allah. And what happens if I happen to be praying to the unknown god out there and am only using god's name to address the god? Do the prayers go to jesus, if hes real, or do they go to this unknown god.
oh shit. i so did not make sense in the last paragraph.
When people say they’ve been touched by the Holy Spirit at concerts and all, I get really reluctant to believe them. I mean, haven’t you heard good music before? Who’s to say that youve not really truly experienced god and instead, you just got really affected by the head swinging music that’s being played. It’s the same with being ‘touched by the spirit’. I mean, frankly you could go to a church service expecting to be touched and this incites the subconscious to secrete chemicals which then induce the whole experience. How do you know that’s not whats happens instead?
the thing is, i look at all the good boys and girls around me and wish that i had their faith in accepting that their god is the real god.
i think my main problem with religion is that i cannot accept the initial suspension of disbelief.
the thing about growing up in a Christian family for 17 years of your life is that after a while, you dont know if you actually do things because you believe in them, or if things happen because theyre habits. i mean, if someone came up to me now and told me allah was the REAL god, id frankly laugh at him. i mean, if there was any god that i believe in, it would be the Christian god. the thing is, i dont know if thats because ive been conditioned to believe so or if its because frankly, the gods of the other religions do not appeal to me.
screw it.
you people who grew up in non Christian families have it easy. you dont doubt yourself when you proclaim that you believe in the bible. you dont question the reason for your belief. frankly now, i think ive become desensitized to the whole idea that jesus came down from heaven to take our sins. and correct me if im wrong, but isnt that the whole crux of the Christian doctrine? so how am i suppose to claim that i believe in something when frankly ive become immune to the main message.
urgh.
i think i claim to be antichristian because its fashionable. but then again, this whole issue about not knowing who i am might just be happening cause i like self doubt.
Damn.
can you see my dilemma? i doubt myself doubting god.
how screwed up is that?
hey you! 8:38 PM. (0) comments
haha. but this time its really weird. i mean, the person's really weird.
urgh. enough said.
hey you! 11:12 PM. (0) comments
He works from nine till five and then,
He takes another home again to find me waitin' for him '
urgh. major earworm.
hey you! 9:19 PM. (0) comments
oh dear. poor horny ian. imagine being confined in a wheelchair with no way of doing stuff and facing temptation at every waking moment. oh boy oh boy. he'll positively be squirming when we go visit him tomorrow.
shirin darling, wear your shortest skirt.
oh. and last night, me and shirin came up with our plan for next year. it basically consists of 2 parts.
part one: screw a j1 guy and girl each
part two: after menon's done with the rugby team, we're gonna make our way down CF, starting with the head/vicehead.
oh boy. cant wait for jan.
hey you! 11:54 PM. (0) comments
right. and how was i suppose to know?
i mean, do i look like a freaking bio student?
hey you! 9:07 PM. (0) comments
dont ask why german.
cause really, i have no idea why either.
hey you! 6:03 PM. (0) comments
so i shouldnt worry eh?
but then again, lymphoma still is cancer you know. and cancer's really scary. its like the big bad wolf out in the world trying to get into our little temples.
aii.
hey you! 5:32 PM. (0) comments
haha not that it really matters of course.
hey you! 12:04 AM. (0) comments
hey you! 9:08 PM. (0) comments
if thats the case, then the new girl at urbanease gives the most mind-blowing-sex-that-never-was ever.
hey you! 11:27 AM. (0) comments
hey you! 12:34 AM. (0) comments
hmm.
sometimes, i just want my own personal pastor. haha. that way, id be able to call him up anytime, anywhere to ask him clarify my doubts.
and no. im not suddenly thinking of going back christian cause of a band.
gosh.
how shallow do you think i am?
hey you! 9:32 PM. (0) comments
aii.
achy breaky heart
all that she wants
betcha by golly wow
can we still be friends?
come go with me
come together
fly me to the moon
hey jude
i will survive
i wanna hold your hand
ive never been to me
jambalaya
love potion #9
love sneaking up on you
love will keep us together
me and mrs jones
my boyfriend's back
please mr postman
proud mary
romeo and juliet
runnin down a dream
strawberry fields forever
twist and shout
YMCA
you cant hurry love
youre so vain
i dont know. i think my taste in music's quite weird.
oh, and ive discovered this song on my computer titled jesus freak. er.. its quite funky really for a christian band. haha i couldnt stop laughing for the 1st min or so. its just so.. nice really.
hey you! 9:30 PM. (0) comments
but suffice to say, its a really profound thought, or rather, i would like to think that its a profound thought.
well, no. it really is not a profound thought. its quite simplistic in idea but hmmm.
haha doesnt it just totally irk you that you still have no idea what i just realised?
aii. one day lah
hey you! 11:22 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 11:58 PM. (0) comments
i dont know many things in life, but the one thing im sure of is that retail therepys a damn good pick-me-up.
i think ive changed over this hols. im suddenly tired of playing the bitch. but then again, this might just be pseudomaturity and everything will be back to normal when school starts.
im an obsessive spender. i buy things just for the sake of spending money.
i like the goodchristianboys/girls. suddenly i feel like being the role model cf boy. urgh.
hey you! 9:52 PM. (0) comments
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