i am not.
right?
haha im sweet, innocent and nice.
hey you! 9:54 PM. (0) comments
AI.
but ohmygod. its not just the apparent innocence. its what the person said in sec 3 thats haunting me as well right now.
how apt that julia decided to draw a 'im drooling face' on my right hand during class today.
have had a rather two nifty back-to-back days. wont bore everyone by narrating them though. haha ask me in school and i might tell you. but i guess i should note down some of the rather more interesting (i hope) stuff that happened.
1. rushed down to the band concert yesterday after choir. had maggiemee by the river! which really now must have seem quite strange to the bunch of japanese tourists hanging around. they probably got the impression that funky, cool people in singapore (ie. ME) dress up all nice and stuff before heading to the singapore river to eat meegoreng.
2. THE CHOCOLATE BAR. ohmygod, heaven. suckkao (suck karl!) and chocolate fondue!
3. obsessing for 4 hours over whether i had closed the locker, and whether my baby was safe in school.
4. the lazy feel of this afternoon. felt like a sunday afternoon, more than anything.
5.finding out that my baby was offically two months old. happy two months darling!
6. the curious incident of miss menon at the coffee bean where a certain someone claimed that she was reading the menu when she really was shooting glances at someone else instead.
oh dear, i seem to be rather high on lust and this entry's stale. things arnt flowing out. or rather, the things that are suppose to be flowing out arnt flowing out.
*winks*
must be the lust.
come to daddy my little chick, and i'll show you just how we chickens lay our eggs.
hey you! 6:05 PM. (0) comments
do you know what ive realised? do you know what ive realised? ive realised that our conversations have taken a very sex-and-the-city turn. i mean, come on, sensitive body parts, well-placed showerheads, whispered conversations about who's in lust with who. darn it, we've become stylish.
i think im miranda. not because she's fat with a kid (im still on season 4), smart or anything of that like, but because she's a prude.
i am a prude.
dont touch me.
but onto another group of friends now. the thought struck me today as i was walking through the void deck that ive pulled away from them, and although it was a rather conscience decision, it bothers me slightly that i dont miss them. why darlings why?
oh go fuck yourself.
nevermind, with my baby beside me, i'll be able to blast the worries away.
hey you! 7:49 PM. (0) comments
hmmm. its amazing how we can infer so much crap from an action and a line in a blog. tsk tsk. see! blogs are dangerous. pesky people go around reading them, and often conjecture rather impossible situations from them. but what do you know, sometimes theyre right. ah ha, like the time when a certain someone here was too free and decided to highlight blog entries for fun. and then what happened.
whee.
i am tired. wont be blogging about the waterpolo match i saw. neither will i blog about shaking around with hands in the pocket boy. and im definitely not going to be blogging about old puppy eyes. thats for me and isaac's secret pleasure.
not tonight darling, ive a headache.
hey you! 6:25 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 7:08 PM. (0) comments
and no, im not going to wish everybody out there (all 2 of you) happy easter because i think that will cheapen the meaning of it.
plus, ive had it with people acting all mature. for fuck's sake, youre bloody eighteen, how much of life have you seen. NOTHING. so take the pseudophilosopical musings off the internet and behave your age. listen to simple plan, go club at Phuture and bum around all day. leave the jazz and opera to the oldies.
oh, and do you know what else irritates me? people who act like they know everything. grr.
THIS ENTRY IS IRONIC.
hey you! 5:42 PM. (0) comments
think about it, id be a natural. the exaggerated gestures, the high voice, the waving of hands. darn it, its me.
hey you! 11:25 PM. (0) comments
haha, funny girl.
hey you! 9:22 PM. (0) comments
5 mins ago, i finished taking the bath that i had started at 1210 when i stepped out of the toilet into the room to change. the only problem was that a) i didnt close the room door and b) the fact that i had guests in the house completely slipped my mind. so yeah, you do the math.
FUUUUCCCKK.
thank god i had a towel drapped down the front to cover the essentials. but im afraid that she might have caught a glimpse of my infamous butt. how now, i dont think jelly is that hot even if i happened to have mention that i had a hot dream about eating jelly in the previous entry..
HOOW NOW BROWN COOOOW?
i mean, if it were a guy or something, it wouldnt be so bad. not that it wouldnt be bad of course, its just that the degree of humiliation wouldnt be so great. plus, ive kinda flashed at guys before. not in that sense you pervs,
i think i shall stay in my room forever and ever untill my mom comes back.
hey you! 12:42 PM. (0) comments
hot.
you my dear are one amazing motherfucker.
hey you! 10:36 PM. (0) comments
that last sentence makes it seem like me and steph are together. ha.
school today was spent continuing the rather blasphemous vein that the week has hit. (what, it is holy week ok) i cant really remember any incidents per se, but i vaguely recall me singing 'walking with jesus' when isaac asked ian to accompany him to the canteen and shirin referring to me as jesus as we were heading out of school. ha.
'her: i think 'me' is more horny than you are.
him: yes. i bet he goes home to the mirror and does it to himself all day.
her: tsk. god is watching!
me: oh god is watching all right and he likes it! and perhaps he does it too!'
'me: sex on saturday! remember ok?
handicappped: yeah, call me.
her and him: what the hell?!''
and thats just some examples of what the week's been like. more at menon's blog. i would link it, but ive kinda forgotten the code. and ok fine, that last example wasnt exactly blasphemous, but it was sex-related and we all know how interesting that is.
speaking of ian and shirin, lets just say another couple's planning to get it on. and really now, if i didnt know that she was on the pill, i would just assume that the fat gained was due to her being plain lazy. i am a rather good friend eh?
headed to the daily scoop after school today where the rum in the rum and rasins (the raisins are soaked in rum) actually hits you in the face when you take the first helping. wow. and the chocolate is solid chocolate. even wow-er. reina lee, you missed out on good food today. well, actually it was just as well you didnt come. i dont think you would have appreciated the sight of us walking down sunset way laughing and talking at the top of my voice, and being a tad bit high because of the rum. oh how weak am i.
hey you! 7:27 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 10:08 PM. (0) comments
wow. no more crystal jade for me. i'll starve now and go mad later.
hey you! 10:03 PM. (0) comments
1. how does one use it?
2. how is she going to carry it through customs.
3. why pink?
4. am i actually going to use it?
hmmm. some rather serious thoughts that have to be carefully debated over and thrashed out.
hey you! 9:55 PM. (0) comments
hmmm. i wonder if i keep this up for the rest of the month, will they notice? or will they get used to it and leave me alone to die my cold and lonely deaf. ai.
but nevermind, i offically declare today 2sd4 day! *prances around with the fairy wand* spent mucho time with them today. ai, my sole comfort in me not being part of that class is that if i were, i'd probably fail my a levels because i'd be bumming around holland too much.
today was rather mood swingy. well, actually no it wasnt. you say someone's mood swingy when a person's mood changes for no rhyme or reason. i, on the other hand, have valid, if somewhat weird, reasons for behaving the way i did.
i would blog more but american idol's coming on and i quite desire to grab my share of mindless tv viewing for the day. might pop by later to air my views on life and such. or i might not. but if you miss me, i'll be at the daily scoop tomorrow from 2ish to 4ish.
onward folks!
hey you! 8:10 PM. (0) comments
there's something in the air which is making everyone depressed and the slightest bit psychotic. give me a week more of this and watch me join their ranks.
hey you! 6:54 PM. (0) comments
but aside from that small bump, everything today was pleasantly mindnumbing. yes, today was pleasant and although hearing, well seeing rather, that word come out of my mouth feels kind of strange for me, considering that at one point in my life (oh to be 16 again) the word pleasant would have be the equivalent of swolling poison, the only alternative to pleasant would be nice. unfortunately, ive not gone that far along the enid blyton path yet.
and i suppose what would stand out from the rest of the haze that makes up today (both literally and figuratively) would be the time spent at the
ahh well. today can only get better i guess, what with striperella and desperate housewives coming along my way. righto and although i know i say this practically every monday, the words speak from the bottom of my broken heart.
hey you! 7:37 PM. (0) comments
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!'
went to calvin klein today at the ungodly hour of 11am to pick up sam's present. urgh. $25 dollars for a pair of hip briefs is a tad bit too expensive for me. so what if they provide good er, structural support. at the end of the day, its just plain old cotton, and not polyesther cotton or even lycra cotton (which are being sold for 35 and 40 dollars respectively)
following a massive amount of calls, messages and head banging fustration, we managed to sneak into his boarding room to eat chocolate mousse. tsk tsk. apparently girls go into the boarding school rooms to er, talk with their friends all the time. tsk tsk. what would drong say if he knew what was happening right under his nose. (speaking of which, there was this one choir senior who once snuck into the school in the middle of the night to have a nice chat with her friend. guess who.)
"bang bang, my baby shot me down."
and thats all the help youre going to get.
hey you! 5:29 PM. (0) comments
hmmm.
the sad thing is, although this past week has been really busy, there's nothing noteworthy that i feel like jotting down. or rather, there's nothing noteworthy which can be written down here, a public space.
er, lets see now, i had choir on tuesday, wednesday, thursday and today, saturday.
on monday, i bummed around home and went to the gym.
friday, i bummed around some more, went for piano before meeting junhui for dinner.
right.
oh well, my life has always been a tad bit sad i say, and now that ive admitted it and have gotten it out of the way, im off to watch american beauty!
quek, out.
hey you! 10:03 PM. (0) comments
now wouldnt you like to know the url at which you can view these horrid thoughts of mine?
hey you! 10:00 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 11:13 PM. (0) comments
spent the first part of the morning reading and fooling around with the computer. anna karenina is rather good, its just that the immense length is quite daunting, leaving me with the feeling that spending 3 hours playing bejeweled would be easier than reading.
went to school for a productive gym session at 130 later. whee. haha the fairy machine's getting more and more fun with each visit! lifting yourself and swinging the feet towards the sky makes one feel like a disney character. its as though with each swing that you take, you evoke peter pan and his er, wonder boys.
and with aching bodies that were put through the circuits for an hour and a half, me and menon (my gymming parnter) hit holland! what can i say, holland is holland. how bad can holland get. met this rather drool worthy ang moh
and today can only get better! there's desperate housewives later, and striperella (queen clit!). plus, gotham's having a party! and a jug's only $15! and cover charge is only $15 too! and it includes one free drink! oh, and did i mention its an EXPAT party? so if i decide to go, and im sorely tempted to, i'll hopefully end the day with white meat (what? its healthy okay). the only problem being that in all probabilty, after the first dance, i'll probably collapse on the dance floor and moan in utter pain. (youve no idea how disgustingly painfully my dancing shoes [come along! we'll be here till the cows come home])
nevermind, there's always friday.
hey you! 6:18 PM. (0) comments
oh man, sitting at the void deck, in the evening sun, eating jelly and hanging around with good, rich company.
now that was hot.
hey you! 9:00 AM. (0) comments
----------------><---
i would like to think that i had an old person's taste. in that way, the fact that stripes, cheesy music and afros have a glittery hold over me can all be blame onto the idea that im a hippie born in the wrong era, but then the whole question comes about, which era are you talking about.
most people classify the whole idea of 'retro' as being something of the past, but the thing is, the past has such a wide span that no one has any idea exactly which time frame is being referred to when the word 'retro' is bandied about. when you say a party has a retro theme, do you expect a person to come in bell-bottoms and psychedelic shirts? and lets say, if a person turns up in suspenders and tie, would that be ok too? each of the above are valid interpretations of the same word, its just that they happen to hold different meanings to each.
in that way, one could say that the idea of the past means different things to individuals. each generation holds fond memories of their youth and it is the time spent when they were young and virile that they first think of whenever they are asked to delve back into time. to say that the baby boomers' idea of 'retro' is more valid than the people who grew up in the swing era (however few are left) is plain wrong, because if one is to be fair and juged both on equal terms, each has their own unique captivities and appeals to the different aspects of the human character.
and then there's that thin line that seperates retro from being camp. both words basically cover the same ground, its just that the word camp brings along with it a hint of irony. so when does one draw the line distinguishing the two? as a matter of fact, who's to decide what's the difference between the two.
well, actually, thinking about it, there are some dissimilarites between the two. kumar is campy. but kumar might not necessarily be retro. but when retro is pushed to the limits, it becomes campy. in that sense, maybe retro is a subset of camp. but what happens when retro is done tastefully. what then? there are cases where retro does not equal to being campy. take for example, my purple polkadotted shirt. now thats a classic example of an instance when being one does not lead to the other. plus being campy does not necessarily mean being decked out in the gear of yesteryear. camp is more often than not a type of behaviour. one does not need to wear tight shirts and tighter jeans to be mistaken for camp. neither are heels and fishnet stockings needed to achieve the effect either. heck, its even quite possible for campiness to be achieved in school uniform.
so i guess that everything boils down to taste, or sometimes, the lack of. interpretations of the same word often leads to different views arising and if i had my way, and i wanted every one to come to a costume party dressed as a drag queen, i would state neither retro nor campy. instead, i would state on the party invite to come dressed as a hooker, saving many the humiliation of turning out dressed as a schoolgirl when i really was aiming for the gear of someone who's being paid in quarters.
---><--------------------------
the end.
hey you! 10:23 PM. (0) comments
Philip Larkin
I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.
The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
-- The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused -- nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.
This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear -- no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.
And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.
Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape,
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.
hey you! 6:51 PM. (0) comments
1. start and finish 'anna karenina', 'half a life' and 'the time travellers wife'.
2. get real good at car tycoon (some game my brother won at the barker carnival).
3. finish math tutorials 28 and 29.
4. finish the human transport tutorial.
5. do the econs essay.
6. download the entire works of the beatles and upload them onto my zen.
7. ditto with the beach boys.
8. catch howl's moving castle, sideways, in good company and spongbob.
9. play the piano.
10. get highlights in my hair (im thinking blonde. like some sufer dude).
11. eat xiaolongbaos at least once.
12. meet up with junhui and derrick to catch up.
13. call junhao and paul up to talk.
14. upload the pictures in the camera.
15. go for some easter concert at rachael's church.
16. spend an entire day at home.
plus ive somehow got to manage to squeeze in what could possibly be 4 days of choir rehearsals into the week too (im making it sound optional arnt i?).
buhzii, bisy, bizy!
hey you! 6:03 PM. (0) comments
farrah's packet of worms are in front of me right now, and sad to say, theyve all been crushed into bits. if anyone's hard up for a chilli flavoured, nutritious, ZERO CALORIES, mealwormy snack, just give me a buzz will ya?
i need books to read. im currently rereading harry potter and the order of the phoenix for the third time and i dont feel like reading the 817 pages of microscopic words that make up anna karenina.
argh. im feeling really fragmented right now. i think the past 3 days have been a too mighty a whirl for me, and i just need a day's break to consolidate my thoughts,
its back to harry potter for me. im up to the part where Mr Weasly goes to St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.
speaking of which, isaac lee kian beng has now joined the army of the disabled with one of his legs being 6.5 cm shorter than the other. tag the poor chap eh? its hard enough having to slog through this world without being labelled a freak.
'nuff said.
good night people.
and hello stranger.
hey you! 9:44 PM. (0) comments
thanks for everything, from the smses to the chilli flavoured worms to the nice funky diary.
legal drinking here i come.
hey you! 6:55 PM. (0) comments
And then again, maybe not. Ill start this on Friday. Dont want to miss out on my presents taking now, do I?
But really, age is just a number. The Big Eighteen really brings along with it nothing more than an expectation of maturity, and along with this newfound maturity, greater liberties, which to the normal teen, is nothing revolutionary. I mean, come on, what else does it bring which we havent done already? Alcohol consumption (check). M18 shows (check, heck, R21s nothing nowadays). Clubbing\Pubbing (uh huh). Fornication is made legal at sixteen and theres really not much chance of me taking up smoking, so where does the thrill of turning eighteen come from?
Of course thats not to say that I think turning 18 should not be celebrated. Hell no, I wouldnt want to give any one the wrong impression that they can return my presents to the bookshop (Ive got a gut feeling that Im going to receive lots of books this year), I still would like to take, take and take. I guess, what Im really trying to say is that at the end of the day, a birthdays really like any other normal day. You dont magically turn smarter at the stroke of midnight, neither do you gain wisdom and become enlightened at the break of dawn. These things come along over the year, so instead, birthdays should be about the celebration of the year past and the year to come, rather than the meaningless rejoicing of the mere fact that someone has just taken another step nearer to death.
But I think Im starting to sound like a jaded teenager, not to mention the fact that ive probably just riled half the readers out there with my diatribe against what is probably the most important day in narcissistic lives.
Which brings me to my next point, I do not like the way my blog has turned into:
issue 1938 of
"AC Gossip"
J2s attend mind blowing leadership seminar (pg 2)
The preparations for Founders Day (pg 4)
Ruggers! Dont We LOVE Them? Hear a lucky girl speak! (pg 9)
And for the next installment of:
Ian and Shirins love life (pg 69)
But then, theres nothing I can do about this can I?
Off to dinner folks!
[edit]I apologize for this rather abrupt ending to what has been a rather interesting post, at least from my point of view. Thank you for reading to the very end, youve helped my fulfill my rather immense craving for notoriety. Also, to those whove tagged, thank you for pretending that youre interested in my life. Once again, Im sorry to those who feel cheated about the ending. Call me at 9_______ (ask for menon) if you want to make a complaint. [/edit]
hey you! 8:03 PM. (0) comments
hey you! 9:13 PM. (0) comments
you are gorgeous. everything about you is gorgeous. your skin which shimmers under certain light, the way you have blue highlights streaked in you, its amazing how sensitive you are to my touch, when i stroke you, you respond. you my darling, are gorgeous. but im sorry to say i use to think that you were one heck of an ugly thing, but now, now, you are divine.
meet my silver honey!
im planning on introducing her to mel's black baby and when the mini gray sweeties hit, i can sell them all and make an astounding profit.
but really, you have no idea just how amazing the feeling that hits you when youre walking down holland v, with your hair freshly and funkily cut (you'll die when you see it tomorrow), your wallet emitting a resplendent aura that you can only conclude comes from the thick wad of notes in it, a mocah frap in your hands and the creative earpieces connecting the zen baby to your ears, blasting away tits on the radio, is.
ai.
thursday is a really, really, really important day
[edit]er, im sorry for this rather short entry, but you see there's a gp package test tomorrow and im still on the 2nd article. longer entry sometime soon.[edit]
but thursday still is a really, really, really, really important day
hey you! 8:33 PM. (0) comments
haha happy birthday you taitai. was just eating xiaolongbaos for dinner and you were the first person i thought of. haha youd be glad to know that im saving up for my mel trip! whee. haha cant wait to
hey you! 8:26 PM. (0) comments
"fuck me once,
shame on you.
fuck me twice,
i love you."
i think im losing my smarts. took back the bio terms today and recieved an abysmal D. and although this isnt the first time ive gotten a D before, i guess one of the reasons why it cuts so deeply this time is that i actually studied quite hard for bio, and in all my years as a student, ive never actually done badly for papers which ive studied for. so yeah, and as sam so nicely said, if it can happen once, it'll happen again and again and again, which means, in all probability, i could end up with BCC for the a levels.
like i said, im losing my smarts.
but on the plus side, i think ive sorted out, er, some of the minor kinks ive had with my friends, so hopefully, i wont tire of them so easily anymore.
and that basically sums out how today went for me.
[add]ohmygod! steph just told me that over down under, theyve over produced the silver ipod mini and are selling it for the bargin price of $388! whee. cant wait. whos going to melbourne anytime soon?[/add]
hey you! 9:39 PM. (0) comments
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