It's time to come back!

So here's a test.

Internal struggle

As the days get colder, the debate begins. Should we play outside or inside. Action figures or making a base under the slide at the playground.
It's a struggle as old as time. The age old question of whether to help mom with the chores as ACDC provides the soundtrack, or.....wrestle your brother.




It's Saturday, and therefore a day of cleaning up intermixed with giggle-filled wrestling. These little men play as though they are training for the little league UFC championships. "Paradise" by Coldplay blares in the background as they continue for hours on end, or at least until the urge to perfect their Jedi skills kicks in instead.
I love Saturdays.




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The lonely housewife

Oh how time flies. Our time has been filled with hurricanes, the flu, work, snowstorms, no school, pumpkins, homework, and more. And through it all I find myself so busy, yet so lonely. Sometimes I just miss my best friend. It's not that my boys are not entertaining, because reliving every light saber battle on a daily basis is both hilarious and a good workout, but having some good old fashioned discussion about the state of the economy, and how the back yard needs to be mowed are more fun out loud than in my head.



I've become pretty well versed in being a single parent, because that's so what it is like when your husband is deployed, and sometimes I even find myself enjoying the entire width of the bed all to myself, with complete control of the remote. But, you know those thoughts and little comments...the banter you mindlessly have while you are folding the laundry or emptying the dishwasher, those are the moments I miss.

So the thought for the day is to be in the moment, even when you are picking up towels off the floor and chatting about nothing more than the fact that it is library day for one of your kids' schools tomorrow. Those are the moments that make you real, connected, and important. Enjoy that you have someone on your life to validate that you are alive and are worthwhile. Because, it's amazing how you cherish even those funny little conversations when you have to live without them for a while.

Enjoy the now for what it is, instead of trying to get to the next thing. Be in the present and truly enjoy it.




I am so proud of u my man in blue. And can't wait to hug you again soon.

Until then, I'll be enjoying the entire bed and discussing the finer points of finding Legos on my pillowcase with.....

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Love letters - #1

My dearest love -

You have been gone now for several days and it already seems like an eternity since I hugged your or felt your arms around me. Today is Thursday September 6, 2012 and it is the first day of school for our brilliant little boys.  You would have beamed with pride if you could have seen their confidence today. They woke up to their alarm with the ipod and fun music, and they were up and running.  Before the blink of an eye they were dressed, brushing their teeth, and loading their lunch boxes into their backpacks. 

I could just see that infectious smile you would have on your face if you had seen Lincoln get on the bus, and after a quick wave and I love you, he was busy high fiveing all of his friends and joking around with them as they took their seats.  Mrs. Smith yesterday laughed when I told her that I thought Lincoln was a little worried about bullies at his new school.  She simply pointed to him and said....."Lincoln is so built, that no one will mess with him".  I had to laugh, because I knew she was right, but also because I knew you would have agreed with pride.  He has taken all of our advice, and all of his experiences and he is just ready to get down to business.  The anticipation of new friends is always exciting to him, and I'm anxiously awaiting a report from today. 

I ached for you this morning as our sweet little baby Grant boarded the bus.  I wanted to be hugged and comforted as the tears filled my eyes.  Before the bus came, I took a few minutes with him and told him how I would be thinking of him all day.  He is my snuggle bear and I think over the summer I have gotten more than 5000 hugs from him.  He and I share a special bond I think because of my struggles with depression since his birth.  I gave him a kiss in his hand and told him to hold onto it.  If he misses me today, he could simply press his hand to his cheek and remember that I am thinking of him and I love him forever.  He smiled at the story, "just like the raccoon!" he said.  He was so much more confident that last year, climbing onto the bus, buckling his seat belt and waving good bye with hope and excitement in his eyes.  I couldn't believe it.  As I waved at him and the bus started to drive away, he looked out at me through the window and put his little hand up against his cheek and smiled.  It was an amazing gift as a mom to know how much I am loved and how amazing he is turning out to be. 

So many times I have missed turning to you and laughing about something, crying about something, or just reaching for your hand.  You are my love, and my life and having you away is never easy.  I've heard so many people say "you just get used to it", as if having your soul mate far from you is no great thing.  But I beg to differ.  I miss your amazing spirit and energy, your smile, and your love every moment of the day. 

I lay in bed last night for hours thinking of everything from what accent color to use for the living room for fall/winter, to what would happen if my alarm didn't go off. But mostly, I thought of you.  Pictures of you diving down into the clear blue water in the Carribean, seeing some of the most amazing creatures and taking in the warmth of the water ran through my head.  I thought of your smile as you speared a fish, and of how happy it makes me that your job can take you such fantastic places to see such fantastic things. 

Though I miss you dearly, my heart is full of smiles as I envision your island adventures and travels.  I can't wait to snuggle up with you with, or just lay in bed at night and listen to you recount all of the wonderful things you have seen and done. 

My day today is one of hope. I made it through the summer, and YOU are the only one who truly knows what that means to me.  I have made it through and I am beginning again.  I am hopeful about my treatment plan and am hesitantly optimistic already about the results today.  I suppose that is the hardest part about not having you here.  I want so bad for you to see how good I am doing.  I want for you to see me. See the me that is finally coming back.

My darling - sharing my life with you is the most hopeful, calming, exciting, and joyful part of my life.  And, even though we are apart for the time being, my thoughts are always of you and when I can kiss you, be held in your arms, and just be with you again.  

I hope your day goes well and I can't wait to hear from you again if the satellites are cooperating :) 


I am yours forever,

Me

Atari's greatest hits.

Such a wonderful weekend. I got to spend some great family time with the kids. We went to the local hardware store to pick up some wood for a super fun project (picture to come soon). And then we all went to lunch. We learned that if grant cold be any cartoon character he would be Pablo from Backyardigans, but only as a super spy.... We learned how icebergs are mostly under water..... And that the best day ever for all of us would involve disneyland.

Then on top of all of that fun, my sweetie took me out on a date that night. The boys were beyond excited to have a babysitter, and absolutely loved Allie, and we got in an amazing dinner and a killer game of pong, and air hockey via the iPad. It was so much fun!

All in all a perfect weekend after a somewhat trying week.

I love my family!!!



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Rocking my cares away...

First sick day. Sometimes I might be considered (or rather I consider myself) somewhat of a sucker for the little tiny faces.


So what's worse is when those cutie little cheeks are coughing and hacking, and the little puppy dog blue eyes look sad, I just want to scoop them up and sit in the poofy comfy rocking chair all day.

So, even though my to do list is extensive, instead I'll be spending my day with a little man coloring, watching disney movies and rocking my "baby" while he is still small. And enjoying every minute if it.

Feel better bearbadini.

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Naked zombie

Does anyone else have this much fun getting ready for church on Sunday?


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The side effects

A surprising before and after from getting shots. Grant went first and got three shots and yes he did cry for a minute but then he was just excited about the spiderman stickers. Lincoln who only needed one shot, as you can see was quite upset. Poor brave babies.











This is one of those pictures Lincoln is going to hate when he gets older. He he he.

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Oh My!!!

Today we spent the day at the Aquarium in Camden, NJ and the boys had an amazing time.  We got to pet Sharks, Stingrays, shrimp, jellyfish, star fish, sea cucumbers, and more.  It was such a blast.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Kenny had been with us.  We MISSSSSSSSS you Daddy!

I am so proud of Grant most especially for being so brave and petting the stingrays.  He was amazing!  Unfortunately helping someone pet stingrays, and taking pictures and/or video is hard to do.  We visited the stingray pool twice because they liked it so much. 

 Of course some of the best stuff was in the Shark Arena where they had the shark tunnel you could go through and watch them swim all around you, and a simulator of a shark cage, which was scary (Grant again was beyond brave) because they had the sharks swimming right up to the cage with their mouths open like they were going to bite you.  

 Our course we saw all the characters from Nemo - including a barracuda "like the one that ate Nemo's mom" (said Lincoln).This is a Ray shark (which was just s huge as it looks).

 And we went to the Diver show, where the divers went into the tank and showed us different stuff about the fish, and sharks and things. 

All in all......They had everything to make your mind swim with delight right along with all of the sharks, piranhas, and hippos.  It was a delightful trip. 

And the winner is.....

More lost posts from our amazing vacation. I think this one never posted because we had horrible signal at the airport. Enjoy!

There are people throughout life to whom I unofficially bestow a nobel prize. These are people who for whatever reason simply were overlooked by the Nobel committee, but who deserve the prize nonetheless ...... Along with a lifetime supply of wonka bars or something.

For example, whoever came up with clorox wipes, the creator of the ice scraper for your car, or the man who created air conditioning just to name a few.


Today's prize goes to
Sony for their nothing less than heroic efforts towards making travel with children a harmonious and enjoyable experience.





Bless you!

Honorable mention to Hannah Barbarra and the entire looney toons family for their poignant contribution as well.

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