100 Days (of life with Stella)
Posted: September 25, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: joy, Musings, StellaB 2 CommentsHi, friends. This is Stella. She’s the cutest (always), the smartest (duh), and the sweetest (except for when it’s time to sleep. Grrrrr.) Tomorrow, she’ll be three months old. Can you believe it?
Michael and I are smitten with this little munchkin, and can you blame us? Look at that mug. Basically, she is telling us that her adorableness makes up for the fact that she hates tummy time with all the vengeance her tiny self can muster and that she is about to start screaming any second. Just wait: that’s how it goes whenever you flip her onto her stomach.
Life has been busy for us (isn’t it always?) since arriving back in Asia seven weeks ago. See our exhausted faces below, crammed on the subway at the peak of Friday night rush hour to celebrate our anniversary at the beginning of September. We were more than a bit tired that day and I’m afraid it shows. Our friends Craig and Sarah babysat for us so we could make it to the other side of town for dinner, just the two of us. It was our first solo outing since the babester and it was great to be together on our own (after we got off that blasted, crowded subway, that is.)
Five years! I’m thankful for this guy, and also grateful for the years we had with just one another before hopping on board the parent train. God’s plans are truly perfect.
Stella really is a joy to be around. Her laughs, coos, and giggles are the best things in the world, and I never knew how much I could enjoy hanging out for hours with someone who can’t talk.
We continue to be amazed at just how quickly she is growing and changing. She was seven pounds when she was born, and she weighed in this past weekend at 13 pounds. Think about it: less than three months of life, and she’s nearly doubled her size! It’s the most normal thing in the world, but I am learning that normal doesn’t make it any less extraordinary. (Caterpillars turning into butterflies is normal, too, but wow! This world overflows with creativity and beauty.)
Stella and I have been making new friends. This is XunXun, a cute little neighbor boy who we’ve gotten to know since returning here in August. I’m grateful for his mom, who is joyful and open, and has welcomed me into her life with open arms. She’s introducing me around to other local moms, too, and gives advice without being bossy–a balance that’s hard to come by in a culture where so many people express their love and care of Stella by telling me that I’m doing it wrong. (Your baby is too hot/cold; she’s not wearing enough clothes/you shouldn’t carry her like that she is burning up; your baby is too young to leave the house; the stroller is unsafe; why does your family have a dog? that’s unhygienic!) Long before I had a baby, I knew this aspect of the culture would be a struggle. Most days I can laugh it off, but sometimes new mom neurosis gets the better of me and I wonder if Stella’s life really would be 100% better if I just made sure she always had on socks.
So, re: the title of this lil’ blog post. 100 Days: it’s a thing, and we’re celebrating. Stella won’t technically be 100 days until sometime next week, but Michael will be out of town for the week and I’m not gonna do it on my own. Locally, babies here are allowed out and about after 100 days, and most families make a big deal of this milestone. We will celebrate with a few friends. I’ve never been to a 100 Day celebration so this will be a learning experience for us (and I’m sure I’ll make at least a few cultural faux pas).
Other, random thoughts? I really, really love Stella’s baby leg warmers, and I think headbands might be a teensy bit tacky but I also love them and don’t care. Albus is adjusting well overall, but he’s a poor, neglected dog these days–I made it halfway home yesterday before I realized I left him tied to a tree outside the vegetable market. Confession: I didn’t even remember on my own, some passersby yelled at me from their scooter that I forgot my dog. Whoops! And Stella really is a sweetheart, but I will be a happy camper when she settles into a sleep routine. It’s three steps forward, two steps back: she slept through the night for more than a week straight and then reverted to waking up twice a night a few days ago. It’s hard not to feel like I’m doing something wrong which is keeping her (and us!) from sleeping well, but I also know that babies just change quickly and this stage, too, will pass.
That’s it for now. Life is good, and we are thankful. Oh! and hoping that neither Stella nor I catch the stomach bug Michael is battling. It’s a semi-regular part of life here, but would love it if you could say a prayer that it doesn’t latch onto either of us. And also that Michael gets better quickly!
Stella’s Birth Day
Posted: August 13, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: welcome baby 2 CommentsWe met her on a Wednesday evening, after 23 and a half hours in the hospital and months (years!) of anticipation. It was the most amazing day of our lives and, seven weeks later, I sometimes still have to pinch myself to believe we don’t have to give her back.
Stella was born two days past her due date and, so I can remember, here’s how it happened. (Fair warning: this is long!)
I didn’t do the whole “birth plan” thing but I did have an idea of how I hoped it would happen: go into labor (a couple of weeks early would be ideal as that worked best with our schedule), spend a large part of early labor at home, go to the hospital and voila! meet baby. Although I wasn’t totally set on it, I had hoped to deliver without drugs and I wanted to avoid induction and definitely do anything possible to stay away from a C-section. “The best laid plans” and all…
The day after Stella’s due date we went in for my 40 week checkup. Michael came with me as I knew they were going to do an ultrasound and we would also be making a plan for what to do if yet another week passed and Stella still hadn’t arrived. You of course can’t truly tell until things get started, but my body was had shown no signs of imminent labor and I knew my doctor wouldn’t let me go more than one week overdue. I really wanted her to come on her own so, even though Dr. Allen was willing, I wasn’t going to induce until I had to at the one week over mark.
We started our late afternoon appointment with an ultrasound. Things looked a little off–her size had not gone up as anticipated, and my amniotic fluid was lower than expected. Also Stella’s heartbeat had dropped to around 110 (120-160 is normal), which was not a scary level but again lower than usual. I didn’t think too much of this, though, until we got in to speak with Dr. Allen. She cut straight to the chase: she wanted to send us to the hospital for a medical induction. This was not what I had imagined her saying at this point but Dr. Allen was clear that, although everything was fine at the moment, she did not want to wait another week. She felt my body was no longer doing a great job at supporting the baby and, since I had already passed my due date, the best thing was to get Stella out! This wasn’t how I had pictured the day going but when there was any question of your baby’s health, all plans go out the window. (Including dinner: Michael had to call and cancel with the two couples who were on their way to our house for a pizza dinner that night!)
We went home, showered and ate, and got to the hospital just before 9 that evening, where they started me on cervidil, a drug to help prepare your body for labor. We got a couple of hours of sleep that night and the next morning around 8.30 my doctor came in and broke my water. Shortly after, they started a pitocin drip (the drug that actually induces labor).
Once we found out that my labor would be induced I basically gave up any thoughts of going natural as I knew that induced labor contractions are even stronger than natural ones, but I still tried to hang in there until my body reached a certain point at which the chance of a C-section would decrease. While pregnant I did lots of reading–probably too much!–and I knew that interventions (from induction to epidurals) in the process of natural labor increase your odds for a C-section. The baby’s safety and health is the most important, but that was an outcome I really wanted to avoid if possible. However, after about 5 hours of labor, things weren’t moving along, I was in a lot of pain, and my body was shaking violently in between contractions and not allowing me a chance to recover, so we decided it was time for an epidural. The anesthesiologist arrived an hour later and ohmygoodness, that epidural was amazing. In 10 minutes I went from labor that felt pointless since it wasn’t getting us anywhere to total relaxation and watching Wimbledon!
I truly believe this was the right call for us as my body finally started to do its thing. I think I was too tense and stressed about the whole process and, for me, the epidural allowed my body to relax and work. At this point I also had my mom come and visit, which helped calm me down and reassure me. Michael was amazing but my mom had done this (four times!) so her presence and experience was a huge blessing. After a few hours things stalled again but our amazing (!!!) nurse moved my legs around and put my body in a position which was known to help move things along. My body started shaking uncontrollably again during and between contractions, my doctor was worrying about my progress, and a hot spot (where the epidural wasn’t effective) had developed. They re-upped my epidural and, just as they finished, noticed on the monitor that “something” was happening. In a matter of 30 minutes, things progressed very rapidly and it was time to deliver!
Thirty minutes later, little Miss Stella B made her grand entrance. It was the most miraculous thing I have ever been a part of. There are no words for the feeling of meeting your child, this person you’ve carried and loved and prayed for and gone through so much to get here.
I am also so thankful for the hospital where we delivered. It is what is called a “baby-friendly” hospital and after Stella’s birth they immediately placed her on my chest and I had an hour of uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact with her. This has been shown to have all sorts of positive effects for the baby, for instance regulating their body temperature, and it was one of the sweetest hours of my life.
We are so unbelievably thankful for this gift we have been given. She is the sweetest blessing and we experience God’s goodness in her every smile, coo, cough, and even cry.
Stella Blythe
Posted: June 28, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: welcome baby 4 CommentsBorn Wednesday night, June 26th, at 8:28 p.m., weighing 7 pounds even.
We are in love.

Celebrations
Posted: June 21, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: welcome baby Leave a commentWe are just days away from the due date on baby watch, and sadly (for me) there is nada to report. Soooo since my main occupation this week is staring at my tummy and waiting for something to happen, and that has led to exactly nothing, I thought I would post some pictures of the various celebrations we’ve had for little Stella since getting back to the States.
First was the Sylacauga shower. It was such a fun time to gather and give thanks for this little girl. One of my mom’s friends pointed out how special the time of prayer was as many of the women in the room that day have walked with the Lord for decades and decades and I certainly agree.
With the hostesses–such a special group of ladies. Most of them have been in my life for 20+ years!
My mom, my great-aunt Emily, and my Aunt Donna. This side of the family has seen only girls for four generations now!
Mary Emily is in Ethiopia but she left behind a present before she went. Can you tell that at that time we were all expecting a little boy and not a girl!
My mom made a touch-and-feel book for Stella. I’ll have to post pictures later because this book is truly a work of art!
The next week I headed to Tuscaloosa for a gathering with my close group of high school friends (minus one who lives in Atlanta and couldn’t make it). It was definitely a celebration of little Stella, but also an amazing excuse to get together and catch up. Unfortunately I can’t get my pictures to go any bigger but we had SO much fun talking and laughing. I am truly thankful to have this group of friends in my life!
We think we’re still 16–but taking this picture is a lot harder at 30 (and pregnant!) than 16.
I thought this was the cutest thing! My friend Andi put together this diaper holder (no idea what to actually call it) and clipped a verse to each diaper. She said that way I can have a mini-moment of meditation each time I have to change yet another dirty diaper. Then she also had all of my friends write notes of encouragement (or just random silliness) on the diapers to make me laugh or just remind me of them as I’m changing. So thoughtful!
Finally, here are pictures from the most recent shower in Chattanooga.
With (most of) the hostesses. Let me tell you, Pinterest has nothing on these women!
We were so amazed that Grandmommy, Michael’s maternal grandmother, made it up from Huntsville for the shower!
With my mother-in-law Beverly and sister-in-law Suzanne.
Michael didn’t stay for all of the shower but he put in an appearance to nab some Auburn swag.
We have been truly grateful for and overwhelmed by the love and generosity we have received from so many in this special season of our life. Stella is a well-loved little girl and we are so incredibly grateful for the many who have helped us to prepare for her arrival!
A rose by any other name
Posted: June 18, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: welcome baby 3 CommentsStella Blythe Gregory: she’s not here quite yet, but we can’t wait to see who she grows into.
Shakespeare wrote that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I come down with L.M. Montgomery, who opined the Bard had it wrong: a rose called cabbage wouldn’t, couldn’t, be as sweet.
To me, words matter. The sound, the shape, the emotions evoked by a string of them put together just exactly so. And names? It’s the ultimate in finding the perfect word for the occasion: a baby’s name has to fit them their whole life, wear well, ought to have some meaning or reason behind it. Michael and I are not exactly simpatico when it comes to naming tastes, but the process of settling on what this little person will be called for the rest of their days was one of the most exciting parts of pregnancy for us. Perhaps also a little stressful…but mostly fun.
Some history on the name game for our Stella: she gets her first name from Michael’s paternal grandmother, the original Stella. We think the name is beautiful (it comes from a Latin word meaning “star”), and are thrilled to honor Michael’s MawMaw, who is more fun than anyone in their upper-80s has a right to be. If little Stella gets one-quarter of her great-grandmother’s spirit and joy of life, she will be one happy little girl.
This picture was taken this summer when we were in Alabama visiting MawMaw. In Michael’s case, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!
Stella’s middle name, Blythe, has been one of my very favorite name for years. The dictionary defines blithe as “joyous, merry, or gay in disposition; glad; cheerful.” We wish all those things for our little girl, and it’s certain she has already brought joy and gladness into our lives by her existence.
My sister, Mary Emily, has already dubbed little Stella “Stella B” and Michael has taken to it–we’re not planning on the double name thing but I think Baby Stella will hear Stella B maybe half the time.
I can’t wait to see who this little bit grows into!
(almost) 38 weeks
Posted: June 9, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Musings, the expat life, welcome baby 3 CommentsFor some reason, I feel more than a little silly writing a pregnancy update on the blog…but dang all, I want to remember details so here goes. We start with a nearly-38-week bump. Voila!
I’ve been in America for literally months now, since early April. We have many American friends who have delivered their babies in Asia, but for us there was not much debate: we always knew we would come back to the States for at least our first child. There are many reasons for this, one of the main being that it was not medically advisable to deliver in the city where we live. This meant our options were flying (at least a month ahead of the due date) to a large city on the east coast or to Thailand, both places where we have no friends or family. After the birth we would again have to wait at least several weeks (depending on if we were in or out of the country) for processing of birth certificates, passports, visas, and etc. Not only could this quickly get expensive as we factored in housing, but it would also be emotionally very difficult to be isolated during this unique time in our life.
We spoke with many, many families who have been through similar decisions and the consensus was that it is highly advisable to have the first child in the mother’s home country. The last thing you want is a stressful labor and delivery where you are struggling to communicate and understand what the doctors and nurses are doing to you–especially when you don’t truly understand what to expect yourself!
Another, not minor, consideration was being around family in this season. Of course, they will want to be with us but (let’s be honest, more importantly) with their grandchild. I personally want my mom to be able to help me out and show me how to do the myriad daily tasks that come with a baby! This summer, we are living in Chattanooga at Michael’s parents’ home. They will be at their nearby lake house for most of the summer, and have graciously allowed us to make their home, ours. This is great for many reasons, the biggest being that Michael and I will have the opportunity to get used to being a family of three. My family will be able to freely come and go for visits (like they would if we lived in the States), and we will also spend lots of time with the Gregory clan. Chattanooga is also where we lived for two years post-marriage, pre-Asian return, so we still have friends in the area, which makes life lots more fun.
When exactly we will be meeting this little one is currently the subject of all my waking thoughts. My regular doctor was out of town this week and the guy I saw didn’t do more than check the heartbeat, so I’ve no idea where things currently stand. At my 36 week appointment, she had started dropping and was already measuring a week and a half ahead of schedule–but these things are so subjective at the end that there is really no telling when to expect her. Michael is proud as can be because apparently this little girl is looking to be quite tall. He’s already talking of volleyball or tennis, though I keep reminding him that the poor thing has my genes as well as his so athletics might not be a big part of her life.
Since our very early ultrasounds, our doctors have talked about what an active baby we have, and that doesn’t seem to have abated. I don’t have anything to compare it to, but this little girl packs quite a punch. We thought that would slow down as the due date neared, but so far she is still kicking and squirming and pumping away in there. Sometimes her little jabs are quite painful! I’ve also reached the phase of pregnancy where I grunt when I stand up (just as attractive as it sounds) and where getting out of bed in the middle of the night (which happens often) requires a lot of effort. While I am so incredibly thankful to BE pregnant, honestly, the actual state of pregnancy is not on the list of my favorite things. We are hoping very hard she comes a little early. I’m ready to meet her (it seems ages since the teary-eyed morning I saw two lines)!–and it would also help a lot as we have a limited time frame to get her passport and visa processed before our already-purchased flights back to Asia. Unfortunately there’s not a lot we can do about it as we really don’t want to induce unless it becomes medically necessary.
Let the waiting continue!
Graduation
Posted: May 16, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Auburn, celebrate! 1 CommentI’m one happy girl because, after just about six weeks apart, Michael is back! He arrived laaaate Monday night and is currently fighting off jet lag and readjusting to America. I’m just happy we’re on the same side of the world again.
Before he got back, though, my baby sister celebrated a momentous occasion: college graduation! Helen is the last of the Farnsworth girls to graduate from Auburn, and I know my parents breathed a huge sigh of relief to be finished with tuition after 12 continuous years. Although truth be told, I think they were more than a little sad to realize their baby is really and truly grown up and off to the real world; she started a real job in Nashville on Monday.
It was a cold and nasty day (high of 53 degrees in an Alabama May!), but we had fun celebrating little Hel-Hel. So proud of her!






On Mother’s Day
Posted: May 13, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Musings, thankfulness 2 CommentsNot even halfway through the morning, and I was already teary-eyed, several times over: at a quick e-mail from Michael, flowers from my parents, a certain hymn, and yes, even a video of a commercial I saw posted on Facebook. It’s Mother’s Day, and my heart is overflowing with gratitude. I’m thankful, of course, for my own wonderful mother, and the love and practical wisdom and service she’s given me all these nearly 30 years of my life. But I’m also beyond thankful for the privilege of, Lord-willing, getting to be a mother myself, oh so very soon.
Today, I can feel the little one kicking, and my heart (and perhaps my eyes!) overflow. This day can, of course, be hard for so many. Last year, those feelings of sadness came laden with guilt: shouldn’t I just be grateful for my own mom? Why must my emotions zero in on what I didn’t have? Why was it so hard to even look friends with children in the eye?
This year, I feel hope and joy and anticipation, but sadness, too. Sorrow, for my friends who are waiting with empty arms, and no red-circled calendar dates on the horizon. Grief, for the silent pain this day can bring to many, so often unacknowledged. Sadness, because while my obvious pregnancy makes this in some ways my first Mother’s Day, there are little ones I’ve never known who will never have a future and will never call me mom.
It’s a complex mixture of joy and longing that swirl in my heart this evening. Computer in my lap, my feet are propped on the coffee table before me, thanks to burgeoning varicose veins brought on by this pregnancy. While I hate those nasty veins and the awful, constricting tights I now wear because of them, I don’t know if I’ve ever been more thankful for anything. This physical marker, ugly as it may be, means hope. It speaks of life, surging and strong.
And so it is with our sorrows. Ugly and unmanageable, yet he can use them to point us to hope: hope outside of us and beyond the feelings ruling our hearts. Hope that, though weeping may endure for the night, joy comes in the morning. That no matter what that joy looks like (the kind we wish for or the kind we’ve never even imagined), it really is his best for us.
I’m glad today. Yes, my little girl’s kicks make that easier, unspeakably simpler, than last year. But I’m most glad because, no matter which way my stubborn heart goes, he holds on. His love is better than any mother’s.
A-Day
Posted: May 4, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Auburn, joy 1 CommentMy baby sister is graduating from college today: what on earth happened to all the years?!?! It doesn’t seem possible that it has been eight years (!!!) since I graduated from Auburn, but there they are, the dates staring at me bold as brass from my calendar.
We’ll head down to Auburn for Helen’s celebration in just a few hours, but this actually won’t be my first trip this spring. Two weeks ago, I drove down to meet some friends and see Helen for the A-Day game and the last rolling of the Toomer’s Oaks before they had to cut them down (thanks a lot, Harvey).

It was so fun to reunite with a few friends from college–to catch up on their lives, to meet my friend’s precious son, and just to be back in the loveliest village on the Plains. Here are a few photos from my day.
The football game: 83,000-strong! The crowd atmosphere was much more like attending a fall football game than a spring training scrimmage, and the day was perfect with blue skies and cool breezes.
My friend Michelle and I at the game. Our friend Aimee, who lives in Auburn, had to go home to put her little one down for a nap but her husband came to the game and (incidentally) acted as our photographer.

Post-game, we and the other 80,000 fans slowly, slowly, slowly crawled our way to Toomer’s Corner for the after party.

I didn’t bring any toilet paper, but I did run into another friend’s grandparents, who gave me a roll. At least our little girl got to roll Toomer’s once, right?


It was complete madness at Toomer’s, y’all. So crowded that you could hardly take a step once you got closer to the trees… we just shuffled along as the crowd pushed. Aimee and Wyatt tried to come with us, but they were loaded down with a stroller and decided to turn around… it was not exactly conducive to maneuvering around with a little one.

After we left the chaos at Toomer’s, Michelle and I met back up with Helen and we all headed over to Aimee’s house for an awesome dinner.
(Isn’t Aims the cutest? Although you can hardly tell, she’s also expecting a little girl, due at the tail end of the summer. And their two-year-old little boy is just the sweetest thing.)
I’m thankful for old friends and so glad I was able to head back to Auburn for fun hangout time and–of course–to get in one more roll. Rest in peace, Toomer’s.
Springtime catch-up
Posted: April 25, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: celebrate!, East Asia 1 CommentHey y’all. I’ve disappeared from the blog, apparently, but the life update is this: I’m in America, Michael is in Asia, and all is well. Baby girl is still a girl, best we can tell, and I’m hanging out with my parents in Alabama until Michael gets back in May. We’ve been sad to be apart (a measly total of not quite six weeks: how on earth do military families do it???) but I’m thankful for time with my family in the meantime.
I’m way behind on things that have happened in our life, but here are some photos from Asia just before I left.
The Saturday before Easter, we went with some friends to a (sort of) petting zoo about an hour from where we live. We had fun hanging out and saw some cool stuff, but–not gonna lie–parts were really sad as some of the animals seemed to live in less than ideal situations. The low-light was a tie between the performance featuring a dancing bear and monkey performing to blaring pop tunes, and the lion cages (more on that in a minute).
Still, we enjoyed one another’s company and–look on the bright side–when else can you feed a giraffe or pet a baby leopard?
Meredith, Sam and Kelsey in our safari golf cart.

The first stop of our tour was this yard (fenced in so we didn’t get to pet anything here) with kangaroos. The worker walked out with this bag and out popped baby Roo!

Then we went to the giraffe area and got to feed and pet the giraffes.

I freaked out a little.


Post-giraffe and after we walked out on the dancing bear performance (we just couldn’t take it anymore!) we found the tiger enclosure. In the zoo’s defense, apparently the big cat area is under construction and will be open in May, but y’all, it was so so sad to see this whole row of tigers locked up in little cages. Also, scary. These cats were not happy campers and there was some roaring going on.

Also some fighting: these guys were getting after it.


The coolest part by far was when we walked out of the tiger cages to find this guy taking a baby leopard out of a cardboard box. A crowd quickly formed, but we were able to pet her and play for a bit. I did feel comforted because this worker (same guy with baby kangaroo) really did seem to care about the animals and enjoy playing with them.


The next day was Easter, which was low-key and laid-back this year. Michael and I hung out at home all morning before meeting with friends later in the afternoon. I’ve hardly any pictures, but here are a few from our photo shoot. (I feel like I look huge in these pictures–which is true, but I honestly think it had something to do with the flow of the dress. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself!)

































