June 30, 2017

Steve is going back to get his gallbladder removed.  He's in good spirits.  He's a trooper.

Cancer-versary

One year ago today, Steve was diagnosed with cancer.

Happy Anniversary to us!

20 years!

We've had a lovely life and I'm so blessed to be married to Steve. He is the best man for me. I'm feeling very blessed to still have him by my side....well....figuratively....he's actually in Spain today.  However, before he left, he acquired the name of my friend who does flowers ( from my phone ), and coordinated a lovely surprise.

 This is a picture of us that I took in December.

This is in addition to the spectacular ring he gave me early.

Winter Update

Steve went to 6 hours/day the 2nd week of December, and full time the first week of January.  He quit getting fluids daily at the end of January (de-accessed Jan 26th).  He took me on an epic weekend trip to Seattle for my 40th birthday.  We flew first class and had a wonderful time!  Before that, we had an epic day as a family celebrating (I think my kids will always remember my 40th birthday).  We went sledding at Soldier Hollow, out to lunch, to the Ice Castles in Midway, and to tepanyaki for dinner!  It was fabulous.  Jen joined us for the day.

March 4th we flushed his port, and I noticed that week that his energy was really taking a dive.  I reached out to the doctor and he's been receiving (from me) weekly B12 shots since March 8th.  We'll need to flush his port again on Easter before he leaves for an EPIC trip with Kenneth to Spain, France, England, Belgium and the Netherlands.  This is Kenneth's senior trip and they will have a great time!  The Monday after they return, Steve has 2 CT scans, and will meet with the radiation oncologist that Friday (May 12th).  He is nervous for those appts.

During all of this we've had other happenings - Patrick broke his foot on Jan 31st.  He was in a boot until March 30th, and when he tried to walk...he couldn't.  He's getting stronger every day, but can't run (or play soccer) yet.  He also got glasses in February - pretty academic. :)

Caitlin competed in her first horse competition in 4 events and got 1st 2nd 3rd and 4th.  She's at her first "fancy" competition today.

Kenneth got cut from the Westlake HS Soccer team.  That was quite a shock and very devastating.  3 days later he found out he got accepted to BYU, which made him very happy.  At the end of this post, I will append Kenneth's response to getting cut (he wrote it a couple weeks after the initial shock).  He also went to sweethearts with his sweetheart, Jenecee.

Daniel is growing so much.  He's almost as tall as I am and he's definitely a bass.  His voice has dropped SO low.  Lower than Kenneth's, although he still sings tenor in the ward choir with Kenneth.  He'll switch to bass after Kenneth leaves on his mission.  He performed with the orchestra at a competition and played a duet during one of the songs.  He loves to play the violin and is looking forward to playing soccer this spring.  (Apparently I need to take more pictures of Daniel...)

Kenneth's mission papers are almost in.  His last interview is on Tuesday with the Stake Pres.  He cut his hair - that was a sacrifice for him.  Angela took his senior pictures 2 days before he cut his hair.

A fun photo of Steve and Kenneth.  Steve is wearing Kenneth's sweatshirt.  They were on their way to a friend's mission call opening and they texted this to me.  

Caitlin at her first fun horse show

Caitlin's hair for her first fancy horse show.

A few of Kenneth's Senior photos

Sweethearts

Mission hair cut

Birthday fun in Seattle

Broken foot :(

Glasses

This was a gift from my exercise partner and friend.  She took the time to write 40 nice things about me.  It really touched my heart.  

This is a gift from my parents and siblings.  I saw it at an art show last November and totally broke down when I saw it. Elise rallied the troops and they spent way too much money on me, but it touches my heart every time I look at it. It's a photograph.  It depicts the image of Christ carrying you when your burdens get too heavy.  I know Christ has carried me over the past year, and this picture touches my soul.  

Sledding fun at Soldier Hollow

Ice Castles

Steve and some of his beloved "young" men from our Texas Ward at Santiago's wedding in January.

Remember Soccer

Kenneth Layton

This one goes out to all the seniors at Westlake High School that are in the same situation that I found myself that day after tryouts. All of the kids who, like me, were told that despite all the sacrifice, blood, sweat, tears, fight, torn muscles, concussions, assists, fouls, cards, and goals that they had given, there was not a spot on the team this year for them.

That was hard.

In my case, that was the climax, the pinnacle, of three especially difficult years that I had spent giving my all for this program that had cast me aside. That was countless sprints run, countless pounds lifted, countless soccer balls touched in my pursuit of a spot on this team, entirely wasted. That was hours and hours of hard work endured with the single goal of hearing the coach welcome me to the Varsity team for the first time.

Needless to say, I didn’t get that.

I didn’t achieve the goal that I had worked so hard for. I watched as my teammates and friends earned spots on their respective Varsity teams. I watched Ben Unwin, my teammate, score his first Varsity goal. I watched everyone, it seemed, have an experience that I will never get to have.

It hurts. It seems like everything I worked for, everything I did, all of those times I convinced myself that I could run just one more sprint, one more mile, and lift one more set, were for nothing.

I don’t know your specific circumstances. There are eleven of you out there that are in the same boat as I am, which means that there are eleven different stories that could be told. Eleven of you have had your own moments of decision, when you decided that you knew what you were fighting for and that you were going to do whatever it took. To fall short, for me and for you, is incredibly disappointing.

The only advice that I have for you is this:

Remember soccer.

Remember the goals you scored, the tackles you made, the friendships you had, regardless of what you are doing now or in the future. Remember the integrity you had, those days you felt you couldn’t give any more but you did anyway, because of soccer. Remember the championships, the tryouts, the coaches, the parents, the people that made you the kind of player you are. Remember the cold, the heat, the rain, the snow. Remember the lawn chairs and angry parents and stupid refs and loud coaches. Remember soccer.

Soccer is what ties us all together. Without soccer, none of us would be players. Without soccer, we wouldn’t know the pain of loss or the sweetness of victory, and we wouldn’t know just how it feels to beat a rival. Without soccer, we may all be friends, acquaintances, or enemies, but none of us would be teammates.

I will choose to remember soccer. I will choose to remember not just the teams I had or the goals I scored, but what it meant to me to play the game. I once wrote, “Within the painted lines of a soccer field, for 90 minutes, poverty doesn’t exist. Crippling economic crises don’t matter. What matters is you and the ball.” I believe that. Soccer is more than just a game that I play.

Soccer, to me, is the opponent who chops you down to get to the ball, and then helps you up. Soccer is the numb hands and arms of a spring game. Soccer is the coaches giving you a chance to prove yourself. Soccer is the perfect free kick that is nestled in the upper corner. Soccer is the players who lift their entire teams and make them work harder than ever before. Soccer is the joy in a teammate’s face who scored the game-winner. Soccer is the professional players you strive so much to play like, the games you watch on TV or in the stadium that are boring to everyone but you. Soccer is going crazy in the living room when your team wins the championship. Soccer is the belief you have the day before a big match. Soccer is the beautiful game.

That’s soccer. Remember it, please. In these times,  when it seems like you gave so much and failed, remember what was given to you just because you got out there and you played.

Remember soccer.

This was inspired by a blog posted on an MLS website.

October 25, 2016

Back to work!

October 4, 2016

Steve was supposed to have a 4cm x 3cm x 2cm abcess drained by interventional radiology this morning.  However, after they got him sedated they did a CT scan and said the abcess was substantially smaller than it was on imaging 2 weeks ago, and they felt like it was too small to drain.  While we're grateful Steve didn't have to have this risky procedure, we're perplexed.  Steve's pain isn't dramatically decreased, and we were both looking forward to him being able to move forward without all the pain when he moves around and breathes.  We're not sure what to think, but they're having him wait 3-4 weeks for another CT scan.  I guess we'll wait and see.

Steve's got a colonoscopy scheduled for next Wednesday.

September 29, 2016

REMISSION!  Steve is in remission!  Happy day.  His PET scan showed  NO cancer.  Yay!!