Christmas in Kentucky

We had a near perfect trip to see Jake's family and our dear friends, the Pinkertons, in Madisonville, Kentucky. It was the first leg of our Christmas travel. 


Sleepy boys. Neither travel without their stuffed buddies. 

Mr. Techy Toy doing a little work on the road with his new mac-daddy Blackberry. 

The Pinkertons are some of our dearest friends in the world. Our children are all very close in age and thankfully play well together. The second photo is the only one of all 5 kiddies, and I think all 5 were losing it. (Luke, Dosen, Emily, Erin, and Eli). 

Christmas with the fam...

Luke, Zane, and Wyatt doing the cousins' dance party. Patient little guys had to endure dinner for 15 people, clean-up, and family picture time before they could open ANY gifts. 

Luke's progression: (1) gifts, yahoo!.. (2)waiting for his turn to come back around the big circle... 

And finally, (3) the pinnacle of boredom...

This was Dosen's first trip to Madisonville, and many of these family members had had yet to meet him. Everyone was waiting for him to walk into the house. I think he would have preferred to retreat, but being a Stum, he turned on the woo instead. 

Deeda showered him with some sweet new friends, and he loved them! 

It was a terrific (and exhausting) trip. We returned to Cleveland today with full hearts realizing how blessed we are to have such a great family and great friends. 

Santa is my boyfriend!

Yahoo! I received an early Christmas gift from Santa--the real and really cute one. I'm not sure if my last post and its comments had anything to do with the special delivery, but I'm now sporting...


Cute, huh? It comes in pink, too, but my Santa knew better. Love him.

I've already confessed my nerditude, so it won't be a surprise that I read the entire camera manual word for word. Even so, I'm not great at the whole picture taking thing, but I can't resist to upload a few. Some were salvaged from ole' 8 mega-pixel Bessy who is no longer with us.




Snack, please?

Maybe you're right, mom...

Luke with long hair....

Now it is gone!

Yea for my thoughtful husband! Can't wait to capture all the fun of Christmas!

Boring posts for awhile...boo!

I'm so bummed that our camera, our way of sharing our beautiful and hilarious children with the world (okay, maybe just our 5 readers), is dead. Yes, dead. You might be thinking it was sweet Dosen who wants to play with ANY form of technology or really ANYthing, but it wasn't him. Luke isn't to blame either, and it wasn't me. Oh, and it wasn't our cat, Oscar, who has no thumbs. So.... who does that leave.... ???

Of course both boys have done a zillion precious, post-worthy things in the last several days, but you'll never know about it. It's not a big deal really, though. Dosen's first Christmas with us, Luke's amazing new short-do, new words, seeing friends and family.... all left to be captured on a $5.99 disposable camera at best.

ARRRGGGHHHH!

To his credit, the camera killer did try for several days to fix it. Thank you, whoever you are.

A visit with Santa

Negotiating.

We've reached an agreement.

Thanksgiving 2008

I loved Thanksgiving 2008! For lots of reasons it was really special, but topping the list was having Dosen here to celebrate with. We are so thankFULL for him!


Serious about this meal!


It was also extra special to share the day with friends and family. Jake's mom, Donna, came from Kentucky for a few days, but our boys know her as Deeda (Abulita in its originally intended form).



Jake has the best job ever in working with college students, so it was a great treat to have several of the students who did not go home for Thanksgiving join us.

(L-R) Jake, Nicole, Connor, Andrea, Carl, Bayo, & Karis

These guys were so much fun to have as a part of our family, and our boys loved all the attention. Dosen was a little taken with Bayo, our Nigerian friend!

It was with much fear that we dove into preparing a meal for 10+, but Jake was definitely master of the kitchen. Everything was so delicious. Way to go, babe!

And finally, a fun little clip of Dosen doing post-meal entertainment. Luke later led a fabulous dance party, but unfortunately the camera wasn't rolling then.

Getting Away

The opportunity doesn't come often, so Jake and I jumped at the chance to spend a weekend together sans kids. First Baptist Church asked the pastoral staff to commit to attending a marriage retreat of our choice. I'm still cautious of leaving Dosen for very long, so we chose a conference close to home--the Chattanooga location of the Weekend to Remember seminar. This was very generous of FBC, and staying so close to home gave us wonderful freedom in the budget to stay at a fabulous, quiet B&B and eat like kings. Uninterrupted conversation and a full night's sleep--now that's a retreat. 

I will unashamedly confess that we are card-carrying nerds, and one of our goals for the last few years has been to create a family mission statement. Jake and I want our children to know what it means to be a Stum and the standards to which we hold each other accountable. Would you even guess that the marriage retreat ended with just this opportunity? We spent a few hours at a coffee shop hammering out what our statement would include, and it turned out GREAT! No, I'm not going to post it here, but I'll bet you'll see it on display in our home before long. 

A huge thank you to Karis, nanny extraordinaire, for keeping the boys.

The BIG Red Button

Shhhh. We've got to keep this on the DL, but we slightly broke a rule at the polls today. Luke was super excited about Election Day, so the whole fam loaded up this evening to cast our votes. The election official was supportive of Luke observing, but he wasn't to push any buttons. Not even one? Awww man (as Dosen says). So Jake made his thoughtful selections. Hmmm. What to do with that last button--the big red official one? 

Quick look left. Quick look right. Quick, Luke, push that button! 

Trick or Trauma

As I said to my friends on Friday night, Halloween is NOT for the faint of heart. It was my first with two kiddos, and right now, they are a lot like herding cats. I think from now on I'll pretend I have a moral objection to celebrating this exhausting affair.

I only have a few pics of Luke and Dosen dressed up. They were sporting traditional Ethiopian outfits we brought back in January, but no one really knew what to call them. Dosen was fairly self-explanatory, but the white kid in tribal gear was throwing people off! An Indian? Luke Skywalker? And my personal fave, a snowflake. Really, Edward?

I had 12 seconds to snap a few pics on the front porch...


...but at least Luke managed to carve out some time for his Rastafarian rap number!


Our first stop was the First Baptist shindig with 36,893,845 of our closest friends. Dosen had nothing good to say about the crowd, so he busied himself with the balloon tent.

Jake missed Halloween phase II while he was hard at work at the FBC event. I don't have any pictures of Luke's first ever legit trick 'o treat, but my pal Rachel hosted a super fun party after all the kids made their rounds in her neighborhood.

Both boys dragged themselves home only to crash filthy in their beds. Happy Hallowyucky!

A Weekend to Remember

It is one thing to travel to Ethiopia to meet your child for the first time, but to do so with 4 other terrific families adds great layers of fun to the roller coaster adventure of adoption. With advance planning spearheaded by our friends the David's, 4 of the 5 families met in Franklin, Tennessee at the Mihnovich's home for a travel group reunion.

9 children, 8 adults, 1 dog, a pumpkin farm, and a delicious italian dinner made for a fabulous, noisy, heart-warming weekend. It was certainly cameras 'o plenty, but I'm a lousy photographer. Here are a few shots of the fun, though:


Wagon full of fun - Sakari, Sam, Levi, Dosen being pushed by Owen, Abe and Luke. Whew!


Sakari, the only girl in the group. I unfortunately cropped her fabulous hair!


Abe, Luke, Dosen, and Owen - great new friends. Leah, superwoman, is mom to Sammy whose hand she's holding, Abe next to Luke, AND Owen on the end. She and her hubby Ben have already begun the adoption process for the 4th (and maybe 5th) Singleton family member.


Dosen did all he could to wake Levi up on Saturday morning.


The wagon couldn't go fast enough for Sammy and Dosen!


Luke enjoying a ride on Patriot led by the gracious and beautiful, Elle, Levi's big sister. Patriot is Elle's pride and joy, but she's selling him to help raise $ to bring more siblings home from Ethiopia. How amazing is that??


And finally, babies got back...and I cannot lie!

To our travel friends, thank you for taking time to make this little reunion so much fun! Carpenters, we hope you guys can join us next time. It was truly a weekend to remember!

One Year Ago

I'll go ahead and warn you of the very personal nature of this post. On October 3, 2007, we received a call from our adoption agency that we had been "matched" with a 4 month old baby boy in Ethiopia. In adoption world, "the call" is what you spend month after month, paper after paper, check after check, and tear after tear waiting for.

As if God Himself was trying to make the story more interesting for me to retell, I actually missed THE call. I was doing some work errands and just happened to check the phone as I drove to see a missed call from the most important area code in my life at the time.

Two minutes later, our coordinator spilled all she knew about Wondosen... all 30 seconds worth. I didn't hear a word she said. I had a real live baby waiting for me zillions of miles away! I hung up and immediately called Jake who was not close by. I obviously didn't rehearse this call because all I could say (scream actually) when he answered was "We have a BABY!" He made me promise not to look at the picture until we were together. Ugh. Fine. He raced to my office and we opened the email together. Here's what we saw...

Here's Dosen at 4 months old living in Addis Ababa at Children's Welfare orphanage. Our hearts totally melted. It's strange to look back at this picture because it really doesn't look much like the happy fatty boy that runs around our house now. After 8 months together, I know this is a look of fear and distance for him. There's a real sense of awe for us, though, knowing there was a baby to the right and left of him in this photo who could've been ours. God chose Dosen to be a Stum, and this little guy turned our family upside down in every way forever.

What did we ever do without him?

It's a boy!?!?

I'm proud to announce on behalf of the Stum family that our kidney stone intruder decided to leave today! It sure stinks for men to endure something so similar to childbirth with no reward whatsoever. Women can candy, flowers, jewelry, etc... Jake got a high 5 and a to do list. 

Daddy has a rolling stone

The transition from August to September has been eventful to put it mildly. The most dominating story of the month is our expectation of our third child - a 2 mm kidney stone that is no hurry to exit Jake's tormented body. We're one week into this mess, and in every way it is terrible. He feels horrid, and I feel horrid for him (selfishly, that is). 

Meanwhile, Luke is charging away at kindergarten. He's confessed that it is much different than preschool, but he is learning so, so much. His writing has improved dramatically in just the first 3 weeks of school, and he totally digs PE time. Here's the funniest story he's shared with me to date. We'll call the other child "Johnny."

"Mom, Johnny's breath smelled so BAD today--just like throw up." 

"Hmm, maybe he forgot to brush his teeth?"

"Uh, no. It smells like throw up every day. It just changes flavors." 

Then there is Dosen. Sweet, smiley Dosen. He's just charming and hilarious, but we're in the midst of rocking his world. At 15 months, he's still taking 3 bottles a day. I know that we're long past that stage, but in my opinion rules changes just a bit in adoption. It took us every minute of 3 months to get him on a good routine, and another 3 months to perfect it. He sleeps and eats so well that I've put off the weaning until now. In contrast to his carefree attitude about the mid-day switch to a sippy cup, he weeped and wailed when he realized there would be no "baba" after his bath. He downed a warm cup of milk just 20 minutes prior, but it was clearly not the same. 

Also in Dosen news - he got a haircut! Here is where good mom's would insert a picture of his new do, but as any parents of 2nd children might attest to, I was not present for the cutting. Our wonderful nanny friend, Karis, took him for me. Please think before casting judgement, and if you need to re-read the above paragraphs to help you, do so now.  It looks very cute and much more even. Just a few snips with the scissors (not clippers) and a gallon of pomade did the trick. 

That's all for now. I've decided circus ring masters do not get paid nearly enough.

No Parents Allowed

I think I've always been competitive. At 5 it's charming. At 15 it's applauded. At 25 it's survival. At 32... it's obnoxious, and it has officially seeped into my children's lives as well. 

Usually it's the simple milestone comparisons that get me:

Them: So is Dosen walking yet?

Me: (proudly) Yes! How about little Sammy? 

Them: No, but he's really trying.

Me: (filled with ugly pride) Of course he is. 

Today it struck twice as Luke attended kindergarten & soccer evaluations. He was on his own for both activities, so who I expected him to compete with is a mystery. The sweet kindergarten teachers asked him to demonstrate his recognition of letters, numbers, shapes, and colors. Duh! He can do all of that with his eyes closed. So imagine my horror when I heard him pausing to recognize an uppercase C! Did he just say, Z!  I wanted to bust the door down and ask for a redo. Parents aren't allowed in the room. Hmm, imagine that? 

I'll admit that we haven't worked with Luke on soccer skills since, well, October, but the evaluation is just a series of running, kicking, and shooting the ball. I gave him a pep talk in the car on the way over to the field, and Jake even gave him some practice kicks before headed out. Cue "Eye of the Tiger" or something.  Jake was totally on board with me until I wanted to give Luke a pep talk before EVERY drill. The madness ended with his suggestion that I tend to Dosen while he took L to the rest of the stations. Ouch. 

This all sounds horrible, I know, but I believe so strongly in my boys and their abilities that it drives me bananas to think anyone will ever underestimate them. Being your family's biggest cheerleader is important and needed, but being a psychotic one - not so much. I think this year is going to present a lot of opportunity for me to find balance in my competitiveness. Either that or Jake will ban me from every school or sporting event. 

Grieving with Hope

Go immediately to your children and hug them. Really tight. 

Chapman Family Speaks Out

Kindergarten check-up

Get comfy. I'm in need of the therapy that comes from transparency.

Holy cow, what a day. At 10:15 this morning I looked around to realize that I was living one of those, "this is so happening to me" moments. Luke starts kindergarten in 2 weeks, so being a super organized mom, I planned far in advance... HA! I barely got the kid into the doc before the first day of school, and no, I have no clue where his SS card is. There. On with my story.

Luke thrives in structure and predictability, so Jake and I did our best to prepare him for how the check-up would shake down. Fortunately, everything went as planned - at first. He found great humor in filling the neat plastic cup in a way he's never allowed to repeat at home, he nailed the hearing test, he's literally off the charts in height and weight, and he made the nurse double take on the vision test as he identified every stinking object on the chart down to the last microscopic row. That's my boy!

Enter doctor. L and Dr. C chummed it up and had a great time. High 5's all around for great health. Exit doc. Enter nurse with her poorly disguised torture tote. Lady, do you really think a few stickers will hide the zillions of NEEDLES you've got stowed in there? Seriously?

To her credit she executed the finger stick with amazing skill. In fact she was so fast that Luke didn't even have time to cry. I was feeling so proud at this point. Luke's halo was perfectly polished and shiny...until... the shots. I've tried all day to deconstruct how this part of the visit fell apart, and I'm left to blame. See, I told Luke that there would be 3 shots. I know better. Never, ever give hard numbers to a detail-oriented child. It turned out to be 4, and for those vaccine-a-phobes out there, I'm sorry. Why one additional shot sent him over the edge, I'm not sure, but over the edge is actually an understatement.

Nurse Needle asked him to sit on the table and let me hold him. He started to cry. Understandable. He offered alternative plans like "Can't we just come back tomorrow?" Smart. He rethought the value of kindergarten and his special reward--dinner at PF Changs. Funny. But then things REALLY fell apart. In a matter of 5 minutes he is screaming his head off, kicking the nurse AND me, and refusing to get on the table. She called for her nurse bff to come help. No good. The 3 of us failed to reason with him or get all 56lbs of him hoisted on the table. Finally Dr. C came to help us (or salvage his pediatric practice), and even with his fatherly care and amazing bedside manner, he ends up joining the literal fight to get Luke on the dang table. Luke is still screaming, "Get your hands off me! You're choking me! I hate this place! Just let me watch! I'm leaving! ...."

I was so torn between laughing or crying because the situation merited both. I just kept picturing moms in other exam rooms covering their child's ears or texting their friends to say what a lunatic kid and unfit mother were doing in a room nearby. I so wanted to take Luke's place because he was justly afraid, and it was my fault since I gave him faulty info. I'm telling you, this kid is so in to the fine print that he yelled at the nurses who utilized the fancy double-stick technique for only giving him 2 shots instead of 4.

I'm not sure when he or I will fully recover from our experience, but I'm certain his mommy trust bank will be receiving non-sufficient fund notices for quite some time.

Hair

I never dreamed HAIR would be such an issue with boys. In fact, this is precisely why I always wanted boys--no accessories to deal with, fewer products, no melt-downs over poor stylists... HA! Insert photo for reference:

Luke has more hair than any 5 year old should, and lucky for him, it grows forward into a lovely helmet shape, Recently he very reluctantly agreed to a haircut on his terms. The cut could only be performed at our city's finest - Great Clips. He also insisted that the stylist NOT use texturizing scissors. Huh? Who taught him about texturizing scissors? That alone is cause for concern. However, he looks very handsome post-shearing.

Now Dosen. Please look back at photo 1. Granted this picture was taken late evening on a very hot day. Maybe that explains the fuzzy pencil effect? Not sure, but we have so many products to tame his locks. Not a one seems to work. We want to let his hair grow, but up close, he's got some real craziness to deal with. I even joined an African hair support group blog.

I'm thinking it's time we seek professional help. If you have haircare tips to share, we are obviously in need of hearing them!

Tagged

I'm not savvy in the blog world by any means, and several months ago we were "tagged" by our Ethiopia travel friends, the Carpenters. I'm still not sure I know what that means. I think a traditional "tag" requires that you reveal 10 interesting facts about yourself? That sounds like pure torture to me, but thankfully P. Carpenter asked that I shift those facts to Dosen. Talk about my children? THAT I can do!



1. Dosen is a hoss. Not sure if that word translates across the US and abroad or not, but he is a BIG boy. 27lbs & 25+ inches tall. I have a killer right bicep to prove it.







2. He is tricky about his food. He will convince you that green beans are God's personal gift to him, and the next day, he'll act as if you are feeding him canned sardines. Why, child?


3. He loves people... IF they are standing a minimum of 10' away. He will laugh and entertain until someone reaches for him. "Oh, you thought you could hold me? Back that thang up, buddy."


4. D and Dad are big time buddies. In Ethiopia, he was all about his mama and continued to be for the first few months at home. I knew it wouldn't take long for him to realize Daddy is the fun one. Mom... yawn.





5. D is one noisy child. We read that Ethiopians are quiet, soft-spoken people. Dosen missed that memo. He babbles with us as if we are having a very serious conversation. His cry is not for the faint of heart. Better suited for the faint of hearing. He even holds his belly to laugh when tells himself a joke.


6. He is Mr. How To. If there's a way to manipulate a toy or object so as to discover hidden holes, buttons, or fasteners, Dosen will find it.





7. Brotherhood. Dosen ADORES his brother. He follows him all over the house and mimicks much of what Luke does. However, Dosen is a brute. I'm certain that our boys will come to blows many times in their lives, but I'm putting my money on Dosen. Did I mention they are nearly 4 years apart?


8. He does not want his hands dirty for any reason. Once he is done with whatever activity inflicted this nuisance, he will freeze with his hands out until they are properly attended. What is the male form of diva?






9. As of this weekend, we can now call Dosen a walker. It's a bit gracious because he still crawls a lot, but he can walk just about anywhere he wants to go. Each day his stride looks less like Frankenstein.



10. Dosen is full, full, full of joy and energy. We are so VERY crazy about him, and he is most certainly a Stum.

Papa & Honey's House

My parents used to have names, but I'm not sure even they remember what those names were. For the last 5 years, they have affectionately been referred to as Papa and Honey - their assigned grandparent names. I'm just vain enough not to risk what name our first born might have muttered that stuck, so I planned ahead and chose their new names for them. "Papa" is fun and easy going - my dad exactly. "Honey" is just cute, and if you know my mom, it fits her perfectly.

These are photos from our 4th of July trip to their "compound" as we call it. If a pool, 2 driveways, 3 buildings, climbing trees, a house full of every toy made since 2003, and cupboards full of snacks cannot entertain your children, you are in trouble.

Playing in Papa's shop.

Loving the pool. Please note Luke and his goggles.

They have been a permanent accessory this summer.

And yes, we do have to use sunscreen on Dosen. You know you wanted to ask.

Who knew mulch was so entertaining? What mom lets her baby play in this mess in his pajamas in the front yard at 10am? Um... me.

Grand Reopening

When a restaurant gets a really bad health code score or changes management, they close the place down for awhile, let people forget about it, and then wham...slap a sign on the place advertising they are back open for business.

Well that's us, or our blog anyway. Our former mac.com site (may she rest in peace) was originally created to share our adoption journey with friends and family. However, since it was a mac site, it could only be updated on those fancy apple logo-bearing machines. Ours happens to belong to my very busy, very studious, very connected husband who uses his laptop way too much for more important reasons than updating our family blog. It is unfair to our publics really because Jake did an outstanding job of uploading fabulous footage of our trip to Africa to meet our 2nd child, Dosen. We had scads of photos, too, but I think the last entry was dated in March. Something had to be done as the blogging world raged on without us. It was time for a family blog facelift and new management.

As my friend says, that's the long, shaggy dog story. All this work is really just so our children's grandparents can see their adorable faces, but we pretend there are more people tuning in.