The World of ŦĦØΜД§ & Mï$$ў
Me && Myself
Name : Thomas Hell a.k.a.
           Missy Hannalya
DOB   : Dec 4th
HT     : Tampin, NS
CL      : Cyberjaya, Sel
Ocp    : Student
Fld     : IT


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The World of Thomas & Missy
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My Past
December 2001
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December 2004
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April 2006
November 2006
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March 2007
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July 2007
February 2008

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Have you ever know...

Everyone around me know that I'm always desperate for love... wanting love more than any other thing...yes... I need love... I'm a creature that feeds on love... and nothing else to continue living on the cruel world...

Money is not the most important thing in this world... it never is... because money can be earned one way or another... even after you lost all... but love... there's only one... that only one that can make everything perfect...

I had been fallen in love, liking only the outside of a person or the simplest thing they had done... for a lot of times... realizing it all the while and yet still fall for another one... but I never had fallen for a person more than once...

I met this girl for more than a year ago... Yes, at first, it was love at first sight... as there's something special about her... she looks good... with her style... and I told her that I liked her and was rejected immediately... knowing that it's just that much of her that I like, I did not pursue much... and I left... for half a year and more... not getting in touch with her could have been a good thing for me to move on and maybe get another chic...

And I met her some time ago...while we're again working for the same project... Yes... it was just a plain coincident... I thought... since it's just a random placement for the work... but then... some how... I slowly realize that it wasn't just her that I like... it's everything about her... her smile... her care... every single thing... I know I had been stupid... but again I know that this is that special someone for me... that I can not let go...

But yet... again and still... I'm being rejected... as there was never love for me in the 1st place... was there? There had never been any mortal love for me since the very beginning... but yet... I clung to them... knowing mortal love only last a while... but they gave the most support... as for living so far till now... I yearn for them... not because of what you are... but because of who you are... as you're still and will forever be that special someone... in life...

ŦĦØΜД§ &Image& Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 1:43:00 am



Saturday, July 28, 2007

Good bye... everyone...

I'm all alone now here... now at this moment... even moments before... felt like I've been deserted... like hope is no more... life is no more... no one cares...

The world seemed collapse the very moment she says she can't make it for the movie... I tried to not think about it... I watched anime to keep my thought away from it... but it still feel lonely... I asked others if they can go with me... no one is free... no one more to ask... I felt deserted... even as if GOD himself had left me to be a pity soul... relying on him don't yield no nothing... was this his plot to make me a gay? I find myself wanting to be with him more... when he's so far off... I can't reach to him physically...

The lousy ugly noisy singing voice from the MTR right in front of me is getting at my nerves...

Life is as if no more hope any more... people just don't know how I feel... even if they do... they don't care... even if they care... they are not able or is unwilling to do anything to help... why can't I gain happiness like those around me... only making me jealous... and wanting more...

I've thought so much that I know not what had I thought about nor had I been thinking and wanting to think... I don't feel like working...

Looking at people passing by...

While admitting my disability to chat her... I wanted to keep it cool... but with the movie cancelled and watching my favourite show all alone... it's same as living in a lonely island...

I want to cry... feel like crying... but no one knows... no one will...

Stupid person who just potted himself is really making a seriously disturbing sounds to my mood...

Just when I start to find life... find path... find a way to walk... everything just have to come fallen apart... is this what GOD want of us... depending of him and never walk alone since human are cocky and once they realised that they can live their own life that they will forget about GOD???

YOU are making me think this way man... I blame YOU for everything... so I think I better just leave you and be back to my own little world of free thinker and you just don't exist no more...

yes... everything is because of you... who else is able to do such thing? only you... blame the devils? nah... they are my friend... I should just do some crime... end up in jail and live the rest of my life inside without having to care for any other things outside...

I don't feel like going for dinner tomorrow... after being so eager... it just feels like it's not even worthy to have that dinner any more... Sleeping is not going to do me good... Playing game only will get me temporary away... praying is totally getting no where... killing myself is the only way... yeah... I better go for that path... it will be the best kind of feeling... who cares... no one cares... even if they do... they cannot be in my shoes and taste what I had been though... being useless and unsuccessful... being forgotten and leaved behind...

... ... ...

ŦĦØΜД§ &Image& Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 1:12:00 am



Wednesday, July 04, 2007

God blessed...

Well... I was a dumb again for experimenting some useless fact...

Due to the weird situation that a company that I was supposed to go for an interview on Monday required my SPM result (useless 5 year old qualification paper) which I was not having with me, I was forced to return home yesterday to obtain the rest of my paper work for what ever future might be hell of a situation interview...

While riding home, I was quite refusing to fill in the petrol while on the road before and on the Seremban R&R... and strongly believe (which is a seriously wrong and stupid dumb doing) that the petrol would last me till the Rembau / Pedas / Linggi R&R... which it turns out fatal as the petrol run dried on the very exit to Rembau / Pedas / Linggi...

As I was riding my iron galloping horse, I pray to GOD that he would help me... I actually started praying when I saw the gas hit red and the petrol station is still no where to be found... And just when I started pushing a little bit on my bike, a broke down looking van came by and stopped... then reverse... The 1s thing that struck me is that the driver is those people who always lurk around the highway to help repair broken down vehicles... and charge an extremely nice price... and it was an Indian guy that came out... so I speak Malay with him... which he then struck me with Mandarin... and I was stunned...

He then ask me my problem which of course I lied that I forgot to check my petrol meter... he then offered to help carry by bike to the next petrol station free of charge... which of course I think might be a lie... but I accepted his offering since the passed by PLUS Ronda doesn't have extra petrol to spare... while we were on the road we chat a bit and he was telling me he's working on the highway construction... and finally we reached the petrol station which is on the opposite side of the road and 12KM down from the place where I stopped... We lowered the bike from his van and I offered to pay him some money... without hesitation, he keeps rejecting my money... and then just walked back to his van, and bid me good bye...

I was so amazed by his kind heart that I asked for his name, which is Raja...

While I was praying, I pray to GOD to give me some extra petrol so that I can move till the next petrol station... and he did give it to me... in another way... which I am very grateful to HIM... and also to Raja who is the person that came to my rescue... I then pray to LORD that he do bless Raja for his kind work and that he would gain happiness from doing such job...

Well... the petrol station had a power outrage which I was forced to wait some time for the power to come back up and fill my petrol and move home again...

It's very much dumb of me to really do that... and of course... the moral of the story is not to be dumb and do dumb experiments...

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

ŦĦØΜД§ &Image& Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 5:26:00 pm



Tuesday, July 03, 2007

A dream... Heart broken... Dream shettered...

I had a dream today... was because I slept a lot...

Secret broken... truth known... and she knows it's me... all along... just not confirmed...

Well... the girl I love knows that it is her that I'm chasing... and of course confirmed it after dinner with my chumps... and I was forced to told the truth... and then rejected... as of what predicted... but is still friend...

Then dream came in the depth of my deep slumber... She was there... in my dream... but it was not a happy dream... I was scolded badly for a comment that I made... for something that I said... Deeply hurt, I cried... in the dream... feeling the world at it's end...

A book broken... nothing works well... everything goes bad... immediately after the scolding... after the broken heart...




Wong Tai Ko was inside the dream... think I still miss him and his nonsense afterall...

ŦĦØΜД§ &Image& Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 10:52:00 am



Wednesday, June 27, 2007

One ID, One Password... nah... you won't want that...

Well... I'm bored... I'm always bored...

And so... today an email came to me asking me to join or thank me for joining the OpenID site... (https://www.myopenid.com/) Which of course I never recall myself visiting this site ever before.. so out of curiosity, I went to the site to try and find out what it is... but the original front page doesn't show must or tell much... but there's a link to "Learn More About OpenID" which is a blog... (http://janrain.com/openid)

After reading through the simple site... hell yeah... this things simplifies your life so much... Like your IC, ID or what ever your country use to represent who you are with that one number or what ever thing, you only need that and all the sites you go to are as simple as just showing your ID... even to buy alcohol... (in some country)

Don't know what I'm babbling about? I too do not understand at all...

The things works like this... all you need is one ID, one password, and you can use that same thing to access to multiple accounts across the internet that have linkage to this site... it's a good thing, right? register once and then you can log on to any site or register at any site within a few seconds to a few minutes (depend on your internet speed...)

Lazy people will always thinks that this is good... but... what if your password had accidentally been stolen? Wouldn't that leads to the fact that all you site are crushed?

Think about the hassle of using different names and passwords at different sites... aren't that safer? well... just keep a log book for yourself about the username and password if you tend to forget... but keep it some where safe... like your sew a pocket in your underpants and put it there... scared you forgot and wash it? then write a few more and put under your shoe, in your socks, under your wigs, in your lungs... or what ever... no one ask you to forget things...

ŦĦØΜД§ &Image& Mï$$ў :"Your Thoughts Are Precious... To me..." (0) @@ 1:40:00 pm



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