The Next ~20 Weeks

25 Weeks

My second trimester was a breeze, but as soon as my third trimester hit, things started getting worse and worse. I'm almost never comfortable. I'm lucky to get an hour or two of uninterrupted sleep, thanks to the giant body pillow that takes up more than my fair share of the bed. Between wrestling that pillow, the constant need to pee, heartburn, restless legs, cramps, the wiggly little night owl in my tummy, and my hips cracking (and feeling) like they're splitting in half every time I try to roll over... neither Todd nor I have been consistently well-rested in months.

The hormones that made me so pleasant and joyful and excited in the second trimester have turned. I spent most of the weekend of my baby shower crying. Not sweet, slightly overwhelmed tears--distraught tears. I'm not prone to depression. I don't like it. We moved from our one bedroom apartment to a three bedroom townhouse 8 months along... I will try very hard never to do that again, it was the major factor in my mental decline. And I was sad to be spending our last month as non-parents in such a fluster of chores.

Todd has done all of the work I just can't do. He's handled my crazy without making me feel bad for it. He's willingly slept on the tiniest sliver of bed, getting barely more sleep than I do. Thank goodness for that husband of mine.

27 Weeks

Luckily, most of the time I still feel okay. After a tough month of moving, we've been able to take time together to do things besides assemble flat-packed furniture. Being miserable is intolerable, so I'm trying hard to enjoy these last few days without complaint or regard to the inconveniences. Trying to rediscover some of that second-trimester joy.

31 Weeks

Things I like: feeling the baby move. I thought I'd only feel flutters or a little kick now and again, and I thought it would gross me out. But I watch him make waves roll across my stomach and sometimes he moves so much it shakes me. I'm always grabbing Todd's hand to feel a little knee or bum sticking up before he moves it. It's like he's constantly reminding me he's there.

I thought I would be self-conscious about being hugely pregnant, but I'm not. I'm reeeealllllly looking forward to going back to normal (or close). But I'm lucky I can still wear all of my shoes and my wedding ring and I have just two tiny stretch marks. When all is said and done, I'll have gained about 40 pounds. And I can (and do) safely indulge my main craving to my heart's content-- ice!

Todd and I often talk about how happy we are to be having a boy. I was so surprised this baby isn't a girl, it took a few weeks for the happiness to sink in, but I absolutely would not have it any other way. It is right and we are thrilled. We are meant to be parents to a son and we can't wait to meet him.

36 Weeks

We went to Wal-Mart for groceries a few hours after this picture was taken. A big black woman stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me, exclaimed "GIRL, you HUGE!" and told me there was no way I'd make it to my due date. Ha!

The First 20 Weeks

5-8 Weeks

I have generally felt okay... the fact that I'm not living over the toilet bowl is the shock of my life. To call what little nausea I've had "Morning Sickness" would really be a disgrace to Morning Sickness. But it does make even thinking about eating unpleasant. If babies' eating habits are set in the womb, this child's primary food groups will be crackers and Nutella, the only things I can stomach reliably.

The things I've been craving are mostly things I can't get in Denmark: baloney + American cheese sandwich on white bread, Subway Cold Cut Combo with tons of mayo, pizza Lunchables, Chipotle salad, Cafe Rio salad, chicken nuggets. And burritos, like you wouldn't believe. My main aversion has been to chicken-- I can eat it just fine in nugget form, but the thought of cooking a chicken breast is sickening.

Baby W got his/her first nicknames. I called him/her "Baby Blueberry," due to the fact that he/she was the size of a blueberry sometime recently. Todd changed that to "Old Blue." (We watched A Christmas Story this month.) So sorry, child.

9 Weeks
My nausea and aversions have gone way down, HOORAY! I don't hate all food! I eat stuff! I can swallow my huge vitamins that smell like regurgitated dirt! I still don't look at all pregnant, though I now can't suck my stomach all the way flat.

According to every old wives' tale I've ever heard, we're expecting a boy. My complexion is fine, I mostly crave savory things, I'm not terribly sick, and the Chinese Gender Chart says boy. Todd leans a little toward wanting a boy and I lean a little toward wanting a girl, but obviously neither of us truly cares. I just want to know.


10 Weeks
I told my high school friends and the Darden wives about the pregnancy today. So much for my years-old plan to keep the pregnancy to ourselves until 20 weeks! I would surely have let something slip anyway.

Aside from tiredness (especially in the evening), I feel better every day. And baby was thankfully 100% cooperative on my flights from Denmark back to the US. I can eat vegetables again and more foods sound edible all the time, though I'm still iffy on chicken. Weirdest aversion.

11 Weeks
We got to see Baby W for the first time this week! Seeing him/her on the ultrasound was just crazy--something's really in there, and it moves! I expected to see an alien blob, but you could nearly count fingers and toes! The doctor took a couple pictures of the scan for me to take home, then Baby W started "performing" by kicking his/her feet and fist pumping, so she took a few more. Todd was sad to miss the first ultrasound (he's still in Denmark), but happy for a good report and pictures!

12-13 Weeks
I absolutely must have pizza Lunchables.

14 Weeks
My family saw me for the first time since I've been pregnant. My sisters giggled and pointed at my tummy (which still looks like nothing to anyone except those who know) because yes, it's a little funny to see me looking a bit... round.

15 Weeks
I may have felt the baby move? Todd and I were playing Risk (the board game) with Caitlin, and I felt something possibly squirm slightly?

16 Weeks
More of this brief, squirmy stuff... I do think that's the baby.

17 Weeks
Now I'm sure s/he's moving around. It feels like popcorn popping inside my lower tummy... but sometimes it's a distinct kick!

We find out Baby's gender next week. I still think it's a girl and will be very surprised if it isn't. Not unhappily surprised, though. I truly don't care. Todd thinks it's a boy and he thinks he'll be right because he suspected I was pregnant when I assured him I wasn't.

18 Weeks
So much for motherly intuition-- Todd was right, it's a BOY! I think daddy is rather proud. I was just so happy to see  10 fingers, 10 toes, and nothing we should be worried about. He's a squirmy little guy-- the ultrasound pictures are all blurry because he would.not.hold.still.

19 Weeks
Todd felt the baby kick for the first time-- he was thrilled. It was sweet, I won't lie. And I definitely think I'm looking pregnant these days. I'm down to one pairs of pants that still button. Stretch, hips, stretch!

20 Weeks
I got my first random stranger tummy run from the checkout lady at Costco. It didn't bug me nearly as much as I thought it would. We're halfway to baby! And if it doesn't look like much... refer back to week 5 and you'll clearly see these extra 15 lbs.

AMERICA!

Raleigh 1.20.14

I had to fly home from Europe by myself while Todd stayed in Copenhagen to work for two more weeks. I was really nervous about it when we booked my tickets back in July (flying + alone + ocean = confluence of my worst fears) but I was hardly nervous at all the day I flew! Maybe my phobia is disappearing, maybe I was too excited about home to care, or maybe I was successfully limiting my stress for the sake of my child. But I'll give credit where I really think its due: Todd gave me a Priesthood blessing the night before.

Things were going smoothly until we were checking my bags at the airport and I pulled Todd's passport out of my pocket and handed it to the desk agent.

I have this completely remarkable ability to remember a thousand tiny details and forget the one absolutely crucial piece, which has somehow become even worse with pregnancy. So I was really careful to have all my ducks in a row for the return home. The luggage was sorted, labelled, packed, ready. I had specifically put my passport in the interior zipped pouch of my carry-on days before so I wouldn't forget the one thing I couldn't leave the country without. Just that morning, I had taken Todd's passport out and left on the desk at our apartment... CRAP.

My flight left in 90 minutes and it would take at least 2 hours for us to go all the way back to Østerbro- we'd have to reschedule my entire trip. Rather than choosing a productive response, I started bawling my eyes out.

Todd handled my crazy like a champ. He went to the ticketing desk and started the process of rescheduling me for a later flight while trying to reassure me that everything would be fine. I just stood there, sobbing. (I'm normally not drama like that... pregnancy.)

Then I realized, the passport I gave the desk agent came from my pocket. I hadn't checked the zipped pouch.

So I checked the pouch, and guess what was inside? It turns out I had both of our passports with me. What was a major disaster in my morning turned out to be a blessing-- what if I had checked my bag first instead of my pocket, and unknowingly traveled all the way to America with Todd's passport?

Still shaken at THAT whole experience, plus having to leave Todd (which I've never been good at), I was quite red-eyed when I went through security. The security man asked me if I was okay, and I said 'yes' unconvincingly. He saw my birthplace on my passport and said "Utah? No NFL team, right? You like football? Who's your team then?" Ha! What a nice guy, seeing a need and trying to cheer me up.

After that, my trip home couldn't possibly have gone better. (Except the part where I left my passport on a scanning station at emigration in New York. What do I need to do, tether that thing to me?!)

My jet lag was pretty bad, so I woke up the next morning at like 4:30. I occupied myself around the apartment until 7, then I went to get some breakfast and drove around while watching the sun rise. The temperature was in the 60s and the sun was shining. I felt absolutely joyful. I hadn't realized how depressed I'd been for at least a month. I was so happy to be home.

So many Tender Mercies-- from no flight phobia, to discovering Todd's passport, to the nice security guy, to the empty seats next to me on my trans-Atlantic flight, to the lack of pregnancy fatigue, to the kid who found my passport in NYC, to a sunny 60-degree day in January. So grateful.