So, this is it I guess. I didn't think it'd be this soon, but here I am.
I haven't really enjoyed this for a while now.
I'll still be on msn and stuff, but I'm not going to keep posting here. At the moment, I'm going to continue posting on my tumblr, so I'll see how that goes.
Thank you to everyone that's ever read some of this, commented on a post, followed, sent me an email or said hi on msn.
Sorry to anyone who's only started reading this recently.
Byes,
Joshua.
PS: I will be leaving it up. I've put to much work into this to just get rid of it. However, if I do decide some time in the future, to blog again, it probably won't be here. I'll probably post here to say so, if anyone is still looking at this by then lol. But this blog was about me, being a gay boy. And I'm not that, anymore. So, if I decide to return to blogging, I'll make a pretty new one, and put up a post here saying so.
PPS: my Tumblr is htt://tombi04.tumblr.com. I'm going to keep with the music videos and random stuff there, probably.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Why?
I don't understand why, in human society, anyone needs to come out.
Why is it that we see it as something so far from the norm, that it needs to be announced, like it actually matters? Because it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all.
What is wrong with our society, that people have to come out?
Our society is broken, imperfect.
Why is it, that we can't fix it?
Is it maybe the fact that we, ourselves, are broken and imperfect?
That no matter how hard we strive, we will never live in a perfect world?
Is it that a perfect world can't exist with us in it, because we, as humans, are by nature filled with flaws?
A Utopian society is one of the most harmful ideas that has ever crept into the heads and hearts of humankind. It is one that makes people believe any means will justify the end, if this perfect society, this Utopia can be made to exist.
Perfection is such a harmful idea. No matter how hard we strive, it can't be achieved. Nothing is perfect.
Perfection is an illusion.
Never try to be perfect.
Try to be your best. Your best isn't perfect, it never will be. But is can be pretty damn amazing.
Even try to be better than your best, because you just may improve yourself.
But don't try for perfection. It can't be achieved, and anyone who seeks perfection will ultimately fail.
As humans, we will always make mistakes. They will always have consequences.
As a society, we expect too much. It is right that there are consequences for mistakes. It is not right that we look on somebody as something lesser, for making mistakes.
Laters,
Joshua.
Addendum: Apparently I didn't make myself clear.
I was, at no time, suggesting people shouldn't come out.
I was pointing to a fundamental flaw in society, where a person's sexuality is assumed to be heterosexual unless something points otherwise. Where children are forced into hetero-normative views, to the point that some will go long times in their lives not realising that maybe they do like the same gender, so strongly is it ingrained in them that they will grow up and marry someone of the opposite gender.
When it comes to sexual identity, it is an individuals right to explore that how they wish, regardless of the gender of the person they explore it with. A society that teaches us any one way is normal, in this matter, is not functioning as it should to raise children in an environment best for them, in my view.
Do not assume I am unaware of the current reality. I know society considers heterosexuality normative behaviour. However, there was a time when it was normal for women, or racial minorities to have no rights. Just because something is one way, that does not in any way make it right.
My point, when I said no-one should have to come out, was that there is a fundamental flaw in society that it is necessary to have to explain we are different than a societal expectation.
Why is it that we see it as something so far from the norm, that it needs to be announced, like it actually matters? Because it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all.
What is wrong with our society, that people have to come out?
Our society is broken, imperfect.
Why is it, that we can't fix it?
Is it maybe the fact that we, ourselves, are broken and imperfect?
That no matter how hard we strive, we will never live in a perfect world?
Is it that a perfect world can't exist with us in it, because we, as humans, are by nature filled with flaws?
A Utopian society is one of the most harmful ideas that has ever crept into the heads and hearts of humankind. It is one that makes people believe any means will justify the end, if this perfect society, this Utopia can be made to exist.
Perfection is such a harmful idea. No matter how hard we strive, it can't be achieved. Nothing is perfect.
Perfection is an illusion.
Never try to be perfect.
Try to be your best. Your best isn't perfect, it never will be. But is can be pretty damn amazing.
Even try to be better than your best, because you just may improve yourself.
But don't try for perfection. It can't be achieved, and anyone who seeks perfection will ultimately fail.
As humans, we will always make mistakes. They will always have consequences.
As a society, we expect too much. It is right that there are consequences for mistakes. It is not right that we look on somebody as something lesser, for making mistakes.
Laters,
Joshua.
Addendum: Apparently I didn't make myself clear.
I was, at no time, suggesting people shouldn't come out.
I was pointing to a fundamental flaw in society, where a person's sexuality is assumed to be heterosexual unless something points otherwise. Where children are forced into hetero-normative views, to the point that some will go long times in their lives not realising that maybe they do like the same gender, so strongly is it ingrained in them that they will grow up and marry someone of the opposite gender.
When it comes to sexual identity, it is an individuals right to explore that how they wish, regardless of the gender of the person they explore it with. A society that teaches us any one way is normal, in this matter, is not functioning as it should to raise children in an environment best for them, in my view.
Do not assume I am unaware of the current reality. I know society considers heterosexuality normative behaviour. However, there was a time when it was normal for women, or racial minorities to have no rights. Just because something is one way, that does not in any way make it right.
My point, when I said no-one should have to come out, was that there is a fundamental flaw in society that it is necessary to have to explain we are different than a societal expectation.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
1 Year Already?
So, it would appear about a month ago, I'd been blogging for one year. And, in typical fashion, I completely forgot it. So I'm doing it now!
Yay! One year. Geez, the time went fast. I've met some awesome people, and changed quite a bit (hopefully for the better lol). In celebration, I've gone and found this pretty new custom template thingy to brighten it up. My widgety-bits (no, I don't mean that bit perves ;P) have, for the most bit been changed a little. I cut some of the old dead blogs from my blog list, added one I've meant to put in for a while, added a little search box, and just changed some small stuff mainly. Also, I've taken advantage of having two sidebars, which I feel has given the layout a nice balance, and means I don't have one massive long one lol.
So yeah, it's been pretty great, and really nice sharing stuff about myself, and reading a bunch of other people's blogs. Thank you all, I've really loved it.
Laters,
Joshua.
Yay! One year. Geez, the time went fast. I've met some awesome people, and changed quite a bit (hopefully for the better lol). In celebration, I've gone and found this pretty new custom template thingy to brighten it up. My widgety-bits (no, I don't mean that bit perves ;P) have, for the most bit been changed a little. I cut some of the old dead blogs from my blog list, added one I've meant to put in for a while, added a little search box, and just changed some small stuff mainly. Also, I've taken advantage of having two sidebars, which I feel has given the layout a nice balance, and means I don't have one massive long one lol.
So yeah, it's been pretty great, and really nice sharing stuff about myself, and reading a bunch of other people's blogs. Thank you all, I've really loved it.
Laters,
Joshua.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Julie Bindel Part 2
Okay, firstly the time on my last post is screwy sorry, it's showing up as about a day earlier than it should be.
Also, I've had the pleasure to stumble across another article by Julie Bindel, this time from 2008. I would like to begin by saying my opinion of the Guardian is lowered by these pieces of hers, which are far more suited to a publication such as The Sun. Her articles are littered with blatant transphobia, and not just transphobia but it also displays a disregard or contempt for anyone not straight, gay or lesbian ("Queer (anyone who is into "kinky" sex)", a direct quote). She also displays a lack of journalistic ability, in that she seems to be unwilling to do even some small basic research, choosing instead to blindly defend her own archaic viewpoint, not even knowing what she defends it against.
Laters,
Joshua.
Also, I've had the pleasure to stumble across another article by Julie Bindel, this time from 2008. I would like to begin by saying my opinion of the Guardian is lowered by these pieces of hers, which are far more suited to a publication such as The Sun. Her articles are littered with blatant transphobia, and not just transphobia but it also displays a disregard or contempt for anyone not straight, gay or lesbian ("Queer (anyone who is into "kinky" sex)", a direct quote). She also displays a lack of journalistic ability, in that she seems to be unwilling to do even some small basic research, choosing instead to blindly defend her own archaic viewpoint, not even knowing what she defends it against.
Laters,
Joshua.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Julie Bindel
I've come across an old article from 2004 (link), written by this journalist Julie Bindel. And regardless of what work she's done for feminism, I can't help but dislike this woman.
My dislike of her draws almost entirely from her stance on transsexualism and transgenderism. She strikes me as ridiculously out of touch. She seems to have the idea that people change genders to fit their sexuality, as well as the positively archaic idea that physical gender is the only gender people have.
Having a sex change isn't something you do to "normalise" your sexual attractions. It's something you do to make the body that you were born with match your gender identity. Now, another place she goes wrong is thinking that transitioning to match your gender identity is validating societal gender roles (the roles she fought, as a feminist, to show weren't real and were just created by society). When a person transitions, it doesn't mean they're changing from, say a 'butch' male stereotype to a 'girly' female stereotype. Plenty of post-op male to female transgender people won't be that female stereotype, they'll be all over the 'spectrum of femininity', just like with cisgender women.
It isn't about being 'not happy with the constraints of your gender', as she puts it. It's when somebody knows that they aren't the physical gender they've been born with. This strong knowledge that their body is wrong can be deeply disturbing and cause great emotional distress, which will quite often lead to gender identity dysphoria.
Also, if she would like to argue that gender identity is completely learned, I would refer her to the case of David Reimer. When he was a baby, David was born a healthy male. However, he had Phimosis, a condition where the foreskin is too tight to retract. He was refferred for circumcision at the age of eight months. He was unfortunate to get a doctor that did not usually perform them, and performed the surgery with cauterization (yes, that's right, the idiot quack decided to burn it off). David's penis was burnt beyond surgical repair. So, he was, at the age of 22 months, reassigned to female (I'm skipping some stuff here, read the article I linked for the full details) and given the name Brenda. The psychologist, John Money (who was, at the time, a major proponent of gender identity being entirely learned) counseled 'Brenda' through 'her' childhood, and gave no report that it was anything other than successful. However, Reimer, at the age of fourteen, began to live as a male, and underwent all of the necessary procedures to become physically male. He knew, despite being raised as a girl, that he was a boy.
This is an instance where (as we so often argue is the case for us), nature was proven to triumph over nurture. Raising Reimer as a girl did not make him one. The case of transgender people is the same, in that they will identify with their gender identity regardless of their body, or what they are raised as.
You may ask, "Joshua, why is this all so important to you?". Well, other than my strong desire for everyone to have equal rights, it's important because it's an issue close to my heart.
Okay, um, wow, here we go.
This is me, here, coming out, for the second time in my life.
I don't identify as male or female. I would describe myself, rather than as a homosexual male, as an androsexual androgyne (that is, an androgyne that is attracted to males, I believe the prefix andro means two different things in these words(I prefer androsexual to androphilia, the latter sounds too much like a fetish to me lol)). I feel that, rather than having a male or female gender identity, I'm somewhere inbetween. It's something I've thought long and hard about, swinging between the two, before I realised I didn't have to be either. And it's so freeing.
So yeah, give me your opinions on Julie.Honestly, you can comment on what I said about me, but I would rather hear your opinions on the issue I discussed rather than my personal revelation lol. Okay, disregard that lol. If you wanna talk to me about it or something, I'm really more than open for questions.
Laters,
Joshua.
My dislike of her draws almost entirely from her stance on transsexualism and transgenderism. She strikes me as ridiculously out of touch. She seems to have the idea that people change genders to fit their sexuality, as well as the positively archaic idea that physical gender is the only gender people have.
Having a sex change isn't something you do to "normalise" your sexual attractions. It's something you do to make the body that you were born with match your gender identity. Now, another place she goes wrong is thinking that transitioning to match your gender identity is validating societal gender roles (the roles she fought, as a feminist, to show weren't real and were just created by society). When a person transitions, it doesn't mean they're changing from, say a 'butch' male stereotype to a 'girly' female stereotype. Plenty of post-op male to female transgender people won't be that female stereotype, they'll be all over the 'spectrum of femininity', just like with cisgender women.
It isn't about being 'not happy with the constraints of your gender', as she puts it. It's when somebody knows that they aren't the physical gender they've been born with. This strong knowledge that their body is wrong can be deeply disturbing and cause great emotional distress, which will quite often lead to gender identity dysphoria.
Also, if she would like to argue that gender identity is completely learned, I would refer her to the case of David Reimer. When he was a baby, David was born a healthy male. However, he had Phimosis, a condition where the foreskin is too tight to retract. He was refferred for circumcision at the age of eight months. He was unfortunate to get a doctor that did not usually perform them, and performed the surgery with cauterization (yes, that's right, the idiot quack decided to burn it off). David's penis was burnt beyond surgical repair. So, he was, at the age of 22 months, reassigned to female (I'm skipping some stuff here, read the article I linked for the full details) and given the name Brenda. The psychologist, John Money (who was, at the time, a major proponent of gender identity being entirely learned) counseled 'Brenda' through 'her' childhood, and gave no report that it was anything other than successful. However, Reimer, at the age of fourteen, began to live as a male, and underwent all of the necessary procedures to become physically male. He knew, despite being raised as a girl, that he was a boy.
This is an instance where (as we so often argue is the case for us), nature was proven to triumph over nurture. Raising Reimer as a girl did not make him one. The case of transgender people is the same, in that they will identify with their gender identity regardless of their body, or what they are raised as.
You may ask, "Joshua, why is this all so important to you?". Well, other than my strong desire for everyone to have equal rights, it's important because it's an issue close to my heart.
Okay, um, wow, here we go.
This is me, here, coming out, for the second time in my life.
I don't identify as male or female. I would describe myself, rather than as a homosexual male, as an androsexual androgyne (that is, an androgyne that is attracted to males, I believe the prefix andro means two different things in these words(I prefer androsexual to androphilia, the latter sounds too much like a fetish to me lol)). I feel that, rather than having a male or female gender identity, I'm somewhere inbetween. It's something I've thought long and hard about, swinging between the two, before I realised I didn't have to be either. And it's so freeing.
So yeah, give me your opinions on Julie.
Laters,
Joshua.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I Love Mirrorboy Day
So, today, Wednesday the second of December, is I Love Mirrorboy Day.
Basically, Ryan (from The Gay Onion and his personal Ryan's Portal) made this blog, and invited a bunch of us to post there about why we love Mirrorboy.
So, Mboy, when you see this (and there'll be the others posting it too), go to I Love Mirrorboy Day and check it out. I hope you're having loads of fun with Bitboy.
I've got a post in the works, so there'll be a proper one soon.
Laters,
Joshua.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Song For The Painfully Indie
Tom Milsom - Song For The Painfully Indie
Painfully Mainstream, his new album is out now. It has this, along with Indigo, and some other great tracks.
You can go here, or buy it on iTunes.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Gay Internet Celebrities
Sorry this is just a video post. I still don't really feel like writing much.
I pretty much agree with what he says.
Laters,
Joshua.
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