unconditionally, irrevocably in love with you

I don't know how am I feeling now. I read through the emails I emailed Carmen a few months ago. I felt that I was too in love with him. I felt that I was really a fool, a damn fool. I don't know why would I do that. It's not that I've really let go now. I've let go gradually but it's still not enough to return to myself to the month of march to early April this year. Thursday is the day which the Form fives waited long. I'm not too sure if I'm desperate to go or not.

I realize that I was too desperate for something, something that I will never ever achieve successfully. For the whole year, the most that I would regret is that I've the intention, that bad intention! Prom is just around the corner, indeed. I hope that I will never have that bad bad bad intention so that I could concentrade on something final I wanted to achieve, something that will make me feel good...

I really wanted to ask someone, am I right doing this? Should I continue this act? Or should I be last time me during High School times? which always is stuffed in the inside of me, no sharing, just by myself? I guess I am being too foolish again. I'm going to Japan in 5 days time, coming back from Japan, High School is not going to be suitable for me to enter any longer and I would be staying at home that first month of 2009 with kye li. It will help. I know it will.

Thinking back to the High School times this year, my friend once told me
"Courage is the willingness to be afraid and yet act in order to get what you want!"
I understand it. I still remember myself kept struggling to show my courage and yet nothing happened, it remained silent, peaceful. I doubt anything would happened as well though sometimes I kept visualize the possibilities.

I don't think I need the courage anymore to complete my mission but Carmen, I will remember what you told me or advice me before, I swear I will! Thanks for your advice though. Next year, I will not be able to share with you anymore you are going to
K college!!! haha!!

I will know the truth on this coming Thursday but I will controll myself, I know I can! =D


Good luck.Prom Night. Host family

Random

7 more days to go!!

Can't believe it. Only one more week and I will be in Japan but my host family details are not delivered to me yet. Well, may be Erica, Jun Yong and I are the one who are more special. May be we will get better host! =D

Glad that SPM is over. It's been a few days I didn't go to school and will never go back anymore. I missed school. I missed my friends. I missed teachers. I missed everyone there, the building, the structure, the class rooms, the library, the laughter of 5 omega, the girlfriend's gossips, the smiley face everyday i see in school, the announcement, the tears, the joy.

I guess next year in the morning I will dress up to school and realize that I'm too old to go to a secondary school. Well, have to accept the fact that I've been officially graduated though. Time can;t stay there forever but move on. Move on is the best thing.

Holidays are just going on. One more week to go to Japan. I realized that time is short, time is really limited. Talking about life is short. I will always think about something humorous went on in my class. Well, 5 omegarians, you guys will know what am I talking about!

Next Thursday is Prom Night. Time flies~ And that would be my last day to see ALL of them. Of course we will have some other time to see each other but the feeling will not be the same as it used to anymore. As I hugged Belin on our last day of SPM, I felt relatively sorrow. I felt dismay. Tears are almost running down my cheeks. That's how emotional I am, You can't blame me. =p Belin is not going to Prom Night, that's why I felt sad to separate with her. I know, we will be seeing each other but what if one of us can't make it? what if? Then the gathering wouldn't be called Flower Formation because one petal is absent.

B is going to Melbourne next Monday and I'm not going to see her anymore till next year, perhaps? she has to go NS. Wish you luck, Bee. Find your honey around NS. SF is not going anywhere though. Its okay SF. I will still online in Japan and send you some messages to signal you that I'm gonna miss you there! =]

Mariko still hasn't reply my damn emails. I wonder has her computer broken into pieces again. That was what she told me, her computer was broken. Well, I'm not teasing her! I'm just finding an excuse for her. See! I'm a good Host sister! Fukuoka is really far from Narita and yet I feel like perhaps bumping into her? Just missed her so damn much. XD If and only if we could turn back the time and return to those days we had together. Really miss those days we had together.
Remembering the first day when I talked to her, she couldn't understand what am I trying to say.

Anyway, my Host family details is on it's way! I should wait patiently! Right, this is the right attitude. =)


YE Chai Hooi Jett <3

It's Over!

With a blink of my eyes, SPM is over, my secondary school has come to an end. As I'm done with commerce Paper 1, I began to feel the excitement in me, that feeling is like so relieve, it is like everything is over, really over, just by a few minutes. As the time passing, I began to think of my first step into the great hall, Sri KL's Great Hall, my first expression was "WOW! This hall is so huge, so wonderful!" and now, my last step from The Great Hall is "yes! Its over, It's Finally OVER!"

Sigh~
Form 4 and 5 seemed to passed so rapidly. When we were in school, holidays are always in our heads, and now its holiday, but we kept looking back at the times we had together, the memories. From first day of SPM- Bm to the last day of SPM- Commerce. This will be stained in my memory forever.

The Last day of SPM was Irene's birthday. So we celebrated her birthday in pyramid. It's been so long since I've been to Pyramid!


HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY IRENE!!

Happy Birthday, Irene. haha. I know you are the earliest who finished exam. I know, I know! But I think you will remember this 17th birthday celebration of yours for life and life, right? Yeah. So, keep in touch and we will meet again, next year? When I come back from Japan. That would be awesome, many things to share with you guys. Nice knowing you! Friends for Life and Thanks for everything!!

After SPM Celebration and Irene's 17th Birthday:





9 more days to go to Japan! =D
Mariko!!! I'm coming! =D

It's gonna be over really soon

SPM for Chai Hooi Jett, from Sri Kuala Lumpur is coming to an end.
Commerce is her last paper.
Friends that she made in this school will remain in her memory for the rest of her life.
She has never felt sad being in this School.
She made a lot of great friends.
She is proud to be in this school.
She is very grateful to her mom for sending her to this very cool SCHOOL. (Thanks mom)
She learns to present lame jokes from the Flowers.
She learns to improve her English in this School.
She learns to appreciate Friends for Time is Short.

She Is Just Happy Being In SRI KUALA LUMPUR!!!!

Tomorrow will be her last paper. COunting from now, less than 24 hours till the paper ends. =D
Come on, You can do it!

"Commerce! You need to make it easy for me to get an A, Just like Econs today. Thank you!"




~Happy Studying. Good Luck. Enjoy. Memories not to be forgotten. Bye.~
HJ <3

Jet's Monday =D

My lazy worm (lan chong in mandarin) is emerging again. 0_o I'm lazing around but not studying! I should be sitting on the chair in my study room having a book to revise but I'm NOT. Oh well, this long break seemed to be useless to me? At least last few days I studied something.

1st of Dec
-Accounts

2nd of Dec
-Econ

3rd of Dec (Last day!! yipee!)
-Dag

Mr Tong told me to study Accounts, F4&5 the whole book! And he will ask me questions like he used to a few months ago which I hated! Its okay I guess for the sake of that A for Accounts! If I don't get an A for this subject, my dad is gonna be dissapointed again! Yes, he is an accountant and I don't think he enjoy hearing an Accountant's daughter can't get an A for her Accounts? What's this?

I'm gonna study Econ and Accounts today! Yipeeeeee XD

I'm crapping again. Yes! Mission completed! I'm free of everything about him
I hope this continues after Prom. Just hope for nothing rubbish will happen. I have not receive my host family details yet. But Eng-Teng and Yee June has received. Eng-Teng has got one host family while Yee June has got 3! She's going to be in New Zealand for 1 month. whoa. I guesss she will enjoy her trip there. I'm not going to the same place as Eng-Teng! As long as I can be with Rou Ying, Pei Hun, and Shu Hua, it will be all right. Yes! The four of us will be together again, just like last year's YE camp.

Today is Monday, that means I'm missing another of Mrs J's lesson again. I think I'm going to her tuition next year until March when I'm getting my results! :s Kye li is coming back on the 25th of Dec 2008! Sadly, I'm not around. I'm truthfully extremely sorry miss hoppy but I promise you when I come back from Japan, I'm yours! you will have me the whole month! Isn't that enough? We can tell secrets among ourselves at night, go shopping everyday, go onlineeee!(That was what we did before you migrated!) ...etc. I can't wait till 11th of Dec, then 13th of Dec! There are so many programmes arranged and I'm not going to be bored! =)

Right now, I have just to focus on my studies, 3 more subjects to go! I can do it! come on. I'm going to have my braces of on the 4th of Dec, which is before Prom. I hope my teeth won't run away, LOL. Not run away, but back to normal. I'm going to have a fix retainer and another retainer which I have to wear it every night.

Narita

Nagoya

Kansai

Mariko, why aren't you replying my emails? As well as my letters? Have you forgotten me? Which I don't think so because you are going remember me, your host sister forever!!!

JAPAN I'm COMING!
(mariko, I'm going to see you in Japan, I don't care!)

Friends till the end!

9 more days to Accounts! And then we are free. OMG! Can't wait for 3rd of Dec. It's Irene's birthday.. I guess we are going? Well, what should I write about today?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S F.O.R. L.I.F.E

What do you think about that statement?
Friends that will remain bonded for life? For once, Mr Chew's speech stated that Friends you made in secondary school are going to be your friends for life and I agreed. Without schoolmates, I wouldn't be who I am today. I know, I kinda used this statement quite few times but it's absolutely true that I've changed tremendously since I met them.

Flower Formation
What first came in your mind after looking at this 2 words? five petals come joined together to form a wonderful flower? Yes! you are right! There is a group called "Flower Formation" in 5 Omega 08'. The five petals that formed a small Flower. Their relationship as close as sisters, their laughter were always heard once grouped together, once a free period has occurred you might hear this only word "flower formation!" and you can see the five petals together forming a beautiful flower.

They have fantastic names as well : Carmen, Belin, Munn Yee, Ya Wan and Hooi Jett.

































These are pictures of the petals! Very few pictures with Ya Wan cos she doesn't like to take pic with her school uniform on! =/
This Friendship in my Secondary High school, Sri KL will last eternally. I won't forget it. The memories we created together will remain in my memory for the rest of my life! Remember, my flower members, keep in touch always and forever. I love you guys lotss.




5Omega~ 5Rho 08'
Well I can say 5 Omega and 5 Rho o8' formed a very close bond among each and another since 2007 to 2008. You can see lots of Omega's gang are from Rho and Rho's gang are from Omega. This both class~business arts and pure arts.

For me, yes, of course I have my gang in Rho as well. =) They are my mandarin gang! Most of my memories are with them.



This is my childhood friend. Basically, she's the daughter of my mom's friend. But during our childhood moments, we don't really talk to each other, just remember us playing together, jumping here and there when were young that time. It's not until then, I met her again. It was last year, when we were in the same school in form 4. Although we are not from the same class yet, our friendship are close indeed. Don't forget me, Michelle Lim See Bee!
Thanks for the memories! Will Miss you lotss too <3 style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">



Hew Soo Fong! She's my VERY BEST FRIEND since this year ONLY. Last year, I find her a little quiet. thats all! Rarely talk to her too. When I met her again and went to break and lunch with her this year, I realized she is different, very different from last year. I love to be with her! We share different kind of secrets and teased each other very often, but she cares about my problems a lot, especially goal keeper, if you know? I doubt so. Anyway, I will miss her the most. Friends forever!




One of my bestie from my gang! She is the only one among us that has a partner. Well, I know her last year as well. Form 4 just determines our friendship. And she is the one who is always with me after school during Fridays last year. I still remember us talking a lot, especially after school and I followed her out sometimes too. haha. The moments is just unforgettable till the end of time. Friendship till the end IRENE LEE AI LING!!





Unforgettable Moments!






















Moments are always so sweet that sometimes, we didn't even know that we are running out of time for being together! My dear friends, our secondary moments are coming to an end, that means we are going to separate soon, really soon. 3 more subjects to go for SPM. In the future, no matter what happen, we must keep in touch and our sweet memories together must not be forgotten! Remember our nick names : Fong,Bee,Ling,Jet.. Not to be forgotten, Flower formation must also remain in the hearts of the five petals! Love you guys.



Friends till the end!

A deep cut that will never be heal eternally

This is a story which suddenly poped into my mind while i was studying :

" Why did you left me a tinge of pain?" I recalled the nightmare as I walked through form fives classes in my Secondary High School which I've graduated a few years ago.

I remember myself sitting on that brown coloured chair thinking about somebody, someone whom I loved that moment. The painful moment are still as clear as crystals in my mind that it seemed to be a scar that will not fade away eternally. Looking him into his eyes at that moment, I can barely focus on talking to my friends. It was him that exists in front of me though he is a few metres away from me. How far? I still can spot him. My heart beat raised as his footsteps came near me, eyes widen, I'm shivering!

"Are you okay?" asked one of my best pal worriedly as she spotted my expression.

I heard no sound. Everything around me seemed a thousand miles away but though he is just a few metres away from me yet it seemed that he is just right infront of me. My eyes still eyed on him. I strucked immediately once his eyes met mine.

The electrical eye contact! I've lose! I admit...

I know it's all over but the sweet moments that the both of us had during our secondary year is stained in my heart, eternally. ~

Sometimes, I was wondering do you still have me in your mind? Do you still recall our sweet memories? The song that we both composed, do you still keep it? Or have you cumpled it into a trash? I can't resist any longer, I wanna throw you out of my brain but somehow it remained, deeply in the little broken heart of mine...

Take A Look Peeps!

Rules :
- Pick your birth month .
- Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you .
- Bold (or italicize) the best apply to you .
- Copy to your own blog , with all twelve months .
- Tag 10 peoples

Tagged by YIN LI

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children


The Twelve Months

JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.Talk ative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties instudy ing. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children

NOVEMBER:Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.

Tag to:

~Kye li
~Carmen
~Soo Fong
~Michelle
~Jen Soon

Killing mosquitoes~

I've been killing mosquitoes the whole morning this morning. I studied Accounts, but it is as though I studied nothing, perhaps just reading through only. I can never study better in front of the computer. Although I'm alone studying without anyone chatting with me online and yet I've this feeling. Every time I hear this song, something will just come into my mind. I really want to say "thanks for your sharing but I'm not interested."

It had been long since I've attended Mrs J's tuition. I feel like attending because I always feel motivated after attending her class and it was she who introduced "The Secret" to us. This book is marvelous! Can't live without this book. I guess I will be bringing this book along to Japan. So that, at the same time can motivate myself and refresh.

I've decided. I've decided to forget and enjoy my 3 weeks life in Japan. Yes, is totally forget. Right after prom, 2 more days to prepare for Japan and I'm going to focus on Japan only! I know this is an idiot's act but I've nothing more to do than to at least try to forget him .
Why does time need to pass so rapidly? SF and gang are having their ART paper right now. Hope that they can do it! RIGHT.

prom.Japan.Prom.Japan.Prom.Japan.Prom.Japan.Prom.Japan.Prom.Japan!!!!!!

Can't let go~

A drop of tears, a sign of your back, I still can't let go of you, eventually. Why are all these running through my mind recently? I'm not supposed to have you in mind. But how can I not? It has been half a year since everything started. I don't want to believe that fate has decide everything. Is it that fate has decide that I'm not supposed to put my hopes high? But why in the first place, everything seemed to be up-side-down? I said I don't want but it turned up to be yes.

Perhaps I'm just thinking about something ought not to be thought of. Or may be just getting my hopes high and hope to reach for it. Everything seemed impossible for me to complete. Why are you always stopping me from completing my mission? REPEATEDLY! Well, I can't blame you as you don't know any single thing about my mission.

SPM~ 3 more subjects to go.

SPM is coming to an end which brings happiness to everyone! Of course, I'm glad as well that it's over, it's all over, finally over... PROM is arriving. I should be happy. As the word "prom" rang into my ear, a thrive of shiver come towards me. I can't imagine seeing the person whom all this while is my victim of mission there. In mind, he is gone on 31th of oct 2008, out of my thoughts, my mind... I really thought, and assume that everything would be over by this day but out of my surprise, someone updated me that that victim of mine is going, as well. A thump of quick heartbeat raised upon me. I knew for sure I've 2 feelings. One, happy. Two, sad...

In the future, I hope I will have the courage to face that victim of mine. Anyway, there will only be once to see him that is PROM! Come on, I can do it, I have sf. Its okay. I will be able to overcome it. =)


Jet<3

Eternal snow

How long has it been since I fell in love with you?
My feelings only increase
Will you notice them
Even though I've never once put them into words?

Like the snow, they just
Quietly keep accumulating

Hold me tight- if this is how it feels
I didn't want to know
What it was like to be in love with someone
I love you- my tears won't stop
And so I wish
That I had never met you

How long will I be thinking of you?
My sighs fogged up the window glass

Can a candle flame
Still melt my trembling heart?

Hold me tight, tight enough to break me
So that even in an icy wind or a blizzard
I won't feel cold
I miss you- every time I think of you
Tonight, too, I hold
This half-finished muffler, all alone

If there was an eternally falling snow
Could it hide my feelings for you?

Hold me tight- if this is how it feels
I didn't want to know
What it was like to be in love with someone
I love you- the feeling wells up in my chest
I want to shout to the wintery sky
"I want to see you right now"

SPM~

Xanga is just freaking lousy! I took almost 2 hrs to wait for the post to come out so that I can blog but still it remained silent. So, I've decided to use blogger!

Well, this week is the second week of SPM. First week's subjects were relatively easy but second week's subjects were rather difficult for Add Maths. I did that subject till caught a very cracking headache! Now, I still left for 3 more subjects and 12 more days to go. Time flies.

Tomorrow they are having Islam and Art P1. Good luck to those who are sitting for those 2 subjects.

The Hari Raya holiday is arriving! Well, but it do no effect to the Chinese and the Indians. I'm here to blog about holidays. Do you know why some people thinks that their holidays is full of boredom, hatred? That's because it is they themselves who has determined how their holiday should be before the start of the holidays! Before the holidays, they might think, "aww.. it's holidays again! I guess it might be a bored holiday for me, without friends around, and just study! oh, i hate studying man!" That's the main reason. Are you thinking that I'm wholly talking crap?

Well, I might say that you are certainly wrong! A person with a negative mind set will not go on with a positive life unless they change their point of view of life. Imagine someone saying "Ohno! I'm gonna be late for the meeting, the manager is going to have me killed! oh noo..." And yes, that person will certainly be LATE! Whatsoever that you tell your mind with the word "don't", the negative part will appear. But if someone said something positive, eg. I'm going to be early, I'm going to be in time, then it will turn out to be positive!

I was harmed with negative thoughts a few days ago, but after taking a glimse of the book "the secret", my whole point of view changed AGAIN! Yes, I've read this book many many times but after I stopped reading for a long period, I will be moody. I realized that in the past, I've done many mistakes, although I've read the secret a lot of times, yet I don't know how to make use of it. I was moody, sadness fill me up. Now that I've reread the book and watched the movie in Mrs J's house, I rised from 0% to 100%. Yes, I visualized before, but what I visualized was wrong! Totally false! In my imagination, it should be all positive, 100% positive but what I visualize was actually half positive and half negative, that's the reason why I didn't succeed in the past. Now that I've understand the concept, I visualized and felt happy. I was surprised as well as in the past when I visualized, I felt unwillingly sad. Sadness occupied me!

Friendship <3

It is not until I met them, I finally understood the meaning of true friendship. What is friendship to you? Well, I see some friendship that involved a lot of argument, as in I don't like her, I don't like him, because of a minor situation and the friendship is being tarnished! Well, I seriously hate those kind of friendship.

Friendship is talking about trust, loyal. If you are loyal and trust your friend, why believe stranger's gossip about your most trustful friend? This is not loyal, and not trust either. I come across best friends who listen to some other people's gossip and believe them. I've even experienced it myself before. I once believe other people's view about her and I started to hate her so badly. Until then, i realize that I actually was blinded by the fact that I believed the wrong person!

I went through terrible friendship until I don't believe that there's a true friend who actually knows how to care for you or help you when you are down. During my upper secondary, I met a bunch of friends who knows how to care for me and calm me down when I'm not in a right emotion. They won't laugh at me when I'm wrong, they won't dump me for anything, they won't ignore me when I'm around the corner, crying! They just CARED about me a lot. I was extremely satisfied with my upper secondary friends, I trust them, I tell them everything. They have made my upper secondary year very memorable.

It's time to graduate when I suddenly realize there isn't much time left for us to remain together. I recalled the memories I have with them. It's just a very very very memorable and joyful moment with them. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am right now, I wouldn't know how positive I would be, I wouldn't understand the meaning of friendship, I wouldn't know how to appreciate friends, I wouldn't know how to tell jokes and I wouldn't even know how to cry for them for time is short. I know we can't be together for long. We will have our path to walk on.

For this coming graduation night, I guess I will be drown by tears of separation though after the graduation night, we will be still seeing each other in school. Anyways, without friends, we are nothing! Friends just create us..

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow, Don't walk behind me, I may not lead, Walk beside me, and be my friend."

Happiness

Have you ever experienced happiness? What is happiness? Well, for me, happiness is everything. Without happiness, I don't know how am I to continue my life. Well, of course, happiness is created by friends around you.

I once experienced despair, sorrow, everyday. My life was just a word to describe it! Dull. It's just something that has happened that turned me into an emo freak. In the middle of the class or in the process of completing my assignment, a drop of tears might flow down. Negative thoughts, unwanted thoughts, depressing thoughts came one after another into my mind. That was what i say, depressed.

Well, do you know how I overcome my sorrowful? By reading the book, "The Secret". This book is the greatest motivational book I've ever read. After I read this book, I understand happiness, success. Do you know why some people will get depressed, emotional...etc? That's because when the person think one sustain thought which is negative, negative thoughts will be manifested into that person's mind, and one by one, the negative thoughts were attracted and form depression. Do you know you actually attracted all these negative thoughts? yeah.. you actually did.

When you know that you are beginning to be sad, you should laugh more and tell yourself that you are happy. Talk to friends that are positive. Tell lame jokes to them. Make them laugh! It just will do you good. It will make you forget about your negative thoughts and the problem you are facing.

You can control your emotion and don;t let emotion control you! Just like me.. :) Now, I understand, and I know how to control my attitude towards any situation. Or else, I guess right now, I will not be able to concentrate in studying. :)

I guess that's all for now. =D

Appreciate life for you will never know how much you will regret...