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My Birthing Story

I've actually had my birthing story written for months. Tyron and I sat down and typed out the details a week or so after Auralia was born. I have gone back to it a few times, but just couldn't finish it until now. I didn't feel like I had the "ideal" hypnobirth  and so I felt so torn about it- proud that I did it, and yet I felt like I failed in some way. My reasoning was that I was quite vocal at the end, I experienced much more intensity & pain than I thought I would especially because of the back labor,  I didn't feel nearly as relaxed as I would have liked, I ended up tearing, and lastly pushing her down wasn't calm, relieving, or euphoric- I didn't feel like I could control it and it was painful and it burned.

I talked with Tyron about it a lot and he assured me over and over that I did great, that I wasn't out of control as I had felt and that I was much more relaxed than I recalled. I also spoke to my doula (who was also my hypnobirthing instructor) and she assured me that it was a perfect hypnobirth because "the point of hypnobirthing is NOT to birth without pain. The point is to birth with LOVE and CONFIDENCE, without FEAR, without unnecessary INTERVENTION, and with a supportive team who shares your birth vision. THAT is the definition of a successful hypnobirth."

So here it is (sorry it's so long; don't feel like you have to read it all, it's mostly so that I have it documented!):

On Tuesday, June 21st at 6:30 am, I woke up with contractions that didn’t feel like Braxton hicks, but were not intense or painful. I could sense that today would be the big day and that our little girl would be in our arms soon. In case things picked up quickly, Tyron packed our birthing center bags. I started timing contractions but unfortunately they were really sporadic, under a minute long, and even stopped at some point around 11 am. At 11:30 am, after feeling frustrated with the stop in progression, we decided to go for a walk to try to jumpstart things. After the walk, I got on my birth ball and bounced vigorously while doing nipple stimulation with a personal massager. Boy did it jumpstart things!!  By 12:30 pm I was having strong and somewhat intense contractions about 4 minutes apart and over a minute in length. Unfortunately, I was also starting to have slight back labor so I got off the birth ball and instead lay on the couch on my left side. Contractions continued for about an hour before we called Laura Curtis (our doula & who we took hypnobirthing classes from). Laura came to the apartment around 2 pm and helped me labor for an hour by helping me focus on being relaxed and comfortable. During that time, the contractions slowed to 6-7 minutes apart but were still over a minute long- which was a good sign. At 3 pm, after no changes in contractions, Laura said she was going to leave for an hour. This would give us time to see if things picked up without having someone over my shoulder. I continued to lay on the couch on my left side and use my hypnobirthing breathing technique through each contraction. When Laura came back at 4 pm, the intensity of contractions had picked up but they were still 6 minutes apart. Laura had gone and bought peanuts and had me eat a few handfuls for energy. She also mixed up some red raspberry leaf tea (note: red raspberry leaf tea is really nasty, but tastes much better cold!) and had me take big sips. She stressed how important it is to stay hydrated and to eat to stay fueled. Laura explained that since things hadn’t progressed for a couple of hours, that it was possible that contractions could taper off and not pick up again until the next day. I told myself that I was going to have the baby- that there was no prolonging the event. I was already overdue and would not go another day! I mentally couldn’t handle going through the night and into the next day.

Laura suggested that we order some pizza, watch a movie, and just relax. So after she left, we tried just that. We ordered a pepperoni pizza from Domino’s and started watching ‘Better off Ted’ episodes on Netflix. I was still having intense contractions, but was able to get down 2 pieces of pizza. I tried laying down on the couch and watching the show, but I was only able to get through the first 5 minutes before we had to shut it off because things had picked up and I needed to focus on laboring.

Labor had become intense and the back labor was incredibly painful. By 6 pm, contractions were 5 minutes apart and still over a minute long. I tried laboring with Tyron, but soon found myself tired and crying.  Tyron called the oncall midwife at Bella Natal (Sarah) and let her know that contractions were 5 minutes apart and over a minute long. Tyron also called Laura back and let her know things were picking up and that I was in a lot of pain with the back labor. Laura came back to the apartment around 6:45 pm. With the bad back labor, we assumed that the baby was in a posterior position. Laura felt around and the baby felt like she was anterior and in a great position. We hypothesized that the baby’s head could be pushing into my back at a weird angle and so I got in the Polar Bear position while Laura did robozo to try to better position the baby. After a while, my neck started aching, so I got on all fours with my head in Tyron’s lap as he rubbed my neck. Laura applied pressure & heat to my back. They would then switch so the person applying pressure to my back would get a break. During this, I did surge breathing and tried to focus on getting through each surge which Laura gently talked me through; with my birth color being red, she told me to focus on the color getting deeper when the contraction was intense and when it would hit its peak she’d tell me to let it go pink and finally white until it was gone. I also focused on breathing in red mist & sending it to my lower back for relief. It was amazing how much more calm, relaxed, and able I was to deal with the painful back labor. It was still painful, but manageable. I truly believe that without Laura there helping me visualize and manage each surge, I would have lost focus and my plan for a natural birth would have crumbled. What a great decision it was to have help from a doula- I’d recommend it to everyone!

Around 7:45 pm, I was still managing the back labor but it was on the brink of excruciating so we decided to change positions. Laura had me put my back to the wall against a heating pad and slightly bend my knees. Then when a surge came, I tilted my pelvis forward and lifted (literally) my belly with my hands. We hoped this would help get the baby’s head away from my back. I found slight relief doing this- enough to not crumble to pieces. Surges started to pick up and at 8:20 pm we called the midwife to let her we’d be in around 9 pm. However, the surges quickly jumped from 5 minutes apart to only 2 minutes apart! Around 8:30 pm, we decided we needed to go sooner than expected so Tyron packed the car and we drove to the birthing center with Laura following behind us. We arrived before 9 pm and I continued to do belly lifts on a heating pad against the wall while the birthing tub was filled. The midwife let us know that I would need to be dilated to at least 5 centimeters before they’d let me into the tub. They gave me a vaginal exam and I remember asking everyone where I was at- I had my heart set on getting in a nice warm tub. They told me that I was dilated to a 7- so much excitement & relief to hear this!

I got my swimming top on and got in the tub with Tyron and Laura sitting on the outside of the tub helping me labor. From 9:20-10:20 pm, I labored in the tub with my birthing affirmations CD on while I rocked around. My surges were getting more intense and, unfortunately, the back pain was also getting more excruciating. The surges started to come almost on top of each other and at some point, Tyron sat behind me on the rim of the tub and used his entire body to apply counter pressure on my back. I was on my knees, leaning against the rim of the tub. My knees ached and so we put wash clothes under them. I didn’t think about putting more warm water in the tub or turning the jets on- I was 100% focused on each and every surge and breathing through them. What ran through my head was the thought that I may have to deal with this awful back labor and intense surges for hours. I did not want labor to stall so I was determined to stay focused- listening to Laura and letting my body stay as relaxed as possible. My mind felt like it was racing around, flirting at times with panic. My calm & surge breathing techniques kept my body steady and calm and helped ease my mind. 

At 10:20 pm, I hit transition. My body started to shake and it took over completely. Laura assured me that this was a great sign because it meant that the baby would be here soon. I started to feel the urge to push with each surge and instead of breathing my baby down or having smooth & relaxed pushes, my body had me doing hard, uncontrollable pushes. The only thing I could do was let it happen. Instead of tensing up and fighting the pushing urges and foreign feelings of the baby moving through the birthing path, I made a conscious effort to breath through the pushes, to keep vocalizations to lower pitched moans, and to rest my jaw against the side of tub in order to keep it relaxed and opened instead of clenched and closed. And I did feel like I became very vocal- to me it seemed like yelling, but Tyron said that it was very controlled and not panicked or nearly as loud as I thought it was.

Laura stroked my hair and encouraged me- which I found incredibly helpful. During this, I felt the baby move down but after a few pushes she was still in the birthing canal. My midwife wanted to do a vaginal exam to make sure the cervix was completely open.  As she attempted the exam, she felt the baby’s head starting to move through the opening. I felt a burning sensation as she was crowning and I felt her head and then body emerge. Such relief to be done with labor and such excitement to have her here!! The midwife passed the baby through my legs and I reached down and brought her out of the water and held her against my chest. I cried as I held, kissed, and talked to her. Little Auralia was wide eyed, alert, and didn’t cry.  She was absolutely beautiful- no odd newborn look, no cone shaped head, and a great complexion. There was instant love, instant bonding.

While I leaned back and held Auralia, my midwife tried jiggling the cord to tease the placenta out.  After a couple of pushes nothing happened.  They had me stand up and I was finally able to push the placenta out.  There was no pain involved, it just felt like pushing squishy jello out. Tyron cut the cord and then took Auralia while I was helped out of tub and cleaned up by the midwives.

I had two minor internal tears, which took two stitches for the one and three for the other. My membranes stayed intact until just before Auralia was born (I thought she might be born with the water sac still intact around her!) and apparently there were membranes still in the uterus so the midwives picked them out with tweezers so it wouldn’t later clot and cause infection. After an hour of picking membranes out with tweezers and getting stitches, my family came into the room and we all watched the newborn exam. They were then able to hold Auralia for the first time.

So after months of replaying it in my head over and over, I've realized that it was successful and a wonderful experience. I will choose natural birth & hypnobirthing again. At 20 weeks during my pregnancy, I realized that birthing in a hospital with an OBGYN wasn't what I wanted. It didn't take long to find hypnobirthing and feel like it was exactly what I was to do. I soaked up the classes and the book and the scripts and felt at ease about a natural birth. Were there moments where I doubted? Yes! But there were so many more moments when I felt empowered and like I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do. I knew it was best for me & my baby and I wanted my husband to be there and very involved. And that's exactly how it was- he was my rock and my doula & midwife supported ALL of my decisions. I listened to my body and did what felt natural instead of being told to lay down and when to push. It was an unmedicated birth with no medical interventions, there were no complications, and Auralia and I were healthy. It was successful!

Here is a video that Laura got right before transition. I'm rocking & relaxing and then a surge hits. This video actually helped me feel so much better about how it went. It was proof to me that I wasn't out of control, but was much more relaxed than I realized:

For more information on Hypnobirthing or to find classes in Utah Valley visit Laura's website at: www.hypnobirthingutah.com

Aubrey's Visit- Empire State Building

So after arming ourselves with city friends baby gear, we ventured into the city on a cold, rainy day. We planned on doing the Empire State building...I know, not the smartest on a day with that kind of weather. Before going to the top, we darted into Starbucks for some steamers. It was a mini-disaster: stroller was in the way, hard to find a table, etc. A table opened up and Aubrey went to save it. I pushed the stroller through a somewhat narrow space and it bumped into a wobbly table & knocked over a lady's coffee. I said to heck with it and we headed over to the ESB to go to the lookout, but I wasn't exactly in a peachy mood. This is the awesome picture that we got forced to take:

The good news is that there was no wait to get to the top; the bad news is that there was no wait because it was FREEZING at the top- the rain was snow that high up. So we bundled Auralia and managed as much time on the observation deck as we could. I think we lasted about 20 minutes. Here's some awesome shots of our time at the Empire State Building:

Yes- there was a man inside of it. Yes- it was very creep.

Me in a poncho... no laughing, you gotta do whatever it takes to survive in the city.

In the center of the picture you can see the 'Macy's' sign. That Macy's takes up a whole city block and is the largest Macy's in the world. It's 10 stories of shopping! They have amazing displays at Christmas time, and sponsor the Thanksgiving Day parade. Also where the 1947 "Miracle on 34th Street" was filmed.

This is downtown Manhattan- where Wallstreet is at and also a ferry to go to the Statue of Liberty. You can barely make out the Statue of Liberty on the first island to the right of downtown.

A great shot of the Chrysler building.

My beautiful sister!

You can barely see Central Park in this photo. It's the bushy patch in the middle of the photo.

Auralia being a good sport!

The Empire State Building from the bottom

Okay funny story. Down in the ESB lobby there were these beautiful displays that Aubrey was taking pictures of. This cute old couple was standing to the left of it and Aubrey asked them if they minded if she take a quick photo of the display. They apparently thought she wanted a picture of them because he grabbed his wife and they scooched in and smiled and he told us about how they have been married for 60 years. Aubrey looked at me like, "what the heck am I supposed to do?" so she smiled back and snapped a photo of them. They were adorable :)

Some fun facts about the Empire State Building:

• There are 102 floors; 1,860 steps to the top, 6,500 windows
• it stands 1,250 feet tall
• it was a Great Depression project that actually finished ahead of schedule only taking a year and 45 days to complete
• it cost $40 million to build!
• no one lives in the building, it's just rented as office spaces

Aubrey's Visit- Central Park

It was so awesome having my sister here for 2 weeks!  For Christmas, my mom got us a Canon Rebel camera!! (Thanks mom! You're the best!!) And so Aubrey had it strapped around her neck for 2 weeks taking pictures of everything! She took around 400 pictures while she was here! But she did get some great pics!

Our first city adventure was Central Park. I had been with Tyron before, but this time we ventured to things I hadn't seen yet. It was so awesome! Ice rink, kids zoo, HUGE kids playground, carousel, and my favorite- the mall. It's the famous walkway under the trees that you often see in movies. And the leaves were gorgeous- they had turned and leaves were everywhere. The only thing that would have made it better would be if we had ditched the huge bulky heavy stroller for a smaller, lighter one. Which we did the next day when we ventured to Babies R' Us. It was so awful getting the huge thing around on public transit.

Here's Aub's great pics of Central Park:

Castle in the park

My adorable sister :)

Cityscape behind the ice rink

Me & Auralia, and some trees :)

"The Mall"- so gorgeous

Some twisted trees in "The Mall"

Bethesda Fountain- popular location in movies

Popular bridge in movies

One year we're going to rent rowboats...

A gorgeous red tree!

The Manhattan Temple at night

It's Thanksgiving Time...

This year we spent Thanksgiving in the Bronx...

The day before Thanksgiving we headed to the grocery store to pick up some things we forgot to pick up because we had been in D.C. What a madhouse!! The grocery store here is always packed and things are always running out of stock, but this day it was seriously crazy. They were all out of cans of pumpkin and there were only a few cans of apple & cherry pie filling left. Luckily, everything else was in stock and we had gotten our turkey weeks before. While we were in line, a sassy black lady in front of us was checking out & decided she didn't want a turkey so she just set it on the ground. I was concerned that it would thaw out & go bad (don't we have enough starving people that it's ridiculous for a turkey to go bad b/c someone was careless & lazy?!?!?) so I told the lady (nicely) that leaving the turkey there would just cause it to go bad. She told me that "it wasn't her problem" and that if I was so concerned that I should go put it back!! Oh the nerve of this lady! So Aubrey picked it up and when it was our turn she handed it to the cashier and said very loudly, "This lady just left this turkey on the ground and it needs to be put back." The sassy lady was standing there bagging her groceries and started mouthing off about us to her teenage daughter who was with her. She made sure we could hear. The cashier swore under her breath, shut down the lane temporarily, and stomped off with the turkey and another one that someone else had left. She came back and apologized & explained that she heard what the sassy lady said to us but she had to bite her tongue or else she'd just explode. Then we both agreed that karma will come back around and Ms. Sassy Pants will get what she deserves. Oh the adventures in the Bronx...

Anyways, we decided to go all out and make my mom's traditional Thanksgiving dinner. We invited people from the ward over, including the missionaries. Wednesday evening we started making food- I made pies and we did some stuffing & salad prep (laid the bread for the stuffing out to dry, chopped veggies, mixed dry ingredients, etc.) and I also scheduled out food for the next day. We decided to split the dinner making between me, Tyron & Aubrey. Thursday morning I started with butterhorn rolls around 7am. Tyron prepped the turkey and I made stuffing & stuffed the turkey. Tyron was awesome & made the candied yams, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Aubrey made the strawberry jello salad & green bean casserole and opened a can of cranberry jelly. Everything turned out AMAZING! I must admit that it was doable only because 3 of us were making food. I have no idea how my mom did it by herself year after year... so much admiration & respect for my momma!

Here's some fun pics of the day (sorry, we didn't get any of the food- I didn't think about it until after all the food was gone!):

Aubrey, Me, Tyron & Auralia. Guests (left to right): Elder Wilkins, Elder Barfuss, Rachael Tsakpoe, Sister Coleman, Sister Asregado, and Barbara Jean Kaufman. We set our cameras on a timer- took us 4 or so tries to get one that turned out!

The gals on Turkey Day! Mom sent Auralia a cute turkey bib!!

And to finish, I'd like to share with you the "Thanksgiving" song that was stuck in my head that day. It's sung to the Air Supply song that goes "I'm all outta love, I'm so lost without you...":

Will Ferrell: It's Thanksgiving time! It's such a great day now! Turkey and bread and plenty of stuffing!
Chris Kattan: It's Thanksgiving time! It's time for Jell-O! Watch some T.V. maybe have some grape Kool-Aid!
Chris Kattan: Oooooh! I think I dig your stuff!
Will Ferrell: I think I dig your stuff!
Will Ferrell: Well it's Thanksgiving time! I love your new blazer! Your sleeves are pushed up it looks pretty awesome!
Chris Kattan: Well thank you my friend! Your so kind to say so! Your eyes are so blue, I think that I like them!
Will Ferrell: Well it's Thanksgiving time! Let's go get a burger! Maybe some fries! Let's go take a car ride!
Chris Kattan: Go to a motel! Drink a gallon of brandy! Hang out in robes and see what develops!

Auralia rolled over!

Yesterday we were sitting watching the John Adams mini-series and Auralia was on her back on her playmat. She was teetering on her side like she's been doing a lot lately, but then she gave it some more "umph" and rolled from back to front! Then after a minute, she realized that she doesn't like being on her stomach and she flipped back over!

We're going to have to buy some rugs because my baby can roll!!! :)

5 months!

5 month photo!

Another month gone by... hard to believe. So what is cutie pie up to these days? Well, she's...

• officially found her feet and loves pulling off her socks. We'll find her socks all over the house from where she's secretly pulled them of and dropped them. She hasn't become much of a toe sucker though... yet
• experimented with sucking her thumb and I think she's decided that she likes it

• now a city baby! My sister has been here for 2 weeks visiting and after struggling in the city with a huge stroller (had to folded up on buses, had to be carried up lots of stairs on the subway, got stuck in the subway entrance, weighs 60 or so pounds plus Auralia), we desperately went to Babies R' Us and bought a smaller lightweight stroller, a winter bodysuit, a rain/weather shield for the stroller, and a stroller blanker (bundleme) 

Ready to go into the city!

You can see the rain cover here although it's not folded down over the stroller

What??? You think I'm cute? I can't quite hear you say it :)

 

• started having rice cereal! It's often just a tablespoon diluted in a bottle before bed and a few times has been actually made up as a thicker mush and given to her by spoon. She seems to really like it! We plan on starting her on solids next week when my mom gets here!

• been going to bed around 8 or 8:30 and if we can feed her right before she goes to sleep, she only wakes up once during the night to eat. So we're making progress...
• quite a napper! Usually naps for an hour in the morning, then 2 hours in the early afternoon, and another hour in the late afternoon before sleeping for 10 hours at night! Takes after her dad :)

• gotten so close to rolling over. She'll teeter on her side, but can't quite make the roll
• big on standing- she'd rather stand than sit
• experienced NYC's crazy freak weather- earthquake, hurricane, earliest reported snow dump in October, and the rainiest year (70 inches so far!)
• been to so many places already- Canada, NYC many times, and Washington D.C. (more trip pics to come!)

 

Here you can see the plastic rain cover! Oh, and Abraham Lincoln :)

OTHER FUN PICS!

Helping dad make some rolls

Sometimes she gives us this look like we're crazy...

Big eyes and a sweet smile...melts my heart!

Okay this is honestly the funniest picture ever! Remember how I said we would get a picture posted of her bones outfit glowing in the dark? Well, we went to take a picture in the dark and the flash went off (so we weren't able to get a glow-in-the-dark one) but we did get this sweet picture of her totally freaked out by the flash!

The Many Halloween Faces of Auralia

I love Halloween! Mostly because I love the fall, but I love Halloween parties, decorations, costumes, etc. I am a little sad that Auralia isn't old enough to take trick-or-treating and we won't get any trick-or-treaters and we don't know enough people to have a Halloween party and we didn't dress up this year... but at least Auralia rocked the costumes & Halloween "spirit" :) *Note to reader: tonight we'll be going out for sushi with some friends and then coming home to watch Hocus Pocus & enjoying some mini candy bars my mom sent. Okay, confession, the candy bars are already gone. But Tyron's mom mailed us some Canadian candy bars & I bought myself a snickers bar today!

Miss Auralia is sporting the classic look- a pumpkin beanie & pants from the clothes swap, and a onesie from G-ma Dedrickson.

Here our cutie has stepped it up a notch with a very adorable glow-in-the-dark bodysuit from G-ma Dedrickson. Glow-in-the-dark pictures to soon follow...

Our cute, little sack of bones at the unusual ward party... didn't stay long there!

Not a great picture, but going the extra mile with a pumpkin bib from Nana Jensen!

"Tired to the bone" (pahaha) from all the Halloween candy & scaring the Jews in the elevator. Just kidding- I didn't give her candy or let her scare the Jews :)

Thanks goes out to all of the wonderful costume contributions from my mom & Tyron's mom! Thanks so much!!! Love you both!!

Happy Halloween Y'all!

Somebody is 4 months old...

Stats from her 4 month appointment: 12lbs 11oz and 24 3/4 inches. 

 4th month pic

So what's new with Auralia?

1) She's sleeping in her crib in her own room!! And it's awesome! Now we can read in bed with the light on before bed! We also got her a mobile and she loves it. She never cries when we put her in her crib, and if she is a little fussy she just stares at the mobile and listens to the music and is out within minutes!

2) She's on a schedule- wahoo!! She goes down around the same time (7pm) and wakes up around the same time (7am). She's had some early wake up times lately (around 6am) so we're trying to slowing push her bedtime back. She also naps 3 times a day for an hour +. This has allowed me so much time to exercise, shower, clean, and get in an occasional nap :)

3) She's laughing! It's not often, but she does and it's so so so cute! Last week Tyron got her to laugh and she started laughing which made him laugh hard which made her laugh hard which made him laugh harder which made her laugh harder... you get the point! They were both laughing, her body was moving with laughter! It was so heart warming to watch :)  I wish I could have recorded it, but by the time we tried, she had stopped and we couldn't get her to start. I'll try and get something up soon...

4) She loves momma & daddy. She definitely did before, but now she recognizes us and smiles at us and will even cry if we leave the room. Being loved & needed by a child was something that I really looked forward to when we were trying to get pregnant. When we were with our friends and their children, it was nice having their kids come sit in our lap and want us to read them a book, but when it was time to cuddle up or if they had a boo boo and wanted to feel safe they went to mom or dad.


To sum it up, she's changing and growing- happy and healthy. Being a mom in a new place (and NYC of all places) without family or many friends to help and working part-time has been incredibly challenging, but I can keep going because I love my daughter with every fiber of my being! And I love my hubby!! He helps out all the time. I take the midnight and 4am feedings and he takes the 7am one and then stays up with her, letting me sleep in until about 9:30am. So nice! He does so much else to help too- changing diapers, putting her to bed, feeding her, cleaning bottles, etc. I love my little family!

Other fun pics of Auralia:

 Thumbs up- so excited!

A little too excited!

Loves sucking on her 2 fingers

Can totally see the Jensen in her in this pic!

"I can't believe you're making me do tummy time, and then taking pictures of it"

 

 

And a favorite- playing butt grab with sock monkey!